I was going to write ‘early afternoon’ slate of games but west coasters tend to get cranky if they read that before having their first cup of meth in the morning. Tee-hee.
To The Games!
Falcons/Bengals:
Life at .500 can mean different things to different teams. Cincy didn’t expect this at all and Atlanta fans (there are some you know) are mildly surprised to be at 3-3. The Falcons run game continues apace without Patterson-Huntley, Allgeier and Mariota racked up 160 yards vs the Niners.
Lions/Cowboys:
Dak is healthy immediately after Cooper Rush was exposed by the Eagles. Imagine that. Of all the one win teams in the NFL, the Lions have the most energy.
Colts/Titans:
Tennessee has righted the yacht after starting out 0-2. Is it a bit weird that these guys just played 3 weeks ago? Anyway, the Titans are looking for their second straight season sweep.
Packers/Commies:
Taylor Heinicke and Scary Terry will need a bit of luck against the league’s best passing D. Qaron is playing at a Heinicke-like level these days, his o-line doing him no favors. Perhaps he could have Tom come over and yell at them-it would be a nice change from the usual simmering disdain.
Bucs/Panthers:
The suddenly McCafferty-less Carolina must make do with Hubbard and Foreman. Tampa was once fearsome vs the run but they are now in the middle of the pack at 14th.
Giants/Jags:
This is bizarre-Jacksonville hasn’t beaten an NFC team since 2018, that’s 18 straight losses. The bad news is that the Giants were their last victory. Saquon is on a nice roll but the Jags rank 3rd against the run.
Browns/Ravens:
The AFC North is muddled with 3-3 Baltimore leading the division at 3-3. DeSean Jackson was just signed, his designation being, “an injury to be named later”.
Have at it.
I’m not sure “it knows EVERYTHING you are doing” is the best sales pitch for the Apple Watch.
That’s all we need, our watches recording everything we do throughout the day. We’ll have to start doing more positive chit… how boring.
With all these vaccines I am a walking QR code!
Joe Burrow is on pace for a respectable 884 yards.
Burrow & Boyd are taking ’em to the shed.
WKRP would seem to be back on the air.
Two false start penalties not called by the refs on the Giants-God, I didn’t realize how much I missed preferential treatment by the league!
“I’m gonna get to the bottom of this.” – Andy Reid, confronting a bucket of chicken
Did I pick the wrong week to play Bellinger to show how WAIVER SMRT I am? Sure did, Other Hippo!
I was looking to grab him and saw that you did.
The Giants fans are out-numbering Jags fans 15-1.
Today’s official attendance – 48!
WINCINNATI on Twitter: “The Falcons posted this pic…. https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/14.0.0/svg/1f928.svg https://t.co/RX8zUI8MBZ” / Twitter
Did Joe serve ’em the skyline last night? ‘Cause the birds sure are shitting the bed.
Yup. Hawks continue to play like they have severe intestinal cramps. Well played, Joe.
Mixon uncharacteristically punches it in.
Hit that hole like it was a smart-mouthed white bitch!
Someone’s bench is doing well today.
[struggles to lift 485 lbs]
“Not mine.”
– James Harrison
Let me start to explain why I always root for teams from the state of Utah to lose.
https://twitter.com/peymamas/status/1583925078923673600?s=46&t=aDeT0Aj8Qt1IKQf8lDuO4g
That’s why some Utahn brides are wearing black shoulders.
From soaking to having someone jump on the bed for friction, now this. Man its fucked up in Provo.
FEED TEH BEATIE
I dunno why, but I always feel some kinda way about a former NFL player in the booth during a broadcast of their old team, like a conflict of interest kind of thing – Aikmen and Romo covering Cowboys games kind of thing.
Dude, I was thinking the very same. Sometimes they even (especially Romo) slip into “we” verbiage
Reporter: “What makes that 4-play TD drive impressive is Joe Burrow’s helmet speaker went out, so he had to make the plays.”
So Zac Taylor wasn’t involved? Makes sense.
My fantasy football teams this year are extra shitty.
My Freezer Vodka team reeks like wet garbage.
/but you still beat Hippo
Slaytondown Baby!
They Might Be Giants!
Good lord, looking at the sked it’s seems like an 11 win season. Wait, did I just type that right?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uc_yjslD2XQ&ab
Mike Evans dropping passes like Jimmy Haslam wishes massueses would drop lawsuits.
Boyd Oh Boyd!
Wasted no time gettin’ after the birds…
Damn, Hanson’s must’ve hoovered up an extra big rail this morning. He is PSYCHED & hitting the octo-box already.
Dak it back at it
#WaterAdded
The kids are alright. Loving these mashups
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5bM7xq7nY0&ab
Haha shit, I wanted to say a few words about myself and life before the foosball started, but it took me over an hour of typing to get it set right… and now FOOTBALL is about to start. Dammit.
We ain’t goin anywhere, release away!
Eh, it’s about depression. Football has started, no one has lost their game(s) yet, so no need to bring the energy back down.
I’d feel nekkid without my depression, too. Hang in there, homey.
Just got back after 3 months off for anxiety and depression. I feel you internet friend.
There is no wrong time to talk about anything here. Let ‘er rip!
There’s a Final Destination marathon on AMC you’re interested.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WDly1Oc_P4&ab_channel=MissingPersonsVEVO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLm3Khusq_8&ab
I know that Rypien WILL somehow be worse than one-legged RW. I just can’t fathom HOW, so I am weirdly eager to see it.
Have faith! One of the greatest games in Bengals fandom lore involves Ryan Finley beating the Pittsburgh Steelers. If you played that game on Madden, it would’ve crashed the console for being so unfathomable.
Reminder, we go mandatory again next week. Led by Donks/Jaguras, which would obvs be Must See Teevee anyhow
/this will be Brett Rypien Experience vol. 2, unless Josh Johnson gets a go (no way is any charm slung until after Week 9 bye)
Winning Coach is next PM
they really deserve a Prime Minister Hackett
His offense would do really well against inflation.
They’ll have been in a featured game 5 out of 8 weeks by then. What the bananafuck is going on?
because Everyone LOVES Russell Wilson!
Everybody loves a train wreck! Sorry Hippo.
I mean…NOT WRONG
https://twitter.com/cjzero/status/1584024219637075971?s=20&t=4hZfZPzAJiSgl6kl-aIJMA
Kings stay kings.
Some days, I wish I was in Oregon. But then, I am all like, FUCK YO WEIRD-ASS TIMEZONE
/still, the Pacific Ocean is pretty kewl
I took
Lions/Cows under 48.5
Jets+1
Giants/Jags over 43.5
How the Sweet Jeebus Tittyfuck did you get the Brett Rypien Experience being FAVOURED??
got my bet in on Friday night
Thank you for the consideration. And like Spur said, good MORNING everyone!
Was the meth was free trade and organic?
don’t forget CRUELTY FREE smh
Double J is approaching Al Davis crypt keeper look very fast.
It’s those eyes, man. CREEPY AS FUCK
Morning Folks
Holy crap! The only game I don’t get in this window is Colts/Titans. I’ve hit the motherlode.
Slept through the morning, and it seems Arsenal did the same.
Too busy gettin high in the parking lot last night.
Detroit-Dallas? What the fuck?
They cover the globe for the finest in sports.
It’s just as bad on Fox – Green Bay @ the Commies.
Yep! Those are our games!
Thank you, Jim McKay! These games are trash, and I have to drive back to the desert with the doggo to visit my poor cat. I might as well go early.
Drive safe. May want to hang the barfing cat out the back window.
Barfing cancer cat is Gumby’s problem. He’s staying in Riverside with his dad tonight.I’m just going home for the night because I won’t leave my cat at home alone for more than two days. I’ll go back to Riverside tomorrow, and then we’ll both go home Wednesday when my SIL gets back from Merced. It’s the glamorous jet set lifestyle for us!
I am bummed not to get the entirety of the Brett Rypien Experience.
What did Cincinnati do to deserve Jets/Broncos?
too much self-abuse??
As opposed to Imaginary Team @ Las Vegas? Seems like you came out on top.
Is it thanksgiving already?
Happened a couple weeks back.
Attention GAMBLOR! enthusiasts! All of the following will be WRONG. Adjust your azimuths accordingly. Sincerely, Mush McMushburger
Could mighty whitey get 2 managers sacked in 1 week?
This is y’all’s Ghost Face Killa stage!
Great win, man.
Good morning all. As of today if all goes well Retirement<4. Worst case = Retirement<6.
I’m really hoping it’s option A.
There will be beverages consumed today.
I would kill to retire tomorrow. I have so few needs, I am bummed that I can’t swing it.
Same here. I can’t tell you how hard it is to get dressed, make lunch then get on the goddamn freeway to commute to work every day.
It feels like a prison sentence.
Just making those cross hatches on my prison cell wall each morning.
Awww, cheer up. I’ll get her to whip us up a snack.
I am for sure < 4, < 2 if they piss me off during the next 6 months. I want to get out while I can still be a high impact retired clown.
Exactly. I don’t want to limp across the finish line. I want to sprint across it.
Damn, how much are you betting on the Lions?
That would be <0
How on earth is Theo Walcott still in the Prem?
GEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT INNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Bobby. DiCordova. Reid.
Old man Willian joins the party!
BLACK POWER FOAR MIGHTY WHITEY??
/Ted Lasso’s getting sacked in the moooooorrrrrnnnning
Goddamnit, Afrikan Water Pistols, y’all had ONE JERB
They are losing to an imaginary team.
Drawing, but that’s bad enough. NO HOPE FOAR THE REDSHITE PLS
I got my stupid covid booster / microchip update Friday. I was knocked on my ass through yesterday till about 4p.
Add that experience to the inflation and current crop of GOP candidates and I’m not sure why we didn’t just let this run wild and cull the herd…
ALL THE ONE-WORLD GOVERNMENT ASKS OF US IS PERFECT OBEDIENCE
.
Wentz got some dentz
Carson charged with arson
Asinine riding the pine?
The Suboxone patients have been duly zombified, and all should be peaceful on the ward till kickoff. The place is lousy with angry Commanders fans, but I must say, I DON’T HATE THEM with Taylor Heineke today. Bean Grey has problems, and I get the feeling the big uglies are about sick of Ayahuasca Aaron’s shit.
I really wish they’d have an actual “CCCP” kit, really lean into the meme.
Am I the only one that’s not surprised there are LOTS of Washington fans where Fronk is???
I am starting Horny Fourny (duh) but I have uninspiring bye-week options for RB2. I could go with safety (Rachid White, so I get 100% of MRSApoints), or roll the dice on Justice Hill (who knows how many touches) or Latavius Murray (Nathaniel Hackett is a weakling failson, letting Melvin Gordon pressure him into naming him as the starter).
0.8 PPR, which maybe leans me more towards White (especially since I don’t then need to make a 2nd coinflip decision).
JUSTICE!
I found Documentary Now! last week.
“Kunuk Uncovered” is the funniest and most brillant thing I’ve watched this year.
https://youtu.be/w4L1DQoB-f0
Their take on “Grey Gardens” was gold, too.
Even the so-so films are tight, and most have outrageous and hysterical línes in the vein of “Since the beginnkng of time, man has yearned to destroy the sun”. I lost my breath and chokex from laughing at this from “Co-op”
As a history buff… Nevermind… Agree brilliant. Is that wuzhisname from Mad Men?
Don’t sell short simmering disdain. It’s the foundation of very public meltdown (your marriage may vary).
MITTTRRROOOOOOOO!!!!
bUt He CaNt sCoRe In ThE pReM?!?
What’s got 2 thumbs and put Villa/Bees Under 2.5 in his EPL parlay this morning? THIS GUY!! Holy SHIT are Villa happy to see Gerrard go. 3 goals in 15 minutes!
#BornSlippy