Let’s wipe the slate clean the way Andy Reid uses lettuce as a napkin to wipe his mouth during a meal and then eats said napkin/lettuce afterwards. Look, it’s a form of recycling and he’s trying his best.
Well, all of our pleading, begging, crying, complaining, caterwauling, gnashing and swearing has come down to this-the likeable dude vs. the mangy old faux-vitamin seller. Damn, by the time we get to the second half it’ll be past Brady’s bedtime! But anyway, you dropped by here to interact with the lovely folks that inhabit the site, make dick jokes and say goodbye to another footed ball season so I’ll just throw some giblets out there (Petey King calls them nuggets and nuggets are gross) and we’ll be on our way.
TO THE (LAST) GAME!
Chiefs/Bucs:
-Shoutout to K.C.’s DC who goes by the name of “Spags”. He was the one who devised the Giants extraordinary upset of the undefeated ’07 Pats (remember, Tabula?) with heavy pressure from the defensive line. This time around he doesn’t have talent there but he does have some in the secondary. So he’s come up with a dime package that uses 6(!) db’s. He runs that D 44% of the time as opposed to the league average of 10%. Wherever the playmakers are, he plays to their strengths and finds a way to be effective. Much respect to that fella.
-Bucs dl Vita Vea was one of only two interior lineman that had a 20%+ pass rush success rate before he went down with an injury. This matters because…
-After losing Eric Fisher in the AFC Title Game, the Chiefs now only have one offensive lineman that they started week 1 with. (center Austin Reiter)
-Cb Carlton Davis had a nightmare last evening. It involved re-living his week 12 debacle vs. Tyreek Hill when he gave up 203 yards receiving in a little over 15 minutes. Since Mahomes became the starter Hill has 19 TD’s on passes thrown over 20 yards-that’s 6 more than the next guy.
-A difference maker goes by the name of Honey Badger-during the win over the Browns he allowed -5 yards receiving and an interception on 6 targets.
-The Bucs D has allowed the least number of rushing TD’s in the entire league at a measly 12. Dalvin Cook was the only dude that ran for over 100 yards against them and he barely accomplished it at 102.
-In all of Patty’s playoff games he has 21 TD’s combined and only 2 INT’s. Tom Brady sucks dog’s balls on a regular basis.
Scritch that itch in the comments.
That’s just a miss.
Hardman looked like he pulled up/lost it in the lights there.
Pffft, more like Malleableman, AMIRITE?
Don’t give Marvel any ideas.
It looked like two different routes. Hardman was running a go, and was looking inside, but Mahomes threw a corner over Hardman’s outside shoulder. Not sure who was wrong there… Mahomes might have rushed the throw, Hardman might just not have hit his break yet, or something else.
Had him
Got heem!
Mellowest 10 yard scramble for a first
yikes, KC needs to see what happened on that play. No open shots on MaHomey
Yeah they gotta know a Suh ankle stomp is in the playbook
YASSS MAHOMES
“Devin White his that receiver like Britt Reid hitting a parked car!” is something that you’re probably not going to hear from Romo and Nantz tonight, but which I will almost certainly beat into the ground like Britt Reid hitting a 5-year-old with his car.
Which is a thing he, Britt Reid, did.
What will those zany Reid kids get up to next?!
Pringle! Betcha can’t eat just one (tackle)
Howdy, folks. Blooming onion is in the fryer, the five layer dip is made, and the wings go in the oven in 20 minutes. I am logged the fuck in. Let’s do this.
Salute the blooming onion
I read that as ‘five lawyer dip’
DFO has at least five lawyers, right?
It’s more like 20. We’re lawyered right the fuck up!
Yeah, we rival the old Deadspin comment section for Attorney Density
Now I really don’t want to know what’s in that dip
On a slow day.
Please leave my firm out of this.
Not a cheap flag? Huzzah! Though it’s still early.
Now it’s over.
Did anyone think to get the Nibbles, DFO server hamster, a redbull just before kick off?
I slipped him a couple speedballs. If we go out at halftime we might need a new hamster
“I’ve got a good supplier.” — Richard Gere
/Looks in couch cushions
They can’t be more than, what, $5?
I checked last week he seemed fine
https://imgur.com/m0z9Nv6
Over/under on when I decide to mute Nantz and Romo’s “Quarterback Worship Hour” is 9.5 minutes.
Well, now that i’ve seen that commercial for the super bowl broadcast during the super bowl I guess i’m convinced to watch the super bowl…hrm
This logo is still so much failure, fucking LiV
https://youtu.be/O5zGkqAWsWE
Obligatory, but Fuck Tom Brady
Harumph!
My favorite thing about seeing football live is seeing the difference between the big dudes and the little dudes. From that coin toss, you can see that Kelce is a big dude and David is a little dude
Wifey asked what time the game started. I said 6:00, but I think it’ll be more like 6:45. What do I win?
GAME OVER
Tossed that coin like a girl.
Can a poet sellout?
The woods are beautiful
Dark & Deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to to before I sleep
On my Serta mattress
R. Frost, making a buck
For sale:
baby shoes
never worn
Nike Air Jordans
still in box
original laces
Buy Now
most make poets have a strong pull out
Anyway, back to bobsledding I guess.
So, I’ve got nothing against Amanda Gorman, but do we really need an anthem and a poem and a ceremonial coin toss and who the fuck knows what else?
Oh Christ not this poet again. ENUNCIATION ISN’T POETRY
Great, another non-rhyming poet. GIMME DR SEUSS.
Just a reminder that Stravinsky almost got arrested for altering the National Anthem.
https://www.classicalwcrb.org/post/stravinskys-run-boston-police#stream/0
There’s a reason I don’t usually participate with the live blogs. It’s because I FUCKING HATE COMMERCIALS!
Jesus God.
They do suck
Did they just fly over a B2 bomber? Why? Those things cost a ton to get out of storage, and ain’t nobody who gives a shit about flyovers gonna recognize it anyways.
Eh, what else are we gonna do with it?
GOTTA HAVE STEALTH SO YOU CAN DROP BOMBS ON YEMENI TERRORISTS FROM 15000 FEET IN THE AIR
Why do you hate America, slandering the B2 like that? Wikipedia says it ”
is capable of all-altitude attack missions up to 50,000 feet.”
15000 m. MY BAD.
/Sends invitation to hippofant to appear in front of the DFO Un-American Activities Committee
I politely decline.
I MEAN UH FUCK SHIT GO TO HELL YOU COMMIE BASTARDS OVER MY DEAD BODY GRIPPING MY HOT SAWED OFF SHOTGUN
HE DIDN’T SPELL IT HAWT!!!1
Apparently that one was targeted perfectly at the DFO demographic judging by these comments.
Shoulda parachuted the B-52s in for the anthem
Was that a stealth bomber? Ha! Frauds.
If it’s so stealthy how come everyone saw it?
“I thought they were supposed to be invisible. I didn’t see the F-35s though. They’re invisible too.”
—DJT
Definitely looked like a B-2, I bet they didn’t see that one coming.
Dog whistle for the right-wingers watching: All the B-2s are based at Whiteman AFB in Missouri. Get it? White Man!!!
Right?! I totally saw it!
Yessir. Had to be the slowest flyover ever so as to not erode the B2’s stealth coating.
Fuck you guys that anthem slapped
“I hear that, rhythmically!”
-J. Sandusky
1) I will nae be checking scores, or participating beyond this posting.
2) MRSA Dreamboat can eat a hepatitis-ridden hobo’s asshole. No jelly or syrup, obvs.
Let me guess: “I don’t even own a television.”
1) They done interrupted my Footy Manager twice, trying to get me to stream this abortion for free.
2) I own waaaayyyyy too many TVs.
For how insecure the US is, it sure takes a long time to suck its dick.
“Aroooo!”
-Richard ‘tricky dick’ Nixon
The Pantene commercials I’m seeing make me think I’m not part of the Puppy Bowl’s target demographic.
Aaaaand there’s the modulation.
If we can add Space Force, we can add DC as a state.
Puerto Rico too!
I hear tell they do the Humpty Hump.
But that would mean that DFO is subject to U.S. law!
US Virgin Islands too, hell bring the UK Virgin Islands as well.
I’m all in favor of importing more virgins
I’m officially taking a knee. That’s saying something with my knees.
I got an ACE bandage wrap for my arthritic right knee, is helping mucho.
These male country stars all look and sound alike.
Once again, YOU FUCKING PEOPLE THE STAR-SPANGLED BANNER IS NOT IN FOUR.
We should really start a prop bet on how long it take Senor to lose his shit on this subject each year.
Gimme the under
Nice thing about the Owl, I can be 10 minutes late for kickoff and they’ve just started to get into the 45 minute version of the anthem
Our new countrified national anthem is all white with me.
The Thin Blue Line and my Thick Blue Vein by [Corporate Country Star ver. 3.6]
A Gibson hollowbody
Gorgeous guitar. Better taste than I expect from older Morgan Waller.
A Space Force flag, huh? They’re really gonna trot that out there, huh? How embarrassing.
Space Force? That’s a sign that $GME is going TO THE MOON! BUY BUY BUY!
Is this only vaccinated people? because I’m seeing a lot of maskless “fans” in condensed packed stands
Forget it, Clint; it’s Tampa Town.
What you are seeing is a nationally-televised super-spreader event.
It’s maybe 20% vaccinated people
“No, just stick with ‘Chiefs’; if we go with ‘Squaw’ we’re gonna seem like assholes.”
HER?
That was she.
Way to not put the ASL guy in picture in picture, CBS.
We will teach everyone sign language to reduce covid spread viav loud singing
Ok, is everyone’s stream skipping or is it just my internet?
I just had a pretty straightforward pee, so it may just be you.
Still watching bobsledding; everything’s running like clockwork in Switzerland.
Thats making up for it quick
Is that cgi Vince Lombardi?