Le vendredi érotique, édition avant de 14 juillet

I was goofing around last weekend by commenting in French and I said that one day I’d write a post completely in French. Then I looked at the calendar and realized the perfect opportunity was coming up as the day that Americans call Bastille Day was next week!

So, this is it. For those of you that didn’t take French or don’t want to use Google Translate for a whole post, the JUMP link is still there. From this point forward, the words, women, and songs will be French.

Je suis née au Mexique, donc la première langue est l’espagnol. J’ai commencé à étudier l’Anglaise dans le troisième an de l’école au Mexique. Aussi, j’avais l’opportunité de voir la télévision en anglaise.

Donc, quand je suis arrivé aux États Unis, la transition ne fût pas très difficile. J’ai commencé à étudier le français au septième an de l’école. Je l’aie trouvé assez facile d’apprendre pour que l’espagnol est très similaire au français. La structure est similaire et les mots sont liés.

Récemment, j’ai lu un article en ligne qui disait qu’on a une personnalité différente dépendant en quelle langue on parle. Comme une personne que peut parler trois langues, je pense que c’est vrai.

Je ne sais pourquoi, mais je pense différemment en espagnol qu’en anglais. Pour écrire cet article, mon esprit a dû être plus Française. Je me souviens des toutes les vacances en France et comme j’ai pu parler français avec les Parisiennes et les autres Françaises.

Quel BALLS est le meilleur BALLS? L’espagnol? L’anglaise? Le française?

Je ne sais pas. Mais je sais une chose: J’ai baisé en anglais est en espagnol. Je préfère baiser en espagnol…

Et maintenant, quelques blagues:

Le psychanalyste: Qu’est-ce qui ne va pas avec votre frère ?
La soeur : Il pense qu’il est un poulet.
Le psychanalyste : Et il se comporte comme un poulet depuis quand ?
La soeur : Trois ans maintenant. On serait bien venus plus tôt, mais on avait besoin de ses oeufs…

***

La maman de Manu vient d’avoir un bébé. Sa cousine, en visite, lui demande :
– Comment s’appelle-t-il?
– On ne sait pas, il ne parle pas encore!

***

Un enfant va avec son père à l’hôpital pour voir sa mère qui a accouchée. Quand ils arrivent, l’enfant remarque que son petit frère a un bracelet autour de la main.
Le petit dit à son père:
– “Papa! Papa ! Ils ont oublié d’enlever le prix!!!

***

La maman demande à Julie:
– Que fais-tu ?
– Rien !
– Et ton frère ?
– Il m’aide…

***

Une femme va dans une pharmacie, achète pour 300 Euros de produits amaigrissants. Elle demande au pharmacien:
– Vous pensez que je vais perdre combien avec ça ?
Le pharmacien répond alors :
– Ben… 300 Euros.

***

– Philippe dit à son copain:
– Chaque fois que je me dispute avec Evelyne, c’est simple, elle devient historique!
– Heu… tu veux dire hystérique?
– Non, non, historique! Elle se souvient alors de tout ce que j’ai fait de travers, du jour et de l’heure!

***

Aujourd’hui, je vais présenter les plus belles filles de la France. AUX SEINS ET DERRIÈRES!!

Pour les prudes que n’aiment pas les belles filles ou les beaux hommes, s’il vous plaît font click HERE pour aller aux vidéos.

***

Ici sont les vingt-cinq meilleures photos de la semaine:

Laetitia Casta
Noemie Lenoir
Marion Cotillard
Eva Gaelle Green
Sophie Marceau (La photo de la semaine!)
Bérénice Marlohe
Roxane Mesquida
Lea Seydoux
Fanny Valette
Emmanuelle Béart
Anne Parillaud
Carole Bouquet
Juliet Binoche
Catherine Deneuve
Élodie Navarre
Amélie Honore
Marine Renoir
Delphine Wespiser
Constance Jablonski
Vanessa Paradis
Anouk Aimée
Ludivine Sagnier
Mélanie Laurent
Audrey Tatou
Brigitte Bardot

***

YOU’RE-A-PRUDE

***

Et maintenant, la musique!

J’ai dit plusieurs des fois que j’ai décidé d’honorer tWBS en vous donnant vidéos de bonne musique. Les vidéos d’aujourd’hui sont tous des bandes françaises. Quelques vous connaissez et quelques pouvez être non.

J’espère que vous les aimeriez.

Song Number One:

Air – Sexy Boy

Canción Número Dos:

Daft Punk – One More Time

Chanson Numéro Trois:

DJ Snake – Let Me Love You

Canzone numero quattro:

David Guetta – Titanium

Canção número cinco

Petit Biscuit – Sunset Lover

Seigarren zenbakia:

Johnny Hallyday – Que je t’aime

Si vous ne sauvez qui est Johnny Hallyday, c’est l’Elvis de la France. Une légende.

***

C’est tout pour la semaine! Soyez bonnes les uns à l’autre et distancez-vous des idiotes. Çe n’est seulement pas un conseiller de COVID-19, c’est une bonne idée pour toute la vie. À la semaine prochaine!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Dunstan

Just finished watching Fever Pitch — the original film with Colin Firth as a lesser footy fan, not the stupid Jimmy Fallon Red Sox one. I remember liking the novel at some point; I went through a bit of a Nick Hornsby phase in the early 2000s.

But the film just leaves me baffled at why I’m supposed to want these two characters to get together, or even why THEY like each other. I guess it’s supposed to be one of those “opposites attract” thing; she’s an uptight snob, he’s an emotionally crippled slob, they should totally have an accidental baby together!

Beerguyrob

The one truth about watching that version is that Colin Firth is proof you can’t believe how hard Hollywood tried to push Jimmy Fallon at us.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Dr. Mrs. is having the same issue with a pairing of characters on Elite. “Why does she even like him?” she says. “Because it’s in the script.” I reply.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

@balls you did such a good job with this post that Chrome is offering to translate the page to English.

Last edited 3 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Horatio Cornblower

We’ve got 4.98″ of rain over the last 24 hours here.

Deanna Favre just bought the house next door.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Makes sense, that much rain is pretty much the only way a woman can get wet.” – Ben Shapiro

Gumbygirl

It took me a long time, and I had quite a few lookups, but I powered through the post with my over 40 year old high school French. Formidable!

Doktor Zymm

Cheers! The stretchy little grey cells are in it for long haul! Even if it is just to read internet dick jokes!

Gumbygirl

They need some stretching, for sure! I just finished a biography of Eleanor Roosevelt. Well written, but not well edited. It was choppy, with too much detail about some unimportant things and peripheral people, but raced through FDR’s early political stuff, until bam! He was in the White House. But she was an interesting, weird woman!

Gumbygirl

Bien sur, ma dude! Your stuff is always good. I’m sending the picture of Deneuve to Gumby, he has a chub for her. She was tres jolie!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Can we get some more peak Laetitia Casta?

https://twitter.com/PetiteAnge_/status/1034884838141161473?s=19

Horatio Cornblower

“How about some pre-peak?”

-Gaetz, M.

Horatio Cornblower

Can’t believe I missed that.

Horatio Cornblower

Jesus Christ, I hope you didn’t order room service.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yesterday I was driving along Obama Blvd. in LA and while stopped at the light at La Brea a guy got out of his car and I was like, “what the hell is this guy doing?” Turns out he was giving some food and a bottle of water to a homeless guy sleeping on the sidewalk. The guy wasn’t even awake, he just left it there by his head and hurried back to his car.

It was nice to see some genuine compassion in the wild.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

THANKS, OBUMMER

TheRevanchist

I am with you. And I’m also going to put myself out tomorrow and do this very thing. It is supposed to be 111 tomorrow and 113 on Sunday, so seems like a good time to get a case of water and help keep people alive.

Gumbygirl

Hey now, whippersnapper, some of us are getting close! But, I snort laughed at this
But I’m not just going to throw up my hands and accept the fact that grandmas and grandpas aren’t bursting like popcorn from coast to coast.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Ran across this little piece of cultural history today. The year I graduated from high school.
https://ultimateclassicrock.com/1977-events-rock-movies-pop-culture/

blaxabbath

That elode girl looks like a pretty Liz lemon.

Redshirt

If you know who he is, you might be able to go to the cops. He may have committed a crime.

If you prefer to go a different route, thanks for helping me move furniture while that asshole was getting disemboweled with a spoon. I really appreciate it.

blaxabbath

What’s the deal with this cat?

Brocky

I imagine like most of us, they use DFO as a coping mechanism

Redshirt

New job isn’t that bad so far.

7FF92E3D-4495-4B2A-A46C-ACBCB6E2CFCF.jpeg
blaxabbath

Who is he?

Beerguyrob

It’s Sean Bean, who dies in everything, in a Trek red shirt, because they always die.

Doktor Zymm

It takes at least 6 months for average jobs to turn to shit

FelonySqwrrl

I love Star Wars!

blaxabbath

Why don’t they get the vaccine?

Doktor Zymm

Doesn’t matter per Thailand’s rules. And most of the vaccinated’ Thais have a single dose of sinovac, aka fuck all against delta

Dunstan

Just ordered enough Indian food for me and Andy Reid combined.

blaxabbath

“There isn’t enough Indian food in India for Andy Reid.”

-B Reid, drunk and speeding at a parked car full of children.

Gumbygirl

I always order too much. And then we eat every scrap of it in one go. I have a theory that vindaloo doesn’t actually mean anything in Hindi or whatever language that region speaks. It’s the sound you make when the molten lava shits strike your bunghole.

Doktor Zymm

I thought it meant ‘dumb foreigner’

TheRevanchist

Why is everything in Chinese? The only Chinese I know is me cassa es sue’s cassa.

TheRevanchist

Watching the replay of the college women’s gymnastics championships. I find it oddly stimulating.

Doktor Zymm

Shit, that sucks. May be nothing, but can’t count on that, glad you’re prepared

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I actually have a consultant I can refer you to who deals with that sort of stuff, if you think it might help.

blaxabbath

When can we sit down at your next Vegas trip?

Doktor Zymm

Sounds like you are puppy kicking’ mad. Hope things are not too awful

Game Time Decision

Balls was drooling so badly when picking these pics that it got onto one of the ladies shirt

Beerguyrob

The real crime is that Johnny Depp got to put his diseased wang into more than a couple of those fine ladies.

Regardless, Eva Green was the bomb in Casino Royale.
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King Hippo

I wonder what the fuck a strip club is like, as the Plague Era (mostly) lifts.

/asking for a tWBS, who can nae be sent out to find out b/c ded smgdh

Doktor Zymm

I would guess got close back to normal last June, around the time my buddies who work in poker rooms had to go back to work. By now it is gonna be like nothing ever happened except maybe more g strings look like masks.

blaxabbath

Freaking Robert Sarver is going to get a title because LeBron wanted to make a bomb that will make the original Space Jam look like the original Dream Team.

Because Jordan is the biggest still.

blaxabbath

I’m watching this 2008 Reno 911 where Junior is going to a voluntary build a 1/8 mile section of the wall voluntarily for a couple day storyline.

That’s stuff was fun before the b.s.

King Hippo

RIGHT?? I miss the days when one could make jokes that 40-43% of the goddamned country didn’t take as Gospel truth.

blaxabbath

The wall they’re building is just chest high chain link!

Doktor Zymm

I’m not going to translate it and rather I will take the words I recognize and form them into a complete and imaginary narrative. It is quite fitting that today’s post be in French, as I just rebooked my Air France La Premiere flight for the fourthish time. Originally I was getting a great deal out of Stockholm with one way in first and the other in business. Then corona kept happening and I added a bit to the voucher with each rebooking, and now I will almost certainly be flying from Copenhagen to Dulles via a 15 hour layover in La Premiere in December (will seriously spend the night in the lounge if they will let me, I don’t need to sleep with that wine and scotch and cocktail list) and then from Mexico City back to CPH next June. Denmark has wisely decided to allow in vaccinated Americans, and hoping Hungary and Norway do the same soon. I am sick of phone calls to airlines.

Doktor Zymm

It is amazing looking. And I wouldn’t be paying two months rent for the experience if it hadn’t happened gradually. It is still kind of a bargain, but Covid screwed up my scandi market pricing.
They do have 2 for 1 sales sometimes, you in?

Doktor Zymm

The sales don’t require short notice travel, but who knows if they’ll still have them post covid. Will let you know if they do! And will take lots of pictures to share otherwise 🙂

blaxabbath

You’re the coolest person who travels a lot I have ever met. What a lucky RAIDERS pregame for me.

Doktor Zymm

I’m going to the Bills game on Halloween, they’re playing Miami. It should be tonnes of fun, definitely consider it!

blaxabbath

I’m going to the Raiders stadium opener on MNF and the rest of those things are going on nfl ticket exchange for tourists.

How much do you pay for a game ticket? Like, I feel like $300/ea was my budget and that was only for like playoffs or whatever. But I only do like a game a year or something.

Doktor Zymm

Good score on the Raiders tickets, those things are crazy priced! I got spoiled with cheap Bears tickets, so I do my best to get games I want to watch, in a decent part of a front section, for sub-$200. For the Bills game I will be in row 6 on about the 10

blaxabbath

Yeah see these Raiders tickets are way pricey (plus the damn transaction fees).

Doktor Zymm

One of the most obnoxious things about NFL ticket resale is the fact that the Snyder owns a significant interest and makes bank off those fees

blaxabbath

I don’t even care anymore. Just give me my YouTube unboxing videos and a Lisa Ling Sexbot.