No, this is not the Sheldon Cooper Big Bang Theory segment. This is part 2 of Senor’s spring break, where Senorita Weaselo and I went upstate and checked out a Buddhist Temple outside of Poughkeepsie. It was really windy that day, so after seeing absolutely no one there (is there an office, or a gift shop because her mom is always asking to buy her incense?) we just wandered, and I came across this sound. A ringing noise cutting through the heavy winds. The sound of… no, not one hand clapping, but flagpole halyards ringing against the poles, making different pitches. Which since I got home late and have just enough time to costume change as I go from teacher to performer I can’t upload to my computer, but maybe I can later!
And now for something different: The news!
QAARON’S WAVE WATQH QONTINUES TO QONTINUE. And will do so at least to the night of the draft, and then maybe someone will blink!
THE FLOW to KC: QB Blaine Gabbert to the Chefs to replace the retiring Hennesmirk.
Myles Garrett has retired… from the Pro Bowl, after he hurt himself.
The ‘Dacteds may go out of the frying pan and into a different frying pan, considering this quote from Brian Davis: “My money comes from white people . . . who are Jewish, Italian, and Sicilian.” Uhhh…
DUUUVALLL CB Chris Claybooks was booked for domestic assault on Saturday.
What’s the sports?
Who wants the Cup?
Elmonters vs. RRRRRRALEIGHHHHH! (NYI vs. CAR, Hurricanes lead 1-0) (ESPN2, 7:00)
Sunrise, Sunset vs. Hey, Already Better than the Lightning! (FLA vs. BOS, Bruins lead 1-0) (ESPN, 7:30)
Minnesota Not-North Stars vs. Not-Minnesota No-Longer-North Stars (MIN vs. DAL, Wild leads 1-0) (ESPN2, 9:30)
FTK vs. McDavid’s Eternal Boulder (LAK vs. EDM, Kings lead 1-0) (ESPN, 10:00)
Almost Important Basketball!
Snoop’s United Nations vs. Teddy Grahams (LAL vs. MEM, Lakers lead 1-0) (7:30, TNT)
Heatmiser vs. Giannis’s Back (MIA vs. MIL, Heat lead 1-0) (9:00, NBATV)
Raised by Wolves vs. McNuggets (MIN vs. DEN, Nuggets lead 1-0) (10:00, TNT)
No national baseball games because Manfred is a disgrace, but the hockey and basketball’ll take you through the night!
I have to make a quick trip to Riverside tomorrow. Get it in before we get invaded by the Coachellans on Friday. I’ll leave you something to class up the jernt
Make no mistake, I absolutely loved the Kraken’s first playoff win in team history.
But my true enduring love of the NHL playoffs is watching every Canada team face planting.
The Greater Fan Good
Fuckin’ Oilers.
I think that’s actually their formal name.
Ope, sorry about that lead you had Dallas.
Disembodied voice of Ron Howard: “He wasn’t sorry.”
Well, Dallas has shot this joke down just as quickly as an abortion pill.
“Seriously, that’s the reference you chose to make between Dallas and getting shot?” — Ghost of JFK
Or a black teenager who accidentally turned into their driveway after 9 p.m.
Evening
Howdy.
It sure is
Today’s a milestone birthday for me, so it’s evening in many ways
Cool, cool, please wish your milestone a happy birthday from us.
Happiest of birthdays to you, fellow grownup! Here’s a little something just for you
Happy Birthday
https://twitter.com/footballzebras/status/1648804522599366657?t=qUozWFH-QA16f5ZNb9ZdBA&s=19
Each and everyone fully endorsed by THE NARRATOR.
(goddamnit, I really need to write something up based on that)
NAWT FAHR!
WARSE THAHN BUCKNAH
I’M MORE OF A CELTICS FAN THESE DAYS
You mispronounced “MO-AH”.
“Incense” may be code. Buy your mom in law a bong regardless.
Hey if you are primarily attracted to Canadian women (or men) is it referred to as Maple Fever?
Syrupitis
Beaver Fever. Wait, no that’s too generic. You’re right.
Once you go Canuck, there’s no one else you wanna fuck.
Get hosed by a hoser.
Mufferaw Divers
Urban Dictionary: Maplechaser
getting The Sorries
You know what? Trish Stratus was an apex predator. Canadian. Probably drinks Molson and she could convince me to like it, too
I DRIVE A TRISH STRATUS!
That’s funny.
Tronno constantly losing is funny, but Edmonton losing is also pretty funny. That is all.
I don’t particularly dislike the Oilers, but I feel like if they win, it’ll be seen as vindication by the “tanking is the sure way to success” brigade.
Don’t forget the armpit of NHL teams in Canada, Winnipeg winning makes it even better.
Winnipeg has a team? They don’t even have any good parks in Winnipeg.
And you sir get a minus.
Tough but fair.
McDavid’s Eternal Boulder is gold.
Battleship Manning before 2006. The Clots would score 38 points a game, and give up 40.
Litre is wrong about Cold War Kids, but was very right about these fine fellows:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kP0WSdu4MPU
I like this!
Cold War Kids are nails on a chalkboard to me!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xou_HMcIiPA&ab_channel=enfreygo
I just sheared a toenail off. It’s surprisingly bloody, and quite painful.
EDIT: The Maple Leafs still have the same number of Stanley Cups today as they did when this commercial was released, 28 years ago.
Hippo needed – and took – #4thPill just thinking about that
Having done that you have my sympathy. It sucks.
makes one get why the whole nails/pliers thingamajig is an effective Mafia torture
Owwie.
There is a troubling amount of blood located under one’s toenail.
On the positive side that means you don’t have diabetes.
NHL Playoffs are the best playoffs in all sports.
1) NFL (duh)
2) College hoopsball
3) Bundesliga 1/2 relegation/promotion playoff (#16 from 1 v. #3 from 2)
Single eliminations are different animals.
Admittedly, a best three-of-five NFL playoffs would be incredible. So would the
CTEback injuries, though.
prolly have 2 give them a day off for travel or teh libtards will complane smh
Amen!
This time of year really pisses off my crack dealer.