I was gonna do something like rate the Sousa marches, but there are a lot of Sousa marches. So I’m gonna not do that, considering it would have ended in some sort of joke about the piccolo solo in the last time of “The Stars and Stripes Forever” after the big pullback.
First off: Congratulations to the Savage Speeders for winning the Season 4 team championship of Marbula One, and a congrats to—*checks notes* holy hell, we’ll absolutely take it—Momo of Team Momo for winning the individual racer’s title. For the Speeders, it’s their second team M1 championship (Season 1) along to go with Speedy’s individual title (also S1) and two Marble League titles. Meanwhile, it’s Momo’s first anything in anything regarding season titles (they did finish 3rd in the inaugural Marble League back in 2016), so I’d say that’s cause for celebration. (I’m now looking forward to the inevitable Showdown drop, because that would consist of too nice of a thing for too long. Assuming we have a Marble League, as they’re looking for sponsor[s]. Or crowdfunding.)
Second off: We’re really in the doldrums of NFL news, aren’t we? After all most of the free agency’s been sorted, and camp doesn’t start until the end of the month (I see the Ravens start on the 22nd, so… 17 days until camp!) Not all bad though, as Saints TE Foster “The People’s Island of Doctor” Moreau is in remission from Hodgkin’s lymphoma. And Damar Hamlin joined former Fordham softball player Sarah Taffet at Yankee Stadium for CPR training to kick off the Yankees’ HOPE Week.
So… is there anything fun and interesting on tonight? No, the Home Run Derby Bracket Show does not count as fun or interesting. We’re putting that on ESPN? No Judge (hurt and won’t do it again unless it’s at the Stadium), no Ohtani (now hurt due to blister), no Acuña, no Elly De La Cruz… definitely losing big names here, even if the current septet (so one slot left to fill) isn’t too bad: Adley Rutschman (BAL), Randy Arozerena (TB), Vlad Jr. (TOR), Mookie Betts (LAD), Pete Alonso (NYM), Luis Robert, Jr. (CWS) and Julio Rodriguez (SEA).
California Classic Summer League (So not even the important one in Vegas!)
Warriors vs. Hornets (in progress, ESPN2)
ESPN The Ocho’s doing stuff on ESPNews, if you want to watch, uh, stone skipping (9:00), fling golf (9:30), or wiffleball (10:00)
I guess it’s just your local baseball action. Which is free today and tomorrow on MLB TV, but that’s just out-of-market games. I mean, it’s fine because I won a year-long subscription that I should redeem after the 7 and 30 days (thanks to Beat the Streak), but point is it’s slim pickins. It’s just depressing. The sports nadir is coming. Though on the other side, the fall sports start perking up!
Mounting Death Toll: Putin Ally and Belarusian Minister Dies Under Mysterious Circumstances at 47-years-old (msn.com)
https://news.sky.com/story/wigs-guns-and-gold-bars-found-by-russian-security-services-in-raid-of-wagner-boss-prigozhins-st-petersburg-palace-12915794
Greetings from beautiful BC.
I’m at the Sheraton Hotel in Guildford. I told the Mrs. and the kids I was going to throw out the garbage, and now here I am, a couple drinks in the bar. I guess I should probably get back soon, eh?
How we doing tonight?
High, how are you?
3 drinks in. The Mrs. Just called. Probably going to have to pound this one back.
Here’s to the perfect plan
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny sounds one step removed from Indiana Jones and the Life Alert Bracelet of Caution
Indiana Jones and the Fraudsters of Medicare Part B
“After receiving a mysterious call on his Jitterbug phone, Indy rides off on his Hoverround to investigate the early bird special at the Golden Corral.”
You know, as many times as I’ve seen Tom Brady on tv, every time I see him in a commercial, I manage to hate him even more.
Why aren’t they telling us the important things about the white house cocaine? How pure was it? Was it cut with fentanyl and if so, how much?
And did it come from Mitch McConnell’s personal supply?
I thought I read that Donnie Jr and Kimberley Gargoyle broke up. It was probably over this lost toot.
You read correctly. Clear your calendar ladies! Mushroom Dick Jr. is available!
Gotta make the NICEST comment
Or maybe not, jumped to 70
My Lyft driver tonight is named Africa.
I will not be taking further questions at this time.
Gonna take a lot to take you away from him.
Horatio: (pees in the back seat)
Africa: WHAT THE FUCK
Horatio: I bless the rains
I guess I just should have said BFC instead of Horatio but the power of the dwarf compelled me to accuse the wrong commentist
If only you could have worked in Blax’s crusty sock!
Didn’t cum to mind.
Is it one of the 2 kids that survived the MOVE bombing in Philadelphia?
This is what you see during a bad acid trip on It’s a Small World.
I’m scared for you and Tracey. Those things are going to turn into something that isn’t cute polka dots. You should run.
Surprised you knew her name. Here’s Tracey on Mt. Tamalpais, 1998
You talked about her yesterday? Day before? I just assumed.
You were right
My brother’s wife spells her name with an “e” too. Ok, this is kind of weird, I know quite a few Tracey’s, and they are all blondes.
No surprise she knows Tracey’s name.
Goddamnit.
I did not see that coming.
I see that Yoko Ono still has her wish tree at the Hirshorn. When I saw that there a few years back I wouldn’t shut up about Yoko Ono and her goddamn wish tree. “Oh look, it’s the Yoko Ono trash can! Look, there’s a Yoko Ono pigeon! AIYEEYEEYEEYEEYEE!”
My wife didn’t think that was nearly as funny as I did. “Shut up,” she explained.
You did the right thing
They have mambo sauce for the burger! How many people in SFO are gonna know what that is?
I’ve no idea what it is, but I have little doubt that it’s spicy!
It’s not really, tangy might be a better descriptor and it’s frequently spelled mumbo sauce
It’s actually not typical to put it one a burger, it’s something you get at those chicken/chinese food places.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mumbo_sauce
Because they all know the official song of San Francisco:
oh that is so foul well done
Boooooooo this man!
Evening folks
That looks like Fozzy during Bourble.
Went to Scottish Dave’s Pub tonight so that I could try haggis for the first time. Scottish Dave was there and informed us that his weekly delivery hadn’t come in so he had no food, and he wasn’t doing haggis anyway because he only uses stuff he gets right from Scotland, (Dave, sheep die in Connecticut too, and we have knives), then sold us beer, (Tennent’s lager) and talked shit about various Premier League teams and how nothing compares to Rangers v. Celtic.
All in all not a bad trip, even if I still have yet to try haggis.
I enjoyed it when I had it, but it’s nawt really all that distinctive
I have it once a year for Burns Night. It’s pretty good, some versions are better than others.
True. I can take it or leave it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkBl3C_11yM&ab_channel=ChowdahRanger
We drank a lot of Tennents Special in Scotland. It was usually that or Mc Ewans. Can’t remember how to spell it, I could be way off!
Estimated wait of an hour for dinner seating, so time to drink champagne on an empty stomach while I wait!
Seems fitting that a player’s cancer goes into remission immediately following his departure from the Raiders.
They don’t teach you this stuff in medical school
BANNER
My thought at seeing a guy in shorts and a t-shirt riding a motorcycle on the freeway: “wow, that guy must really *HATE* having skin”
yeah but freedumb
I read somewhere that road rash takes off 1/4″ for every 10 MPH.
Ow
I think I’m gonna head to the airport early. It’ll be just like sitting around at home but with someone else making me dinner and bringing me wine. Back on in a bit
How great would it be if Jose Canseco was part of the home run derby contest this year?
You mean like running around in the outfield and trying to head a baseball over the fence?
Mammogram technician must be a really weird job, you spend all day with lots of boobs, but in the least sexy possible way
Sack nurse was a strange one too. Vasectomy prepper is what she was. Com in, pull em through a rubber thing type deal, hold em while the laser stops babies. Then she bails.
My Dr. had a sense of humoUr though, he gave Dad’s brand cookies and a Coke while you waited.
I wonder if they have a booth for that at career fairs?
State fair, and it’s the dunk tank booth. They’re always on the lookout for someone with talent handling the balls.
I’ll bet being a proctologist isn’t anywhere near as fun as it sounds.
Really kind of a shit job.
Context: Instagram launched its twitter clone, called “Threads”
With that in mind, found a funny: If you want to destroy my Twitter, pull this thread as I walk away.
Rockin’
/that time I was a hero to a bunch of randos visiting Elliot Lake
Me: [standing in line at the supermarket]
Teenager: [tries to pay with US moneys]
Cashier: “We don’t accept US bills.”
Teenager: [has a passing grasp on the English language, can’t quite understand and is absolutely mortified]
Me: “I’d like to pay for her stuff.”
Two Grandma’s behind me: “That was wonderful, she’s going to talk about the generous nature of Canadians forever!”
/the teenager joins her group at the exit and points at me
//did I get a standing ovation?
///nope, I got a bunch of older dudes pointing and staring at me as I left
////that was good enough
//////Her order was sleeping pills and Plan B
Plan A is the rhythm method, B is pull out, C is that aforementioned pill.
So people are just missing a step IMO.
Man, clueless people get all the free stuff!
[holds up Yahoo class action check for an email account I haven’t used for anything other than fantasy football in 20 years]
Hey, she’s right!
Self portrait, today
You on a magical mystery tour?
LSD.
So yes.
When I moved to Chicago I was very confused when I heard everyone talking about driving on LSD
Guess you do have depth.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1t4KLOm7pO0&ab_channel=LedZeppelin-Topic
I know a lot of people love this one, but it seems a little one-note to me. Boring, even, which is kind of surprising for Zep. Good drums though.
Not a fan of Presence, especially after following Physical Graffiti.
That’s Nobody’s Fault But Yours.
there’s a coupla bangers there. I love this one
https://youtu.be/DMjFsdLgI2A
…or GTFO. Off of that classic, Physical Graphite.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scpqae3P7Dg
That’s more like it!
“Foster “The People’s Island of Doctor” Moreau”
That’s really good.
My mother got carded for an alcohol delivery by Total Wine today, and they refused her Virginia ID because it expired last month on her birthday, when she turned 90 years old.
Fortunately she had her passport so mom’s booze needs are being met.
🤦
A ways back, I witnessed a VERY elderly man refused cigarettes at Sheetz (a gas station) because he didn’t have his ID.
The person behind him ended up “purchasing” the cancer pack for him.
Sheetz. THE gas station!
My mom and I got carded at a Sonics game years ago. We were all excited, until the beer vendor said ” we have to card everybody.” Asshole.
This is what the song, “Steal My Sunshine” is actually about.
Well, we missed a million miles of fun because of that buzzkill!