So, good news and bad news.  First is that we’re still going to have a weekly recap of the bestestestest comments by you fine folk.  The bad news is that the new authoUr of this series is GTD and his warped sense of, well, everything will be pickering the comments.  I’m taking over to free Balls up to cover the AFLW .  As a reminder he is doing another Tipping Contest for AFLW! Click the link below and join us! You may just be the recipient of a gently-used Fleshlight!*

https://mobile.footytips.com.au/competitions/?competitionId=454009&ff=ladders

* Note that gently-used** item may or not actually get delivered and/or may or may not travel the world before getting to you.

** Pocket dildo now available*** for an extra charge.

***while supplies last

Y’all bring the funny and seriouUs and feels and everything in between each and every week.  Queue clip of JJ Watt yelling “NO DAYS OFF”.

As for the games yesterday, I did not see any of the first game and as a Packer fan it’s probably for the best.  I saw most of the second game and do not see how anyone can keep up with the Chiefs.  They all seem to have an extra gear and have so many weapons that you can’t cover them all.

As a reminder, this post will cover comments made up to and through the Saturday Night Open Thread. Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.  Tho this week there is a Sunday thread comment that I included.  I also love the whole meta thing when including comments from the previous weeks’ best comments thread.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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Phil Rivers has gone to the “The Big Nursery Ward In The Sky” NFL-wise. Rumor has it there are babies as far as the eye can see and you can just grab them up off the ground.
scotchnaut

This is the first time in his life that Rivers has pulled out of anything.
Dunstan

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“Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome Garth Brooks to torpedo his career.”

Horatio Cornblower

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Guys, I’m starting to think Trump isn’t going to get a second term after all. I can’t believe that @MAGAPatriotQPope misled us!
Dunstan

Pfft, I still can’t believe he had a first term XD
bk109

– Melania Trump, glaring at her abortionist
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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2015 Redshirt: “I know the Democrats and the Liberal Media they’re happy they won but its no reason to so smug about it. Its not befitting the office of President of the United StaAAAAAAA…”

(2020 Redshirt proceeds to kick as 2015 Redshirt’s ass to the shock of the other Redshirts except for the 2016-2019 Redshirts who are cheering him on)
Redshirt

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January 20, 2021 7:45 pm
I really like these Wednesday AEW posts as long as we don’t have to talk about wrestling.
Brick Meathook

I really like the Chicago Bears, as long as I don’t have to watch the Chicago Bears.

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The DFO Wikipedia page could consist of two bullets:
* Waaaay ahead of the Washington Football Team curve
* over 200 tags with “fuck”
Don T

* Roger Goodell is a National Disgrace
Mr. Ayo

Definitely needs a whole sub section on the DFO Religious Deities. That way when some middle school student in 20 years is doing a report on religion they come across Shank’lor and Bleergh.
clint greasewood

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This “Press Secretary” is informing everyone about what’s happening today in the White House and not lying or making enemies with the reporters. NoOb.
SonOfSpam

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Smilin’ Joe had a busy day after all the pomp and circumstance.
Day One executive orders:
Rejoined the Paris climate accord
End the travel ban on predominantly Muslim and African countries
Federal mask mandate and social distancing in federal buildings
Restored the WHO membership and sent Fauci to its board meeting tomorrow
New Covid-45 Coordinator appointed
Revoked effort to exclude noncitizens from the Census (probably the most cherished of all Trump’s actions, as it affects redistricting)
Dreamers protected from deportation
Wall construction halted
Affirmative action hiring restored to federal agencies
Diversity data gathering working group appointed
Ended the legality of gender discrimination in federal govt practices
1776 Commission canceled
Rescinded rollbacks to fuel emission standards
Moratorium on oil and gas leases in the Arctic Refuge
Canceled Keystone pipeline
Greenhouse gasses data working group
Federal moratorium on evictions and foreclosures extended
Student loan payments paused til fall
Ethics rules and ethics pledge for all WH staff

I’m going to enjoy this optimism for as long as it lasts.
Viva La Tabula Raza

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So how was Five Fingered Death Punch?
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Fauci is a released hostage who wasn’t sure he would ever make it out during the time of his captivity.
montythisseemsstrangetome

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Hola DFO.

My mind got blown earlier this week when I got my Vanguard statement.

It told me I’d be gettin’ x,xxx monthly dollars in my pocket if I retire at 62.

Social said they would pay me 2,3xx per month.

I’ve also got an IRA that’s doing really well.

Maybe I can retire in 2 1/2 years on the beach in Portugal and live at a third less cost.

I ain’t seeing a downside.
yeah right

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On the second episode of the fifth season of The Magicians, the first spoken words of the show are “Where am I? Where are my pants?”

I didn’t think it was possible for me to like this show any more, but here we are.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Fauci just now said to Maddow “I’ve been wanting to come on your show for months and months” and I said “Gross” and my daughter said “Can you not?” and I’m officially beginning my weekend.
SonOfSpam

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The original Japanese Iron Chef is the best cooking show ever. Its American copy pales in comparison. Watch Japanese Iron Chef.

Brick Meathook

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Steelers search for OC continues with former Browns HC Hue Jackson
I thought someone was just trolling utree on twatter, but if this happens, I’ll legit be worried about him popping an aneurysm
bk109

Meanwhile the Seahawks interviewed Adam Gase for their OC position.
Mr. Ayo

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Today’s my birthday! Fuck off.
Brick Meathook

[Happy belated birthday Brick]

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Today I am preparing a pan seared rib eye with a red wine reduction thickened with a peppercorn, thyme compound butter. Served with a baked potato and spinach salad alongside a nice Napa Valley pinot noir.

Dinner is at 4.
yeah right

Sounds way better than the Vomelette + Spinach Mushrooms & Cream Sauce Fettuccine
+ mystery MRE (it’s so old, we can’t see the menu number on it or … date of production) I’m eating after a bet with dad and dad-in-law ??

And yes, I have to eat every bite that isn’t obviously rancid/”gone off”
bk109

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I didn’t care much for Larry King, but I’ve got to give him credit for one thing: motherfucker openly admitted that he didn’t prepare for interviews, and actually convinced some people it was a thoughtful decision so that he would be at the same level of ignorance as many of his viewers.

Passing your laziness off as wisdom? That’s good (non) hustle!
Dunstan

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Two things I came across while reading about Hank Aaron

-if all his homers were taken away he’d still have 3,000 hits (3,016)

-he had 130 plate appearances vs Sandy Koufax and he batted .362. Opponents BA vs Koufax was .202.
scotchnaut

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Btw, new puppies update – wifey and the kiddos love ’em so much, they tend to hide in the barn with me XD
Also naming update – I decided on Willy (after Willy Coppens) and Wal (for Wallonia) for the pups
bk109

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Nothing much, just got back the grocery. There’s a Buffalo Wild Wings in the adjacent parking lot and the lot is full for the UFC McGregor fight. A lot of Trump flagged trucks.
clint greasewood

Seems like it might be fun to chain them all together and see if they can cooperate to remove the chain
Doktor Zymm

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So, just as a note, hating blue cheese and similar is actually a genetic thing, just like those poor souls who can’t enjoy cilantro.
Doktor Zymm

Ah, yes, the great terrible green soap.
Mr. Ayo

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Ready to see Hippo and Litre unite against me? I recently purchased pear and blue cheese ice cream and think it’s fucking tasty.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

We’ve had the Cookie Wars. I think you just ignited the Cheese Wars.
ballsofsteelandfury

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OK, so this was quite a few years ago. I had started reading KSK but not commenting there.

I’m awoken on a Wednesday morning by the phone ringing. I am VERY hung over. I had been drinking tequila at a neighborhood bar the night before with some friends visiting from out of town. I pick up the phone and it’s one of them.

“Hey, how are you feeling? You had a rough night!”
Me: Eh, a little rough. But I can take the morning off work, so it’s good.
“Hope you didn’t lose Joe Buck’s autograph.”
What?
“What, you don’t remember getting his autograph and talking to him for all that time about how much you liked him?”
(a feeling of dread overwhelms me. I recall that Joe Buck was indeed at the bar that night. He was in town for the baseball playoffs presumably. But, did I really do that?)
…

I fake my way through the rest of the conversation and hang up.

Slowly, over the next half hour, I piece the night together and remember that yes, Buck was there. However, all I did was call out, “hey Joe” just to make sure it was him. I never actually went up to talk to him and certainly didn’t ask for his autograph. But my friend from out of town fucked with me pretty good on the phone that morning.
Dunstan

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.  Stay safe out there.

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