HEBER! HARLOW! Who Ya Got? The actual great debate going down tonight is as a football fan, should I dare cast my eyes on the fetid refuse that is an interdivisional NFC East contest? No, you didn’t deserve this. As for the other one tonight-I would pop in if this were an exchange of ideas but we all know that’s a sham of an artifice foisted on dumbsters by a corporate media claiming to be “doing their part” to help the democratic process along. Yeah, that worked in the 1800’s (debatable) but we’re long past that now. Best to watch large and speedy fuckers knock heads, right?
TO THE GAME!
Giants/Eagles:
-Miles Sanders is out but Sterling Shepard (predicting he would miss time early in the season is the easiest money ever made) and Desean are in.
-Just a reminder that NFC East teams are ‘led’ by these guys-Danny Mistimed Throw, Kyle Allen, Andy Dalton and Carson Wentz. The latter is ranked highest by PFF at 17th and that’s a reason right there to question their metrics. (I find a lot of their stuff quite interesting btw, I just wanted to do a joke thingy)
-The Jizziants have thrown downfield to te Engram exactly once so far this year-at the combine he ran a 4.42 40. Of course the best te’s like Kittle and Kelce have great numbers in comparison so I’ll just mention a doofus like Logan Ryan-he’s been targeted 14 times already.
-The Eagles have owned the Giants for some time now, their last loss occuring back in December of ’16. Of the last 24 times they’ve tussled the Battery Bearers sport a 20-4 mark.
-Detroit Lion castoff Travis Fulgham is on fire with 16 catches the last 2 weeks. Imagine how bad Philly would be at the wr spot had he not come out nowhere.
-The league average for getting a TD when in the red zone this year is at 63.7% and the Giants are pulling up the rear at 25%. FIELD GOALS AHOY, CAPTAIN!
Please join me and Gratliff as we pity-watch the hell out of this mofo.
I love this picture because it looks like this girl is giving herself a pep talk before heading out.
“Chloe, we are going to go to the beach. We are going to lay out for a sensible amount of time, 12-15 minutes a side, and then we are going to cover-up. We will go for a dip only after waiting 45 minutes after eating our lunch and before, I said before, drinking anything alcoholic. You know why. We are not going to the Salty Spitoon under any circumstances. We are not letting Lisa drive home for any reason, and we are not letting Lisa out of our sight for many reasons. If we go to a bar, (again, not the Salty Spitoon), you will have 1-2 drinks, you will consume food with them and for God’s sake you will not end the night on the top of the bar screaming ‘I’ll outfuck any broad in the house!!!’-deep breath-OK, we got this. Let’s go to the beach.”
Please tell me there is a Salty Spitoon in Conneticut.
There should be, but the only one I am actually aware of is in Bikini Bottom.
https://spongebob.fandom.com/wiki/The_Salty_Spitoon#:~:text=Latest%20appearance&text=The%20Salty%20Spitoon%20is%20a,episode%20%22No%20Weenies%20Allowed.%22
Oddly specific but agree with it
— B. Walsh
Nailed it….lol
This could be one of the best liveblogs for bad topics in the history of this site.
I feel like I’m on the 8th circle of hell with Twbs.
I am reallllly stoned, and a btl of red deep because I survived another week. Plus this game. Reading the debate reactions is amazing.
One quarteredback in this Arkansas St. game has a 202 Qb rating, and another has a -200 Qb rating. WEIRD. And they’re both on the same team. DOUBLE WEIRD.
THREE COACHING CHANGES LATER, A HANDOFF ON SECOND AND LONG IS STILL, STILL CONSIDERED A GOOD DECISION! FUCK EVERYTHING FOREVER AND EVER!
Mrs. Sharkbait concurs.
Ain’t yous guys known for teh enzone fade?
That’s Eli-Specific.
LOL
she said “beautiful letters”
There’s some NFC East derp
007 channel!
Trump bitching about being treated unfairly, but what if he was treated State Fairly? His hair would be the most unappetizing cotton candy EVER, and dunking his head like a caramel apple would actually create a much more convincing fake tan
The ‘Guess Your Weight’ booth would be his doom.
The “Guess which is real and which is the butter carving” would bring a big crowd though.
Deep-fried MAGA hats would sell out in five minutes.
He wouldn’t be able to hold the hammer to show his (lack of) strength
so I’ve come to the conclusion that my first time watching aquaman on a low quality download was a mistake. the effects are actually really good.
amber heard still deserved to be publicly executed for damaging the credibility of women everywhere, but still, good effects
Thepumaman!
Trump’s handlers must have administered the industrial-grade thorazine tonight.
Wine-in-a-can verdict: Acceptable, the red is a bit sweeter than I like, the sparkling rose isn’t bad, and I like having a single-serving option for sparkling so I don’t have to commit to another 5 drinks when I’m already several drinks in
Dr Mrs banned it after it caused a 3-alarm hangover.
Why the fuck am I watching this?
Evergreen
*If watching debate: Put the game on!
*If watching game: Go read.
because aquaman had better effects than it deserved to.
it’s on HBO
Julie Andrews is in it, ffs
In tonight’s game, we’re going to replace both offensive lines with paper mache players, let’s see if anyone can tell the difference.
Does candy come out when they get hit?
Did 91 want to go to VAR there?
Bourbon. Double Stuf Oreos. 2020 is a shitshow, but God still loves us
Had to make some new law.
HAWT TAEK: I like Oreo Thins better than Oreo Fats.
Your opinion is not wrong. Unless you say something clinically insane, like Thins are better than regular
Note: though not “wrong”, you will still be subject to Lead-Based Re-Education in Mayhem’s America
I like thins better than regulars too.
I’m astounded that they haven’t come out with a chips n’ dip version of oreos where it’s just a cup of sugar lard with the cookies on the side that you can dip or discard as you see fit
They used to sell something like that for kids.
Do not besmirch the Stuf
Those are just Dunkaroos.
The President thinks talking about Biden’s finances and ties to Russia is a winning topic?
Bannon’s “Flood The Zone with Shit” strategy is still being used but it’s collapsed upon itself.
I mean…they thought that releasing messages where Biden is a good dad was a total gotcha
Watching this game has me convinced that Dallas can still make the play-offs.
Sure, but what then?
Oh they get slaughtered in the first round. That wasn’t a compliment towards Dallas.
Play-offs? Maybe. Jerk-offs? For sure.
http://d1466nnw0ex81e.cloudfront.net/n_iv/600/598633.jpg
I would absolutely let Gil Thorp coach the next game instead of McCarthy & Co. Gil would never let the Mudlarks embarrass themselves like the Cowboys did against Arizona.
The rest of the GTD family is watching Big Brother so watching this shit show of a game is a welcome improvement
I might have watched that show if they had implemented anything from “1984” beyond the name
Ya its shit. Its Survivor without the tropical island and lack of food
BRADBERRYCEPTION!!!!!!!!!!!
I love that it’ll actually be 2077 by the time Cyberpunk 2077 comes out. It would have been a novelty if it came out in 2020, but … Eh.
Trump: “COVID-19 is going away.”
Yeah, the county Cincinnati is in is about to go from Red Alert to Purple Alert. Even Star Trek didn’t go that far!
IT’S GONE TO PLAID
Tonight’s Game Plan: turn Wentz’s brain into tapioca pudding
There’s a game plan?
Someone ask this president to spell coronavirus
Or yuenglingvirus
Trump: “Could you use it in a sentence?”
He better not ask for country of origin
Imagine the people of Georgia having to do this in preparation for a Senate run off
sigh
These mics do not seem cut
Its only for the first 2 minutes each for a 15 minute so 11minutes of fuckery per segment.
There should be audience participation to vote on who gets mic time and also who gets funny Snapchat filters applied
DOOK_CEPTION
Eli’s mom said if he colored inside the lines today he could watch the game. but only until 930, then straight to bed
I miss Manningface.
I wish I had an image of fozz to photoshop in. The Red avatar isn’t quite the same.
He’s declaring victory because 2 million people didn’t die?
I mean, he’s “on message”.
Yet.
I owned this as a child. It now goes for $3,000 complete in box on eBay
Can someone divorce you over a purchase like this?
Yes
But it would give me more time to play with it
I’m rooting for a tie, I want the NFC East win/loss records to be as bizarre as possible, and I want them to send a 5 win team to the playoffs
I’ll repeat my desire to have the division winner have a top 10 pick in the next draft.
“On behalf of the voters I ask you to speak one at a time…”
2 minutes for mics? I give it three minutes.
You’re watching!? You are brave, I salute you
I’m at the desktop scanning and printing things for tomorrow and the weekend. The parentals are watching.
found a funny:
Hypnotist: [crying in a corner] why aren’t you getting sleepy!?
3 year old: I’m thirsty
Do they say Donald J Trump instead of Donald Trump because serial killers and assassins need three names, and he’s pretty close to there?
If I wanted to watch geriatrics whipping their dicks around I’d watch lemon party.
Who’s ready for some brain addled musings?
I switched over from Joe Buck to Trump, let’s see how long I last.
This is the most amazing best decision that no one else has ever made ever!
Philadelphia area retailers report increases of battery sales
I wish
this could be tonight’s drunk ebay purchase
You finally really did it. You maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!
…and here the old guys!
Got a half cord of firewood dumped in the driveway today that I had to stack. I earned my marijuana the old fashioned way!
I took Arcega-Whiteside to score tonight at +1800 for $2
Do we need an intervention or a reality show with you and hippo?
Yes.
Tackling 101: The class they all failed.
Led by Dr. Chris Conte
they make it difficult on purpose
they want you to quit
fuck their feelings
keep going