Welcome back to the comments of the week. I was worried for a bit that there wouldn’t be many comments to pick from and thus I’d have to, like, generate my own content, and not just copy paste y’all. But due to your hard work, patience and dedication, that didn’t need to happen. And it looks like the site is running much better than it was a few weeks ago. I think “they” are still working on things, so expect it to return to what we think of normal for this site in a few moar days.

There’s been lots of hoops ball to watch lately as well, both ladies and mens JV. For the DFO brackets, congrats to Litre for winning the men’s side and to theRevanchist for winning the ladies bracket. You both may add a gently used fleshlight to your mantle. Or watch didlo. Or whatever does it for you.

And while I jealously and happily see many of you getting your Covid shot, in these parts, we are back under lockdown for the next 4 weeks. But most schools are still open. Ya, you read that right. WTF. I’m trying not to trigger Maestro here, but it makes zero sense to me to close everything but the schools. I get that it sucks for the kids but not sure the risks outweigh the rewards with all these new variants out there.

As a reminder, this post will cover comments made up to and through the Saturday Night Open Thread. Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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Hue Jackson is not wrong, but he is partly to blame.

But Browns fans still hate him, apparently, from what I’ve seen on Twitter.
TheRevanchist

Yeah but Browns fans like the Browns, so their judgement is definitely suspect.
herodotus450

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Houston just takes away your best guy.
scotchnaut

And then another 499 of your guys for good measure.
Mr. Ayo

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Just like Caitlyn Jenner, this is missing its pole.
Mr. Ayo

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Wait. Where am I voting? Is this part of that new Georgia law where I have to live in a white neighborhood to get a voting station?
TheRevanchist

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Turnover by Wagner? I haven’t seen a German drop the ball like this since Gerd Van Rundstedts handling of the Eastern Front!
/pushes WW2 history book under the rug
herodotus450

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I upgraded my modem to a 28.8 and the site has been working fine, ya’ll should try it.
herodotus450

Can I borrow your AOL CD?
LemonJello

Oooh Mr Fancypants, I get my god damn interwebs from a floppy and I do just fine. Any day that Limewire porno will come through? Will it be good? Who knows? That’s part of the thrill! Maybe it will be a nubile Nina Harley?
litre_cola

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Can I post an image? We are about to find out

gumbygirl

Exit light
Enter bite
Take my paw
Off to never never lap
Mr. Ayo

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I got the J&J single shot vax today. Instead of going straight to a bar, I went to a casino. I made $40 playing blackjack and left. And NOW I’m drankin’ whiskey.

Don T

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I thought driving 90 miles to get the vaccine was too bad, but I was mistaken; someone else drove 120 miles to get the vaccine.

Also, in addition to getting the vaccine, as an small, additional “go fornicate yourself” to the anti-vaxxers and pretty much the Republican Party AND in the spirit of baseball starting this week, I’m setting you up with a hanging breaking ball over the plate, the instrument of my COVID-19 salvation and a return to normalcy was given to me on Gay Street.
Redshirt

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Meanwhile, the Browns & Lions know that 0-17 is coming for them like the sex demon from “It Follows”.
Beerguyrob

“How old is the demon that’s coming for them, and does it have to cross state lines to do it?”
-Not Matt Gaetz, that’s for sure.
Horatio Cornblower

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“SPANO !?! SPANO! IS THIS A BRANCH OF THAT MOST HATED OF FAMILY TREES??? MUST I MAKE LAY WASTE TO THE SOIL AT ITS ROOTS WITH THE SALT FROM THE TEARS OF THE HERETICS?”

LemonJello

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THIS GUY RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY I CALL HIM THE INSATIABLE EMILY WILLIS BECAUSE HE HAD TWO JOHNSONS PUT INSIDE HIM TODAY.

That’s right, I’m vaccinated, baby!
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hell yeah! I’m getting my first Moderna tomorrow morning, I think I may bake a fucking cake! Gumby is two weeks out from his J and J today, so he is fully covered. Such a relief!
Gumbygirl

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After these last few days I’ll take anything with alcohol.
yeah right

Here, have a glass of scotch with cum in it. Funny story!
SonOfSpam

The Speaker does not recognize the Representative from Florida.
LemonJello

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I almost used this for the banner image:

Sharkbait

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If every NFL player played through injury as ferociously as the Dr. Mrs. is fighting through her reaction to the vaccine in order to host a couple of friends tomorrow, the NFL could finally institute that 28 game schedule they have been eyeing.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Sharkbait

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Are these REAL saints? Didn’t seem to be enough bloody martyrdom. Give us some burning arrows and hacking off of the holy boobs, man!
(It was very good Rob. As a lapsed Catholic, I give it a hearty rap on the knuckles with a metal ruler!)
Gumbygirl

What, no St. Dunstan?

Actually, he was a bit of a party pooper — he once broke up a mother-daughter threesome that the king was enjoying.
Dunstan

His opposition to the saint dated from the refusal of the latter to countenance his relations with Ethelgive, by some presumed to be his foster mother, and her daughter.

Patron Saint of Cockblockers
SonOfSpam

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What does this post [Good Friday Post] and a certain ex-President’s steak have in common?

They’re both well done.
scotchnaut

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Good news! I’m dating again.*

Bad news: I’m the biggest sap for the Statue of Liberty selfie. Imagine if instead of a torch, Ms. Libertee had a cellphone, so it’s just face and cleavage. Critical thinking is no match for a dirty mind. Tch.

* Apologies to Barry Zuckerkorn.
Don T

Her swimsuit coverup is super bulky

Doktor Zymm

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I’m honoring Jesus this Easter weekend by drinking Old Rasputin Ale — that fucker wouldn’t stay dead, either.
Dunstan

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Is it a party foul if I bust into the Easter candy tonight?
Gumbygirl

What’s Jesus going to do? He’s still “sleeping”
Dunstan

I heard he went to a farm in the country, with plenty of room for him to run and play
Doktor Zymm

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I just love the ending to the Ten Commandments. Its the perfect allegory to the COVID-19 Pandemic.

Moses: “I’m going up the mountain to get the important laws from God.”
(Moses leaves)
Dathan: “Moses’ God has abandoned us. Lets take all the valuable gold we have and turn it into a Golden Calf that we can worship and then go back to slavery!.”
Aaron: “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in entire history of our very young religion.”
Dathan: “DO IT!”
Moses: “What the f***, I’ve only been gone ten minutes!”
Dathan: “You took too long. We got impatient.”
Redshirt

Wonder what the other 5 said

Sharkbait

11) Thou shalt leave the gays and lesbians alone and mind thine own business.
12) Thou shalt follow evidence and science, and if they appear to contradict Scripture, just assume that Scripture is wrong or metaphorical.
13) Thou shalt not diddle the little children
14) Thou shalt not give thine money to cheesy preachers just because they have good hair and teeth
15) Thou shalt not vote for a grifting douchebag clown.

Oh well, I’m sure those will never come up.
Dunstan

11) Thou shalt not use the word of the Lord to judge those who have fallen short as you also have fallen short.
12) Thou shalt not follow the literal definitions of the word of the Lord, but the intent and meaning behind the word of the Lord.
13) Thou shalt not harm the children of the Lord as they were made in his image and are still innocent and will remain innocent.
14) Thou shalt be cautious when giving money to prophets to ensure they are not false prophets.
15) Thou shalt use free will and common sense when choosing to follow those who use the word of the Lord but do not live the word of the Lord.

Moses, come back when you give these first fifteen Commandments and I will give you the remaining commandments about how science isn’t a sin unto the Lord, that just because someone doesn’t agree with you doesn’t make them evil, and which sporting teams the Lord favors and opposes.
Redshirt

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God bless Canada.

Mr. Ayo

There haven’t been that many people laid in Dallas like that since Debbie.
Dunstan

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In honor of Trans Day of Visibility, I did the Buffalo Bill dance and tuck for the company talent show. Apparently they would fuck me, in the form of getting suspended.
Ed McMahon’s Party Machine!

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Don T

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When it cones to tiles, choose octopus

Don T

Cthulu-approved!
SonOfSpam

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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It is pretty much mandatory for males in committed relationships to have sex with their partners twice on Easter Sunday just so that they can make the HE IS RISEN joke.
ballsofsteelandfury

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I love seeing the ads on White Trash TV (basically the Discovery+ suite of channels) showing the interracial families and the lesbian couples and there’s one with two black guys kissing. I bet it drives them fucking Trumpies right out of their fucking minds.
Viva La Tabula Raza

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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