You gots gots to git it!
(also Happy Alcoholism Evening, if y’all happen to be Irish and not yet passed out)
12W New Mexico State (+6.5) v. 5W UConn (6:50, TNT)
This is where we hope the Fightin’ Horatios make their name sake happy drink instead of angry drink. Either way, there will be lots of drink and no pants. Hope he and the Mrs. have scheduled an off-day for tomorrow. NM State’s mascot chyron is like a disembodied head atop a tornado. Pretty fucked up.
15E St. Peters (+18) v. 2E Kenfucky (7:10, CBS)
Just utter filth. The MAAC champs not only have “Peter” in their name, but also “Pee” and “Cock.” Fortunately, they will be transferred to another parish post haste.
12E Indiana (+2) v. 5E St. Mary’s (7:20, TBS)
The mostly competent Hoosiers play the Little Train That Could Beat Gonzaga. I was hoping for a larger spread here (PHRASING).
9MW Creighton (+2) v. 8MW San Diego State (7:27, truTV)
Naturally, along with the compressed tip times (BOO), they also give the best game of the window to truTV. Both these teams are kind of interesting, but this might be played at a very slow pace. That’s ok, I can appreciate good physical play. Stomp, stomp, CLAP!
13W Vermont (+5) v. 4W Arkansas (9:20, TNT)
This could also be a barnburner, and will be an interesting clash of styles fo sho. Caveat emptor – I may be overrating all the SEC, Paaawwwwwlllll squadrons, and they lay a B1G 2021-calibre turd. Oopsie doodle.
10E San Francisco (+1) v. 7E Murray State (9:40, CBS)
Perhaps my favoUrite matchup of the whole damned first round. The Dons were actually a powerhouse in the decades before my birth. So, like, a faint glimmer of hope for NC State in the decades after I die? Either squadron is gonna make Sabado very itchy for the Blue Moons of Kenfucky.
I will 100% fight yeeeewwww over the musical virtues of Arctic Monkeys.
13E Akron (+13.5) v. 4E UCLA (9:50, TBS)
Aren’t the Zips the JV side that LeBron occasionally pimps for? Anyway, fuck that fuckhead in all the fuckholes. And Akron has as much chance of beating the Bruins as they had to get LeBron in a Zips uniform.
16MW Texas Southern (+21.5) v. 1MW Kansas (9:57, truTV)
Look, I am an ardent completionist. But staying up for the conclusion of this shitburger is like getting all the way to the end of Dexter. SHAME is your only reward.
Last funny;
Grimace has been euthanized
Either that or the Hamburglar was shot and killed in a robbery gone bad.
Much to the chagrin of the dogs in the neighborhood, someone is lighting off fireworks. I am unclear if this is a celebration of St. Patrick’s Day, Purim, or Kentucky losing.
IT CAN BE SEVERAL THINGS
NOW we are talking!! – Marc T., Parts Unknown
“Don’t you just want to adopt them?” — Matt G., Florida
UCONN/SDSU/UK this one’s for you:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJQxx-MlDYw
Folks, I am back from a disappointingly sparsely attended bar.
My despair over UConn’s somewhat premature exit from the tourney is somewhat assuaged by my at least not being from Kentucky.
Now, how did Kentucky do in their game?
Umm…see, what had happened was…
…okay…they did okay…actually I have a feeling they’re not going to lose again this year.
There’s always the UConn Women
I legit think they’re going to make a ton of noise in that tournament. Fudd seems to have come into her own, Bueckers is getting back into playing shape, and a number of other players have really stepped up their game over the last several weeks. They may not win, but they’re going to be a hard (giggles for 4 hours) out.
Fudd?
Azzi Fudd.
She’s ridiculous
They should have Bernie Sanders coaching this game.
ALLIE THE FORCE WOO
Kentucky lost because Thomas Massie voted against revoking Russia’s trade status. There, I said it. It’s what we were all thinking.
What c___ would vote against… oh, Thomas Massie. Nevermind, its that c___.
THESE PEACOCKS, I CALL THEM RAND PAUL’S NEIGHBOR, BECAUSE THEY KNOCKED OUT A KENTUCKIAN AND MADE A LOT OF PEOPLE HAPPY
Oh thats good
I do believe we have a banner for comments like this.
That’s one less banner that Kentucky is going to raise this year.
Fuck, that’s a sort time with the banner for poor Dunstan. Way to cockblock, Redshirt.
“It’s ok, Dunstan never lasts that long.” — all the girls I’ve loved before
Nah, its within the Banner Refractory Period. It doesn’t count.
Agreed, and done.
The Lord works in mysterious ways after all.
what a Creigh-Creigh ending
OverTime
Aztecs really need to get back to getting baskets
And now the 7ft’er for Creighton is injured…
they’ll be able to make lots of glue out of him, at least
ugh, they’s gonna have to put #11 down
oh, NOW JV Boltmen figure out where the basket is
It’s a shame one of these cheer squads has to go home.
So the weirdest thing happened. I live about five miles from the Ohio River and it look from the distance that the dark skies over Kentucky turned gray, which was weird because it was night, but I could see the skies turn gray. Almost like the entire state of Kentucky became so despondent that it overcame darkness.
Any reason why?
Maybe there’s a new law requiring shoes in church?
1st cousins are off limits?
oh, they’d secede over that
Don’t make me go back to Wilson’s Creek over my attractive first cousins!
I keep forgetting we have a random company-wide holiday tomorrow. I’m still going to the gym early in the morning, so won’t be partying tonight, but maybe I’ll actually finish putting away the laundry I did on Tuesday!
Aztecs vs Creighton has been Rocking these last 20 min
Aztecs really letting this slip away…
CUCKED BY PEACOCKS
ALL TEH BRAKKETS
Gotta say, pretty meta way to avoid playing Murray State, UK!
And the road to the Final Four gets a hair easier for UCLA
Could it be??
Man, is Kenfucky EVAR gon’ React Reasonably
We may have Pauled too soon?
NOAP
If so I wuz gonna blame The Fed smh
It looks like they forgot to update the scores on this game, it says Indiana is losing 74-43
Pray4Brocky
Not gonna lie, I have been more confused today than the Bears accidentally invoking the troubles.
🔥
Thanks for wrecking what was a perfect bracket until now, Huskies.
Oh, UConn, I could never stay mad at you.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=edylGVZXIQc
They were my first loss as well, (followed by an impressive number of others), but I’d be lying if I said I was surprised.
HOLY SHIT BOT WITHDRAWS FROM FIRST ROUND AND HAS TO BE REPLACED. Who? Well, that I’m not gonna say.
Horatio Reacts Reasonably, coming soon to a DFO near you!
I actually am pretty reasonable about this. That Allen kid could not miss, and UConn’s time in AAC wilderness and lack of depth really showed. Hurley has some things he needs to work on as well. But look, my second year at UConn they *defended* an NIT title, which is not what you want. 3-4 years ago UConn fans would have killed hobos like Ontario was about to outlaw that particular hobby to get into back-to back NCAAs.
It is what it is. They’re a greatly improved program, in a legitimate conference, but they have a lot of work to do to get back to the Calhoun years, and Calhoun was a once-in-a-lifetime coach at that.
The Balls on that Aggies kid!
From zero to hexagon!
-Alzheimer Times headline
Tight butthole time for Horatio.
At least this time it’s not because of something seen on the internet, that is.
Y’know….
Slainte, motherfuckers!
“Slant Eye? I mean, that’s a bit much, even for me.”
-B.Parcells
Aggies’ strategy of taking impossible shots is going great.
Aikman looks ready to party!
/Checks hair in cellphone
Buck will try harder tho
Better
I’ve hit worse at closing time.
Has Qaron threatened retirement again, yet?
So far the only thing Qaron has threatened is a Ted Talk.
I will not complain if every AFC West Divisional game is on prime time. Hell, I demand it!
The only downside is the AFC West Champion will be tired and hurt going into the playoffs.
How terrible
That’s too bad because THE OL’ DOUBLE J needs that PRIMETIME MONIES TO PAY HIS LOVECHILD SUPPORT!!!
YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! HE IS FUCKIN’ CRAZY!!!
Speaking of Kenfucky’s opponent, anyone remember Flash of the Pan?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZY5bWuJ3ong&ab_channel=RaulRomero
Found a funny;
one time when i was 11 i went to hot topic to buy a rage against the machine shirt and the cashier said ‘rage against the machine huh? u into their politics at all?’ and i was like “nah man i’m 11”
Best thing I’ve seen so far: the outfit of the Aggies’ coach. Tie’s a little broad but polka dots on burgundy
/chef’s Kiss
//tucks wifebeater into boxer
San Diego St Defense is Rockingggg
Goooo Aztecs!
As a psychological experiment I’d like to see the first round of the tournament played with blind seeding, so none of the teams know which seed they or their opponents are. Wonder how much that plays into wins and upsets and such. Get that fraud Freud on the line stat!
Kidnapped to a secret location: the 2023 Sweet 16.
St. Penis givin Rand Paul U all they want
Davante Adams to Vegas!!!!
QAaron is FUMING right now, I just know it.
He’ll blame vaccines.
DO YOUR RESEARCH
Welcome to the First Inagural Q-aron Rodgers Schadenfreude Day!
[reading about 3rd-rate wide receivers that will barely fit under the cap that he created] “Hey! I’m doing my research!”
-QAaron Rodgers
MVS is a free agent, and Equidistant St Brown just signed elsewhere.
QAron gonna throw to running backs only.
That’s Rikki’s Raiders…
Davante, Renfrowhiteguy, and Waller? Well then.
Hope Horatio’s dog is poised for a long, angry walk.
We just got back. I’m heading to a bar. Based on the texts I’ve been getting the Huskies are not playing up to expectations.
Go on U Connunists!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiSF6MfzgbQ
Magical Pony – WKRP landed Murder Guy, and Hippo is totes jelly.
Hurst or Apple?
Five minutes in and it’s a 5-2 game. I see no reason not to take the dog for a walk, alma mater be damned.
You should go watch the game in a nice Storrs strip mall, which I understand are abundant.
I’ve seriously racked my brain to try to recall any. There used to be one right off campus, but they bulldozed it for the new development. There’s one other I can think of, and that doesn’t have a Radio Shack, so I’m not even sure it can legally be called a strip mall.
.
Honestly UConn flaming out in the first round would not surprise me at all. They are a remarkably dumb team.
Watch them make the Elite Eight, just because.
They could do that, too. When they play like they did against Auburn early in the year, or Villanova more recently, they can beat anyone outside of the top 5. When they play like they did against Creighton they can’t beat, well, Creighton.
Narrator – They would NOT make the Flacco Eight
I need GumbyGrl to send me a UAB Blazers shirt overnight to wear at work tomorrow. They’re in Yinzburgh for the First and Second rounds.
GET ON IT
gonna have cyst goo on it
Gotta make sacrfices sometimes.
LUCKY cyst goo!
https://twitter.com/nihilist_arbys/status/1504574772239388679?cxt=HHwWjsC-1ZSyqeEpAAAA
Happy St. Patrick’s Day from Cincinnati!
You could swap the “noodles” out for grass, and no one would notice.
Makes me long for the days of ‘No Irish Need Apply’
Hate crime.
That chili is wearing one of the worst toupee’s ever.