Lovely October Nights – Saturday Open Thread

There are times when I wish October would last forever.  Driving with the car windows down.  Watching leaves change coloUr.  FITBAW getting more and more interesting.  No elections or fucking holidays to stress over.

Shit, I don’t even have an NC State or Everton fixture to trouble me this weekend.  I mean, sure, the Donks – but win two Superb Owls in one’s adult life, and the fan pressure is greatly reduced.  I’ve had my special moments, thanks.  Anything further would just be a bonus, and I’d feel greedy expecting/agitating for it.

Anyway, the night slate contains more channel-flippy options, but I wouldn’t call the slate affirmatively good.  Maybe next week?

TCU (-2) at Texas Tech (7:00, ESPN)

I assure you, Bloodeyes have done absolutely nothing to merit road-favoUrite status.  Guns Up!! may not be good, but they’re at least sentient.

Michigan (-3) at Nebraska (7:30, ABC)

Michigan, on the other hand, HAS done some work to date – but this spread would be waaaaayyyyyy higher except that everyone believes Harbs the Lesser will eventually stub his toe.  Cornfuckers might not be as bad as they looked in the Week Zero trip to Champaign-Urbana (hey, there’s a new nichkname idea for the former Illini – Rootless Cosmopiles), but I also wouldn’t call them good.  They have the look of that 6-6/7-5 team that litters the mid-week December exhibition schedule.

LSU (+2.5) at Kenfucky (7:30, SECN)

This line’s already a movin’ – it was at +3 when I moneyline bet the Tiggers – because (i) LSU is a desperate, cornered animal after flopping late against Auburn last week; and (ii) Blue Moons have zero experience with, not aptitude for, playing with affirmative expectations.  They’ll spit the bit, just you watch.

Alabama (-18) at Texas A&M (8:00, CBS)

Hey y’all, remember when Jimbo was gonna see all that assembled talent gel into a real contender to the Saban throne?  When the media types (who LOVE used car salesman-types who “win the offseason” – see Brown, Mack) insisted he was a real coach, not just some halfwit trying the “Rick Perry wearing glasses to look SMRT” trick?  Even Pepperidge Farm chuckles at that one.  ROLL DAMN TIDE!

Utah (+2.5) at Southern Cal (8:00, Fox)

Something tells me the teevee folk didn’t expect these to each have two losses, when setting this for national coverage.  Oh well, I still have “will be interesting” vibes.  You never know what you’ll get with either squadron.

UCLA (-16) at Arizona (10:30, ESPN)

When I mentioned “depth” earlier, that was the exclusive provenance of the 7-8 kickoff window.  The Tweaker slate is pathetic, much like the state of JV Bear Down FOAR Midterms’ athletics.  Westwood Klavern struggles when they have to do any MOAR than “rush 30 times for 250+ yards” – but the Mildcats will accommodate.  GET YOUR REST FOR MANDATORY WATCH MORNING.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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blaxabbath

THESE ARIZONA WILDCATS I CALL THEM ASHLII BABBIT BECAUSE THEY’RE DEAD.

Doktor Zymm

Just got in to Chicago and there is traffic at midnight cuz it is still construction season, lol

yeah right

That sucks. I took a cab in Denver because the flight was delayed and we hit the same thing. 75 bucks and it would have been just as quick on a 12.50 metro rail.

Doktor Zymm

We actually cleared it already, turned out to be a short backup!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Two seasons in Chicago; winter and construction

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I thought there was also “death” and “mud”.

yeah right

An old ass Nebraska story:

Moved from Barstow to the Jersey Shore because that seemed like an obvious upgrade from Barstow.

We had a Ford Fiesta loaded with our shit and we were also carrying best friend’s dog and I’m holding my cat, Shithead.

Yes that was her name.

And we were towing a motorcycle trailer with both of our bikes on it.

We drove up the fucking Rockies in a Ford Fiesta towing 2 motorcycles.

It broke down, not surprisingly in… Lincoln Nebraska. The exit off of the interstate was Cornhusker Highway.

Grind off to the motel with the car riding directly on top of the tires.

I’m fucking whipped and destroyed by mosquito bites, my only known allergy.

Park our broken ass Fiesta and check into a motel.

Best friend Mike says “We need beer! I’ll walk and get some.”

I acquiesced.

He walked for 4 miles because they don’t sell beer at mini markets in fucking Nebraska.

Buddy has been running hard for 2 plus days with zero sleep.

I ordered a pizza and I’m half way murring through when best friend walks in carrying a case of Bud.

Says, “I saw you walking towards me a couple of miles ago but you turned into a mailbox.”

Next day get the car fixed for a ridiculous amount then drive to Ma’s in Davenport Iowa.

Best friend Mike sleeps for 36 hours straight. Ma thought he was dead.

“He’s not dead, Ma. He’s Mike.”

I go out drinking with my old Quad City friends and come home.

Next day Ma has taco night. Best friend Mike wakes up, eats like a dozen tacos. Drinks a 12 pack and falls out again.

Next day we get up early, pack the car and drive to Jersey non-stop.

Got to Belmar on the Saturday night of Labor Day Weekend 1985.

And that’s this Nebraska story.

I have more.

Doktor Zymm

Nebraska is officially the most boring portion of a cross country drive, so I guess you at least made it slightly more interesting by breaking down there?

yeah right

It starts with the corn just outside of Denver.

Then it’s nothing but corn and soy beans for a thousand miles and all of Eastern Colorado, Nebraska, Iowa, well fuck that goes all the way through most of Illinois, Indiana and Ohio too.

Fucking hell. I have had a driver’s license in Illinois and Iowa. I had a voters registration card in Iowa and voted in a presidential election there!

Jimmy Carter.

Not sure where I was going there.

blaxabbath

This grainy ass broadcast makes me sure this UCLA-Arizona game is going to produce some legendary highlight on the last play.

blaxabbath

College commercials are an interesting genre.

Brocky

As long as notre dame doesn’t make the playoff, I’m happy

Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

Alright, who’s got a Fury/Wilder link?

yeah right

ESPN sent me an email with a “Special Offer” for 79.99.

I humbly declined.

Anthony In TX

Updated JV playoff predictions:
Alabama
Georgia
Iowa
Not Cincinnati

Huh. Looks like they stayed the same.

Spur

Damn that ball veered for a second.

Doesn’t matter Satan will come back stronger and still make the playoffs

Mr. Ayo

What a game of golf!

Spur

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Mr. Ayo

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Mr. Ayo

Satan trades a TD for a QB.

Smart.

Last edited 3 years ago by Mr. Ayo
Spur

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Senor Weaselo

Evening lizard people. Since I posted it in the afternoon thread because I didn’t see the nighter, who won the San Diego County Credit Union Tank Bowl sponsored by Lockheed Martin?

yeah right

San Diego State?

Mr. Ayo

Deleted. Bummer.

Anthony In TX

Awww, drag.

herodotus450

So the entire Alabama offensive still moving during the snap on that play, that doesn’t count as false start/illegal motion? Ok.

Spur

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Anthony In TX

They just advertised the PGA tour with a cover of Cake’s “The Distance” by Relient K… except a) that song isn’t about being some unstoppable champion, b) the cover version’s changes the chorus’s lyrics to say, “She’s going the distance” as they’re advertising the men’s tour, and c) it’s a really shitty cover. Was the Cake version really that much more expensive to license?

Last edited 3 years ago by Anthony In TX
SonOfSpam

To answer your last question, Relient K demanded 13 dollars plus a golf towel.

Anthony In TX

Sounds about right.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Now I’m imagining a soulful, stripped down version of the song by, I don’t know…the Watson Twins?

Spur

Nebraska doesn’t deserve any happiness

blaxabbath

I didn’t know there was a chance this wasn’t the norm?

Redshirt

Can we return Texas back to Mexico? Personally, I think it would solve several of America’s problems.

Anthony In TX

As long as you set me up with a nice house in the Rocky Mountains somewhere sorta blue, I’ll allow it

yeah right

You’re surrounded by a lot of kindling.
Be careful what you wish for.

Mr. Ayo

Might be difficult with all those walls.

blaxabbath

Imagine the good we could do in the world. We cut loose TX — they’ll be fine and can survive on their own with us holding their nuts as their biggest trade partner.

Then we turn to the rest of the world and say we’re taking applications to be the 50th state. We already got AK and HI, we want you all to show us what to bring to the table if we allow you to join our republic. And don’t just tell us; show us. Build your infrastructure or clean your roads and we’ll open up trade support so you can get your economy working– but it won’t be gunning until you get accepted. Talk about bringing the free market to the world. Getting rid of TX would bring us one step closer to world peace.

Last edited 3 years ago by blaxabbath
Spur

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Mr. Ayo

Have to believe Satan settling for FGs is going to backfire.

Anthony In TX

Considering that A&M’s offense has ground to a screeching halt, they might just be okay.

Mr. Ayo

Their defense ain’t anything to brag about either.

Satan wins again.

Mr. Ayo

Dammit, I was right.

Spur

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Mr. Ayo

Cornfuckers just corn poled themselves.

Spur

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herodotus450

Every college football “voter” who put Michigan in the top 10 should have their eyeballs gouged out and stuffed into their ballsacks which are then sewed back up.