I’ve tossed this up a wee bit early because thar be some baseball playoffs going on as well as CFL ball for the (not exclusively tho) Canuckians who are on holiday.
Fallout:
-Well, what the else am I gonna talk about? The fookin’ G-men are done and I’m almost grateful. I can now shift from, “There’s A Chance!” mode into, “Let’s Look Closely At This Rebuild” mode. I lied-I’m not happy about that either.
-“Cowards! All Of Them!” Coaches that settle for the 45+ field goal attempts towards the end of games when it’s 4th and 5 or better. (Hippo breaks this down much better on a relevant game basis in his ‘Thoughts”) Look at the stupidity this generated in the Cincy/GB game. GUH!
-“Oh, You Thought I Was Done?” So I went onto some Giants sites and quickly was bogged down in the minutiae of “Is Kadarius Toney an undisciplined immature young fella or is he showing his fire/feisty nature?” argument. DO BETTER INTERNET! As for my opinion about him? When he gets the ball in his hands it looks like he’s on ice skates and defenders are wearing galoshes.
-The followup on the “Is Herbert matchup-proof?” question might be a resounding ‘YES!’ (I was heavily invested in this answer in 3(!) different leagues.) Their sked starting in week 13 is Giants, Chiefs, Texans and Broncos.
-I’d rather lay on the surgery table at Unit 13 than cheer for the Cowboys but damn, they have an entertaining team. Diggs has almost single-handedly solved the Cowboys problems in the secondary. I’d argue that his six INTs make him one of the most valuable offensive players on the team. Giving the ball back to the O puts great pressure on the opposing team, helps the O find some rhythm, gives them extra opportunities to wear down the opposing D and allows their D some extra rest. (you get a pick 6, you’re right back on the field)
To The Game!
Colts/Ravens:
-This would be a great time for rb Taylor to go bananas. You know, that would be great for his confidence, his self-esteem, his sense of self-worth and my chances of winning.
-Those dirty Ravens! The only ones that knew about this 100 yards rushing team record! They are after it tonight. All the living remaining members of the mid-70’s Steelers look around, thoughtless, just as always*.
*when I typed ‘the remaining members of the mid-70’s Steelers’ what I meant was Terry Bradshaw
Get to the tippy tapping.
Merde. Here comes the placement kick.
Child’s Play will now have to reboot and change the dolls name
Jay?
Is Fatty anywhere in the League now, or is he just collecting his Redacted payoff checks?
A movie about a doll so stupid it just constantly gets stuck in corners and falls down stairs?
Pretty amazing that The Shield didn’t at least give NBC a veiled heads-up, before Tirico and Dungy wiped their asses with what remains of their dignity.
They value the dignity of Goodell much more than their own.
Doesn’t get much more insensitive then leaving Dungy hanging like that.
Wait is he really gonna get fired?
he resigned just now
“You can’t fire me, I quit you fucking (deleted) mother-(deleted) (deleted)-suckers!”
Jon Gruden, showing he’s grown from this learning opportunity.
Nope. He already DID get fired.
Out of respect the NFL should go ahead and vacate Gruden’s super bowl win with Tampa Bay. But who can remember what year that was? Better just vacate all of Tampa’s super bowls to be safe.
It’s only fair.
NFL lackey: “Gruden said some very racist stuff about DeMaurice Smith”
Goodell: (shrugs)
NFL lackey: “He also called you a pussy and a faggot”
Goodell: “Get the rope.”
Tomorrow, the Raiders will announce their interim coach, Juan Groodin.
Josh Groban wanders in the door
The press room goes wild
What’s his brother, Gruden The Lesser doing?
Gruden fired!
I heard Foul Ball Guy caught a ball at some boring basedball game; you know what that means:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qK1ga44ZxI&t=30s
I saw him when I went to Fenway for the Wild Card. He was out on Landsdowne looking to shag balls from batting practice and talking into a video.
I told my friend that we had the opportunity to be heroes, but not without going to jail.
C’mon, Humps. You need to take this clock down to zeroes.
The most surprising thing about this Jon Gruden situation is that he knows how to use email.
The URL he uses:
http://www.creedthoughts.gov.www\creedthoughts
Called the Corona Hotline and Tony Romo walked him through it.
Shit dicks
Wander Franco with the 2 run HR
Now it’s Rays 3-Sox 5
Game is getting tight…😬
LoL
OCG
“go Wander out to the mass pike motherfu****”
https://twitter.com/TomPelissero/status/1447729071673257989?s=20
$100 million well spent!
Damn it, I wanted to hear the third tranche of oopsie-doodles
Who says we won’t?
(crosses fingers)
Urban Meyer has to go out and celebrate with a bunch of 20 year olds
Meyer will be 0-5 next week and screaming the n-word from the top of the stadium in an effort to get fired.
In Jacksonville, that would get him elected mayor.
The Lolphins will challenge for that L.
“No no, I said re-sign. How about 10 more years?”
Jesus, I was just copying the embed code on that. This is happening FAST. There must be some really, *really* awful stuff in there.
What the NYT already reported is pretty bad, so yeah, waiting for Gruden III: In Search Of The NWord
THIS GUY GRUDEN I CALL HIM XMAS APE BECAUSE HE JUST GOT CANCELLED
Whatever happened to Ape? Did he ever get out of the internet burn book?
Nope. Still on about it. Even today.
That’s a shame. I liked him back in the KSK days. Even bought his book.
It’s windy as hell out here in Los Angeles right now. I hope nothing catches on fire.
It’s crazy up here in Big Bear. We had thunder, lightning, snow, hail, and I’m pretty sure there are locusts on my roof.
“Me too. I hate flamers”
Jon Gruden
Out-fucking-standing
https://twitter.com/ProFootballTalk/status/1447724165079969792?t=v1FaNm4h8kJVt2HxuQYtcA&s=19
This is like a game of chess/checkers with two Alzheimer’s patients shitting themselves
You bastard, that’s my exact fetish.
Do you require a blunt or a fine red with that sir?
(damn this guy’s good)
Excuse me, boy. What is your current employment situation?
Is that for real or is it just Florio talking out his ass?
NM I just saw the new stuff. Yeah, sounds pretty plausible.
Is that for real or is it justFlorio talking out his ass?Yeah. Shaming the Raiders. That’ll work.
Update;
OCG is gonna leave shortly.
Got em a shot of Jack Daniels.
It’s rocking!
So the way I see it is that Young Davis should 100% fire Gruden. His dad would have for sure. He hired Amy Trask against the ways of the times. Interesting to see what ole’ bowl head will do, he does have a gay player on his team. I want more of the emails. Feed me the dirt!
Fun Fact: “Enjoying crabs in Baltimore” is what the denizens of that blighted abscess call their Senior Prom.
This is far and away the best contriibution to society that any former Redacteds executive has made.
And Gruden has always been THAT GUY, so none of this really surprises. What drops my jaw is that he didn’t get ahead of this in responding to the first e-mail. The same recipient, “bro” conversation, and he didn’t expect the other show to drop? Your average 8-year old would know better.
Though maybe he will say he just meant Goodell reminded him of a bundle of sticks, in another tortured analogy that TOTES makes logical sense.
Gruden thought he was bigger than the league is my takeaway. Fucking incredible!
It will be hilarious that Jon Gruden’s final game will be a loss to the Bears.
I am sure Mark Davis is discussing contractual options now, with the rest of his fellow Guilty Remnant.
Oh shit, the cherry on this wacky sundae.
Urban Meyer learned to hack emails quick.
“Urban Meyer didn’t hack shit.” – the man known only as ‘5Chan’
HE’S BACK
Oh you poor, naive fool. He never left.
Update;
OCGs favorite player is on this Sox team Xander Bogarts.
Bar is ROCKING!!
This wasn’t accurate when I first posted it (he said he *expected* to be hospitalized, but the following day was boasting about how much better he felt after gargling with fetus-generated mouthwash) but it’s accurate now!
Good. Hopefully he bites it soon.
I don’t wish for his death, but I’d be fine with the cessation of his life.
I’m actively wishing Allen West die of Covid. Or Malaria. Cholera? Infected spider bite?
Look. I’m not going to be picky here.
Allen and Gruden also mocked Caitlyn Jenner, who received an award from ESPN in 2015 after she transitioned.
I guess it’s not all bad.
I mean, she sucks out loud and all, but not because she transitioned from being a man. I doubt they were making fun of her politics or public persona.
Yes, she’s an asshole regardless of gender, but not because of transitioning.
Caitlin Jenner should not be made fun of for being trans.
But she should be made fun of for many, many other reasons.
She needs to return her Olympic decathlon medal. She was cheating, pretending she was a man.
Also, I have zero respect for trannies. Buck up and accept the circumstances, but quit whining. You’re not special.
THIS GUY MICHAEL SAM, I CALL HIM FA–“Thanks so much, Jon, now down to Melissa Stark. Please, dear God, Melissa, say something that will distract us!
Dakota Jeebus, you fucking toolbox.
At the grocery store this am, I noticed Snoop Dogg-branded wine bottles. This timeline confuses Hippo something fierce.
Wait til you get a load of his colab with Martha Stewart!
“21 Crimes, but extra tannins isn’t one of them”
That’s outstanding.
I had his 19 Crimes red blend. Was actually pretty tasty.
30% Cabernet, 25% Petite Syrah, 45% Sizzurp
It wasn’t gin, juice, and ketamine, but I caught a nice buzz.
Malone University?
Sam, Karl, or Bugsy?
“Mo Allie-Cox” is what Lindsey Graham wants next time he visits San Francisco.
Jonathan Taylor has touched the ball 4 times and has 16 FF points.
That’s a pretty fair ratio.
It is fucking bullshit. Throw it to Pittman ffs.
As long as Baltimore promises not to get Murray any points I will concede further FF points to Pittman for the remainder of the game.
That’s ROCKINGGG!
NEW GRUDEN EMAILS DROPPED
Gruden’s messages were sent to Bruce Allen, the former president of the Washington Football Team, and others, while he was working for ESPN as a color analyst during “Monday Night Football,” the sports network’s weekly prime-time telecast of N.F.L. games. In the emails, Gruden called the league’s commissioner, Roger Goodell, a “faggot” and a “clueless anti football pussy” and said that Goodell should not have pressured Jeff Fisher, then the coach of the Rams, to draft “queers,” a reference to Michael Sam, a gay player chosen by the team in 2014.
Kinda takes a little sheen off the whole “that’s not who I am” thing.
“I’m not a racist I just hate fa…”
THIS GUY GRUDEN I CALL HIM AN ASSHOLE, FOR REASONS THAT I DON’T THINK NEED EXPLAINING.
Gonna make tomorrow’s practice awkward when he greets Nassib.
At the rate this is developing I’d be sort of surprise if Gruden were at tomorrow’s practice.
This guy Gruden, I call him a picture in Jim Nantz’s wallet because he is fucking toast.
Okay, pardon my gullibility: is that real? Is this true?
He’s gonna be radioactive for awhile if that’s the case.
It’s real, and it’s SPECTACULAR
(NY Times reporting, just dropped a bit ago)
Dammmmnnnnnn gonna be interesting to see what Davis does with this.
If Gruden’s done, you’re gonna have a bunch of people whining about “cancel culture,” conveniently ignoring that most people would (and should) be fired immediately for using work resources to spread this kind of bigotry and bullshit.
If I sent an email anything remotely like Gruden’s from a work computer at 9 in the morning I’d be escorted out of the building before lunch.
YEP.
I’m technically a state employee. There would be no argument or negotiation.
Oh shit, it is true.
Gruden is a much bigger dick than I ever thought before. Perfect for a Raiders coach!
Well, no wonder Dungy has no problem with Chucky.
Just so long as the Ratbirds eschew placement kicks. Please and thank you.
Looks like they’re committed to 3 and outs so you’ll be fine.
John Harbaugh clearly taking a page from Jim’s Michigan playbook.
Me, comes in from walking the dog, flips one game, sees Taylor drop a screen pass that hits him right in the pads: “Well fuck, that’s not good for my chances against Balls.”
-pause for next play-
“Well hold on now…”
“They’ll never run the same play TWICE”
-genius Bawlmer coaches
They fooled them by running it to the left instead of the right.
Can they do that???
#Tayloryards!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oOv3cuP8M4&ab_channel=mpslife
The assumption that everyone wants “Orange Whips” killed me back then and still makes me giggle now.
Can’t tell you how many times one of us drunk idiots walked into a room and repeated the John Candy line, but it’s a lot.
I would prefer Taylor not go bananas. Thx.
Taylor is going to run for 200 yards or knit me a smart-looking vest. THERE IS NO IN-BETWEEN!
Bad news, liter.
Jesus Fuck, I haven’t even turned on the damn game yet!!!
You may wish to alter your evening plans.
I sure as hell am going to stay away from the Gigantes game at this rate.
Hi, would you please prefer that I not win the lottery?
I would prefer Spam not win the lottery and employ me for basically doing nothing but rolling joints and selecting wine.
I AM looking for a sommelier/blunt artist.
I roll great joints. Just saying.
Booooom!
DEVERS with the homer!
Sox up 3-0
It’s ROCKING!!!!
Update:
OF THe WALLL
Sox got another
4-0!!!!
Update;
Make it 5!!!!
Another off the WALL
Fenway is ROCKINGGggg💯
I’ve got about 6 friends at the game, (none good enough to have invited me, obviously), and I am getting many happy texts.
Fuck Tampa until they move to Montreal.
Gumby’s former boss, who moved us to California from Montana on our dime,without telling us he was in the process of selling the company, is a huge Tampa fan (front row season tix, Gumby went to a World Series game there. ) So fuck him, and fuck the Rays!
Not only does Diggs the DB get all them pickerceptions, he’s also one hell of a returner. Good point about what that does with field position.
Update;
Hanging out at the New England bar again
Watching the Sox game with OCG
Shot taken.
Bar is semi-Rocking!!
“rockingdog is down with OCG.”
-Knaughty By Knature, Canuck Remix
Scotchy, you surely must be looking forward to Mike Glennon performing the Dreaded Giraffe Sprint!
Seriously, am doubling down in my Survivor/Loser pool Week 6. RRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! should murder kill the Gigantes practice squad.
Can you imagine having to tell a team/reporters/your religious advisor that you have confidence in Mike Glennon to lead that team to victory? You’re automatically destroying any credibility.
The upcoming sked is a beast but isn’t that always the case for lousy teams?
The first seal is broken. The first step to Most Glorious Forfeit has occurred. And it’s (check notes) somehow I also knew it would be them.
https://www.cincinnati.com/story/sports/nfl/bengals/2021/10/11/samaje-perine-jackson-carman-dante-smith-cincinnati-bengals-vs-detroit-lions-reserve-covid-19-list/6089381001/
Found a funny;
[first date]
her: i just got out of a serious relationship
me: that’s ok *puts on clown nose* this can be a wacky relationship
Boston was ROCKiNG today!
Marathon Monday!
First the marathon then Red Sox elimination game tonight! 💯
Goooo baseball! ⚾️
“Marathon, huh?” [twirls middle fingers]
-Dok Zymm
I have more confidence in the Sens rebuild than I do the Giants. At the very least I can see something of a pattern emerging from Pierre Dorion’s draft strategy. I just don’t see that from Gettleman. The latter will go down as a “Hog Mollie” wingnut but has drafted rb Saquon, qb Jones and wr Toney with some of his 1st round picks.
CFL METRIC SCORING SYSTEM UPDATE:
It’s HamTor 12-5.
Now what is it?
HamTor 20-15.
How’s the bird?
Update: TorHam 21-20.
23-21 HamTor
And it’s 24-23 TorHam
No bird this year.
How was yours?
Oven is broken, been waiting on the part for 3 months. Premade sandwiches over here.
Damn that sucks.
Have always wanted to do the deep fry turkey thing, but too scared and don’t have anything big enough to do it
We bought a turkey fryer a few years ago, panicked, and sold it on OfferUp for what we paid.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVyA6h-K_Lc
OMG you guys
https://www.theguardian.com/world/gallery/2021/oct/11/alpaca-and-llama-therapy-for-care-home-residents-in-germany-in-pictures
https://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/alpacas-cookham-maidenhead-berkshire-b959706.html
They’re using alpacas as therapy animals and turkey guards.
I did not anticipate ever writing that last sentence.
He throws for over 300 yards with no INT’s and then jets overseas to comfort the elderly? I’ve seriously underestimated Davis Mills. That’s on me.
They didn’t just draft him for his arm.
They drafted him for his loving arms.
As it stands, the Giants would have 2(!) picks in the top 9 of the draft next year. But I trust that the Bears can be even shittier than they now are.