TGIF! Happy St. Patrick’s Day! And if you survived yesterday, then Happy Bracket Busted day! We got a ton of JV baskets ball, lesser footy, racing, and hockey this weekend. Let’s get to it!
Survival – Personal Edition
Perhaps you’re not the type to sit around and watch sports all day. Perhaps you’re the type that actually gets out of the house. And perhaps you’re the type to try some fast exciting sport, like street luge. Bad news, you’re going to crash at some point. Good news, I can get you prepared for that.
- Get safety gear. You’ll need a helmet, full leathers, elbow pads, knee pads, spine pad, good gloves.
- Now then, on to the crashing and testing of your safety gear. Stay on your board even if it’s broke. The board can be useful in taking some of the force from an impact. Do not try to grab passing objects unless you don’t care about your wrists, shoulder, or elbow joints. Do not drag your legs unless you don’t care about your hip, knee, or ankle joints or whether your leg bones stay in one piece. Just keep your feet on the pegs and your hands on the handles. If your board has brakes, try to use them now.
- If in the process of crashing you do get separated from your board, slide on your back with your feet pointed downhill and your toes pointed up. This is what the spine pad is for. Do not roll unless you want to do significant damage to your hands, wrists, elbows and knee joints.
- While sliding spread your arms out at 45 degree angles, palms down on the road surface. This friction, while it will destroy your gloves (but hey, that’s what they’re for), will help to slow you down and also give you the ability to control your direction. More pressure on the right hand will move you right and the left hand will move you left. Assuming you don’t encounter any obstacles you’ll slide about 200 feet.
- If you’re going to hit an obstacle, make it is feet first. Before impact, slightly bend your knees to absorb the force. Make sure your toes are still pointed up. You want to hit the obstacle with the balls of your feet, not your heels unless you don’t care about your feet and ankles staying in one piece.
There, you survived your street luge wreck and still have all limbs not only still attached, but still functional. Now go replace all that safety gear, fix or replace your board, and get back out there!
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Survival – Species Edition
Time to put the sexy in Friday!
Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to what’s most important: Commenting and drinking!
UConn is clearly winning it all. Dez Bryant has spoken.
https://twitter.com/DezBryant/status/1636860571109785603
Thanks for coming, Purdue.
FDU in the final four?
CancerBoy must be rolling over in his grave. Unless he was solely a football guy.
That may be Iowa. I know because they did that when the Hawkeyes were murderdeathkilling the Buckeyes in 2017, causing me to go to a dark place and root FOR cancer and sickness.
I did the same when Rush Limbaugh died of cancer, but that place was full of laughter and light.
Because Rush Limbaugh was an absolute piece of shit who deserved to die alone and in excruciating pain, you see.
I’ll take, “things I said during every single weekend I spent at IU” for $800 Alex
Time for another drink. Feeling good right now. 🍀
Halftime and drinking wine and listening to the Pogues.
That’s the first line of a good Irish drinking song.
Kent State at 50% from long range?
Seems low for them.
We are 3 minutes in an my dad’ “God damnit” counter is at 3
Now we’re at 4
Is your Dad, in fact, Ron Swanson?
It still cracks me up that real life libertarians are disappointed that Ron Swanson isn’t libertarian in real life
Imagine how disappointed all the survivalist bears will be!
I was looking for this classic earlier, finally found it
That’s the blank stare of a girl who put that costume of for Arbor Day but is by god and by damn still going to get some meth out of it.
The BEST Reagan.
She only fucked a bunch of guys and girls on film. That other guy fucked the entire country.
Although apparently Nancy could give Regan a run for her money when it came to certain things*.
*Sucking cock. I mean that Nancy Reagan sucked a lot of cock.
It matters not to me. She’s a fucking angel.
Nancy Reagan?
I think Faye but who am I to kink shame?
I wouldn’t turn down that threesome, even with the STD concerns
Here is the thing for me: freckles. Just adorable, especially on redheads.
But, let’s be honest, most women are beautiful. Mostly.
Any woman that consents to lay with a sweaty and disgusting person such as ourselves is a goddamn saint.
St. John’s about to be as disappointed as a waitress splayed across the table in a shitty Louisville restaurant.
https://twitter.com/John_Fanta/status/1636887479059120129
Does this count as a Sexy Friday Post?
Philly meteorologist makes lewd joke during St. Paddy’s Day broadcast: ‘She means beer!’ (msn.com)
Me waiting for the IU game to start
“What if Rex Ryan was a character in a medieval fantasy?”
That’s an insult to Bobby b.
What I wouldn’t give for a GoT prequel of Robert’s Rebellion
I think the current one about dragons will have to cover it. Assuming they get enough seasons out of it.
Between Ayo’s last pic and Brocky’ first…good heavens.
Damnation, not gonna be able to stay up for the Bloodeyes Gods. Hope they’s enough Blood for ’em all.
Can’t be any worse than Iowa State was.
Let’s hope beer is not being held for such
I’m going to hear “Clank” in my sleep because of that game.
Jesus, I think UConn almost killed Bill Murray
https://twitter.com/CalhounColonel/status/1636910425760464899
Just like they drew up when taking on Gozer.
Now that’s a solid reference.
gozer was the first gender fluid extra-dimensional entity ppl forget that
Meh, he ain’t done fuckshit since Lost In Translation nohow
I haven’t seen Drake make such a bad decision since he let Carly get her own show.
/only people who had kids in the late 90’s/early aughts will get this
//and it’s not really that funny anyway
That show is Spenser appoved
I’d make a Francis Drake joke but I’m not aware of any particularly bad decisions that he made.
Drake just standing around doing nothing on offense. I expect them to lose if they keep being lazy.
UPDATE: The movie we switched to is also not good.
Stunned the Miami cheerleader game is stronger than the Drake cheerleading game.
Hot girls like easy access to good coke.
/me, back in college showing up to the sorority party with two 4-packs of Mexican Coca-Cola:
HEY LADIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Naf5uJYGoiU
I posted sexy pictures why are they needing approval?
Dude, five year olds aren’t sexy
Says YOU! – Marc T., parts unknown
/Josh Duggar has entered the chat
(That guy needs to burn in hell)
Because mod bot is a Purdue fan.
I fully approve of that post.
“I’ve never had a Farleigh. All the one I’ve had have been at extremely close range.” – Deanna Favre
“Tonight’s the night Fairleigh Dickinson became Extremely Dickinson!”
-no one yet, but I’m hopeful
Dickinson? I barely KNOW her son!
“FDU is the smallest team in the tournament but they’ve got the biggest heart.”
/Fuck. Right. Off.
Will prove the true value of heart when they lose in the next round
Memphis and FAU have to be over the moon.
As an IU alum, I legit don’t even want to get off the couch for what just happened to Purdue, might jinx myself
Still, happy st. Patrick’s day everyone
Fuck yeah!
I think one is not wearing green. Might need to pinch her…
Good shoulder hustle!
The first two are two of my favorite images ever
#1 is a pure work of art
#4 looks like she’s in a state to make some extremely regrettable decisions.
New Jersey?
I’d never seen an Irish vampire until Picture #2.
She can has all my penis blood. Wait, that sounded creepy ain’t it
St. John’s is on Line 1 for the FDU coach.
Shit I’m on line 2 ready to give him an old fashioned
No, not that kind of “old fashioned,” Mr. Kraft.
I KNOW WHAT I SAID DAMNIT!
YEAH BOY!!!!!
Yes Virginia, there is another 16 seed that beats a #1.
Virginia would probably be happier if they hadn’t taken another terrible loss in the first round.
That baseline lob that was picked off was this generation’s Chris Webber timeout. Good Lord what a brain fart.
Unlike Chris Webber he actually had a time out to call, too.
I feel really bad for the kid.
That stupid stupid kid.
At least Virginia had very legitimate excuses for not being at their best (namely, injuries). And redeemed themselves shortly after.
WVU beat Pitt which beat Iowa State which beat Fairleigh Dickinson which beat Purdue which beat WVU.
And somehow purdue lost to IU twice
Look at you, Dickinson!
Who’s harder – Brocky or Tony Bennett?
Is that a rigor mortis joke?
YES
The key is “one and one” – adds peril
Jesus, OTHER HIPPO could do better than 2-for-18
I’m not sure if Purdue will advance to the next round, but this ref crew won’t be.
Foul. Lurch.
Should be a foul on Purdue from grabbing the guy’s arm as it went out. Not sure they can call that on replay.
And there’s Gene making the excuse for the refs.
Gene talking about angles but the foul happened right in front of the ref. He just missed it.
It’s taking this long because they’re trying to figure out if they can keep the ball with FDU because they missed the foul.
Aaaaaaaand they couldn’t figure it out.
Lady BFC and I are bailing on LOTR II. Clerks II was right.
YOU NEVAR GO ASS TO MOUTH
Like the books it’s the slowest of the three. There is a kick-ass battle scene at the end.
Dude, every weekend I’m happy I asked you to take over Sexy Friday! You find the most wonderful pictures!
Providence ruining things for the Big East.
There’s something you never see.
Moar like Purdon’t
Brocky is as erect as any Commentist in history
BALLSY THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
I have a Kenfucky vibe. They play legit D.
We know you loves the D
The bigger and MOAR intense the better!
When was the last time EITHER TEAM made a shot?
Imagine how fucked Purdue would be against literally any other opponent
They can’t handle a press. At all.
They need the “throw it high to Lurch and stop dribbling” play
I think I have them winning this game but not much beyond.
“He just doesn’t understand these guys are coming from everywhere”
I’ll take ‘Issues With The Prop Guy At The Houston 500’ for 800, Alex.
Good evening, gentlepersons. Just cracked my first Guinness and it’s time to start the potatoes and then slice the corned beef!
Cabbage or no?
Yep, cabbage and some carrots too.
Also got a loaf of rye bread, if only for sandwiches tomorrow.
Solid.
Irish food is only good compared to British food. Which is only good compared to dog food.
You got a problem with boiling meat?
It’s still Friday in Lent. No corned beef yet.
I believe Pope Francis I has given a dispensation for corned beef on St. Patrick’s Day, and I’m not making that up.
In other words, the Holy See has been making it up for millennia, and no one really understands anything.
I believe this is correct. Also, the Catholic Church believes greatly in loopholes, so….
Can I interest you in some indulgences?
There is no easier or more lucrative grift than the religion kind.
Bless me Father, for I have sinned…
I was convinced Purdue was the most over-rated team in the tournament and this game is doing nothing to convince me I am wrong.
Lurch airballing that FT….
He’s the definition of “just big”.
You and me are kissing in a tree.*
*figuratively
Eh, a few more of these beers…
“No Tongues!”*
*until after 11pm EST-I have standards
Lookit y’all Fair Dick
I’m calling HR
Pffft, I ain’t say Lookit MY Fair Dick smgdh
Evening. Drinking a large format Guinness that’s now out of production and we’re about to watch LOTR II for the first time.
I was going to make an obvious spoiler joke and then saw “for the first time”, which convinces me that I’ve had to send that beer to all those different addresses because you’ve actually been living under rocks.
See that gif WCS posted? After i missed Lord of the Rings the first time, Clerks II put me off of it further.
Well that’s your fault for watching Clerks II
Them West Coast Jesuit cheerleaders have nice shoulders. Ayo, how do the Bobcats rate on the trim front?
Not great, Bob!
That why you fucked off eastward?
Bought a 12 pack of Guinness. Walking into the house, the box fell apart. I now have a 6 pack.
That scene always bugged me because how do they square it with the fact that Moses smashed the first set of commandments? There were fifteen both times?
Pretty sure they’ll make more.
no DARG SHOWS for kids and CTR books in MURICA WE need JESUS in are books in TRUMPS MURCIAS
* sympathy plus one, not a HAHAHA less beer ! +1
I’m hurrying hard for a FDU upset.
I am kinda hard for the women’s coach from Sacred Heart.