Good day, imaginary peoples. It’s REALLY here. The day we gets a TRIPLEHEADER of Wild Card, Bitches! action. And it happens again tomorrow! We just needed a world-wide pandemic to make it real. [slaps #NuAIDS on the ass, HARD!]
But first, we have a wacky Lesser Morning, with pretty much every match on ESPN+. I mean, nobody really gives a fuck about anything but Everton hosting Rotherham (7:00, fuck a duck, this gon’ be a long day), but still. Clubhouse favoUrites like Mighty Whitey (away to QPR, 10:00) and Arsenal (home to Barcodes at 12:30 – tough draw, that) get they swerve on.
With nobody in the stands, anywhere. That “2,000 maximum” phase was short-lived, indeed. Really sucks for some of these minnows, for whom this would have made their entire budget (like Marine hosting Spurs tomorrow – would have been the biggest day in club history). But alas. At least we have something on TV at all, to keep people sane, and not, I dunno, trying the most lame-assed palace coup in history.
Eat shit, Traitors. Hippo hopes you all hang. You included, Sen. Hawley. Chickenshit motherfucker.
Indianapolis (+6.5) at Buffalo (1:05, CBS)
That sound you hear in the distance? Tis Rev. Mayhem’s anxious colon. What a day for the table smashers of WNY, led by Brokeback QB. Yes, the strapping young Wyoming product who simultaneously found both accuracy (even deep ball varietal – PHRASING) and the ability to read defenses. Hey, we are all near impossible to surprise by now. Just go with it, and enjoy the ride. Stefon Diggs taking the primary role has allowed Bleeding Kansas to run free behind rebel enemy lines, and even Cole Beasley has a productive role. They still don’t give Devin Singletary enough touches, but makes very little sense for a dumb ass like me to nitpick a 13-3 squadron’s strategery.
Now, before you bet the inheritance on BUF, mind that the Humps have a pretty good pass defense. Some of the smarter analytical folk have wondered whether same can really hold up against ELITE opposition. And as strange as it may seem, that is indeed the state of the Bills’ passing attack. Not much from the TE position, though. Will that allow the Indy secondary to properly bend without breaking? I doubt it, but that’s their chance.
On the other side, you have Indy’s not-so-secret-weapon, in perhaps the League’s bestest offensive line. People talk about defenses winning championships, but that’s just ’cause it’s harder for the layman to fully appreciate dominant OL play. Yes, it was against the Jags, but in Week 17, Jonathan Taylor busted out for 250+. He won’t get that much today, but I’d still look for him to get 30+ touches, and if he creeps over the 150 mark? We just might can has game.
Time of possession will also be critical, or that Humps pass D will fade in the second half. And you really, really don’t want Old Man Rivers trying to go all Air Raid out there. Outdoors. In Buffalo, NY. In fucking January conditions. The Laserface rosary beads will be all about a Game Management Scenario, buhlee DAT!
Opium-tinged Predicion – Buffalo 35, Indianapolis 20
+ several cracked ribs and concussions
DOINK DOESN’T SLEEP IN ON SATURDAYS!
Shanklor has reared his ugly head.
2-0 … NEVER ANY DOUBT
… how did that sneak in here
How many delay of games do they get.
Rivers can go ahead and throw a pick here, I won’t be mad!
He is saving it for towards the end of the 4th quarter when it will be the most back breaking. Like ususal.
“I’ve consistently told him he’s welcome to put it where it doesn’t belong, but he won’t listen.” – Tiffany Rivers
an abomination against teh LAWD
Reminder: AWS helps generate NextGen stats. They also provide hosting services to Parler.
Reminder – most of the US economy (past and present) has been based on rather … iffy and flexible morals (also, what’s parler/ the new tik-tok or wut?)
Twitter, but MOAR openly raycess
Ah, that’s why I heard it somewhere on the news, I just assumed it’s just the latest annoying fad app that RTD was railing against. My point still stands, though with not nearly as much conviction as before
Jack Doyle is still playing?
ish?
His “Jack Doyle, PI” pilot wasn’t picked up by CBS, so yeah.
“You’re still in your 30’s, why the hell are you pitching this to us?”
-CBS Execs
“Because I saw you’re still funding STD and Lower Decks on All Ass, so I know ya don’t have class or standards!”
Did Coors Light just throw some shade at the Football Hall of Fame?
Sí
More like “fired it out of a cannon”, but yes.
Good day, gentlemen and others. I am greatly enjoying this tight contest. The takeover of the South African Republic will have to be put off for another day.
such an honoUr, good sir!
Sir, there is a school in my hometown named after you.
My word! That institution must be attended by some of the brightest Anglo-Saxon students in the land. I should hope to visit it one day.
It’s in the hood, in Winnipeg, so you are a bit off the mark there sir.
Oh god… there are Irish in that school, OHNOES
Drat. And here I thought Canada was a civilized land.
Cecil would you prefer an image of Cecil Rhodes or Sideshow Cecil as your avatar?
While I do admire the demeanoUr of Sideshow Cecil, my image will suffice for an avatar.
Look for a trick play involving Bills GoGo Gadget wr MacKenzie in the 2nd half. Hopefully it won’t be an end-around.
I hope Indy drafts a QB in the first round, just to know that someone will be throwing a tantrum.
It looks as though the Colts are trying to take Diggs/Beasley out of the passing game and are relatively successful. “If you’re going to beat us you’re going to have to do it with Gabe Davis and Dallas Knox.*
*”Don’t mind if we do!”
-Gabe and Dallas
https://youtu.be/2HKTx5WFcs0
YOU GET A THUMB IN YOUR ASS!! AND YOU GET A THUMB IN YOUR ASS!!…
Just a brilliant sequence for the Bills. Wow.
I really liked the draw there. Been throwing it all drive, but in good field position with 2 TOs, and caught the Colts off-guard.
Seemed like an ‘all or nothing’ play but Daboll knows what he’s doing-playing against expectations.
So nice, they did it twice!
These are two of the more analytics-friendly coaches, and it shows. I am enjoying the change from The Book.
Couldn’t agree more.
#SpiritAnimal
And they gave the Colts the ball to start the game, had the last possession of the 1st half and have the ball to start the second. SMRT!
Throw it!
Fuck, that’s a ballsy call!
Good jerb, zebras!
That didn’t look like a catch to me.
Not a catch
Transaction mode engaged
Incomplete.
VAR not kind to the Humps, but think I agree.
/Broncos guy cries into his barrel
Coaches playin’ chess out there.
BREAKING: That’s My Raiders! have just sued the Indianapolis Colts for copyright infringement.
C’mon Diggsdown!
Gabriel Davis is single-handedly going to prolong this game by an hour.
Again, he’s in
Beasley directing the other wr’s as to where to line up during the hurry up…
That toe looks like he’s barely in.
I could see green.
“No, it was grey”
–Witness testimony against Ben R.
Roxy Roller always sees green, amirite?
[cums]
-Rex Ryan
In or out, still impressive.
Also how I felt about losing my virginity
“Oh, now he can’t put it on target!”
Rivers, T.
I think I just saw Rivers overthrow a wr.
Hahahaha!
here’s why that makes sense – BUF won’t be aggressive on offense from inside the 5. Expected points total is likely about the same. Was a free shot at 7.
Going for it was the right call. Now Buffalo has to go the full length of the field.
Nice stop there.
Might have saved the game for BUF right there.
Queen Latifah in ‘The Equalizer, But With Boobs’
Jinkes!
Yes, please.
Fat Humps sitting on the Mafia’s head
#LostInTehFolds
D. Leonard slapping some ass! HARD!
Bills can’t see TheForest for the trees.
“The Pro Bowl may look a little different this year”
I promise you I will not notice the difference.
There’s going to be a Pro Bowl?
.
That’s a big lock.
-Rapunzel’s suitor
Go Bills, i think
Rivers gonna penetrate this Bills secondary
This just in: J. Taylor? Bad motherfucker.
And slippery
And (not Tractorcito strong, but) strong!
Taylor has at least one trait of a great back in that he always falls forward.