Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: The Weasel and the Spinning Wheel

I promise I did not crash again, either in the Snowmageddonpocalypse that didn’t drop any snow on the city (just north, like the snow game we saw in Foxboro) or the intense winds last night. No, this is to make fun of my…

pottery skills! Or lack thereof, since I had never done this before, but Senorita Weaselo’s sister invited us so screw it, I’m in.

First off, there are no pictures of how I did because no, we were not allowed to keep thing we made, which they said was for the best because then you try to be perfect and not get your hands in there and attempt to make anything. But, what did I learn?

  1. Lefties end up having to do things backwards, AS USUAL. (You have to set the wheel to spin the other way.) This is also why you get things like “use your dominant/non-dominant hand.” IT’S ALL OUR FAULT.
  2. I was decent at coning up and down, which is what you use to center the clay. I was less good at actually shaping and drawing out the clay because eventually my thumb would get in the way and rip a chunk out. Multiple times.
  3. I failed out of spy school because the thing you use to take the piece off the wheel is, I shit you not, a garrote. And I was always off by a centimeter or so, which actually fucked up the closest thing I had to an acceptable-ish bowl when I tried to scrape it off… and took the bottom off.

Okay, that’s the things. Onto the news.

QAARON WATQH: Or more likely, not watch, as Aaron Rodgers’s segment on The Pat McAfee Show has been cut for the remainder of the season (which, granted, would just have been until after the Owl). I have to say, that’s a shock, seeing an interviewed guest get flak for *checks notes* insinuating a major employee on the same family of networks, which is owned by Disney, still probably not in a good mood of Steamboat Willie hitting public domain, was on the Epstein list and flight logs. And not apologizing for it, and flirting with a libel suit. (Actually, McAfee sounds pretty done with his shit.)

Hoodie Watch: No news.

Wink Watch: Still no official news though reports are saying that Giants DC Wink Martindale will resign.

First Picking Team Updates: Eberflus stays, but OC Luke Getsy is gone in Chi****.

Charmslinger News: No call made yet, but they say they’re open to having him back. I’m pretty sure that’s a contingency plan.

Pete Carroll out for the Seahawks, but will remain in an advisor role. (So, they kicked him upstairs.)

THE SHIELD IS ETERNAL: Viewership was up 7% this season to an average of 17.9M viewers. This is tied for second highest (1st: 2015, 18.1M). Monday Night Football averaged 17.36M viewers, its highest since 2000. CBS upped its numbers, as did the Thursday Night and Sunday Night games. Fox actually had a slight drop of 2%.

What’s on?

Hockey Tonight
Not the North Stars vs. Was the North Stars (MIN vs. DAL, 7:30, TNT)
Nc6 vs. Bumbles Bounce (VGK vs. COL, 10:00, TNT)

Not the NBA Eastern Conference Jumble (4-8 are a game apart thanks to the Knicks’ win and Magic’s loss last night, 5-7 are tied)
Pierre, Scourge of Our Dreams vs. Draymond, Scourge of NBA Players’ Balls/Faces (NO vs. GS, 8:30, ABC)
Mountain Team vs. Mountain Lake Team (DEN vs. UTAH, 10:00, ESPN)
Canada Special! Immanuel Quickley’s Takeover vs. Dunking on Paul George (TOR vs. LAC, 10:30, TSN)

Not the JV Basket-jumble
Provi-Dance vs. Run the Jewels live at the Garden (Providence vs. St. John’s, in progress, FS1)
#21 Son de Clem vs. Virginia Tech (7:00, ESPN2)
#7 W/NC vs. #ThirdPill (UNC vs. NC State, 8:00, ESPN)
#4 Horatio vs. Ruff Ryders Anthem (UConn vs. Xavier, 8:30, FS1)
#9 “Oh, What a Beautiful Morning” vs. Bloodeyes (Oklahoma vs. TCU, 9:00, ESPN2)

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Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo plays the violin. He tucks it right under his chin. When he isn't doing that, he enjoys watching his teams (Yankees, Jets, Knicks, and Rangers), trying to ingest enough capsaicin to make himself breathe fire (it hasn't happened yet), and scheming to acquire the Bryant Park zamboni.
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[…] love Weaselo’s [team] […]

Fronkenshteen

Hey now! Happy hump d…aahh shit I missed it.
https://youtu.be/yXG-UP2AZSk?si=9uJkAop92K0LFr3p

Mr. Ayo
WCS
Mr. Ayo

Day #19

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SonOfSpam

No we got nothing in common
No we can’t talk at all
Please take me along
When you slide on down

Mr. Ayo

I had to do a search to find out you didn’t reference Breakfast as Tiffany’s, because obviously that wasn’t relevant, before I remembered Steely Dan is a thing and had an actual song about the number nineteen in a totally not awkward and inappropriate way.

SonOfSpam

Thank you for your service.

SonOfSpam
Horatio Cornblower

Whoever is behind this needs to be beaten to death.

https://twitter.com/Variety/status/1745287565236715998

Col. Duke LaCross

That will be MadTV’s Will Sasso.

Doktor Zymm

If I don’t read the article or acknowledge this thing in any way it doesn’t exist. SEE NO EVIL

SonOfSpam

I do the same thing with that abscess on my neck.

(That was originally so much more gross)

Brick Meathook

Recipe for “Marine Breakfast”
(Serves eight or two hungry Marines)

½ pound ground beef (ground chuck for flavor)
1-tablespoon bacon fat (lard/Crisco or butter)
3 tablespoons flour
2 cups whole milk (add more milk if you want it thinner)
1/8-teaspoon salt
Pepper to taste
8 slices of dry toast

Using a large skillet (12-14 inches), crumb1e and brown the ground beef with fat and salt. Remove the pan from the heat and let cool slightly. Mix in the flour until all of the meat is covered, using all of the flour. Replace the skillet on the heat and stir in the milk. Keep stirring until the mixture comes to a boil and thickens (boil a minimum of one minute).
Serve over the toast. Salt and pepper to taste.

Doktor Zymm

Ah, shit on a shingle

Brick Meathook

This recipe is vastly different than the traditional creamed chipped beef on toast, which in the US Army/Air Force/ Space Force(?) is known as “S.O.S.” (Shit On a Shingle), and in the US Navy is known as “creamed foreskins.”

“Marine Breakfast” is like southern gravy on biscuits and is actually really good.

(Bacon fat is the secret)

Mr. Ayo

Vastly might be overstating the difference. The beef is cut differently sure, but it’s made the same way.

Brick Meathook

“Vastly” is the correct word, sailor. Chipped beef and ground chuck are two “vastly” different products from the slaughterhouse.

Doktor Zymm

But it’s still brown goopy stuff on a square carb. Although both are a sandwich

ballsofsteelandfury

Simmer down, Maestro!

SonOfSpam

Recipe for “Space Force Breakfast”
(serves several astronauts)

Powdered Tang
Water

Pour water in a glass. Add some Tang powder. Stir.

Doktor Zymm

Pretty sure this is also one of the many recipes for ‘bug juice’ at summer camp

Brocky

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Brocky

8 years ago today

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

– B. Walsh

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

– B. Walsh

Brick Meathook

Every model train-wreck scene from The Addams Family TV show (1964-66).

They use the exact same model train-wreck footage in each episode, which is even funnier.

Disclosure: I love destroying scale models.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5kS-vk9mPR8

Brick Meathook
Brocky

You know what you never see anymore?

Singing telegrams

I guess too many singers got tired of getting punched in the face repeatedly because singing telegrams are fucking stupid

Brick Meathook
Doktor Zymm

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Doktor Zymm

There are a bunch of delays and cancelations from the MAX grounding, but I don’t actually care if I get to Chicago and back (return flight will be during the winter weather so this trip falls under 2 waivers) so I can sit back and hope I get some travel credit out of this whole mess. Also entertained by the drunk people who can’t get to LA. Dudette, at this point just take the refund and hop on a bus, you’ll get there quicker

Brocky

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Redshirt

Typical Ohio Winter Weather Forecast (Artistic Interpretation):

Ten Days Before: “We’re looking into a weather event next week. Still too early to tell, but the models are suggesting it could be significant.”

Seven Days Before: “This is going to be something big, we don’t know how much, but once the weather reaches California and we get data, we’ll know for certain.”

Three Days Before: “Ladies and Gentlemen, we are looking at our next big event. Snow, ice, wind. Better prepare to be snowed in for a week at least with no power.”

Night Before: “MAKE YOUR PEACE WITH GOD! AS GOD SMITED THE OLD WORLD WITH WATER, SO SHALL HE SMITE THE NEW WORLD WITH WATER FROZEN INTO CRYSTALS TO PURIFY THE LAND FROM THE WICKED AND CORRUPT!”

Morning Of: “Might see a light flurry or two, but it shouldn’t stick the roads.”

Horatio Cornblower

They do the same in CT. It’s all click bait these days.

Of course if they take a more moderate approach and big storm develops they get a rash of shit for that, too.

Horatio Cornblower

I have a horrible feeling that Dallas is going to find a way to lose to Green Bay on Sunday, but the silver lining to the particular dark cloud is it would probably mean the end of McCarthy.

Redshirt

The real question is what will their last play be? I’m predicting an intentional safety when they are down one and attempting an onside safety punt.

Brocky

It’d be the rare occasion I’d be rooting for dallas, so i imagine Dak will throw a pick six on purpose and then flash the double birds shouting Fuck you brocky!”

Horatio Cornblower

YAAAAAH….HERE YA GO BROCKY!!!

Horatio Cornblower

Is there a way they could run out of time while doing it?

Game Time Decision

Playoff tie

Doktor Zymm

Send one team’s offense and the other’s defense!

Redshirt

Conservative Debate Update:

Haley and DeSantis are trading body shots with the occasional passive broadside to Evil Florida Man. DeSantis still sounds like a stereotypically whiny preppy character in a sitcom or a Conservative Teddy Ruxpin (“How will you fix the economy?” (sounds of a tape being selected and inserted “In Florida,…”), but Haley seems more organic, more genuine and looks to be going into this debate with one goal: End DeSantis. Her opening statement was the de-truncated version of Vincent LaGuardia Gambini’s Opening Statement in the case of the State of Alabama v. Gambini & Rothenstine.

My Cousin Vinny – Everything That Guy Just Said Is Bullshit. (youtube.com)

To be fair, Haley is actually sounding like someone I would vote for in the before times. Its still way to early and she still has to deal with the other Florida Dingleberry, but if she can get a good 2nd place showing in Iowa and win in N.H., and get DeSantis to drop out, she may have a fighter’s chance.

Horatio Cornblower

Seems like a lot of effort to get wiped by 30 by the orange psycho who isn’t even there.

Redshirt

At the very least, it gets you established for ’28 when Trump crashes and burns. Before Reagan won in a landslide in ’80, he lost to Ford in the ’76 primaries.

Honestly, if you get him on a debate stage, you should hire a psychologist to tell you what words and triggers to say to get Trump to have a nervous breakdown on stage.

Brick Meathook

Mention his brother Fred Trump Jr. who drank himself to death.

Horatio Cornblower

Keep calling Fred “the good one, who did the right thing”

Brocky

I’m imagining more of him suffering a debilitating stroke on stage, both removing the threat he offers to democracy and displaying his impotence for the world to see

Horatio Cornblower

Is it wrong that I find this erotic?

Redshirt

Can’t be. How could something that feels right, be wrong?

Dunstan

I don’t know, my suspicion is that if Trump loses in ’24 (Inshallah), the ’28 GOP nominee will be some relative newcomer who hasn’t had to do all the tap-dancing around “was the election stolen” and all that shit.

Yes, traditionally the GOP goes “next man up,” but that wasn’t true in ’16 (sorry, Rick Santorum), and I suspect it won’t be true next time around. The GOP base is now very big on “hating the establishment.” They don’t like Mitch McConnell (and hey, I don’t either, but if you’re a conservative you should love him), they hate every Speaker after a couple of months if not sooner. Maybe if you’re just a House backbencher throwing bombs you can still claim to be an “outsider,” but anyone with real political power is going to get labelled a “career politician.”

Horatio Cornblower

The bigger problem than Trump, (and he’s a very big problem, maybe even more than 215 lbs of problems), is what comes after him. That rock got kicked over the fucking morons that came pouring out aren’t going back any time soon.

Which is why I’m against mandatory vaccinations. I’m vaccinated. If you and your dipshit friends want to get a potentially deadly respiratory disease, preferably in time to keep you from voting, well, God Bless America I guess.

Redshirt

If Trump doesn’t win the nomination and the GOP still loses, ’28 is going to be apeshit. MAGA will go full ’32 Germany on us.

If Trump wins the nomination and they lose, either the GOP will reset with an outsider or it will splinter into MAGA Far-Right and the traditional Center-Right and Mainstream-Right GOP. The two Speakers fights in ’23 has shown the GOP isn’t unified. If the MAGA costs them two Presidential fights, the fault lines will fracture.

Brick Meathook

At the college I went to, the biggest sports story during my attendance was that our sailing team won the conference championship by beating the sailing team from the U.S Naval Academy.

blaxabbath

That’s good hustle.

Horatio Cornblower

Really hope a boarding party was involved.

Doktor Zymm

NYU had a really good fencing team. Also, the football team was undefeated because it didn’t exist

Horatio Cornblower

Can’t lose if you don’t play!

Redshirt

“Yup!” – D.Trump, Shaved Gorilla, FL

Horatio Cornblower

I don’t know much about basketball strategy, but I do know you cannot leave the awkward looking white guy open at the top of the key and be surprised when he drains the ugliest looking 3 you’ve ever seen.

He’s out there for a reason, and his inside game isn’t it.

Redshirt

That or the long arcing threes. The kind where everyone on the court, bench, stands and sitting at home can fully go “Oh, yeah. That’s why that guy was just standing there doing nothing.” (swish)

Beerguyrob

Welp, they’re sure selling this as a positive. My Seahawks emails are all these:

Pete Carroll.jpg
Horatio Cornblower

They should show Richard Sherman’s reaction to that dipshit end zone pass over the ‘THANK YOU’ with a question mark after ‘YOU’

Horatio Cornblower

Never like to see anyone taking the high road.

Redshirt

Praise in public, criticize in private.

Mr. Ayo

Not the case here. Sherman has one less ring because of bad call, but he had a HOF career that was better than it would have been without Carrol.

Doktor Zymm

Richard Sherman has always been one of the most media savvy players. Zero surprise that he got a commentator job and zero surprise that he’s being gracious here

blaxabbath

It doesn’t matter because, I’m proud to say, I only get talking shows updates here where they’ve already been filtered and the joke exposed — BUT — I think someone needs to go hard at these dipshits who think their role in the world is to be a loophole and homogenizor for lunatic pricks to speak libel.

Oh the FoxNews “it’s just my opinion but also this is the only true true truth” bullshit was fine because politics is already dirty/messy and both sides and everyone knows every POS on cable news is not to ever be believed. Now we’ve got it in stupid sports that plays teams once a week and will go into literally any space now and our “heroes” are driving towards infowars and we’re gonna say, “Well MacAfee just hosts the show!”

This whole fucking mindset that everyone gets to somehow insulate themselves from any action by blocking, lying, and acting fucking ignorant the point is fucked. And, of course, it’s the “I only speak english and everyone shoukl too!” fuckwits who are the ones who never ‘understand’ the most basic agreement in principle.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m reading this as “we must hunt down and destroy Pat MacAfee” and I’m in.

King Hippo

He seems like the type of “muscle bro” who’d collapse in a ball and cry when the first punch got thrown.

SonOfSpam

Pat: “Hi, random person”
Me: “YEAH…HEREWEGO” punch punch punch stab punch cockslap

Last edited 10 months ago by Horatio Cornblower
SonOfSpam

fine out? please to have edit?

Horatio Cornblower

Sorry, I tried to edit it for you and deleted like half of it.

In my defense I am very sober.

Horatio Cornblower

He strikes me as someone who starts fights only as long as AJ Hawk is within shouting distance.

Which honestly is not a bad strategy.

WCS

I’ve met him a couple times at WVU. He was pretty fucking weird, and not in the BRO-weird way. Like, most of the team left him alone. The informal joke was if one person in the locker room would go on a shooting spree, Pat Mac was probably be them.

blaxabbath

The Whole World Yo Lefties Their Entire Lives: We hate you. Go die.

Lefties: It’s just so……HARD.

Beerguyrob

How airtight is Colorado’s contract with Deion – Nun tight, or Houston 500 tight?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[declines to offer another example upon the advice of counsel] – Brad Childress

WCS

Florida State should have hired him immediately after the ACC Championship Game. That’d have been the push to get in the playoff.

Horatio Cornblower

Bama is not hiring Deion. Not after how his first season of big time college football ended.

Beerguyrob

Oh, I’m not saying they’ll hire him. I’m saying he’ll be talking about them hiring him.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh yeah, absolutely.

Doktor Zymm

I don’t have dominant and non-dominant hands. I have a passive-aggresive hand and a co-dependent hand

Horatio Cornblower

Mine just shake.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Damned gladhandling lawyers…

Horatio Cornblower

Wow, St. John’s did everything they could to throw that game but Providence kept throwing it back.

litre_cola

Karen Carpenter nods.

King Hippo

You are surely too young to remember this (likely not even alive) but my Wolven Sort and your Johnnie Cakes had an epic Flacco Eight showdown in 1985. Chris Mullin pissed Young Hippo off sommet fierce that afternoon…

litre_cola

Someone resurrect Mike Leach for Bama head coach.

WCS

Lane Kiffin has already put his name on the desk.

ballsofsteelandfury

He’s already got the outfits!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That sketch makes me laugh so damned hard. I think the only sports-related thing I’ve ever found funnier is Will Ferrell’s version of Harry Carey.

Mr. Ayo

Hey everybody, Harry Caray here! Thanks for watching!

— H. Carey

litre_cola

On Elon’s hellscape Lane is a good follow.

Horatio Cornblower

Is Mike Shula available?

Is Mike Shula still alive?

Sharkbait

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King Hippo

oh dear Christ, that would have been the funnest coach/program marriage IN EVAR

WCS
BugEyedBoo

My first job out of college was here, and I started there as a C developer in 1987. I’m still in touch with people that I worked with 35+ years ago. We lost to AOL because it was treated as a cash cow when every dollar and then some should have been put back in the company. I just found out today that they put up a historical marker there.

Marker text: “The world headquarters of CompuServe was located on the six-acre site at 5000 Arlington Centre Boulevard from 1973 to 2009. Incorporated in 1969, Compu-Serve Corporation (later CompuServe Inc.) was the first major online information services provider. Its subscribers were the first to have access to email, online newspapers and magazines, the ability to share and download files, and a variety of popular chat forums. One especially successful CompuServe innovation was the GIF graphics format. Increasing competition and a succession of corporate owners pressed CompuServe into the fate of many tech start-ups and it ran its course. It did, however, introduce millions of people to online connectivity, social networking, and laid the foundation for the widespread use of the internet.”

The founder, Jeff Wilkins, is on the left, and that POS Lt. Gov. John Husted is on the right.

f480db2e-862d-4c49-b39c-ee5e9c5df5ab_1920x1080.jpg
Last edited 10 months ago by Horatio Cornblower
BugEyedBoo

“Wilkins . I can has edit function pleez?

Horatio Cornblower

‘Tis I, The Edit Genie!

Doktor Zymm

So you’re saying the whole gif/jif thing is your fault?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Pronounce it however you want, as long as you put marshmallow fluff on the other side, you and I are gonna get along just fine.” – Eli Manning

BugEyedBoo

The author/developer, Steve Wilhite, insisted that it was jif like the peanut butter. Nobody who worked there ever called it hard-G gif. Unfortunately, Steve screwed it up a little bit because the LZW compression algorithm it used was patented, and we had to jump through some hoops involving $$$ to settle that. .PNG is just GIF with a public domain compression algorithm replacing LZW.

One Compuserve vs. AOL story. This was back when 28.8K modems were standard and JPG wasn’t really a thing yet. A bunch of us went to a meeting, in that very room pictured above, where a marketing guy was showing us AOL’s latest client. Marketing guy is running this thing on a modem, not our internal network, and clicks on a news article. *BAM* this picture with the article just appears. AOL’s .art format could compress an image until hell wouldn’t have it. It’d look like shit, but everything looked like shit back then. Marketing guy didn’t realize what he was seeing, but a bunch of us developers were all, “How the hell did they do that!” We never really caught up to that until JPG took off. Embarrassing.

King Hippo

what was the CompuServe chat equivalent of a/s/l??

BugEyedBoo

a/s/l I think. I used bitnet chat (met my wife online on it like a good little nerd), but Compuserve’s CB Simulator (it’s chat system) never caught my attention. Before I worked there it was $6/hr for a 300 baud connection. I would jump on there, get the shit I wanted, and get out.

ballsofsteelandfury

I love Weaselo’s names.

King Hippo

That Run teh Jewels nomenclature is some righteous work! Also, better a chunk off the clay than a chunk off the thumb, ah sez.