Your “It’s The Great Debate!” Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

HEBER! HARLOW! Who Ya Got? The actual great debate going down tonight is as a football fan, should I dare cast my eyes on the fetid refuse that is an interdivisional NFC East contest? No, you didn’t deserve this. As for the other one tonight-I would pop in if this were an exchange of ideas but we all know that’s a sham of an artifice foisted on dumbsters by a corporate media claiming to be “doing their part” to help the democratic process along. Yeah, that worked in  the 1800’s (debatable) but we’re long past that now. Best to watch large and speedy fuckers knock heads, right?

TO THE GAME!

Giants/Eagles:

-Miles Sanders is out but Sterling Shepard (predicting he would miss time early in the season is the easiest money ever made) and Desean are in.

-Just a reminder that NFC East teams are ‘led’ by these guys-Danny Mistimed Throw, Kyle Allen, Andy Dalton and Carson Wentz. The latter is ranked highest by PFF at 17th and that’s a reason right there to question their metrics. (I find a lot of their stuff quite interesting btw, I just wanted to do a joke thingy)

-The Jizziants have thrown downfield to te Engram exactly once so far this year-at the combine he ran a 4.42 40. Of course the best te’s like Kittle and Kelce have great numbers in comparison so I’ll just mention a doofus like Logan Ryan-he’s been targeted 14 times already.

-The Eagles have owned the Giants for some time now, their last loss occuring back in December of ’16. Of the last 24 times they’ve tussled the Battery Bearers sport a 20-4 mark.

-Detroit Lion castoff Travis Fulgham is on fire with 16 catches the last 2 weeks. Imagine how bad Philly would be at the wr spot had he not come out nowhere.

-The league average for getting a TD when in the red zone this year is at 63.7% and the Giants are pulling up the rear at 25%. FIELD GOALS AHOY, CAPTAIN!

Please join me and Gratliff as we pity-watch the hell out of this mofo.

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Recovery Whiskey

Awfully sporting of Jones to fall down and only get the 4th longest run in Giants franchise history

Guessing the longest was Rooney Mara avoiding Wellington after an all night bender

Doktor Zymm

I mean, I just started trying to jump rope again this week, and I can just barely do 30 seconds without losing my rhythm and missing the rope, but it’s pretty hard to trip yourself up just sprinting. Although it would be super cute if a 3 year old did it

litre_cola

In all seriousness. Use Queens of the Stone Age tracks depending upon what speed you want. You keep time to that, I tried it and worked. Little sister works very well.

Doktor Zymm

I’ll try it out. I know I speed up early on and that both tires me out faster and throws off my rhythm, so music is a solid suggestion, and good to know where to look for a good beat!

litre_cola

Yeah they seem to be in time for me, whether slow or fast. I guess Josh Homme CAN HAVE NO LESS.

Sharkbait

Took Jones over 27.5 rushing yards WOOOOO

litre_cola

Atta boy, had to figure he would be on the run due to the middle of the Eagles line. Only strong part.

Gumbygirl

Not to be confused with the famous Wayne Gallman Sr.

Game Time Decision

What’s worse the butt fumble or Jones trip?

Mr. Ayo

Butt fumble. Also more hilarious.

Sharkbait

Buttfumble forever.

litre_cola

This is just great theatre.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Speaking of nails…
—Jesus

clint greasewood

Please end with a missed field goal.

hippofant

Teammates ain’t even mad.

TheRevanchist

Even when he had no one in front of him…

Gratliff

Fuck, this is a shit game

Beerguyrob

The new buttfumble!

Game Time Decision

Get out of my head

Gumbygirl

Lololol, good one Jones.

Doktor Zymm

LOL QB FALL DOWN

Doktor Zymm

I love that shot of his teammates laughing at him

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I started to say out loud, he’s going to trip isn’t he and then SHO NUFF!

Game Time Decision

He could
Go
All
The
Way

-voice over guy: nope

Horatio Cornblower

Daniel Jones running to the point of exhaustion and falling face first into the ground is just fantastic. Just absolutely the best.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Metaphor for…um…everything

Brocky

holy shit

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Lolololol

litre_cola

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Mr. Ayo

The NFC East!

What a show!

Recovery Whiskey

Hahahahahaha

BrettFavresColonoscopy

She looks like a knockoff JLo

Horatio Cornblower

She looks like an undercover cop trying to persuade some To Catch A Predator pedo to take just two more steps into the house.

Brocky

hey redshirt, you a baragon fan?

https://v.redd.it/662s4g2m8j751

Sharkbait

The NFC East divisional games: Stoppable forces vs. movable objects.

Beerguyrob

Why the hell is Troy talking about pillow fights?

clint greasewood

because they sure the hell wouldn’t be happening during a Biden/Harris administration.

litre_cola

This is just bad football.

/we would have taken it in April.

Horatio Cornblower

Daniel Jones was taken a mere 36 spots ahead of the sort-of-competent Drew Lock.

Horatio Cornblower

Mahomes was drafted 10th in 2017 though; the Giants would have had a hell of a time trading up to get him.

And they would have missed out on the offensive force that is Evan Engram.

Doktor Zymm

Jones kinda has an Eli Manning-style semi-panicked baby face, I think he’s a good fit for the Giants

litre_cola

His alabaster skin and pot makes it work too.

Recovery Whiskey

He’s a dancin fool

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Come on, you know you’re winning this game on a defensive score or not at all.

Game Time Decision

Hoping for 2 safeties for an 11-10 NY win

Viva La Tabula Raza

I wish Aikman and Buck were calling the presidential debate. Hilarity would ensue.

Doktor Zymm

How great would it be if there was a team with players named Dennis Moore, Lupin, Rich Poor, and Concord

herodotus450

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Recovery Whiskey

They’d win the Python Division

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You know that (likely fake) ben franklin quote that beer is proof God loves us and wants us to be happy? This game is proof the devil is in control and that we’re all suckers

Viva La Tabula Raza

So is the current timeline through which we are living.

Doktor Zymm

There’s WAY more proof than this

Redshirt

That quote is false. He probably said women or a word for vaginas is the proof.

Viva La Tabula Raza

over to the debate: I haven’t seen anything that would make me switch my vote. (TOO LATE I ALREADY VOTED). The facial expressions are priceless though.

Game Time Decision

They should do some bad lip reading for them, but I’d pity the people that need to watch it 1000 times. Entertain me damn it

Senor Weaselo

Oh hey, you can click on the “New Rosters” and “New Teams” bits on the Marbula One reveal page!
https://jellesmarbleruns.com/teams/

Mr. Ayo

lol. Dammit!

Senor Weaselo

I don’t know what’s worse, the NFC East or that my team would lose to all the teams in the NFC East.

Redshirt

Knowing my team, we’ll probably tie to all the teams in the NFC East.

Game Time Decision

That would be awesome

Brocky

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Brick Meathook

What weird country is this from? Those stray tiles on the upper wall, that strange brand-name detergent and underwear . . .

Brick Meathook

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Senor Weaselo

I’m gonna guess somewhere in eastern Europe?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Polly Poland?

Horatio Cornblower

Paic may be from France. Which makes sense, because you can very much see this woman’s underpants.

https://soapbubble.fandom.com/wiki/Detergent#Outside_the_USA

Brocky

her IG says she’s French

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

How the bleeding fuck is it only halftime?

WCS

2020 is weird, man.

litre_cola

BATTLE FOR 1ST PLACE BABY!

Game Time Decision

This game has been a struggle. A struggle to watch and enjoy

Senor Weaselo

Okay, paperwork scanned and/or printed. What’d I miss? I’d say “competent football,” but I’m asking what I missed, not this entire evening.

Doktor Zymm

What’s the shortest field goal miss you’ve ever seen?

Senor Weaselo

It was a missed XP, but the River City Relay?

Doktor Zymm

Not quite that bad, but under 30 yds

Doktor Zymm

The NFC DecEast

Game Time Decision

The NFC milliEast

Sharkbait

Thats the NFC East in a nutshell.

Horatio Cornblower

The Better Choice Play of the Half should be someone changing the channel to anything but the debate.

Doktor Zymm

“Mr…. Shanklor is it? Your table is ready”

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

PRAISE SHANKH’LOR!

Gumbygirl

Jesus Christ, that was a chip shot.