Just. Fuck’s sake. Start the new year with a home loss to David Moyes. Fuck everything.
Anyway, the show must go on. Bielsa against Mourinho will make for quite the contrast in style/philosophy (7:30, NBCSN). Not setting my alarm, but as an old…I know I will be awake for it. Go Leeds go!
Things get a little patchy after that. Knifey and Palace (10:00, NBCSN)? Yikes. Followed by a meek spotlighter between Wolves and Trash Birds (12:30, NBC). Good thing I have to be watching JV ball instead (see below).
Arsenal will be laying waste to Fat Sam’s Brummies (3:00, Peacock) to end your Lesser day, and the thought already is making me feel better. But not much better.
JV Jaguras Bowl – NC State (+2.5) v. Kenfucky @ Duuuuuuuvvvvvvaaaalllll (Noon, ESPN)
I feel good(ish) about this one, so bet the farm on a Wildcat win by double digits. You’d think the SEC squadron would have MOAR guys sitting this out for Draft prep. But you’d be wrong.
Overpriced, Tacky Steakhouse Bowl – Ole Miss (+9.5) v. Indiana @ The MRSA Ship (12:30, ABC)
This looks like quite the mismatch on paper, as Indiana looked fairly competent this season. And are not coached by Lane Kiffin. Still, Johnny Reb knows wut 2 due when a bunch of yankees come a callin!
Empty Party Bowl – Oregon (+5) v. Iowa State @ QardsVille (4:00, ESPN)
That’s PAC-12 Champions Quack Attack, despite not even winning their division. Cornpone State seem like the kind of squadron that will still be hung over from losing their conference title game, and thus shitting the pitch. Then again, I’m wrong an awful lot.
Don’t let the bumper ads fool you, there is NO GODDAMNED NIGHT GAME.
So some Armenian Alabamian is gonna be Longhorn Head Coach.
Just keep him away from 4th and/or 6th Street
They have bars in Austin?
Well, all the bars are probably open in College Station, anyway. Off to the Dixie Chicken….
Overpriced? You need to go down to New Deal Used Cars, where they blow the shit out of high prices:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqHZWdFVyyQ
“Just. Fuck’s sake. Start the new year with a home loss to David Moyes. Fuck everything.”
Well, no need to do a welfare check on Hippo after that game … Oh well, I hope the rest of y’all are havinga more pleasant stretch of lesser footy than our proud fookin’ Evertonian
Well, he did choose THAT team, so didn’t he bring it on himself?
As an Arsenal supporter, I don’t think that one chooses his or her team… that affiliation is decreed by whichever malevolent deity’s stuck on the tier 1 ‘fucking over humanity” desk 😀
Michigan is extending Har-Har through 2026
https://twitter.com/BruceFeldmanCFB/status/1345490750063083520
Wasn’t rewarding incompetence more of a 2020 thing? I had hoped things would be better in 2021.
Well Mrs. Cola and I did get promoted in 2020 so this checks out.
Eh, I thought that you two got promoted because somehow all of your immediate superiours got BOFH’d in increasingly improbable accidents without any (surviving) eyewitnesses?
Cousinfuckers-Early Settlers is incredible.
RIP Floyd Little. Hell of a player.
Fun fact that Scotchy will get annoyed by: This is the 6969th post published on DFO!
Nice!
/Just adding to the annoyance
Nice
Double plus good!!!
—Gronk
I like to think that Smokey got out of rehab, joined the police academy, graduated, and then joined the LAPD. He would later solve crimes with a Snoopy-looking Hong Kong inspector.
Think I am going to do dry January. This obviously will be followed by “look the fuck out liver” February.
I will drink twice as much to make up for you.
I shouldn’t get mad at people for doing dry January, but I do.
2 days in and I have regrets*.
*3 beers just sitting in the beer fridge, crying out to join their friends.
Patience, my pretties, patience.
/oh, yeah, this is gonna go just great.
Spam what’s your name on the Untappd?
Son of Spam, same as here.
At least I hope so, because I just friended someone with that name, and if it’s not our Spam that poor bastard is in for a surprise.
Friday movie marathon on USA Network!
No cussing? Is it still worth it?
I know. That’s the problem. The fun part is I’ve seen all 3 so many times that I can fill in the blanks.
So it’s a silent film?
That tune that you thought you understood when you first heard it and realized later it was about something else.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuMvkNDuOuQ&ab_channel=ivatrinka
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0v-C_KcdoBs&ab_channel=LeonardoNove
LOL
Lotta bad beats…
https://twitter.com/StanfordSteve82/status/1345267000277430272
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLKIkmiLCzM&ab_channel=MergeRecordsonYoutube
My new go-to coffee place is called “Booskerdoo”.
Canadia will probably be letting us dirty Americans back in by 2022, right? I want to go hang out in the middle of nowhere, sit in a boat, and look at bears
https://www.grizzlytour.com/grizzly-bear-sanctuary
I know a few bars you could go and look at bears. -Buddy C
Not as many places to do that now in Chicago, sadly
https://blockclubchicago.org/2020/07/02/little-jims-the-first-and-oldest-gay-bar-in-boystown-closing-for-good/
often described as the gay “Cheers”
[gay couple walks in holding hands]
Bar Crowd: “NORM!-alized.”
Wasn’t there an episode of Cheers where it suddenly got a reputation as a gay bar? I think it was because Sam praised a former teammate’s memoir (in which the teammate came out) without having read it. Or maybe that was a different episode. I remember being confused by the term “fern bar.”
Football talking guy: “there’s not a player who’s improved his draft stock more than Justin Fields.”
Oh you mean going from #3 to #2?
Maybe the Bears can trade up to get him.
first off: How dare you!
but yeah sounds like us
Worked for Trubisky!
“In other ‘Top Heavy’ News:
The first line of the Jr German hockey men’s team (featuring Tim Stutzle) is responsible for 13 of their 15 goals at this tournament.”
-Christina Hendricks, sports reporter
Hah! TAKE THAT, PROPRIATARY KFX FORMAT!
calibre crew represent
One fucking job Wolves. One fucking job. Fuck.
Hey Sharky, just saw “The Neopolitan Sewer” on twitter.
2 oz of Vodka
Cold tap water
2 tablespoons of olive oil
Rocks
Just…why?
The sad part is, there’s no way that’s anywhere near the first horrible idea of 2021
Surprised that you would drink something with an ingredient with such a low smoke point…
Tom Herman “‘s Head” fired at Texas
15 million buyout and he never lost a Bowl game? Huh…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79kSk5ZDSCI&ab_channel=DavidByrne
I’m not lost but I don’t know where I am
/talk about a line that stuck with me for far too many years…
at this point I just need to make an account with the user name “god” and just have every account be: fuck you brocky.
side note: after typing “fuck you” my keyboard now prompts my username
That’s fucking funny.
“Side note: After typing ‘fuck you’ my keyboard now prompts ‘broccoli’.”
-George H.W. Bush
/doing The Business in northern Ontario
Me: [back on the 30th, via text] “Hey, have your orders into me by noon on the 2nd, because I’m going out to camp and there’s no cell service out there.”
Customer: [sends order at 11:30am via text today] “Please confirm you’ve received this-I’m headed out to camp and there’s no service out there.”
I would reply “I didn’t get this, because I was out at camp and there’s no service out there.”
IU football:
because fuck you brocky
Mrs. Sharkbait is trying to organize a simultaneous viewing of the nutcracker with her 85 year old grandmother and other non technical people.
This is painful to watch
Or hilarious
GO RAT KING!!!!!
Sad that there’s no live blog of this
Working on de-DRMing all my Kindle books. Such a pain in the buttocks
Bet on good things for the London Jaguras today.
Knifey lost ✅
Seagulls losing ✅
Come on Gunners beat the Westest Brom!
I do not approve of the last two of those
Looks like the damn Seagulls are at it again.
I can’t down vote myself. Fuck.
Live update: I just used the shared office bathroom that I usually avoid using and finished my business only to realize the flusher would not work. I would normally MacGyver the thing myself but it’s one of these automatic doohickies and the button won’t register a flush. So now I am in the unfortunate position of being the only person here in my department and having to alert our facilities team to come fix it. Gonna have to feign ignorance on who last made in it before I found the problem.
If was like that when you got there. Bunch of savages in this office that break shit and don’t tell anyone!
“Hey man, it’s Bloody Lethal up on 4. I…no, it’s an internet name, don’t worry about it. Anyway, hey, hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I just walked into the bathroom and you wouldn’t believe what some jerk left in there. Me? No, no, I just went into the stall to get some paper to blow my nose, that’s when I saw it.”
“Actually I didn’t even see it myself. I heard it from another guy. Rumor has it. You ever listen to Adele? Me neither.”
Saints entire rb unit out tomorrow? 2021 is really delivering early!
You’ve heard about Taysom Hill at TE but have you heard about Taysom hill at RB?
The song that plays in Payton’s head whenever Taysom’s name is mentioned-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpqqjU7u5Yc&ab_channel=beegees
This is the time on Sprockets where Hippo turns off the TV and reads. Fuck off, 2021.
i had this gif ready a week ago, but i forgot to, IU points
I’ve* got one from G.L.O.W. of her, but it’s against the rules.
*The internet. It’s like a 3 second search.
German Power Play!*
*does not involve the burning of the Reichstag
GO INDIANA THEN!!!!
I’ve heard plenty of great things about all the mesa’s in Indiana…
Pochettino to PSG. Muy interesante.
Specially if you believe the rumors about Messi to PSG.
I’m not convinced people actually buy diet doctors pepper.
like seriously so few people go out of their way to drink dr pepper in the fist place
like a niche market to an already niche product?
The thing I learned listening to gum/candy bar/soda-y pop sales reps is that they see the whole market as a pie and they just want that new product to get a sliver because that means more revenue. That’s why you see something like “Salted Caramel KitKat” come out of nowhere and then quickly disappear. And then it’s on the next thing.
/the thought that they’re bastardizing their own sales or transferring existing sales to another product within their category is completely lost on them
I’ve bought it. (Or Dr. Pepper 10.) Maybe about once a year or so.
I don’t drink much soda these days, but it’s kind of a no-brainer for me to eliminate the unnecessary calories when I do. And while I don’t love Dr. Pepper, it’s nice every now and then, so keeping a 12-pack in the cupboard is no big deal.
The great thing about Diet Dr. Pepper is that it doesn’t taste that much different than the regular one.
I try to stay away from soda, but when I do it’s Mexican Coca-Cola or bust. I will buy an RC Cola if I see one, which I think is some psychological trigger from childhood when they had all the baseball players on the can. RC just really isn’t that good.
JR Hockey Tourney Update:
Germany is losing to Russia, again.
/watching because Sens top pick, Tim Stutzle, is playing
//10 points in 4 games!
This is the most Canadia post in DFO history
I’d like to take this opportunity to remind you that IU held OSU to a lower score and had more points than clemson did
cool hook rug
I would TOTES buy that!!
Goth Girl 1806
oh, and we gon’ lose. Lose by a FUCKTON.
this year I have extra reason to root against kentucky.
pours one out for twbs.
(don’t tell him its non-alcoholic or else he’ll rise from the grave to beat my ass)
found a funny:
Imagining a reverse Beauty & The Beast where a witch punishes a guy by turning all of his perfectly good household appliances into human beings
that joke did not go where i was expecting.
the usually set up i hear is:
can you imagine if the genders were reversed? a well meaning and attractive man is forced into servitude by a mean spirited broad who looks liker her mom shagged half the zoo? ain’t selling tickets to that.
…. at least assuming the zoo part is implied
gentlemen, why is it so bright outside right now?
Y’all really do have a consistent excellent cheer squad, from a pervert’s POV.
yep. half of the women met in college weren’t from Indiana, so I’m assuming it carried over to the supporters
Steve King really loves the University of Iowa logo because it validates his belief that Jews only count as 3/7 of a person.
Morning Rockin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXaRyNgIMCw
Ooh, maybe I’ll see what Amazon music has on tap for Fatboy Slim. It’s good music to work out to.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHHHRtRQtZA&ab_channel=courtneybarnett
I was supposed to see Courtney Barnett open for the National (you deal with it to see her) at Prospect Park and we show up to a line running about 30 blocks down the edge of the park. Whatever company it was running the show had broken the scanners for tickets and they weren’t admitting anyone. She and the band played to an empty venue essentially and we were all standing outside. I was bummed. Then they let us all in for the National anyway with the scanners still on the fritz. I hated that.
> National (you deal with it to see her)
Have you got some kind of beef with the National?
“Yeah, but barely anything. Two or three steer carcasses, tops.” – Andy Reid, thinking we are referring to the National Beef Trust
Seconded, I love those guys. Then again, am also a hipster doofus (in music anyway)
I mostly like the National but unfortunately not an entire concerts worthof the National.
They put on my favorite concert of 2007!
https://popdose.com/silvery-silvery-citybank-lights-st-vincent-and-the-national-the-wiltern/
Safe to say that 2007 was probably a better year to see them live than 2019? Especially with St. Vincent.
NC State is down FOUR defensive starters. Gulp.
So you are saying bet against them and take the over?
yes, but NO CHEERING for it on here!!
Dammit, have a parlay that needs 1 m0re win, but its on Wednesday???? How can I wait that long??
Bet like you won it until then?
The Spirit of GAMBLOR compels this +1!
Is it us and Litre the ones usually praying at the altar of GAMBLOR?
This jam never misses.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cl3B_FTDKD0&ab_channel=DavidByrne
One of the finest “while driving” sing-alongs.
The whole album is “party time”.
WHAR RECECCA LOWE?
she gets holidays and mid-weeks off sometimes
2 day hangover. Great.
welcome to old, it ain’t get no better
Being an old dad is not helping!!
I know I absolutely could not imagine starting over at this age. Thank fuck I have been spayed or neutered.
Day 2 is when I start to believe I am in a simulation.
Just means sad day will be tomorrow.
Ouch. Last RedZone day of the year. NOT COOL, lingering depression.
The most recent simulation schedule has all Sundays as sad day for the Giants.
Think sharky has a drinky for that