What did we learn? I tell yew whut.
- I suck at GAMBLOR.
- Seriously, I bet ACTUAL MONEYS on Wazzu beating Troi Boiz.
- A-C-C is A-S-S (see Pitt, Miami).
- Everton is who we thought they were.
- Man City made Wakey very happy today.
- Wolves might be in relegation danger.
- Alabama is STILL making Hippo nervous.
- Steerfuckers North, as a program, needs some ADD meds.
Look, these all can’t be great windows, one needs to nap/nod off/pass out a few hours here or there. It’s important, in advance of NFL SUNDAY WOO!!!
South Cakalaky (+31.5) at Georgia (7:00, ESPN)
Look, I get it. The Dawgs have looked good. They emphatically did NOT have a letdown effort against the Blazers. But the Chickens have been sort of a bogey side for Kirby Smart, and this is WAY TOO MANY points to give. Shit, they ain’t Alabama, even if they are probably their closest competitor.
Utah (-8.5) at San Diego State (7:00, CBSSN)
Spidey Senses tell Hippo that Team Secular Big Love will be angry coming off that rare loss to the Stormin’ Mormons. But realistcally, they could just be not much account. I won’t bet it, but am interested to see how the JV BOLTMEN! acquit themselves.
Auburn (+5) at Paedo State (7:30, ABC)
I don’t have to tell you how insane it is for an SEC West squadron (especially now that they’s competently coached) to lay this many points away to a perennial pretender like James Franklin. DO I???
Stanford (-12) at Vanderbilt (8:00, ESPNU)
The potential for hilarity is immense here. I want to bet Vandy, because (i) west-to-east travel; and (ii) every PAC-er fucks up the week after they beat Troi Boiz. But, you know. VANDY.
Oklahoma State (+3) at Boise State (9:00, FS1)
Intriguing watch, BDSM State away to SmurfsFC. Or whatever we is calling them. Expect a pinball scoreline, at the very least.
Arizona State (-4) at BYU (10:15, ESPN)
I was gonna bet this as a trap game for Original Recipe Team Big Love. But Sparky already favoUred, by more than a FG? That seems a bit aggressive. But the hangover effect could be very real. We shall see. Sinners v. Saints Derby?
Fresno State (+11.5) at UCLA (10:45, PAC-12)
Man, I am digging all these staggered kickoff times. And we sure are deep into Tweaker Fixture Land, this could easily go past 2:00a, in normal ppl time. I want SO BAD to see Fatass Chip Kelly brought down off his little Westwood Klavern pedestal.
https://twitter.com/stephenabc30/status/1439491967239409672?s=21
Time for some San Jose vs Hawaii. I love all day sports! From listening to Wrexham to this game. Man, I’m spoiled.
I can’t believe I stayed up for that. I feel about 37% dumber than I was an hour ago.
Fresno State! 40-37!!!!
Suck that, UCLA!
I have never seen a more bullshit defensive stand than the one UCLA just put on. It was truly embarrassing. Shameful. Someone needs to be fired into the sun.
You mean: “Holy shit, that Fresno State team is the best in all of college football. The UCLA defense couldn’t even stop them.”
If you say so. Holy shit, UCLA’s defense couldn’t stop them.
Oregon barely beat us, so it’s not necessarily a fluke. I expect us to get some more votes in the rankings this week
Welp, was wrong about Team Biglove. Either they’re legit or ASU sucks or both.
Asu sucks
I didn’t know Mormons adhered to BLEERGH.
Oh, Chip Kelly’s fat face looks like he just got caught in a park bathroom with the ghost of George Michael
Fresno State D is huge! So big.
SUDDEN-SUDDEN-SUDDEN CHANGE IN THE DESERT
Desert or dessert? Chocolate cake?
We’re hosting some (vaxxed) friends for football tomorrow for the first time in what feels like forever. Looking forward to some sense of normalcy again
Drink some Canadian gin!
I’m back in the US. Seriously considering moving to Kyiv, fantastic city with a low cost of living
Buy now before the ruble takes over.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4fFNBTXGPQ
Welcome back!
Thanks! It will be interesting trying to stay awake while watching the games tomorrow!
Welcome back! I was just wondering the other day where you’ve been. Haven’t seen your face ’round here in a little while.
It was a fantastic trip!
Yay, you’re back! Do you glow in the dark from Chernobyl?
Yes, I want to hear about the mutant mosquitoes and the mega sized root vegetables.
I was bitten by some of the mosquitos and now I have the superpower to make people itchy
And here I was thinking crabs. What relief!
Yup! We were actually all going to get tattoos of the radiation symbol in that ink that only shows up under blacklight, but we couldn’t get the supplies
Why would you run that out? UCLA is derpy as fuck.
Careers/Reputations Possibly Destroyed this Dark Side of the Ring:
Ric Flair – though if he’s contrite and pulls the drunk card, he may be okay. He was a different person back then drinking himself nearly to death.
Scott Hall – but same as Ric Flair, if he’s contrite, he may be okay. Its common knowledge he was really messed up.
Tommy Dreamer – he’s coming off like an victim blaming asshole.
Brock Lesnar – exposing himself to Terri Runnels. He can pull the “I was a Young Idiot” card, but if this gets out on social media, pressure from NBC or FOX may force WWE’s hand
Career/Reputations Possibly Threatened this Dark Side of the Ring:
Jim Ross – he allowed Ric Flair to get a pass and his was the most egregious error (except for Mr. Perfect and Brock Lesnar nearly killing everyone).
Rob Van Dam – he causally explained how some wrestlers roofied women’s drinks to “have their way with them” like it was nothing.
I just watched Cruella with Mrs. cola. It was a really good movie but I am a pleb and think shiny things are interesting.
Also, no side effects from 3rd vaxx, I got really stoned and took Decilitre to Paw Patrol in the theatre today.
You gotta respect the stones of a writer and/or director who is gonna try to make <i>dogs</i> out to be the villain.
Was really good. I never got bored and it was super interesting. I am a simple stoner though.
Fuck these Bruins. Fuck em all!
Suck that 4th down conversion.
The UCLA ones and the Boston ones. I’m ok with this.
They just played this song on Money Heist (Season 5, pretty weak, too much guns and gore) and I recognized it, but I’ll be damned if I have any idea where I first heard it.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jW6k6pay3yg
I’m learning intro Portuguese and I have a rudimentary understanding of German And I think I Just said understand the depth of your chair.
Evening
Well good evening my good friend.
Hello married guy, how goes that?
6 days in, still married
“Penn State is a very cohesive team” says the announcer, which I guess you’d expect when literally everyone else in the world justifiably thinks that your program should have been given the death penalty.
Group Hug In The Shower Tonight! – YouTube
Rob Schneider has really cornered the “Mexican-sounding weirdo who says a dumb thing in a crowd scene in Adam Sandler movies” market, hasn’t he?
He’s still an anti-vax piece of shit though.
Oh, yeah. He definitely sucks out loud as a person and an actor!
On the DFO Scoreboard:
Warming up in the Bullpen:
R. Flanders
T. Flanders
Mike McCarthy would punt here, try to pin PSU deep, then get the ball back.
Our collative hivemind could call a better game than some NFL coaches
That was DERPtacular, Auburn.
I want Penn State to lose this game, and frankly every game they play from now until the heat death of the universe, but that was a shit play call and the Auburn WR absolutely took a dive.
Three borderline calls made by the SEC officiating crew in favor of the SEC team, that’s possible… seven borderline calls made by the SEC officiating crew in favor of the SEC team, there’s an outside chance… but nine borderline calls made by the SEC officiating crew in favor of the SEC team– I’d like to see that.
Guess we’re not gonna call that elbow to the head the Penn State defender just laid on the Auburn TE.
Bonix, the healthy, robust tonic I drink to strengthen my bones. It contains the doctor recommended amount of boron, which is great for bones!
Huh, my doctor has me on a steady diet of Monix.
To help your… moans?
Figures Paedo State has a white out tradition. They have a habit of covering things up.
Hey, that’s my mom yer talking about!
—Michael Nesmith.
She invented Liquid Paper. Witeout or howeva you spell it came later.
In other news, Dark Side of the Ring just did the “Plane Ride from Hell” and Tommy Dreamer does not know how to read a room.
(about a drunken, naked Ric Flair cornering a flight attendent swinging Lit’l Naitch in front of her, and I’m not talking about Charles Robinson)
“What Ric Flair did then was funny. If he did it now, it would be wrong, but back then it was funny.”
I had the same reaction. The only thing I can say in Tommy’s defense is that, judging from the scars on his face, he has take a lot of shots to the head over the years.
I’m halfway watching it. So far the only drunken idiot who coming out of this one in good standing is Dustin Runnels. He may be a drunken idiot trying to win back his ex, but he’s the only one to tell Ric Flair to knock it off.
So I ordered a meat lover’s pizza tonight, (and a Greek salad, to keep my girlish figure), and I did not realize that it was a stuffed pizza, and also that it was a large.
What I’m saying is, if any of you are near CT and feeling a bit peckish, feel free to stop in.
Pizza for breakfast is a thing
Buddy, I got through 1 1/2 pieces for dinner tonight. Barring my son wandering through it’s gonna be breakfast, lunch, and dinner tomorrow, and then breakfast again come Monday.
Which I’m not morally opposed to. My wife, however, is probably gonna file for some sort of protective order to keep me from doing it.
N95 masks are pretty readily available these days. She’ll survive.
It’s food. It’s well produced food. It is far far better than the toaster strudel you had in mind when you shopped that frozen food isle.
You can talk about that long cold trip down the frozen pizza aisle me amigo
Bom dia, DFO.
[looks at remaining 1 lb of tri-tip]
Thanks but I think I’m good.
But is it worth being in the nutmeg state for that?
Late night games? We still don’t know what targeting is.
Whatever it is, it just destroyed that poor kid’s soul.
Targeting, Catches? Things we will never know
Clitoris? Is Pluto a planet?
Let’s ask the expert
I just ate a prodigious amount of tri-tip and potatoes. I’d describe the amount as a “quarter-Reid”.
“Those were good appetizers, RTD! What’s the fish course? And the meat course? And the cheese platter? And the dessert tray? And when is breakfast?”
-A. Reid
So what you’re saying is Reid is just an over-sized hobbit? I’m on board with that.
Now I’m picturing Bilbo ignoring Frodo to the point that Frodo speeds off on his quest to destroy the ring and runs over a toddler with his chariot.
John Lovett now in for PSU; his take on the game? It stinks.
Auburn’s running back (just scored) is Tank Bigsby.
1) Great name for a running back
2) SUPERB name for a porn star
Let’s just wait and see what happens. He may fulfill both destinies.
The way NIL is progressing, its only a matter of time.
Holy shit, Pornhub needs to offer sponsorships to Liberty, BYU, and Baylor students like, yesterday.
My bad, coach.
Holy shit, Apple account management is TERRIBLE.
I’m trying to create a kids account for my daughter so she can iMessage and Facetime family members on an old iPhone (I’m on Android and have been for a long time).
Why in the FUCK do I have to do this from an iPhone? Why can’t I do it from my account in iTunes? Why do I have to use an icloud email address for her account name instead of the email address I already have for her? When I agree to the parental disclosure, why does it say “verification required” and ask me to enter a number without telling me what sort of number I need to enter (PIN, birth date, social, etc.)? WHY IS EVERYTHING SO FUCKING HARD?
I do not get why everyone has such a hard-on for Apple products. They’re so incredibly user-unfriendly. Stop Making shit so hard, Apple.
Sorry. I’m ready to throw that fucking iPhone in the river.
As you should. Fuck Iphones.
My first smartphone was the O.G. Android, the G1. I loved it. Had another Android, then went to the iPhone for the 5 and 6. They were great phones, but I’m a tinkerer and missed that aspect of Android. The OS has matured so much and is significantly more user-friendly than iOS. I’m not saying I’ll never go back to iPhone, but they’re going to have to do something pretty drastic to get me to change at this point.
If Hippo was awake he would tell you about the blackberry of his dreams. Zymm too.
Mrs. In TX had that disastrous Blackberry with the click-y screen. What a pile of garbage that thing was.
Apple sucks, sure, but what else are you gonna do, get a Microsoft phone? Who else even makes phones anymore.
I hear the Freedom Phone is gonna be a real game-changer.
https://www.dailydot.com/debug/freedom-phone-security-issues/
I’ve been using Apple products for 30 years and the deterioration in quality in the last few years is extraordinary. If Steve Jobs was still in charge none of these problems would exist.
After Jobs died, it seemed like everything people didn’t like about new Apple products was met with “Steve Jobs wouldn’t let that happen.” I scoffed at it at the time, but I become increasingly convinced that there are a lot of moves Apple has made that would never have made it past the idea stage if Jobs was still around.
I’m consistently amazed by how stupid and wrong some things are on Apple devices, and how the Cult of Mac is completely insensitive to these things.
Their marketing is and has pretty much always been without peer. They make their products seem extraordinary and exciting. And there’s a lot about iPhones that work really well, if you simply want to set it up and leave everything as the default.
But God help you if you want to do anything beyond that. It’s like they just set out to make things more difficult than necessary.
FUCK ITUNES WITH THE FURY OF A THOUSAND SUNS
Indeed.
The Reedley fucking Tigers made their longest bus ride in like forever.
To Santa Clara.
Santa Clara? They owe me money!
Reedley 34
Santa Clara 17
These motherfuckers were supposed to be hard and shit.
Four and 1/2 hour bus ride home has to be harsh if you think about it.
Reedley College is 3-0
My lawyer informed me that it was Santa Rosa and not I repeat NOT Santa Claus.
Hey man, don’t leave with facts.
The Utes fucking suck. Just got picked off by the Foo Fighters drummer.
The 11 year old girl plays football now?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDpbw9V_fiA
I’m pretty sure even she could easily defend their receivers.
I saw this tonight, so now you have to as well
when you accidentally collect all the Sodomy Stones
The Power Bottom Stone is his favorite.
There are 5 Sodomy Stones, one for each finger.
Power Bottom Stone
Leather Daddy Stone
Bear Stone
Twink Stone
Bi-Curious Stone (this will eventually be the Gay Stone, but we’re all just waiting for him to figure it out in his own time and we’ll be supportive and loving when he does)
Jesus, hit the alarm harder, why don’t you?
Proof that Tony Stark has a sense of humor.
orig (540×197) (yandex.net)
I need Boca Juniors to hold on or my day Gamblor day is absolutely trash.
Bristol night race for the playoff cutoff wooo!
/ crickets
Bristol Rovers, or Bristol City?
Last night’s finish was fantastic. Hope tonite’s race can provide similar drama.
It’s on here (back and forth with Pedo St). Rooting for, let’s say, Kyle?
Busch, not the guy who casually drops n-bombs.
Best Kyle!
Your Auburn preview sounds like you think they’re favored. They are not.
Also, count me among those who think Team Big Love is gonna lay an egg tonite.
Made yeah rights flat bread pizza for dinner. Still a family favourite.
Thank you yw
Boca Juniors, never a doubt. Need me some Red Bull Bragantino later. South Americano and then sexcsiMexi let’s gooooo!
Alabama 2021 is what you get when you let Bill O’Brien run the offense (see: Houston Texans when Watson-to-Hopkins isn’t saving their bacon). They’ll still probably go undefeated because: Alabama, but put BOB in charge of, say, Kentucky’s offense, and you’d get *vastly* different results.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E_l2g3_WQAAo6ii?format=jpg&name=large
Ohio State won, but they gave up 20 points to Tulsa and their QB’s numbers were pedestrian. If they are leaving this game pleased with themselves, they are definitely Outback Bowl bound.
Now, GO WAR DAMN EAGLE
UNCLENCH ROLL DAMN TIDE!!!
Not their finest effort, but it’s still a win. That’s pretty much my attitude towards cleaning.
Mine is “yell at the chilluns in between housekeeper visits.”
Housekeeper. Fancypants. I am the housekeeper. And the chef. And the laundress. And the chauffeur. And the secretary. And the nurse. And the therapist….
Don’t forget exotic dancer for Gumby as well.