Your Stanley Cup Finals Preview & Monday Evening Open Thread

NFL Nuggets:

it’s a pretty slow day today, what with the holiday next week in the US. Most teams are taking time off before ramping up to the start of camp. To wit:

  • Florio is speculating that the opt-out rules give Aaron Rodgers the ability to sit out all of the coming season, with zero financial obligations to the team for not playing this year.
    • His $11.5 million in signing bonus allocation for this year would not be subject to forfeiture.
      • But his $6.8 million roster bonus, earned in March, most likely would still be paid out weekly during the regular season.
      • Then, after the season, he’d presumably be traded.
    • The only problem is that he has to decide by July 2nd.
      • After that, his options are to lose the whole year’s salary, including the bonus, or retire.
  • Proving that “wide-right” is in the Bills mantra for timing as well as positioning, Bruce Smith had libertarian sports thoughts on the whole Carl Nassib revelation from last week.
    • “We had a gay player in our locker room. I think it was the mid-to-late ’90s and I think we might have had two but that wasn’t what we were focused on. . . . We were focused on winning games… None of that other stuff mattered.”
    • I’m impressed he didn’t accidentally name names.
      • And I’m sure that the internet, being a kind & compassionate place, won’t go digging into this at all.

At least, the ones without brain damage or third-degree burns.

Stanley Cup Finals Preview: Montreal vs. Tampa Bay

Well, it’s all come down to this, a team that was expected to be here versus a team that shouldn’t have made it past Game 5 of the first round.

Well, now that that’s out of the way, let’s break some things down.

When I made my semi-finals predictions, I kind of cheated. Since only one of the teams I’d picked had made it that far, I decided to pick against the teams I wanted to win, just to see if that might turn out more favourably. Now, I’m the furthest thing from a Habs fan, but I wanted them to beat the Leafs, and I was pissed they beat the Jets. But Vegas? Having Vegas play in the Cup final again would be invalidating my years as a Canucks fan, since the Canucks have planned their team & turned out like dogshit, yet Vegas took other team’s dogshit in the expansion draft & turned into a Cup contender. [FYI – I know the ExDraft rules are changing for Seattle; it doesn’t invalidate my rage.] So, I picked Vegas to beat the Habs, since I wanted to put the kavorka on them.

I might be doing this wrong.

Now, I think we can all agree the Habs chances start & end with Carey Price. Sure, there’s the veterans Perry & Stall, plus the rookies like Caufield & Suzuki, but c’mon. The man has played out of his mind in these playoffs, and you don’t have to look further than the overtime clincher against Vegas for proof – he stones Pacioretty to get the faceoff, then stops that rocket from the point, allowing his guys to break out & score against the play. That’s been Montreal all playoffs – making the most of their few chances.

Tampa Bay, meanwhile, has been making their own chances. How the hell did they win Game 7 1-0 on a shorthanded goal? That’s ridiculous. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that the Islanders rebounded from their 8-0 Game 5 drubbing by cheapshotting their way to a Game 6 victory, but all that did was expose the weaknesses in their lineup. They don’t have a lot of pitbulls, which under normal circumstances is fine. They have Kucherov, Point, Stamkos & Killorn, so they are stacked for offensive output. And Andrei Vasilevskiy has used his team’s output to amass a 1.99 GAA, so teams aren’t getting that many past him. But the fact they’ve been extended this far means that when they don’t light it up, the games have been close & usually favoured the other team.

I would like to think this series will be tighter than most think it will be. Also, I hope they get to play three games in Canada so the fans can scream at Gary Bettman about the Nordiques every chance they get. Ask any Canadian – francophones have long memories.

Prediction: Vegas Tampa in seven. (It appears the heat got to me.)


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Montreal at Tampa Bay – 8:00pm | NBCSN / CBC / Sportsnet
      • Not the weekend = not on NBC
  • NBA:
    • Clippers at Suns – 9:00pm | ESPN / Sportsnet1
      • Game 5 – Suns up 3-1
  • Futbol:
    • Copa America 2021:
      • Group Stage – Bolivia vs. Argentina – 8:00pm | FS1 / TSN2
  • MLB:
    • no national broadcasts
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00pm | USA / Sportsnet360

Schools were closed today due to the heat, so I got to teach from home. Fortunately, no camera mishaps on my end – I’m not a Canadian politician.

5 5 votes
Article Rating
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Subscribe
Notify of
100 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
TheRevanchist

We should honor England when they lose in much the same fashion with Herman’s Hermits or something similar.

Gumbygirl

Way too happy. Should be something miserable, like Morrissey.

TheRevanchist

But then we may have to hear Morrisey.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So what about the Blackhawks?

Sharkbait

Video coach apparently sexually assaulted a couple players during the 2010 cup run

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Gonna go eat a peach. This will put me at 73.

Senor Weaselo

So, a thousand paper cranes next?

SonOfSpam

Allman Brothers’ album titles aren’t life instructions.

Redshirt

In a sign that things are returning to normal, the local amusement park is now open until 10PM which means I was able to ride The Beast at night. True, the temperature was in the low 90s and the Humidity was in the 70%s, but honestly you didn’t really notice it that much:

artistic interpretation of me walking in the park
Super Mario Bros All Underwater Levels 1080p – YouTube

Redshirt

The Trump Family is living proof that money can’t by class. If Fred Trump wasn’t a successful businessman, Donald Trump would own a chain of used car dealerships in New York.

Horatio Cornblower

I doubt he’d own anything. Without the boost from the old man he’d be in jail.

Redshirt

I don’t know. He wouldn’t even be rich enough for anyone to give a shit about.

Its just when I see him, I think of one of those poorly acted late night commercials you see on the local TV.

SonOfSpam

What has struck me the most over the last 5-6 years is how spectacularly stupid he is; I agree that his ambition would’ve meant trying some shit, but total lack of awareness about anything would have left him poor and/or dead.

Last edited 3 years ago by SonOfSpam
Redshirt

This. With the following he has, he could’ve easily been reelected and maybe even gotten the 22nd Amendment overturned had he had an ounce of tact, patience and intelligence.

For a guy whose thing is Real Estate, its ironic that he’s acting like a guy who’ll give his opponent the corner Monopolies after Jail and all four railroads just for Park Place and Boardwalk, and then quit and pout when he’s the first person out.

Gumbygirl

Soooooo stupid.

E4cKt3aVEAMlhAZ.jpeg
Senor Weaselo

Rather than Curtis Sliwa, it would be Donald Trump for Major World.

Google the Major World commercials. They are… interesting.

Horatio Cornblower

I don’t think Bolivia is gonna win the Copa, you guys.

Mr. Ayo

Hold up. They scored against Argentina. Surely a sad sack piece of shit team couldn’t accomplish that goal.

Horatio Cornblower

It’s currently 3-0 Argentina, and it’s not that close.

Horatio Cornblower

And immediately it is 3-1, and I am left to wonder how much slower my feed is than Mr. Ayo’s. Slower than Bolivia against Argentina? Apparently not.

/nailed it

Mr. Ayo

Nice try, Wakezilla.

The game started at 5pm pacific.

SonOfSpam

They are rerunning the game, which ended about two hours ago.

Keep making the predictions though!

Horatio Cornblower

I did not know that. I figured the South Americans were playing at 9 pm or something to beat the heat.

Nonetheless, my bold prediction that Bolivia isn’t going to win the whole thing stands.

Mr. Ayo

That they’re playing in their last group play fixture with 0 points means you’ve made a quite bold prediction that’s turning out to be correct!

Horatio Cornblower

I have not paid much attention to the Copa, (as should be obvious), because every time I put on a game it’s a complete mismatch like this.

Even North Macedonia seemed to have more of a chance than some of the lesser South American squads.

Mr. Ayo

Yeah, I’m just waiting for Argentina and Brazil. The rest suck balls.

Horatio Cornblower

That’s my problem with the Copa. Other than an occasional interloper like Colombia or Uruguay, (assuming Bitey Mcbiteface can control himself), it’s always Brazil-Argentina.

SonOfSpam

Joke’s on you; Bolivia was the only team that didn’t have COVID and were named winner of the Group.

(note: may not have nappened)

TheRevanchist

That preview was top notch, BTW. I learned a lot of good facts. No snark.

rockingdog

Is Tampa Bay really gonna go back-2-back with this?
That would be ROCKING!!!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Dr. Mrs. gets inordinately angry at the Tony Hawk commercial for Subway where he throws somebody’s food away. I’m worried that if she ever meets him in person she’ll give him shit about it.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m with her. In an imaginary world where Megan Rapinoe knocks a hamburger out of my hands with a well-placed soccer world I assure you she is up shit’s creek without a paddle.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Did I mention that I spent a short while convinced that Megan Rapinoe swims at the same pool as me? I’m sure I did, but you probably forgot because it’s dumb and nobody cares and it wasn’t even her.

Last edited 3 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Horatio Cornblower

I do recall that. I used to swim in the same pool as the State record holder in the 50 and 100, as well as a woman who has swum the English Channel multiple times, as in, swims it back and forth, and also recently swam the length of Loch Ness, because what else are you going to do with it.

I no longer swim laps, because it is fucking depressing.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, that’s just a bad pool.

Horatio Cornblower

One time some teenager who was horsing around came crashing into my lane as I was swimming by and I grabbed onto his neck and held him down as I swam by. He left right after.

Probably my favorite moment swimming laps, which is tremendous exercise while managing to be the dullest goddamn thing ever.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Have you tried thinking about baseball?

Horatio Cornblower

Bolivia doesn’t seem very good.

blaxabbath

I hate Robert Sarver. How likely are the suns to be champs?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I can predict that they’ll win it all, if you want me to use my ability to prevent it.

Horatio Cornblower

How many peaches is that gonna cost me?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m never doing anything like this again. It’s bearable, but what I wouldn’t give to be able to enjoy a nice banana right now.

Horatio Cornblower

Did you promise to eat them without any intervening fruit?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

No, but if I’m going to eat fruit it’s going to be peaches, so I can put this damned thing behind me.

litre_cola

If you want I can throw 50 on them and there is no way they will win.

blaxabbath

Man, Ricky started thin at the trailer park boys.

Then he got F A T.

herodotus450

Montreal pulling a “Malkin,” gooning it up while down big in the third quarter.

Game Time Decision

TB in 3. The Montreal team bus takes a wrong turn and ends up in the polluted bay and they all are hospitalised for weeks and forfeit the last game

herodotus450

A VERY wrong turn to end up in Tampa Bay between games 3 and 4, both of which take place in Montreal.

litre_cola

Oh we have Rand McNally over here. Good day Mr. McNally nice to see you.

herodotus450

People used to respect the name McNally until that sonofabitch Garmin came along…

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’d buy that for a Krugerrand.

WCS

comment image

Game Time Decision

Stop trying to ruin my (bad/poor) joke with logic

TheRevanchist

I think you mean TB12, but it’s still a little early for that kind of prediction. There’s still plenty of other sports to watch in the meantime.

Redshirt

.

16ED6A68-E256-465D-BB30-A51C9CFDDBA7.jpeg
Redshirt

Reds Bullpen: “We’re terrible!”
Phillies Bullpen: “Hold my beer…”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Reds Bullpen: [drops the beer]

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I just finished washing the car. I feel a mild sense of accomplishment offset by a nagging sense of guilt because I know whenever I wash my own car it’s like I’m taking money out of Todd Marinovich’s pocket.

blaxabbath

They have all these drive thru ones here but they all suck. In my Retirement I want to own a coin op car wash and have like food truck nights and stuff. Just like a big loud ghetto wash.

I could see there being like a shooting— not there — but near there.

Gumbygirl

There’s one in Highland that you get out and a ninja team swarms your car. Takes awhile, but they are verrrry thorough, and there is a Popeye’s across the parking lot and picnic tables to wait at. Worth every penny.

Doktor Zymm

Oh hey, an earthquake while I’m awake!

Doktor Zymm

I should probably rethink my strategy of blocking my exit route with the trash I need to remember to take out.

TheRevanchist

Nothing too crazy. 4.0. That’s still a baby quake. Gotta save up that Imodium in case of a real one, though.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I wonder who decided it would be a good idea to use some kind of mutated Comic Sans font for the country names on the scoredealio thing on the Copa games. Shit looks dumb as hell.

litre_cola

Completely agree. Looks really dumb.

herodotus450

Now I know some of you might be hearing some crazy rumours from uninformed friends of yours, about this Tampa team cheating and circumventing the salary cap. But what they didn’t tell you is that there’s no cap in the playoffs, because there’s no salary. And also since rosters expand, every team is “over the cap.” And it’s the fucking Canadiouns, fuck them, it’d be like rooting for the Yankees.

LemonJello

I only get my crazy rumours from the uninformed imaginary friends right here.

TheRevanchist

I fully support everything you said here, and only here, because I’ve read some very bad things so very, very many times.

Mr. Ayo

It’s so hot I can’t even charge my phone. WTF.

Sharkbait

So, Montreal in the final vs. a non-tradional hockey market? and the Islanders lost in the conference final? Say hello to the 2021-2022 Stanley Cup Champion New York Rangers. Time truly IS a flat circle.

TheRevanchist

My dad was in his 70’s when he went to France. A few pickpocket mofos tried to take his wallet. The one who grabbed for it, as they try to use multiple people to confuse their victims, he took that dude by the neck and slammed him against the wall. He didn’t hurt the bastard, but the guy got real scared, because, yes, the French are pussies.

WCS

comment image

TheRevanchist

So, watching the National Spelling Bee this weekend, and lots of the kids on there were saying Katie Ledecky was someone they looked up to.

Now, as far I recall, she wasn’t hot, so I had to do research, just in case. Checked her IG, but nothing good there. Twitter was more of the same, just endorsements being pushed. FB pretty much was the same. 420k followers on one of those was her highest follower total.

So, in conclusion, kids in the National Spelling Bee are just dorks with bad taste.

Horatio Cornblower

5 time Olympic Gold medalist, 15 time World Champion and current world record holder in the 400, 800, and 1500 meter distances. I remember seeing her in the last Olympics and when she won her races she was finishing before the runner-up even got in the frame.

The Spelling Bee kids are still hopeless dorks, though.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Making twitter jokes about Ellen throwing stuff at her assistants sustains me. It’s like, throwing-water-bottles-at-your-assistants soup for the soul.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It makes some people mad, though.

<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet”><p lang=”en” dir=”ltr”>No she does not ,if you have nothing nice to say about Ellen get off her page!</p>&mdash; Heather buffett (@buffett_heather) <a href=”https://twitter.com/buffett_heather/status/1409676000716230656?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>June 29, 2021</a></blockquote> <script async src=”https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js” charset=”utf-8″></script>

Sharkbait

Salary cap shenanigans vs. Montreal getting more insufferable? I’m still team meteor.

litre_cola

Better than the Maple *Leaves my boozy internet friend.

SonOfSpam

Angels’ pitcher Dylan Bundy JUST NOW puked behind the mound at Yankee Stadium. Right when they went in for a closeup. “He’s leaning over, hope he’s not injured…oh, okay, there you go.” Fans cheered because Yankee Stadium

Also, Ohtani homered his first at bat.

BASEBALL – CATCH THE FEVER or whatever Bundy has.

ballsofsteelandfury

Ha ha ha! LOVE the prediction!

ballsofsteelandfury

Awwww, I liked it better the first time. 🤣

LemonJello

“Yeah, that’ll happen if you leave all the windows up in a Tampa Target parking lot in summer.”

-Kellen Winslow, Jr.

litre_cola

That’s why I do it outside of a Boston Market in case I get hungry afterwards – also K. Winslow Jr.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Swiss are just French anyway, but with a bath.

Warthog

Except for the ones who are German without the SS tattoos and the ones who are Italian but can’t cook.

ballsofsteelandfury

And the ones that are Romansh and wonder why people aren’t speaking their language.

SonOfSpam

…and my wallet’s gone.

litre_cola

It’s funny because it’s true.

/Shakes fist at Bucaresti Roma.

BeefReeferLives
<img src="https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0227/0581/products/Silly-Saison-12PK-330ML-BTL_jpg?v=1615600772" alt="Computer Hope guy" width="200" height="300"/>
Last edited 3 years ago by BeefReeferLives