It was my birthday Monday, so I guess we’re doing one of those kinds of posts. (It was also The Maestro’s birthday Monday, confirming the ol’ “How many people does it take for two people to share the same birthday?” thought question.) So with that and my new age, it’s not 25 Questions, but 32 Questions on… whatever. Let’s see where my ramblings take us!

1. Highlight of my birthday? Well, this weekend was also Senorita Weaselo and my 5th anniversary, so we basically did that stuff. Considering the car crash was on her birthday, I wasn’t feeling super celebratory on a just-me end. We did see a short shamisen concert and try out a Japanese bakery all in the same area (Japan Village at Industry City). At some point we’ll do belated birthday stuff for each other. Or at least her, considering hers was ruined.
2. Do I think that it’s hilarious that in Demon Slayer Zenitsu is a fantastic shamisen player during the Entertainment District arc? Yes, and it checks out with Thunder Breathing and his sense of hearing. And also his being a massive simp.
3. At what point do birthdays stop being milestoney numbers-wise and start being “meh, okay”? I think the inflection point is 31. Nobody cares about 31, and even more so nobody cares about 32. Next milestone for me is 35, because then I can run for president! (Weaselo 2028: A More Perfect Union)
4. “A more perfect union” …that doesn’t accidentally sound fascist, right? I’d be going more for the “Listen, we’re clearly not perfect, but as long as we keep striving to make things better the ideals are still on track.” As Porco Rosso put it, “I’d rather be a pig than a fascist.”
5. Brief sidetrack: Favorite Ghibli movie, go. (For me, I loved Porco Rosso, and also believed it or not loved The Wind Rises. Do I secretly like plane movies?)
6. Speaking of milestone numbers, since Hermana Weaselo’s 30th birthday is going to be on a Friday the 13th, I know she’s already decided on a Tim Burton themed party (aka, “The Nightmare Before 30”). Which Tim Burton character should I go as?
7. This is absolutely more of an offseason thing, but why didn’t the rest of us do the “our life” playlist? It was just Balls and me, but I thought the rest were gonna run with it.
8. Similarly, why haven’t I kept up on my regular columns? Well, 1) the banner bracket takes time and we just got polls working again a few months ago; 2) I haven’t been home enough to go ham on my hot sauce, (which includes putting it on ham)—I have not gone grocery shopping in months; 3) I didn’t watch the Sin City Slugfests because I was busy mentally recovering from car crash, so watching vehicles crash into each other might not have been the best medicine for it, even if that’s what they’re designed to do. We will have the Golden Bolt Finals either tomorrow, if I can watch all the fights tonight, or next week, and then the Beaties will follow after that, either the week or two weeks after.
9. Hey, it’s ahead of BattleBots Update, since Draco is *checks notes* doing stuff like playing for Extra Life and being a good human being, but isn’t that what it’s all about, being ahead of the game over my made-up sitcom style rival? (In reality the bit I’ve talked with him online he’s great and is aware of the column, but we all know it’s about commitment to the bit!)
10. (That and my long-running suspiciously specific denial of a man-crush on Will Bales, but doesn’t everyone have that?)
11. Related to #5, do I still owe Doktor Zymm a bottle of Djablo hot sauce? Yes.
12. Did I buy it? Yes.
13. Do I have a House of Pain lined up between it, the Aubrey D’s Rebel sauce I got two years ago for winning the Freezer Vodka league, and the Szechuan peppercorn ghost pepper sauce they gave me at Heatonist because they had a new sauce they were about to drop, I tried it, and pinpointed what the flavors were? Also yes. (They did not give me the mystery sauce.)
14. Would I get that mystery sauce? Eh. It serves a specific purpose, and I don’t know if I need a sauce for that purpose, because I don’t eat breakfast. (Here’s the sauce in question.)
15. Do I just need to go to the post office and send the aforementioned Djablo sauce to her? Also yes.
16. Am I probably just going to wait for the next time she’s in her old stomping grounds, which is to say the next time she’s in the city? Yeah, probably. Also for trading Pokemon purposes.
17. Speaking of, does anyone have a Torkoal or Relicanth? I need them to finish my Hoenndex. In addition to the usual regionals (namely anything from Hoenn on).
18. Am I still playing Pokemon Go? Yes. I’m Level 45.
19. Is it as good as it was? No, the change on remote raids pissed people off and even in the outer boroughs it’s tough to find people to do a raid, but it’s easy to keep playing on with all the mileage I do, and I still need to catch *checks* 581 more Dragon-types to platinum the Dragon type, and that’s the last type I need to platinum.
20. Fuck, I oversold this immediately. Uh, best birthday present? Well, the violins were Christmas present, so birthday might be a little more muted. Honestly off the top of my head I’m not sure regarding birthday presents. Last year Padre Weaselo did get me an Adam Fox sweater, so that was pretty cool.
21. Speaking of, why is “Bagels and Fox” both the best and dumbest thing I’ve ever heard? (Dumbest because of the name.)
22. What are some other potential hometown kid/hometown product ad spots that would be fantastic? (Since Foxy’s a Long Island kid.) I’m talking like Joe Mauer doing something for a place that sells tater tot casserole.
23. So am I going to Chelsea tomorrow for the Meet & Greet? No, because I have to be at work at 9, and I don’t care how quiet it is for my tutoring hour, I can’t casually go up the E train five stops, hang with Foxy, get a sesame bagel with cream cheese, Nesquik, and a bag of kettle chips, and come back down.
24. Relatedly, because he went in the Hall this week, but is there a picture of Henrik Lundqvist where he doesn’t look dashing? (The answer is no.)
25. Less of a question but more of a comment, but I’m glad that I got peer pressured by my friends into actually following hockey so I could keep up with conversations. So the question: What sport(s)/team(s) have you gotten peer pressured into following?
26. Conversely, I did not get peer pressured into attempting to play chess, that was just watching the World Championship a few years back. Who here’s got a chess.com account? I admittedly just got to 800 in daily games and I’m only a 500 in rapid because I think I have less time than I actually do and end up blundering something. Normally a rook, but occasionally my queen.
27. Actually the mistake right now in this 3-day game was with 4. Qe2 after 3.… Bc5, which will result in either my losing a pawn or my right to castle. Man, why am I shit at openings? (Actually, that’s simple to answer, because I don’t want to have to memorize openings after 1. e4 e5.) *sees what black did* Hey, it kinda worked out, I’m up a bishop for a pawn after move 6, I’ll take it!
28. You know how to immediately fuck me up when I’m playing black? 1. d4. Then I can’t play 1.… e5, and have no idea what I’m doing and am just making shit up as I go along. Also bringing out your queen early, regardless of which side. Still gotta work on defending that. And don’t get me started on dealing with the Caro-Kann. Or why it works.
29. Hey, can that be our next thing after the brief time we all won tWBS’s imaginary money in poker? Love him and miss him, but dude almost made me look competent in poker, and I notably suck at poker because I can’t bluff for shit. I can at least pull out a decent mid/endgame, it’s just my openings that are garbage.
30. You know who knows I can’t bluff for shit? Senorita Weaselo, and that fortunately made it a whole lot easier for us to get together because I couldn’t hide my reactions, so you know what, I’ll take it.
31. Oh look, we’re almost at the end. Everyone still with me?
32. Hey, don’t you love it when these end with a punchline? Well, I don’t got one. Onto the news!