Your Other NFC Semi-Final Game Open Thread

Are we not entertained? (I’ve no idea of course because this is being typed at 2:30 EST). On to the next one…

To The Game!

Cowboys/Niners:

-Has Prescott righted his football ship? Down the stretch he had 11 INT’s in seven games but last week against a less-than-stellar Tampa D he had his way to the tune of 4 TD tosses and one rushing score.

-Game Manager Purdy (so they say) has at least 2 TD passes in his last seven games. One can do quite a bit of damage when surrounded by a suffocating amount of talent. More importantly, you’d think that an afterthought draft pick would be at a pick-per-game pace but he’s only had the 4-limiting mistakes is the key part of his success.

-With the game expected to be close it’s up to Brett Maher to get out of his own head and not leave points on the field. I’ve no doubt that the PAT problems have been fixed but what if they need a long-ish field goal at some point?

-Over the last part of the season DeMeco Ryans has increased his usage of two high safety sets, thus taking away longer throws towards the boundaries. Look for Dak! to work the middle of the field before taking some longer shots downfield.

-McCaffrey Time For Sure: The Dallas run D has given up 100+ yards rushing in 11 of 18 games and of those 11 six times the number has been 150 or more. They ‘held’ Tampa to 52 but that’s because Brady decided to throw 66 times.

-Two San Franny defenders will need to have bounce-back games. Nick Bosa was held without a pressure for only the 2nd time in his career last week-his 18.5 sacks this year say that he’s a much better player than that. Cb Charvarious Ward rarely gives up more than 50 yards to an opposing receiver but he was torched to the tune of 98 yards and a TD on six receptions last week.

Have at it.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Why not take a shot here?

WCS

“Way…*hick* ahead of… you.”

— Brett M., CA

Horatio Cornblower

Looks like Dallas is going to have to overcome Bad Dak today.

Spur

BAK!

Brick Meathook

Half the field goes CW, the other half CCW. Hilarity ensues.

Redshirt

“Pollard is out. My +10000 parlay involving Ezikel Elliot may work after all.”

(DAKception happens)

“…or not.”

Spur

am confused buy the Dak decision to throw into double coverage. WTF!

Mr. Ayo

It could be 10-7 right now

Cecil Rhodes

Oh Dak. So generous!

fleshwound_NPG

jerrah is confused as to which guy he now has to murder at halftime

SonOfSpam

Pick Drakscott

Doktor Zymm

Spr’ah making a bid for deityhood

Spur

I’ll watch Nascar when they remove all the fan safety features

fleshwound_NPG

so…talladega then

Spur

pray for Pollard

Horatio Cornblower

I do not believe an ankle is supposed to move the way Pollard’s just did.

Redshirt

Brett Maher’s face looks like the victim in every Law & Order: SVU cold opening.

SonOfSpam

dun DUN

(Law & Order sound cue or a Maher double doink? j/k he doesn’t get close enough to hit any post)

WCS

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fleshwound_NPG

ouch ouch ouch

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Great, now they’re in range for a chip shot field goal for Maher to shank.

The Maestro

Let’s not forget that this is former (and possibly future) Ottawa REDBLACK Brett Maher lighting up the internet right now.

The Maestro

Ice cream with chocolate sauce for dinner, because I’m feeing a little sick and fuck you, Food Guide recommendations.

Senor Weaselo

What flavor of ice cream, and what brand of chocolate sauce? Critical questions!

SonOfSpam

Not a sandwich regardless.

King Hippo

upside-down open faced sandwick obvs

The Maestro

Ah. Incorrect once more. Through generous use of the transitive property, I will prove you wrong once more. Let’s see.

Ice cream contains dairy, eggs, and sugar, all proto-sandwich ingredients as they are often used in making bread.

Chocolate is perhaps seen by many to be a bridge too far in terms of sandwich ingredients, but let us not forget that the classic ice cream sandwich couldn’t exist without its significant contribution.

As such, even with the vessel and utensils used to consume it, I consider this to be on par with many other sandwich-type meals such as croutons in a salad or a cheese-topped enchilada or manicotti roll in a bowl.

The Maestro

Just a plain vanilla with the Nesquick squeeze bottle, because times are tough but also I’m a simple man at heart.

Cecil Rhodes

Does Dallas dare to defy our diabolical deity (Shank’lor) here?

Mr. Ayo

Bring out the Maher!

ballsofsteelandfury

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Wakezilla

As a child of the 90s, I was excited to see a Cowboys/Niners playoffs game. But holy shit this game has been boring.

Brick Meathook

What Gregg is saying is that penalties are bad

fleshwound_NPG

great strategy by the niners giving the cowboys great field position to make mccarthy bring his kicker out

Spur

ziti is ready!

SonOfSpam

(what my mom said when my prom date came to the door)

ballsofsteelandfury

Fuck, that’s funny!

SonOfSpam

At the time it was awkward.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That and Solid

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“No, that’s dumb, Chris. You should never call him that. Call him anything else, but not ‘good as’.” – Berman’s producer, after having overheard your promise

Last edited 1 year ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Doktor Zymm

Historically, 49rs wanted to strike Gould, so must suck knowing all your teammates want to hit you

SonOfSpam

Mattress Mack put a shit-ton of cash on the ‘Boys (money line I think), so go Niners which as a Rams fan is painful to say but the enema of my enema etc.

Horatio Cornblower

I saw that, and it hurts even more as a Dallas fan.

Doktor Zymm

“A Tale of Two Scores” by Charles Kickens

SonOfSpam

It was the widest of lefts, it was the widest of rights…

Horatio Cornblower

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SonOfSpam

“Would you shank me? I’d shank me.”

Spur
WCS

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Doktor Zymm

Do you think Deebo is related to Beemo?
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Horatio Cornblower

There’s that famous discipline from a Mike McCarthy team.

Spur

Every night Mike promises just 1 root beer float but that always turns into 2 floats

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Nice.” – Philip Rivers

fleshwound_NPG

if im the niners no way i ever punt again. the jerrahs need to go all the way to the endzone now.

King Hippo

Dan Quinn calling a great gameplan (I swear I was typing this while Olsen said the same)

Horatio Cornblower

He’s going to make someone regret making him a head coach next season.

King Hippo

/probably Donks WOO

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Now I’m kind of annoyed that it got blocked. That was absolutely going to miss.

Doktor Zymm

But now the Dallas coaching staff has to make even tougher decisions which they will probably screw up!

fleshwound_NPG
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’d prefer it if we pretended that Bill Maher didn’t exist.

Wait, no. Skip the “pretend” part.

SonOfSpam

That’s really good.

Spur

Dallas just needs to start going for 2 at this point

King Hippo

Lotta work to gain two feet.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Please keep this game close enough to come down to a Cowboys field goal….

Horatio Cornblower

They’re in four down territory the rest of the game.

fleshwound_NPG

lol that wouldve missed by a mile

jerrah needs to make another visit to the mound and bring in the lefty

King Hippo

We are getting a thunderstorm in North Cakalaky (and it can’t be more than 40 degrees out). That will keep me from ordering #ShamePizza at least.

WCS

/pill bottle smiles alluringly

King Hippo

yeah, she’s a spicy little minx!

Spur

In Vegas, we got a good taste of those Cali storms the last 2 weeks. So nice having long steady rain showers. Felt like being back in Texas.

Doktor Zymm

Ooh, now THAT is interesting! Do they give him another chance on the grounds that a block isn’t necessarily his fault? Or do you not risk it on the grounds that it’s still a miss and it’s not great for his mental state even if it would have otherwise been good?

Horatio Cornblower

He was missing that wide left no matter what.

He has to sit the rest of the season.

SonOfSpam

Silly. He can’t kick while he’s sitting. Gotta be standing for that.

WCS

PAT: Achilles heel of the Nongendered Cowpersons, Destroyer of Careers, Scourge of The OL DOUBLE J’s Cocaine-Addled Nostrils

Horatio Cornblower

Are we sure Brett Maher isn’t filming a movie for M. Night and just not telling us?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Take a load off, girlfriend. I got this.” – Blappt, forming a temporary alliance with Shan’Khor

fleshwound_NPG

so is jerrah gonna visit him again

King Hippo

yeah, Bill Maher TOTES doesn’t have extra point PTSD (dude looks like someone just shot, then fucked, his dog)

Recovery Whiskey

Hahahaha

Spur

Blocked PTA, not a miss right?

Mr. Ayo

The biggest moment of the game is upon us.

Let’s do this Maher!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m not sure that was on the right trajectory if it hadn’t been blocked….

Horatio Cornblower

Was just talking with my son about that. That wasn’t going anywhere but wide left.

Mr. Ayo

Definitely. That was low and left. Shouldn’t have been blocked and wouldn’t have been good anyway.

Mr. Ayo

ROFL. You can’t write this.