Your Old Timey Sunday Night NFL Football Open Thread

This is a fantastic matchup. IN THE 1970’S!

To The Game!

Steelers/Raiders:

-Pittsburgh hasn’t beaten the Raiders on the road since 1995! Illustrious qb’s such as Andrew Walters and Terrelle Pryor have paddled their behinds. (I honestly can’t recall Walters, was that Barbra’s son?)

-Will Jacobs finally let loose after running for (checks notes a third time) -2 yards last week? Seems likely given that the Pitt D have allowed 144 rush yards over expected in the last two weeks.

-Good News?: The way one solves one’s Pickett-centric quarterbacking woes? Why, have Matt Canada work even closer with him moving forward. Yes, that’s the plan-the guy on his way out is gonna given Kenny some of that Canada magic. Once he gets some of that tasty Canada syrup he’s going to turn things around.

-You laugh (probably not) but Pickett is a quick learner. As a rookie he rushed for 14+ yards in 10 of the 13 games he played. And then came the concussions… But since then he’s never rushed for more than 10 yards in any game. Something got thru that cracked noggin.

-Jimmy G is yet to be sacked this season which is a bit surprising because a criticism of his in the past is that he holds onto the ball for too long.

-Prop News: Maybe take the over on Jaylen Warren’s 15.5 receiving total? He’s seeing an increased role because Harris is struggling so badly and he’s favored as the more explosive back. Plus the Browns are good at stopping the run and bringing pressure so little passes should relieve some of that. He may hit that number on just one shot.

-Unknown Guy Alert: Raider o-lineman Kolton Miller has allowed just one(!) pressure on 54 pass attempts so far. Last week he was graded as the best lineman in both run and pass blocking.

That’s it for me. Enjoy the game!

5 4 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
139 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
King Hippo

Unreal catch on that duck

WCS

CNN saying the writer’s guild strike is about to end.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yeah but who wrote that for them?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s been pretty obvious looking at the results of today’s games that the NFL is eager to get back in synch with THE NARRATIVE – they’ll be glad to have the writers get back to work.

fleshwound_NPG

good. now clean up the script for the bears a little bit (but keep the losing going, draft stock through the roof right now)

Brick Meathook

comment image

fleshwound_NPG

raidaahhs making matt canada look like matt america

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They do that for everyone. They’re the NFL’s equivalent to the village bicycle.

fleshwound_NPG

maybe NOW we can finally all stop hiring former pats

WCS

Raiders are tired. NOTEBOOK

King Hippo

uh….wow. Too bad the Donks set an impossibly high bar for pants-shitting

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, my solace is that come tomorrow morning nobody is going to be talking about this game or these teams.

fleshwound_NPG

what the hell was that

WCS

Not sure, but I laughed!

WCS

MOAR HIGH END TALENT

King Hippo

How many hospital balls has Janeane tossed Davante tonight? I seem to remember at least four.

WCS

checking your prop bet?

King Hippo

(Davante is on Grimace Touched My Butthole, of course killing it when I was gonna win by 80+ anyway)

blaxabbath

This dude hawking Deshaun Watson on the Toyota halftime show must feel a great amount of personal self-worth.

blaxabbath

Jason Garrett looked really prepared in the studio for this segment

about the Cowboys being embarrassed by a terrible team.

Wakezilla

Good evening, all.

HOW ABOUT THEM DOLPHINS!?!

LemonJello

comment image

King Hippo

JESUS, dude. My ass still hurts.

King Hippo

oh shit, that hurt just to watch. No heels for Janeane come Monday morning!

WCS

Josh McDaniels getting a delay of game at home due to crowd noise and his own dipshittery is just so appropriate.

King Hippo

You can’t say he’s not committed to the bit.

WCS

That he’s running a second AFC West team is the chef’s kiss.

fleshwound_NPG

we need to call pickett mittens because of the two white gloves

WCS

comment image

Circle of life, I guess.

fleshwound_NPG

cant remember the OG MITTENS, ancient ksk era

King Hippo

Think it weirds out Coach Epps to see his son playing defense for the other team?

(also he has to realize that Najee Harris sucks, right?)

fleshwound_NPG

naj wears # 22 because 2.2 is almost his YPC this year

King Hippo

Uncle Jack running like he saw the “To Catch A Predator” camera crew. TWICE!

King Hippo

This a Very Raiders performance. But still just a 3-point game.

WCS

JOSH MCDANIELS

King Hippo

SMRTEST guy in the room!

blaxabbath

With the opening season being Covid year and then ’22 hosting both a bad Raiders team and some bad opponents, I’ve been a little sour on the whole season ticket thing.

Then I got to cash in on selling these PIT game tickets and I want them to host DAL every week.

WCS

That’s Rikki’s Raiders!

fleshwound_NPG

deablo with a missed opportunity having a jersey # 6 or #66

WCS
Last edited 1 year ago by WCS
WCS

comment image
Kenny Pickett on that previous throw

LemonJello

T.Watt Sack.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Very nice throw.

King Hippo

this…escalated quickly?

WCS

STILLERS GAHNTA SUPERB OWL

WCS

TOMLIN MODE: Rising

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“A dice roll in Vegas for six!”

Actually a good call by Al Michaels.

LemonJello

Narrator: “Tonight, the role of Al Michaels will be played by Mike Tirico. Mike. Tirico.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, right.

LemonJello

I can’t say this enough.

SHUT. UP. CRIS.

The Maestro

Homemade pulled pork nachos for dinner. Making the most of our leftovers here.

LemonJello

That sounds absolutely delicious.

WCS

comment image

Goddamn, TJ Watt.

LemonJello

T.Watt with the fumble?

LemonJello

Fucking edit. Fumble recovery.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s My Raiders!

(actually, he’s pretty clearly down)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[three consecutive punts]

We’ve secretly replaced Sunday Night Football with Thursday Night Football. Let’s see if anyone’s sober enough to notice…

Horatio Cornblower

OK, there’s a break in the rain so I’m going to walk the dog and walk off some of this pizza.

Gosh I sure hope nothing exciting happens in this game while I’m gone.

LemonJello

When does Lowratio get his mandated exercise?

King Hippo

when he EARNS IT

Horatio Cornblower

I’ve said this before, but he’s free range.

ThePirateSloth

Is it me or does it sound like there are a lot of Steelers fans there?

Gumbygirl

Always.

WCS

Yinzer radio estimated 65/35 Raiders fans.

Horatio Cornblower

It’s Vegas. The visiting team is always going to be well-represented by large numbers of people who are going to lose a lot of money on slots and get food poisoning when they eat the shrimp at the buffets.

WCS

comment image

fleshwound_NPG

2nd week in a row of feeling the excitement of a matt antarctica offense in primetime

fleshwound_NPG

i dont think this is really narrated by ice cube. he doesnt sound nearly antisemitic nor antivaxx enough

Horatio Cornblower

I’ll admit it: the first two games this season had lured me into believing that the Cowboys were legitimate. Then today reality came crashing down hard. An offensive line that never stays healthy. An undisciplined team committing 13 penalties. Mike McCarthy, needing two TDs and with less than five minutes left, gets his team into the red zone and calls 5 straight running plays. When Dak finally gets to throw he zips a pass into triple coverage that I see coming, with the resulting interception nothing if not predictable.

Also Arsenal completely bottled the game against Tottenham, although at least I could also laugh at Tottenham for their mistakes.

Also I found a really good pizza place, so all in all this day gets a check+

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s kind of a rule that regardless of how bad the Cardinals are, they always show up strong against the Cowboys when they’re at home. So keep those hopes up, at least until November!

fleshwound_NPG

almost the 25th anniversary of the cardinals ending the 90s cowboy dynasty!

Horatio Cornblower

That was Ol’ Double J’s ego not letting him share credit with Jimmy Johnson and replacing him with Barry Fucking Switzer.

Cowboys haven’t done shit since, (Switzer’s Super Bowl was Johnson’s team), and quite honestly they don’t deserve to until Jones sheds his mortal coil and takes his rightful place in Hell.

blaxabbath

Jerry Jones is the case for both wealth taxes and estate taxes.

Fortunately for me, he’s buddies with Clarence Thomas.

jjfozz

in theold days, this game would be a fuckking batltle

LemonJello

comment image

Mr. Ayo

I’m sure it still will be. Just a different type of battle.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

HI I’M MARK DAVIS AND I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR COLOR WARS AT SPAGHETTI CAMP!

comment image

fleshwound_NPG

in the old days they put lead in the gasoline. on purpose.

fitting, since this game has the potential to give you lead poisoning somehow

Horatio Cornblower

And it would have been on at 4 o’clock and it’s ending would have been signaled by the 60 minutes stopwatch ticking away and reminding me that I had school in the morning.

fleshwound_NPG

holy shit, fire sean payton beyond the sun and into the damn oort could

den-sucks.png
fleshwound_NPG

i cant even spell cloud. he had dinucci as scout team tua. wtf. the bears might even have a shot at him next week

fleshwound_NPG

they gotta stop with this “FNIA” bullshit. just have it say “football night in america”

FNIA just sounds like a terrible FEMA substitute bought at aliexpress or wish.com

LemonJello

Hope HIppo isn’t watching SNF because they talked about the MIA-DEN game like it’s a German Schiesse film

King Hippo

I was typing my column so I had TV on but muted until kickoff. It…really kind of was exactly that. Wait for the encore in Chi**** next week!

WCS

Mike McDaniel looks like a kid who just accidently burnt dad’s shed down.

Horatio Cornblower

“looks like”

Senor Weaselo

“Accidentally”

ballsofsteelandfury

The spread is Raiders -3. Combine Scotchy’s stat about the Steelers on the road versus the Raiders and the fact that the Steelers are HORRIBLE on Sunday Night Football and I advise you to bet accordingly.

WCS

6-4 overtime, and I’m not sure who actually wins

LemonJello

Scorigami?

ballsofsteelandfury

The UNDER is probably a really good play too.

fleshwound_NPG

a team that starts gardner minshew is leading their division, in case you were wondering if it is too early to declare anything (other than the bears are dead)

The Maestro

The Bears have been dead since the day they were born.