Random Thoughts with BFC, Volume 24

Remember that old SNL sketch “Fecal Matter with your host John Fecal”? No? Yeah I figured it was just me. It was a solid (heh) talk show format with a specialized host and topic. Well, we ain’t exactly doing Pod Flies Open around here, but what about in written form, maybe say like a mix between John Fecal, Jack HandeyBalls’ 25 questions, Rev’s take on Larry King, and I don’t know, my own fucked up mind? With that backdrop I present to you the twenty-fourth edition of a potentially sporadically recurring irregularly scheduled Random Thoughts with BFC! Now also (occasionally) in open thread form! If you want to make this interactive, drop a note/question/bon mot in the comments ala my old Mouth Flies Open  attempt at an advice column.

  • I recently started going into a WeWork as opposed to a co-working space by a company other than WeWork. One immediate contrast is the percentage of lunches being doordashed in vs brought from home or picked up with your own two feet. I’m not sure if it’s because of or resulting from, but there’s a pick up station down by the front desk that is a parade of gig workers dropping off Chopt and other lunch items. Regardless of your view of the efficiency, economy, or ethics of door dash and Uber eats, I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want 10 minutes of daylight. Seriously, the lionshare of lunch deliveries are from establishments within a 4 block radius, it’s barely shorter to go to the front desk than to the actual restaurant.
  • Shit, I think there are onions on my belt.
  • I am a giant bleeding heart demmycrat who is all in on Biden and team blue. HOWEVA I am unsubscribing from every fucking candidate / PAC / campaign email and am not donating another dime until I see a better plan for doing something other than outrage email blasting our way to mediocrity.
  • I am officially over the youths using “rizz” all the time. Conjugating it makes it infinitely worse.
  • Has anyone heard from Fozz since he threatened to go nuclear on anti Columbus Day activists? Is he ok? In jail? In that big Hulk detention thing?
  • Alright, I guess as head DFO J-O-O (self appointed) I need to say something about the goings on in Gaza. Depend on your social circle, you’re likely seeing either “This is Israel’s 9/11 and how dare you question the response to retaliate against Hamas after the atrocities they committed” or “Palestinians have been fucked over for years, Israel is the oppressor and deserves no sympathy.” Maybe you’re seeing both but I’m hearing from most friends they’re seeing one or the other. To the point, there’s a shitload of nuance in the history of this conflict and this isn’t a moment where people are receptive to nuance. So let’s start with what should be obvious–blowing up civilians, butchering children, and raping women is unjustifiable, full fucking stop. Hamas has committed atrocities this week, and there’s no reason to qualify condemnations thereof. This is not self defense or self determination, it’s horrifying terrorism. So the pro-Palestine rallies that cropped up around the US chanting “700”–the number of Israeli casualties at the onset — should not be seen as benign acts of support for the Palestinian people. But the broader context does matter, including how aggressive Netanyahu has been with a settlement expansion policy that (IMHO) is antagonistic and harmful to a two state solution. Palestinian suffering is directly relevant to the current state of affairs in Gaza and that will only get worse now that Israel is shutting down services in Gaza.  Crassly, politically, Hamas has now made it easier rather than harder for Netanyahu to retaliate no holds barred and then it’s hard to see how this goes anywhere but more aggressive on both sides. Not shockingly, I don’t have all the answers here, but I do know that the conflict has returned to a full on war in the Middle East, and that doesn’t bode well for the Israeli or Palestinian people, particularly if hard liners remain emboldened. What happens next is obviously speculation but we need to be mindful of the suffering of civilians, starting with robust condemnation of the Hamas attacks last week.
  • Also it’s super weird/emotionally exhausting to have people checking in on me as a Jew when I don’t have real ties to Israel and it’s like, how about as humans we can all sympathize with the fact that mothers are burying children this week and that is a little more important than performative posting on Instagram or political parachuting?
  • /dick joke
  • NFL trade deadline is Halloween; RamIt dealt Van Jefferson to Atlanta, but expect a lot more action to come.
  • I finally watched Don’t Worry Darling. It was pretty interesting, not massively groundbreaking, and I don’t quite get the fuss over the cunnilingus scene (though I stand with Olivia Wilde in that I would have been good with seeing more ).
  • Alright, here’s a more uplifting fill in the blank. The best Halloween costume I ever pulled off was ______________.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy
BFC is a Chicago native transplanted to our nation's capital and transplanted again to the mountain West, then to SoCal, then back to the mountain West, and then again back to our nation's capital. He enjoys football, whisky, and the oxford comma.
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Doktor Zymm

I’ll probably never do better than my sexy gluten costume

Doktor Zymm

“until I see a better plan for doing something other than outrage email blasting our way to mediocrity.”

So…never

As for the Gaza situation, both sides have been listed as ‘high risk’ by Genocide Watch basically forever. Atrocities are an overreaction, but they are a reaction, just like there are sure to be even more atrocities when the Israeli’s react with their ground campaign.
Gaza is in an especially bad position, as no one can leave and even basic supplies like food and water are being completely cut off. I’m morbidly tempted to stick an over/under on what % of the civilian population of Gaza would need to die before the US would actually ask Israel to pause and allow humanitarian aid in

Otherwise, I’ve been having a good Wednesday!

Brick Meathook

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Redshirt

Whatever sympathy I had for Palestine disappeared when they let their version of MAGA off the leash.

Horatio Cornblower

Boy do I have some news for you about who Netanyahu partnered with to form a government.

bk109

Let him experience the tangled web of Middle Eastern first hand. Just don’t forget to prep the popcorn when he reaches the part on who actually fostestered Hamas in the first place as a way to counter Arafat.. See, blowback isn’t just a staple of US foreign policy 😉

King Hippo

/slaps BFC on ass. HARD

//no wonder we made him HJIC!

///pats self on back in WASP

King Hippo

Catler is SHARED trauma!

Redshirt

Isreali Opposition Party: “Screw policy! We can settle the details when the enemy is in Hell!”

…and over here in the States, the House remains idle because the GOP won’t go across the aisle to drum up a dozen Moderate Democrat votes by giving them something small declaring Thursday the Democrats’ day or by tar and feathering Green and/or Gaetz.

blaxabbath

You sure are eager to see CHILD MOLESTER CULT PARTY with more power.

Some people are saying Redshit might have a sympathies for teh gyas…..

bk109

Hippo – next time you’re recommending me a book – just say it’s about a woman trying to survive a post-apocalyptic Siberia as that alone is more than enough to pique my interest (I’m about 25% in). Ah, and to help me overlook that the author not really researching the stuff he’s writing about, lol (ie – the early bit where Makepeace was talking about reloading her spent brass or the bit where Russia of all places would take 70000 immigrants from the States and leave them to their own devices)

King Hippo

but isn’t the bleakness just so GRAND?

bk109

That’s literally why I keep reading it, despite the author’s groan-inducing lack of research (ie would it have been that hard for him to find a couple of Tungus names, instead of naming one of those fucking Gustav)

King Hippo

/one must recall that I don’t know enough to criticize these points, just know it hooked me but good

//it will linger with you for weeks after

bk109

You don’t need to, lol, since if a story is good (even if it’s bleak as fuck) and interesting, mistakes and bollocks gets ignored in favour of just enjoying the work.
In fact, one of my favourite book series is basically one series of bombastic adventures, where the author (Matthew Reilly) does the necessary that you don’t dwell on how the hell the main character just managed to shoot down a plane using a semi truck, since you’re already enjoying him going on a rampage through a French carrier (for the record, the protagonist is a Marine in that one .. and he had valid reasons to be sinking French vessels.. yes, plural. and again, he had valid reasons) 😀

King Hippo

I was even like this in high school – when given literature “free choice” I went with shorter Steinbeck stuff, and/or Russian novels (despite the length – I enjoyed the amount of alcoholism and suicide).

As an adult (like 4-5 years ago?) I read “And Quiet Flows the Don” because I was enjoying “The Americans” on f/x and wanted to read something from/about the Cossacks.

bk109

Speaking of alcoholism, I read a great comment on the topic while scanning the Russian and Ukrainian telegram segments.

“I’d rather be a known drunk, than an anonymous alcoholic” 😀

WCS
Doktor Zymm

Years ago, a friend of mine was going through a tough time so I recommended reading some books to help out. He said self-help books were bullshit, to which I responded “who said anything about self-help? I was talking about Russian literature”

blaxabbath

re: Israel

I attended a little state chamber of commerce manufacturers c-jerk luncheon awards presentation yesterday. Amongst those being honored were Northrop Grumman and some helicopter outfit that is basically a Boeing subsidiary (that used to be responsible for the Apache). The Phoenix mayor spoke and stumbled into addressing the Israel deal and was all kinds of mumbling and stumbling before, “…and we all hope for…the best outcome for all sides.”

I didn’t appreciate it until last night but that was a pretty unique moment for me — watching some politician try to play without pandering comments on Israel-Palestine violence to a war industry audience that is being, literally, celebrated for their work building the missiles and aeronautics that are going to rip through a couple thousand more lives before end of year.

bk109

a couple thousand more lives before end of year

That’s depressingly optimistic – with the rate the IDF is levelling buildings in Gaza, we may be seeing something like that a day and that’s before we also calculate the humanitarian crisis.

blaxabbath

I’m only crediting them with direct kills. Your bomb may take out the water treatment plant but Raytheon doesn’t get credit for all the dysentery deaths over the coming weeks.

bk109

Oh, no, I’m talking just straight up casualties from JDAM and artillery strikes only. Also, no need to bomb water treatment and power generation facilities, because the blockade enforced by the IDF already’s taken care of that – water and energy supply from Israel’s been cut, while the backup facility in Gaza’s about to run out of fuel, so there go the backup pumps and sewage treatment.
You know what the most moronic part in all that is, though? That it won’t really do anything to hurt Hamas since they’ve got an extensive underground network of facilities and transport routes. If anything, the ruble will favour the defenders (think Stalingrad), so the IDF will either take a fuckton of casualties going in on the ground* or will bleed their budget (and the US’ for that matter) dry, because they’ll have to use expensive as fuck weapons** to take out even small groups of enemies. There’s also the nuclear option, but I hope as fuck neither side (I’m willing to bet that Iran’s nuke capable at this point, plus Pakistan seems to be joining the shitshow as well) is crazy enough to go for those

*assuming Hamas are as prepared for a ground fight as they were for their raid and so far, things point to this being likely. Plus, given how things may be escalating, this may’ve even been what those fuckers were hoping for – both as a way to really hurt the IDF and also because a river of Arab blood will do wonders to get the rest of the Arab/Muslim world on their side.

** call it 30k a pop per JDAM (excluding the operating costs of the delivery platform, which should about double the actual “cost to use”) to take out a sniper or an infantry fireteam is costly as fuck. Which may explain the boners in the crowd you saw

blaxabbath

Earth has the dumbest nuclear superpowers…..

blaxabbath

The best Halloween costume I ever pulled off was ______________.

Every year I’m the same thing. Plaid shirt and a little canvass apron with “Binford” marked on the front.

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LemonJello

I notice you don’t mention pants as a part of this costume…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Has anyone heard from Fozz since he threatened to go nuclear on anti Columbus Day activists? Is he ok? In jail? In that big Hulk detention thing?

He’s probably busy binge-watching Emily in Paris.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Regardless of your view of the efficiency, economy, or ethics of door dash and Uber eats, I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want 10 minutes of daylight.

I think it’s a generational thing. Young people have gotten so used to Amazon culture that if it’s not delivered to their doorstep, it’s just too much trouble. Now if you’ll excuse me, there’s a cloud over there that needs to be yelled at.

King Hippo

Which is funny b/c I am 100% IN on Amazon, but not for Doordash or Uber (Eats or pseudo-taxi)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Personally, I really don’t care for there to be a middleman involved with my food.

Gumbygirl

When we were watching Rammit on Sunday, I told Gumby the Rams needed to trade Van Jefferson as soon as possible. I am a football genius!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fun fact: “Van Jefferson” was Marc Trestman’s nickname among the local junior high kids until he was fired from his job as a youth pastor and chased out of that small town in Alberta.

2Pack

I don’t think I ever wore a halloween costume after trick or treating as an 8 year old. But if I did it was probably an Army guy.

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Brick Meathook

$1.725 billion Powerball drawing tonight.

After I win I’m gonna get me one of them cars with them doors that goes up. Fuck yeah.

Horatio Cornblower

I might buy two tickets today.

There’s no way I can lose!

SonOfSpam

I’m probably buying five, so you may as well burn that four dollars.

litre_cola

If you win I have a feeling Vegas in a month will change a bit.

Gumbygirl

.

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SonOfSpam

Then maybe two chicks at the same time.

Game Time Decision

note that your Canadian friends pay very little tax on lottery winnings. so when you win, gift me the ticket, I’ll give you 75% of the winnings and then take the rest. Win-win.

SonOfSpam

I only trust Nigerian royalty with that kind of deal.

litre_cola

/activates VPN

Hello friend!

Doktor Zymm

Ah crap, I wish I known this before I got home and discarded my pants. Now I have to decided how motivated I am to go out and throw away a few dollars

Horatio Cornblower

One year for Halloween I got a ‘make your own beer in a sack kit,’ made the beer, tied the sack to my chest and went as a keg.

As you may have guessed, the beer was terrible.

Horatio Cornblower

/Huge intake of breath

So to really understand the current crisis in the Middle East we have to go back to 1302 and the collapse of Christian Outremer. Now, with the vacuum created by the loss of Western Powers in the

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Brick Meathook

This stuff never happened during Queen Victoria’s reign. Just sayin’

Horatio Cornblower

Only because she had the good grace and common sense to die before the Balfour declaration and Sykes and Picot getting out their pens and a map.

litre_cola

I once found a 3 piece green suit made for a little person that fit my shoulders and waist. I went as a 6’2 leprechaun who clearly had a leprechauns suit.

Horatio Cornblower

/spends rest of afternoon explaining to Lowratio why this isn’t a hate crime and why I can’t file a lawsuit in Canada anyway.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I dressed as a leprechaun one year at a party hosted by a friend of mine! I made out with one of her friends who was dressed as a barbarian before the party started, and then after the party was winding down she said I smelled too boozy and declined to pick up where we’d left off.

SonOfSpam

lol MAGAts are pissed that Scalise beat Gym Jordan for speaker nominee, calling him McCarthy 2.0 but I would call him Speedholes McCarthy.

SonOfSpam

And Ken Buck found a few scruples this morning. Weird.

Horatio Cornblower

Weird way to spell “worms eating his brain,” but OK.

Brick Meathook

On a more serious note, here’s my mom’s dildo moving historically through the streets of L.A. Either that or it’s a Chevron tanker truck.

And there’s no way that’s his real fucking name:

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LemonJello

“Dick Prickett” just didn’t have that professional ring to it.

SonOfSpam
  • Alright, here’s a more uplifting fill in the blank. The best Halloween costume I ever pulled off was ______________.

French maid. (years ago in-shape me, not current fat me, although current me as French maid would be infinitely funnier.)

Also, good job on the J-O-Opinion thing. Seems obvious, but celebrating anything happening this week is bad.

ballsofsteelandfury

The best Halloween costume I ever pulled off was my girlfriend’s Wonder Woman costume.

Game Time Decision

no need to try top that.

Brick Meathook

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LemonJello

Banner this.

LemonJello

This being Balls’ quote.

We should ban Brick’s posted image. Brick’s image should be on a commemorative Navy coin.

Brick Meathook

Let’s hear it for The Marines. Semper Fi!

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SonOfSpam

Semper Flab

Horatio Cornblower

Braver than any Mari…

Oh wait, never mind.

Gumbygirl

Bremelo. Bangorilla.

blaxabbath

I’ve done worse.

LemonJello

What happens in Thailand, stays in Thailand (except for the syphilis).

Dunstan

“Well, yes, obviously. They aren’t old enough to get a passport.” — Marc T.