Jurgen Klopp is a whingy baby-man, and his tears bring joy to the masses. I may never live to see another day that blissful, so I’mma wallow like a pig in shit.
But, time marches on. We have a straight quadrupleheader today, so let’s dig in.
First, Fronk’s Hammers invade the Etihad to take on The Broom and Palz (7:30, NBCSN). City have been an absolute wrecking ball for weeks now…but somehow, so have David Moyes’ bunch? I sense an absolute barnburner coming. Well worth setting one’s alarm. West Ham have NEVAR qualified for Shempions (or its predecessors in interest).
Trashbirds on Trashbirds is next (10:00, NBCSN), and again…you know what sins you have committed to deserve this fate. Fat Sam is 100% taking the Brummies down, a fitting end to his “distinguished” “career.” Eat all the ass, you mongoloid pigfucker.
Why is the Spotlight Dance (12:30) on Peacock? Is it already the goddamned Olympics or sommet? Villa and Leeds are even a pretty interesting tie, FFS. I find myself watching Leeds MOAR than any other non-Toffee side. Their football is flat-out bonkers. Reminder – Jack Grealish is a cunt.
Wolves at Barcods (3:00, Peacock) end your Lesser Sabado, and if God has started watching sportsball again – then surely Newcastle go down, and then to League One is swift succession.
Get up bright and early once more, because we have some Mighty Whitey to get into 17th. Oh, and Chelski/United a bit later on. No Everton fix until Monday, though. I can wait. We won at Anfield!!!!
Thinking that our human society is fucked beyond repair. There is just no motivation to unfuck things. I guess it really is a surprise we made it this far.
Buddy, the only reason we made it this far is because there weren’t enough of us to fuck things up beyond repair. Now that there are, the constant human tendency towards short-term and selfish interests is going to be the death of us. So it goes.
I will likely advise my kids not to have kids of their own, as I don’t think Earth is going to be a particularly pleasant place after mid-century.
Me, I’ll be dead before it gets too bad, so don’t mind me while I crank my oil heat up to 75, drive my 14 mpg Cadillac to the grocery store 5 times a week, and throw my plastic waste directly into the water, so as to save time.
Actually, the only reason we’re here is because a scant handful of men (Some of them Russian) decided not to let the big one kick off (google B-59) or the missile teams in Cuba 😉
Hell, one of the close calls was because someone forgot to toggle the NORAD system in “training mode” and making a lot of people shit a brick when several thousand inbound tracks started showing up 😀
In fact, the most retarded close call is thanks to Eltsin being just a bit too drunk to launch, after a sounding rocket from the Norway sea mirrored a Trident decapitation strike launch 😀
Edit: Now that I think of it, there’s at least one case where the KGB may have saved America, lol – one of the theories about the death of K-129 (near Hawaii) is that some of the crew tried to launch without the authorization codes (held by the KGB) and caused the thing to asplode like a motherfucker on Taco Bell 😀
There were apparently at least THREE instances when one or both of us and the Soviets had protocols tell them to launch, no questions SUPPOSED TO BE asked. Terrifying.
Also quite understandable, because if the big one actually happened, you’d have (at best) scant few minutes to start a counterstrike (and ironically, it’s the inevitability of the counterstrike that safeguards that noone shoots first).
ie – if a nightmare “out of the blue scenario” happened in the 80s, either Moscow or DC would have less than 5 minutes to identify what’s happening, identify WHO is about to kill you and most of your countrymen and send the orders to “End the world” In practice it’d be less, because it takes time to even identify a launch in the first place (usually when a missile gets contrasted against the cold of space for best tracking confidence), more time to get enough observations to know where the missile’s going to hit (or rather warheadS, and maneuvering independently targetted ones at that for maximum ruh-rohs) and after you have at least some of the data – the time you need just to transmit the info to the president (or in the case of the soviets – the premier), explain what the fuck is happening and… yeah, yer fucked
And all of the above assumes that the Russians and Americans don’t have nukes on embassy grounds in DC and Moscow, which at least Kennedy thought was actually true,lol
In fact – if you want a couple of new nightmares to enter yer rotation, read Trinity’s Child by William Prochnau, which depicts a “limited” nuclear war (as per usual, the Russians did it, because of course they did… despite NATO being the ones not commiting to “no first use” doctrine 😀 ) and frankly, it’s really worth the read (even if it’s gets kinda heavy at times)
#HaveReadThis
/believe was Viva La Tabula Rosa recommend
You may also want to give “Resurrection Day” a chance too – while it’s definitely weaker than Trinity’s Child, it’s still an interesting take on what would’ve happened if LeMay and the other hawks had actually attacked Cuba.
In theory (especially given the shitshow that 2020 was), I’d also suggest “The Last Centurion”, but Jesus fucking Christ, the author goes on worse politicking and raving tangents than bloody FauxNews (and that’s saying something) 😀
I always took great comfort in the thought that we lived at literal ground zero the 20+ years Gumby was in the Navy. I’d rather be a grease spot on the sidewalk than die horribly of radiation burns, thanks very much!
Could be worse – you can actually die from the famine, the collapse of public utilities, projected viral outbreaks, killed by “friends” for a can of food (or because “you’re THE food”) basically, “The Road” …
That said, for me the absolute nightmare is the end of “On The Beach” (the Aussie family, not the US crew).
Are you sure we actually made it, or we aren’t actually all in a hell loop for as a species colletively letting Turd45 be a thing that actually happened and thus directly caused WW3, when he nuked France, Finland and China, because the voices on Fux’n’Fiendz told him so ?
Tim Brando has informed us that Wichita is one of the nicest places we could ever want to visit, which hardly seems very neutral to me.
In fairness, Brando is a very, very white man.
Or maybe a history/aviation buff and wants to tour the various aviation plants in the area – in fact my CitX was “born” right there 🙂
…well, in all fairness – the ‘rona induced lockdowns can make people crack in the silliest of ways 😀
That reference probably predates you, bk. Peter King always used to use Wichita as a theoretical neutral site where two equally matched teams could play to get rid of home field advantage. He beat it to death, much like I’m doing with this explanation.
It may not predate me, it’s just that I’d rather PAY to have Phil Simms’ and Jim Nantz’ most cringeworthy commentary played on repeat for 24 hours than to read Peter King’s coverage on … anything
Fair. Very, very fair.
http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/1409053/teabag_2.gif
UConn is playing Marquette, and I just realized that Marquette is coached by Steve Wojowhateverthefuck, former Duke PG and crybaby, and now I not only want UConn to beat them decisively, I want Marquette’s bus to get a flat tire on the way to the airport.
He has a former Wolven Sort (Justin Gainey, who I always called “Peanut”) on staff. That makes him a wee bit harder to hate.
“Wojo and Peanut” is the buddy comedy no one asked for.
I hope Wojo buys a boat and names it the ‘Live Forever’
/Oasis is now competing with SMB in HippoBrain
I love rugby, even though I have no idea what’s going on.
It’s not really that complicated…
[explains 20 minutes explaining how a “scrum” works]
…and that’s *one* way the ball can get put into play! Now for the line-out…
Today, I have Steve Miller Band’s Take the Money and Run in my head, on constant loop. Tis a song I don’t believe I’ve actually heard in well over 10 years.
This has been a glimpse inside HippoBrain
Reminder: Steve Miller rhymes “Texas” and “facts is” in this song.
So you’re saying he was way out in front of, oh, several thousand rappers?
Kid Rock sneers:
And we were trying different things
We were smoking funny things
Lenny Kravitz calls down from a mountain of nubile young women:
<i>I wish that I could fly…
So very high…
Into the sky…
Just like a dragonfly…</i>
England an Wales are tied at 24 in teh rugby.
It’s 3-3 here, so I’m either watching a replay like an idiot, or I’m on one hell of a delay.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hZ3L-CV9Gg
Apparently Batman nailed Catwoman… on the hood of the Batmobile…… Are we REAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLY sure 2020 actually ended?
Looks like Moose took a job designing covers for Stephen King
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EvLZo5DXEAIVBJ0?format=jpg&name=large
Italy playing an Ireland team desperate for a win in Six Nations Rugby, if any of you are snuff film fans.
Turns on Wales v England. Bahahahahahahaha
The Man of the Match for West Brom is, of course, Lee Mason.
Don’t forget the goal posts.
They really just stood there; Brighton did all the work.
“Oops, forgot!” [moves them]
-Conservative political commentators
Kill it with fire.
I’m pretty sure saying that these days will get you cancelled on twAtter / elected to Congress…
found a funny:
as a depressed adult i can’t rave enough about “popcorn dinner”
Man City down, next up is Sillycuse and then later it’s the Sens playing-it’s an embarrassment of sports-cheering riches for yours truly.
“Embarrassing” being the key word with Boeheim these days.
You guys are 11-6, what are you talking about?
Boeheim should have retired years ago. UConn at least has a future; Syracuse is treading water with a coach who won’t change his system, can’t recruit, and won’t retire.
UConn’s present, however, is nowhere near as bright as UConn twitter thinks it is. I think they’ll make the tournament, they shouldn’t be more than a 12th seed, and they’ll probably get destroyed in the 1st round.
None of the above, however, justified or not, will ever make me miss a chance to shit on Boeheim or Syracuse, because Big East, baby.
I just like how you get triggered whenever I mention his name. It’s Pavlovian at this point.
You can literally tell me you’re doing it, and just did, and it. will. not. matter.
hehe
Oh neat! It looks like I get Telemundo Deportes, which means I can watch games with Spanish commentary and get some practice in.
yeah, when the Lesser bug bites, TUDN is a godsend
I blame Balls for my new SecsiMexi futbol addiction. I fucking love it. It is so unpredictable and the skill is up there with the C’ship.
I do enjoy my Sexi Mexi Pumas, but I think the skill level is probably the lower level of C’Ship. It’s better than MLS, but you still see some things that let you know you’re not watching top-flight Lesser Footy.
The entertainment value will definitely benefit when they get those bat-shit crazy fans back, and I mean that in the best way possible.
So there’s my 3-1 had trash birds hit both pennos and the Dunk goal stood.
This kind of match is why football managers (and HAILers of GAMBLOR) end up in rubber rooms…
I often confuse honeydew melon and cantaloups. The appropriate answer when you do this is not, whatever its a fucking melon, turn the game on.
Hey remember when Notre Dame burned down and we all said “Damnit, God, you hit the wrong Notre Dame!”?
I’ll tell you the same thing I told the prosecution – I don’t remember nuthing,. you can’t prove anything … plus the only ND I’d set ablaze is in Indiana !
Maupe can shatter his ankles any time now.
How does the Premier League expect to be taken seriously when Lee Mason isn’t immediately fired for that?
Been watching “Ted Lasso” which is about an American football coach that gets hired by a Premier League team to be their coach. Not a whole lot of lessor footy there but a good cross over for this crowd. Tis funny show
Based in the premise and the trailer I thought it would be lowest-common-denominator trash on the order of Big Bang Theory. Turns out it’s not! It’s really quite good!
Is it “good enough to … obtain via other means?”, because I sure as shit won’t pay Apple a single goddamn dollar… knowing how good they fleece us at corporate (and that’s at the discounted rate… people that actually voluntarily buy iGear get shafted with the BIG ONE… after it was covered by military-grade pepper spray and abrasives)
Tough call. I don’t torrent much these days because I have many other options, but if your larder is dry for good things to watch I’d say yeah.
Uhh, by other means I meant asking around the company slack for an AppleTV password, actually. Though I’m more than open to sail the seven seas for it, if it’s “good enough” (it’s not like I still don’t have access to … several private trackers), though the problem is that the last time I torrented something (and that was because I couldn’t wait for Picard to premiere 2 days later on Prime) … I ended up with the wet turdsplat that was… Picard, so ya 😀
Ha! I just deleted about six unwatched episodes of Picard from my torrent folder last week!
lol, I managed 2 episodes and change before bailing out, wifey managed 1 and a bit (though we both watched certain youtubers that we trust on the nerd front for recaps until the end of the season … and uuuuuuhhhhhbooooooyyyyy)
On the bright side, Picard already died once (as a character) with the end of “All Good Things” – as fun as … some… well… one … of the TNG movies was, his characterization in the movies has little in common to the TNG series one.
been meaning to watch that cause
i’ve heard its ROCKING!!!
God DAMN IT!!!
you know it’s bad when the manager who benefitted from the chucklefuckery has his head in his hands about it
Not bouncing my way today.
A reminder – Lee Fucking Mason has absolutely no idea what he is doing. Seriously, he’s Admiral Stockdale at that VP debate…
I picked Brighton to win 3-1 right before that penno miss. Piss.
Trash birds seemed like their feets were all screwed to the floor, there.
Unrelated question – has anyone here watched the show 24 (with Kiefer Sutherland) and is it like, age-appropriate for 10 year olds?
Depends on the 10-year old. I wouldn’t stick with it past Season 1, though. It gets really silly.
I used to watch it on occasion before, but … I’ve always been a bit more tolerant towards mature stuff, so on occasion I do check, lol… After all, not everyone watches Apocalypse Now at 10 and comes with the takeaway from the “I love the smell of napalm in the morning” scene was that maybe they shoud’ve used daisy cutters instead, because those’d work better against the VietCong’s tunnels 😀
agreed, I’m not big on “sheltered existence” child rearing either, and is certainly not “one size fits all”
Same, plus (within reason), it’s good for a kid to get METAPHORICALLY burned, because unfortunately that sort of thing teaches better than any “But thou must not” speeches I could give 😀
Right. It’s a real world, with “natural consequences” we all have to learn. Like you said…within reason.
Example of the “within reason” – around X-mas I always make something called “Russian salad” (which is neither Russian, nor a salad, but … it’s a thing across Central and Eastern Europe) and I always warn the kiddos not to eat too much of it straight from the fridge (’cause basically egg salad… with extras alone does wonders for one’s digestion, let alone eating it cold) and my younger daughter decided she knew better… to the tune of spening the latter half of X-mas day holed up in the bathroom 😀
Also teachable moment – always have a device on you, because you never know when you’ll have a sudden need to go to the loo… and it’s boring as hell without something to read or watch on YT 😀
Yoooo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0u9g7K0hlk
Think I heard FronkenScream from all hell way down here.
Yep. That was me. Fuck it. We played them tougher than most.
A West Ham goal in the next few minutes would make this game more interesting than I want it to be.
/edited
Methinks is done
Ham’s Last Gasp?
[enters with silverware]
-A. Reid
That was pretty.
Get it back, hammers!
Weeeee!!!!!!
Stones-y out of nowhere
Their in-close passing is bananas.
Had to make pancakes & sausage for the boys. Back now. I can’t believe we’re still in this. City played mid-week, we didn’t. Maybe with fresher legs, we can get another miracle from Soucek after the 85th minute. Don’t play for the point Moyes, go for the throat!
Ballsy, big one tonight, Kings of Léon v Blue Cruise!
Antonio is one large helping of soccer player.
Like the jacked guy from Wolves who greases up before the match.
Btw, this morning’s BoS comments are brought to you by Metamucil! The shit that keeps your shit regular.
Also sponsored by Raisin Bran. Two scoops in every box!
Get innnnnnnnn Fronky!!!!!!
YEAH, BABY!!!
Damn, I just had a feeling that Ham was up to something.
In the Before Times, there would be a beer and a breakfast in front of me at the pub right now.
When things Get Better, I’m going to make the 5-6 hour drive to Toronto or Ottawa, find a Man City bar and get gloriously drunk. I promise.
Hey, betcha there’s a bar in T.O who’s nickname is Man City…
Probably more than a few. There’s a good chance I’ll get lucky!
/wait a sec
Let me know and I’ll join you in TO for the game, assuming you’d want to meet
Oh, that was your shot, Antonio.
G’afternoon gents, how’re ya on this PuckerUpSaturday* so far?
*well – it’s that if you get stopped by traffic cops with 1400 rounds of ammo, several legally owned firearms … and a big magnet in a doggy bag
Does Ireland use miles or kilometers?
I’m trying to formulate a joke about this situation, but I need to get the technical details right.
Good question. When I moved to Scotland I saw the sign that said “Girvan 7” there was a Scotland match that night I thought I would hoof it. It was then I realized it was miles. Missed the 1st half. Nice walk though
Could be worse, lol – several years ago we decided to do some sightseeing in Köln and picked a nice little parking with what appeared to be the cathedral within easy walking distance… 8 kilometers later we realized 3 REALLY important things, that thing is massive (and just “looked” way closer than it appeared), that I’m walking back alone, because wifey and the kiddos flat out refused to …. and most importantly, that there’s a fucking municipally owned car park literally underneath Cathedral square, which wasn’t listed on google for some fucking reason 😀
Was definitely worth it,
Also, as I can’t find a pic that doesn’t include wifey, myself or the kiddos (so you have to trust me on it) – basically next door is the German Olympics/Sport Museum, which is worth the visit..Or the Chocolate Museum (beside it), which .. while also fun as hell, is kinda… hazardous to your wallet when you have kiddos 😀
I was there solo for Christmas in 2004, it was awesome, the xmas market was amazing. Even caught a hockey game which was awesome.
It’s definitely fantastic, plus we lucked out that a lot of people got scared off by the weather forecast for the day, so it was almost empty (compared to my first time there, when it was packed as hell with tourists)… Hell, most of Germany is fantastic to visit and drink in the history, charm … and if you’re juuuuuuuuuuuuuust North of München (among others) – the apocalyptic crimes against humanity.
Fun tidbit, btw – the iconic parade ground in Nürnberg (where the shouty Austian cunt… shouted cunty things) now overlooks a couple of American football fields AND a baseball diamond as a historical fuck you from the occupation forces in Germany 😀
Agreed, big fan of Germany. So different everywhere you go. That being said, Frankfurt is very drab. Not the good drab like Berlin (it rained for 5 straight days) which was still superb.
Given that a lot of that area had to be rebuilt in a hurry to become (basically) the new heart of Germany, it’s kinda expected 😀 , but there’s plenty to see in the area (both in town and within an hours’ drive away) including Koblenz, Heidelberg, Würzburg … even Wiesbaden and Mainz (tho, I have only fuzzy memories of the former, because I spent most of the time drinking with buddies stationed in the area)
Currently in Sweden, also kilometers, because ya realize that the “Imperial” part of “imperial measurements” is talking about certain cunts across the water, that have unjustly occupied and subjucated us and our Northern brethren 😛
Poop
I would not have has Rùben to score that’s for sure.
Fernandinho is scary good.
There it is!!!
I’d like to humbly suggest that Man kick the ball at the net. It might work.
I could be a soccer coach!
Stop trying to make Jagermeister boilermakers a thing. You’re gonna get people killed.
Love this guy-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Bc7zitkaS8&ab_channel=unemployedwineguy
”Makes me want to punch a wall! I won’t, though. Or will I?”
Can’t remember what he was reviewing but the line, “Pairs well with Toxic Masculinity” had me audibly laughing.
Jargermeister and Goldchlager back in the day were rocket fuel.
Why would you want to dillute any bloody type of Kräuterlikör, let alone Jägermeister is beyond me, but then again… I’ve seen what lengths bloody Americans go to drink (I’m looking at you MrKatz’s Original bitchboi Brooklyn SPESHUL)
“West Ham has only 28% possession but they needn’t worry, that’s just the way Man plays.”
So Man is playing their game and you shouldn’t be worried? Huh.
We’re going to have to get a handful of yellow cards to get past these. Just no one draw a red, and PLEASE don’t give up a penalty.
Not the Broomiest of free kicks right there.
He’s fucking terrifying.
Tea? Check.
THC? Check.
GAMBLOR? Check.
Plonked a buck down on Hammers to win (+1000) and Antonio & Soucek to score. One gets ya $85.
Now let’s get these Manc bastards! SOMEONE is going to beat them!
Park the bus and counter.
Coffee brewing and just smoked a bowl.
Dreary, drizzly morning here in the Shenandoah Valley. If I need to go outside to yell expletives, I’ll have to put on sneakers?.
It snowed again yesterday. But it is only -7 C today and next week….
/looks around
/Next week will be rockin.
And awaaaay we go!
Hellloooooooo!