Random Thoughts with BFC, Volume 26

Remember that old SNL sketch “Fecal Matter with your host John Fecal”? No? Yeah I figured it was just me. It was a solid (heh) talk show format with a specialized host and topic. Well, we ain’t exactly doing Pod Flies Open around here, but what about in written form, maybe say like a mix between John Fecal, Jack Handey, Balls’ 25 questions, Rev’s take on Larry King, and I don’t know, my own fucked up mind? With that backdrop I present to you the twenty-sixth edition of a potentially sporadically recurring irregularly scheduled Random Thoughts with BFC! Now also (occasionally but not today) in open thread form! If you want to make this interactive, drop a note/question/bon mot in the comments ala my old Mouth Flies Open  attempt at an advice column.

• Yesterday was election day in many parts of the US (but not in the federal district in which I live), and congratulations to the people of Ohio, Kentucky, and Virginia for protecting abortion rights/not just going along with the modern GOP position that women aren’t people.
• Speaking of women, what percentage of American women named Lexi live in Florida? 40%? 50%? More?
• In possibly the best football story of the year, Cam Newton shared that the pickle fucker Jimmy Clausen tried to charge him $1M for jersey #2 when he joined the Panthers, to which Cam said “kiss my ass.”  Obviously it’s the only proper answer but good for Cam.
• Those aforementioned Panthers will take on the Bears tomorrow night with Justin Fields tbd on if he’s going to start.  So yeah, go ahead and make plans for tomorrow night, that game is going to be a suck sandwich.
• Am I the only one who didn’t realize Josh Dobbs is a rocket scientist? The man has interned for NASA twice.  Not saying that convinces me he’s going to be a Pro Bowler or even long term starter but it sure as hell makes me like him more (and wonder if that is going to be the new “did you know Ryan Fitzpatrick went to Harvard?).
• I have negative desire to talk/write about the Trump trial goings-on (Horatio and the DFO Lawyer Crew can share their hot takes) but I do have to say I’m enjoying that he’s wasting oxygen complaining about his courtroom sketch:

• I agree that it doesn’t look like him.  Here’s a more accurate drawing:

• Now THAT’S a man who’s 6’3″, 230lbs.
• I don’t know why the Lorax is having a moment in terms of cosplay amongst young women, but I’ll speak for the dweebs that think these are the costumes that everyone needs.
• Have you ever seen someone miss an entire light cycle because they were so engrossed in their phone? I’m not talking about drivers, I’m talking about pedestrians. Though they’re both equally scary.
• Did Dr. Mrs. TikkiDeadly start writing for the Washington Post? Apparently that venerable publication has views on robot vacuums.
• Is everyone else getting bombarded with Black Friday ads for….now?  Why?  Doesn’t that make it a Veterans Day Sale?  Way to disrespect the troops, retailers of America.
• This post marks my 40th of the year for DFO, well beyond my previous best of less than 40.
• Alright, off you go into the world today, here’s your fill in the blank: “The biggest surprise coming out of the DFO trip to Vegas this past weekend was: ________________.”