Sexy Friday: Draft Day 2 Edition

There is no point posting Sexy because all you care about today is Hot Beefy Men and how they will Protect your QB or make you all giddy with excitement as they run far and fast on a field of grass.

I will, however, provide you with a video song puzzle for those of you that are completely disappointed with your team’s performance and want to forget about it.

***

Song Puzzle

Six songs. There is a common link or theme. It’s your job to figure it out.

New Order – Bizarre Love Triangle
New Order – Blue Monday
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlHQSIMHqjA
New Order – Love Vigilantes
New Order – Sub-culture
New Order – Temptation
New Order – Ceremony

And no, it’s not that they are all New Order songs. There’s more to it than that.

***

That’s all for now. Please add your sexy pictures in the comments. Even if they’re 300 lb linemen.

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Doktor Zymm

Whatever, we all know you’re on the payroll of Big Alphabet

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Duh, they’re all songs by New Order

SonOfSpam

No, they’re all songs NOT sung by Ian Curtis.

Brick Meathook

Instead of that draft shit, how about some choo-choo train videos?

This is the Coast Starlight #11 pulling into Santa Barbara to pick me up, bound for Los Angeles.

Yes, that’s two GE P42DC locomotives, three sleeper cars, a dining car, an observation/lounge car, three coach cars, one business class car (all double-deck Superliners), and then my private Pullman car at the very end.

SEX-EEEEEE!

https://youtu.be/Yg6UQOKY1WU

Mr. Ayo

Did they make you walk all the way to the end?!?

Brick Meathook

No, my staff drove me there in my turbo golf cart.

Doktor Zymm

This is far sexier

Doktor Zymm

This is hot stuff! Looks like we might actually get rail investment with this administration which would be awesome, but I’m not too optimistic yet since I remember everyone thought rail was the hotness after 9/11 and that totally didn’t pan out

Doktor Zymm

This one is such a no brainer that if it doesn’t happen I will completely give up on US rail.

Mr. Ayo

I would definitely fly to LA to get to Vegas if that was a thing.

SonOfSpam

THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN

Gumbygirl

Stopping in Victorville. Close enough!

BugEyedBoo

I wouldn’t bet on it. I’ve heard about a 3-C line (Cleveland-Columbus-Cincinnati) for thirty years now, and it still hasn’t happened.

Doktor Zymm

Remember when lots of people would gather in a location to put stuff in their faces? I got a fun email reminder today.

“This afternoon, some of you may have received an email from Universe about the Bacon and Beer Classic taking place tomorrow. The San Jose Bacon and Beer Classic will not be taking place tomorrow at Avaya Stadium. This was an accidental automated email.  “

Mr. Ayo

That’s just cruel.

Doktor Zymm

I’m actually pretty happy they’re still planning on having it at some point. It was supposed to happen around this time last year, and was prepaid with no word on refunds.

Doktor Zymm

Also, check out their promotional photo of excited white people!

ha.jpg
Mr. Ayo

That tracks.

clint greasewood

Commercial during the Cowboys pick?
Jerry Jones seen researching how to secede from the NFL

Doktor Zymm

Jerrah’s got his coked up ladies screen printing the pick’s name on a hat and jersey during the break

Doktor Zymm

So apparently there are multiple types of takoyaki puff snacks, because these are different than the ones Litre had in Ep 8 (I think) of snaxx. They are really damn good, although if I didn’t know what they were I would never guess.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Cheeseburger flavor?

Doktor Zymm

Cheeseburger flavored octopus balls is some next level shit, I dig it

Don T

The music theme is how utterly heinous love is. Just a perpetual machine of longing and self-doubt.
Howevah,
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SonOfSpam
Doktor Zymm

I thought it was that the songs are in alphabetical order except the last one because there’s no reason for letters to be in a particular order beyond ceremonial conformity to traditional norms

Gumbygirl

They are gonna embiggen this guy!

Don T

Made several bad decisions today. Harmed no one, I’m home alone not-really-incapacitated.
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SonOfSpam

Salud, from a kinda-intoxicated guy many miles away.

Doktor Zymm

If a bad decision is made in an empty forest and no one is there to be harmed by it, was it really a bad decision at all?

Don T

If no one finds out / minds the loss of dignity, pffft.
/ raises roof
// hits ceiling fan

SonOfSpam

Davis Mills, white-ass Stanford QB, probably without any assaults on his record, drafted by Houston (who doesn’t exist).

Doktor Zymm

After living in the Bay Area for multiple years, I’m reasonably certain Stanford is not a university but actually some sort of bougie cult

Doktor Zymm

Oh damn, 6.7 quake just now off Japan

SonOfSpam

Fingers crossed for a tsunami-less day.

Doktor Zymm

They’re saying no tsunami watch, so yay!

Doktor Zymm

There’s far less vaginal architecture than phallic architecture comment image

SonOfSpam

Kinda hermaphroditic.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yonic is one of my favorite words.

SonOfSpam

Brady replacement sighting!

Mr. Ayo

Oh shit. Brady burning that pirate ship down.

scotchnaut

KC’s Creed Humphrey has the largest gun collection of all this year’s draftees.

SonOfSpam

Buffalo just took a DE named “Basham” which is a pretty good name for a defensive player. Hoping the Rams next pick is that guy “Fuckhimup”

Gumbygirl

Jadarius Asswhoopa.

herodotus450

When start and control the programming of PNN, the Pessimist News Network, I’m gonna show the fate of previous years draft picks at the same spots. Oh this years middle 2nd rounder is “an instinctive playmaker on the back end who also can cover the slot”? Well the last 10 guys picked at that spot never made a scout team and are now bankrupt or dead.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I support this message

herodotus450

A Jevon, Teven, and Trevon have all been drafted this round. TRIPLE WEERD

Doktor Zymm

Just got here, any entertaining fuckups I missed?

herodotus450

Well there was that time I tried to get up from my chair too fast and pulled a muscle, I guess some could have found it entertaining.

Doktor Zymm

I think that’s just called middle age

King Hippo

155 pounds?? Oh, he gon’ die.

SonOfSpam

As a RAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMIT fan, I do not love this pick. Hope I’m wrong (which is very very likely).

Needed more big dudes, especially on the D. (Lindsey Graham nods sexily)

Mr. Ayo

lol

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scotchnaut

“He Died Doing What He Loved-Running A Crossing Route.”

-TuTu Atwell’s Gravestone

Doktor Zymm

Even Tiny Trindon played at 165

Doktor Zymm

Wasn’t Brandon Banks something like 150? He didn’t die, but like other tiny fast dudes he was more of a return specialist and had trouble contributing as a receiver

SonOfSpam

Yeah, Tavon Austin says what’s up,

clint greasewood

Cleveland Rams

King Hippo

I would assume this Paedo State TE has better hands than Eric Ebron. Because he’s not Eric Ebron.

scotchnaut

Franco Harris getting booed so hard, you’d think he was a commissioner.

Gumbygirl

I don’t know what I think about the Steelers pick, so here’s this

DjEQCvqVAAEsrc9.jpeg
clint greasewood

The powerhouse that is North Dakota State just churning out NFL talent.

King Hippo

I read somewhere that NDSU is “the Alabama of the Missouri Valley Conference.” I’m sure they were equal parts flattered and insulted.

herodotus450

If I had to pick two states that are the most similar to each other, ND and Alabama would be a pretty good choice though

King Hippo

differentiated mostly by swampass

King Hippo

damn it, Radunz is who I wanted to slip to the 3rd

King Hippo

Both of #ThePauls picks are multiples of 13. This is the kind of spectrum-y shit I notice.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Raiders getting praised for one of their draft picks? 2021 is fun!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I saw it pointed out that it’s pretty nice to have a potential 5th year option on an offensive lineman.

scotchnaut

“I mean, it has to happen sooner or later. Right?”

-The Law Of Averages

King Hippo

Huzzah, the #BFIB are winning, and the Bastard Man Small Bears are still sucking hind teat.

/proceeds to ignore el beisbol for another week or two

scotchnaut

Giants GM Dave Gettleman Is On The Sundial!

King Hippo

This is who I wanted DEN to pick. FACK!!!

SonOfSpam

Surprised he slipped into the 2nd, especially all that way

King Hippo

Indeed. I always like 1st round talent early Round 2 (and face it, Donks are usually going early), especially given my Draft maxim:

When in doubt, take a front seven dude from teh SEC

SonOfSpam

As opposed to a QB from USC.

King Hippo

Scotchy, which Hog Molly you getting here?

SonOfSpam

Hatchet? Ivins? Ringwald?

scotchnaut

Gettleman must be thinking there’s value later on.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s been like six hours and I’m still laughing over that last one.

SonOfSpam

Yeah, Bouie has the right answer here.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I just love it so much.

Brick Meathook

Abercrombie & Fitch used to be a high-end Manhattan sporting goods store for the wealthy. General Douglas MacArthur had his uniforms custom tailored there. Sometime in the 1990s, they shifted gears and took on a pedophile image in their stores with horrible cheap clothing. The creative director who oversaw this change was like a gay Donald Trump, a real piece of work.

How wearing Abercrombie is “sticking it to the man” is a mystery to me.

Last edited 3 years ago by Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Unless he meant that in a gay way.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s what people are mocking him over. Not even the world’s dumbest teen ever thought they were “sticking to the man” by wearing Abercrombie.

scotchnaut

Hank Bauer of the Chargers is probably the greatest fullback to play on a West Coast Offense. [rolls eyes]

scotchnaut

Tom Rathman: “I got you, scotchy, I got you.”

King Hippo

Enjoying the pace of this meat market.

scotchnaut

Drew Pearson [trying to whip up the crowd] fucked that up six different ways.

Gumbygirl

2nd pick in the 44th round!

King Hippo

I wondered if maybe I was having a stroke.

scotchnaut

Gotta be honest, I can’t remember a single player that was drafted in 35th round.

King Hippo

Fare weather fan smh

scotchnaut

PR Consultants: [shows footage of boos raining down on Goodell as he’s about to announce the Patriots pick] “Please try to avoid this scenario. I beg of you!”

King Hippo

Team WKRP got awesome value for that trade down.

scotchnaut

Gonna be able to re-sign Venus Flytrap to that long-term deal. Didn’t think they could pull that off.

King Hippo

Oh, awesome, Mike Golic! said abso-fucking-lutely nobody.

scotchnaut

Pats traded up again?

Gumbygirl

First Canadian, woot!

King Hippo

Per The Athltic, last night’s Draft coverage got about 20% MOAR viewers than the Oscars.

https://theathletic.com/news/nfl-draft-first-round-draws-second-most-draft-viewers-of-all-time/bWTYJ2qr0vvv

King Hippo

well, at least it’s not a QB. But JEEBUS, trading a 4th rounder to go up 5 slots for a fucking carry-splitting (and quite plausibly illiterate) RB??

scotchnaut

So he’s never read Emily St. John Mandel-not quite a deal-breaker for me.

/transitioned from lb to rb? Was he allowed in any public restrooms in North Carolina?

Last edited 3 years ago by scotchnaut
King Hippo

hee hee

clint greasewood

QB?

King Hippo

Donks can has trade up??

scotchnaut

They’re in love with someone. Any guesses?

King Hippo

I expected edge rusher or ILB. I was wrong, and am disappoint.

scotchnaut

NFL: “Jets, you’re on the clock!”

Joe Douglas: “I’m On It Already!” [is sitting on his Timex wristwatch]

scotchnaut

“Widow’s Peak” is the name of my Mel Kiper Jr. mixtape.

clint greasewood
Last edited 3 years ago by clint greasewood
clint greasewood
clint greasewood
King Hippo

I like draft weekend. I like Madchester. GOOD JERB.

scotchnaut

Kudos to Ayo for the well-rounded pics!

Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

h
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