Excuse me, it’s taken most of the day to come down from yesterday’s win. During the game I took several tours of the house because I was all wound up. After the third tour wifey said, “Would you stop? You’re making me nervous!”. I just couldn’t help myself.
Hey, tonight for the football fans (that don’t support either of these squadoos) out there it’s nut-cutting time in that most are inclined to pick a side and boy, it’s rough. Myself, I just can’t think of any scenario whereby I could back Brady. I have wanted Dallas to win at times but only for NFC East purposes that benefit the Giants. I think I’ll remain a neuter here.
To The Game!
Cowboys/Bucs:
-Though he’s not played them very often, Brady has not lost to Dallas-he’s 7-0.
-DAK! has been having himself some wandering balls problems. He’s thrown an INT in seven straight games and has been mistake-free in only two games this year.
-Want to feel old? Dallas hasn’t won a road playoff game since Mike Tyson was convicted of raping Desiree Washington. Oh, what’s that? You want to hear about other things that occurred when the Cowboys last won away from home?
-Barney and Friends debuted.
-Amy Fisher shot Mary Jo Buttafuoco.
-John Gotti was sentenced to life in prison.
-Batman: The Animated Series first began.
-Dre Dre released The Chronic.
-Compact discs outsold audio cassette tapes for the first time.
-Mortal Kombat was released.
-Jay Leno becomes the new host of The Tonight Show.
-The Yankees sign Danny Tartabul.
-Moldova joins the U.N.
-Billy Ray Cyrus burst into the national consciousness.
-Malcolm X is released. (in theatres, not from prison)
-Barry Bond signs the biggest one year contract in MLB history-it’s a staggering $4.7 million bones.
-That’s how long the drought has been. Wow. Helluva job, Jerrah!
Go for it.
Dreamboat sacks are so pleasant
I’d like to see Brady come back
-Aikmen
Fuck all the way off Troy
Hey! What did I… Oh, you mean Aikman.
Carry on.
Joe Buck talking up Staubach and Aikman is enough for my lifetime of Dallas hate to be reborn. Thanks Joe.
“Double the order for tonight’s hookers and blow!”
-J. Jones
Make it triple. It comes out of McCarthy’s paycheck.
“I get paid!?!?”
-Mike McCarthy
Whatever makes his heart explode faster.
Holy shit.
https://twitter.com/griph/status/1615149016496627712/photo/1
What an asshole.
That extra point made it a four score game. Blouses?
It’s over. It’s just morbid curiosity time now.
Redshirt to Brady: If you could throw the ball to Godwin most of the next drive and then throw a TD to Evans, that would be helpful.
https://twitter.com/LeBatardShow/status/1615185745752227840?s=20&t=BbHu2oFtP-d8pEafIqQuEA
Hallelujah Chorus, from Messiah (Music Video) | The Tabernacle Choir – YouTube
Jerry J going to be banging some hookers tonight!
5th times the charm for Maher?
HOLY SHIT McCarthy made the right call!!!!
I am not prepared to live in a universe where this is a regular occurrence.
Wait, wut?
– B Walsh
IT’S GOOD
LET MAHER TRY AGAIN!!!!
YES!!!
Is a Brett Maher FG attempt too much to ask for?
Is Brett Maher still in the stadium?
He’s in the bilge of the pirate ship.
Downing a shitload of grog.
Wow, we have a lot in comment. I’m also drinking and I also can’t make a PAT!
What the actual fuck is 80 for Brady and why is it even a thing?
People are living longer and hornier.
May actually do a post on it.
Not sure any one should see it but please write about it
Oh I won’t see it.
Its like real housewives of South Boston except slightly less homely
Tampa’s kickers just breathed a sigh of relief for not having to join the shankfest.
That would have been fantastic.
Ok, if the N-GCp get a 5th TD, I will maybe watch the PAT
I didn’t think it was possible, but Mike McCarthy’s sweatshirt logo makes him look even stupider than usual…
he looks like a tourist
Mike McCarthy reminds me of a certain movie quote
But imagine how happy you’d be like that
That’s right Tampa, establish the run. You know you want to.
“Chuck Knoblauch” is trending on Twitter and I reiterate my sympathy for Maher.
Could be worse, could be Steve Sax.
He needs a good law-talkin’ guy.
DODGER JOKES
How do you spell Jose Offerman’s last name?
2 “Fs” and 37 “Es”
What do Jose Offerman and Michael Jackson have in common?
Both wear a glove on one hand for no apparent reason.
JosE6.
Na na na na na na na na Batman! Wait, no, that’s bat attack.
https://www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/id/11282853/jose-offerman-ordered-pay-nearly-1-million-bat-attack-case
Could be Billy Buckner. Leon Lett. Scott Norwood.
Come to think of it Scott Norwood only missed once.
Hey, he hasn’t hit Keith Olbermann’s mom… to our knowledge.
https://twitter.com/SpinninBackfist/status/1615115053857923073?s=20&t=BbHu2oFtP-d8pEafIqQuEA
That “sport” is absolutely insane.
No CTE there!
We are sorry about your sore back
-NFL medical staff
Janay Rice apologizes for her role in establishing this sport.
She be at least in the semis
Typical white men making money appropriating a person of color’s culture.
And you wonder why Russians blindly follow Putin
“(Sees everyone making fun of the Cowboys) Hehe. Yeah. You know, I did that. I made the Extra Points longer, y’know? So… what’re you guys doing later? Can I come?”
-Roger G.
Holy shit, I just saw something about that goalie Scotchy cited down below.
Apparently they declared debts of $50 MILLION to various creditors. Who the hell loans that much money to a hockey player?
(corpse of Bear Stearns perks up)
What till Vegas gets an NBA team. Someone is gonna be broke mid season
Ah, this explains it.
https://twitter.com/PhilLeotardo1/status/1615146668126789632
Lehner ‘s business partner was killed by his wife, so you know this whole operation was totally Kosher
https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/35461253/bengals-lt-jonah-williams-dislocated-kneecap-week-week
Jerral is getting old because the Jerral of 20 year ago would have cut Maher after the 3rd miss.
I don’t know what’s worse than a nightmare, but Brett Maher is living it.
Jerral 20 years ago would’ve cut Maher in person while Maher’s wife was giving Jerral an extra-rusty trombone.
https://twitter.com/NFL_Memes/status/1615185225239207937?s=20&t=BbHu2oFtP-d8pEafIqQuEA
Dallas push rush has Brady off page.
THIS TOM BRADY/MIKE EVAN CONNECTION I CALL IT TOM & GISELLE, BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT COMMUNICATING!!!
Evans is gonna fuck that hot Cuban guy?
Mike Evans is fucking his personal trainer???
I don’t judge.
Is that real? If so, damn!
Is it 4-down territory yet?
Brady’s sexuality aside. maybe.
Brett Maher’s extra point theme song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVF0zcqr9Dg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwnC_8_ZeYE&ab_channel=djbuddyloveclassicrr
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yr-SNCtoyPk
🤣
Ryan Jensen is a piece of shit even by the standards of NFL players. If he isn’t a felon yet he will be.
If that moves in next to me I’m absolutely buying an elephant gun.
I’m not sure that’s a fumble, but Godwin’s had a bad hand/arm since early in the game.
Yeah, the Bucs are done.
can the punter do double duty here?
Mike McCarthy will have the Nongendered Cowperson kick a field goal on second down.
I don’t recall ever seeing a placement man miss 4x in a game (on PATs), let alone consecutively.
That’s because it has never happened.
Good things have happened ever since TV went off! Am legit doing billable work.
This poor guy. He’s living the nightmare.
too much happening at once!
THIS BRETT MAHER, I CALL HIM THE MARTIANS FROM SESAME STREET BECAUSE HE’S GOT THE YIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIP
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eO33o0se_Aw
I love them!
My 43 yo spouse stopped in their tracks and watched that like it was the return of Jesus
“Send him to Belize” — Saul Goodman
“Take him to the train station” — John Dutton
I finally get the second reference
Just starting for 2 PT now
Hahahahahaha
OK, that was kinda funny, but it’s time to put Maher to bed now.
“To bed” = get the kill tent
That’s not funny anymore.
Speak for yourself!
Tbh its kind of hilarious
Brett HAHAher
That look on this kicker’s face is priceless.
Hopefully someone giffed it
FUCK.
Sir yes sir!