Let’s do this!
Chiefs/Ravens:
-Difference-Maker?: MVS maybe? The Baltimore D can’t be had in too many places but pass plays outside the numbers is a bit of a weakness and for K.C. this is a strength-they averaged 7.4 yards per completion and connected at a 69.3% rate.
-Scrambled or Over-Easy?: Lamar! prefers scrambled, as he ran for 489 yards on non-designed runs. Given that the Chiefs blitzed the 4th-most times Jackson needs to get chunk plays with his legs when the pocket collapses.
-Scoring defense-wise these are the two best teams in the NFL-the Ravens allow only 16.5 points per game and the Chiefs are at 17.3. That said, I’d take the over of 44 given the talent of the opposing qb’s. When they’ve played each other the lowest total was 51.
-Baltimore is 10-3 ATS in their last 13 games.
-Bad News For Spags: Since he took over as Chiefs DC in 2019 his defenses have allowed the most qb rushing TD’s.
-Kelce needs 6 catches to tie Jerry Rice for the most in the playoffs.
-As everyone expected, Kadarius Toney is a no-show for the game. Whatever, it’s only a conference championship. I feel sorry for his new baby girl, knowing how often he’s going to drop her.
-Taylor Swift is 8-3 when attending games.
-Injuries: Joe Thuney is out, Marlon Humphrey, Mark Andrews and Pacheco are in.
-Pacheco is key in that when K.C’s rushing number passes the 100 yard threshold they are 7-2. When they fail to reach it they fall to 6-4. As individual players go, the Ravens have only allowed 100+ yards to Zach Moss and Jerome Ford.
Enjoy the tilt.
And here come the LAMAR! pretzels!
FUMBLE!
Romo has a future diagnosing concuss . . I mean back injuries for the league with that diagnosis of an eye poke as an ankle injury
Another great catch by Kelce. He’s on fire!
It’s Tay-Tay’s yeast infection.
both quarterbacks already deep into their bullshit
TayTay’s doing anal tonight!
Holy fuck Kelce. Dude came to play today.
Legitimate question here: does anyone here really prefer thin crust pizza to thick crust?
I do. Then I can fold it in half to make a sandwich.
But it’s already a sandwich.
Here we go…
There is no top bread to it. I will give you Calzone.
An open-faced sandwich is still a sandwich. Think of a hot hamburg or turkey.
SHould a sandwich be eaten with a knife and fork?
The sandwich community is a big tent. I’ve eaten many delicious sandwiches with a fork and knife, such as enchiladas, ravioli, and even caesar salads.
I prefer it as a change of pace-usually if I’m going greasy I’m going all in.
Yes.
Thin crust is better. Thick crust is bread with toppings.
In North America just a normal crust but I prefer Neapolitan style.
In Scotland they deep fry pizzas. The 1st time you order and don’t know, it is quite the shock.
Quite the shock in a good way?
It is like a big Pizza Pop up here, so a huge calzone. They put it in the oven, melt the “toppings” then fold it over and deep fry it.
Delicious but NOT good for you.
Some places have frozen ones made prior and drop them in. Like the Fried Ice Cream at Chi Chi restaurants.
Sometimes, yes. Depends on mood and where pizza is from.
Ditto this. Also depends on what you mean by thin and thick, there are loads of varieties of each. Cracker crust thin? Meh. Neapolitan style thin? YAS QUEEN
KC’s play selection is impressive.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibvYxe43cCQ&ab_channel=koollatter
Purely from a sociological and cultural experience, Juggalos vs. Swifties in the Superb Owl would be fascinating.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KU71slDzzQ
That play was the equivalent of street football in my subdivision in the 70s: “Cut right at Mrs. Johnson’s pine tree and if you’re open, I’ll throw it; otherwise, just go long”!
SICK play. Everything about that was unreal. God damn.
Flowers For Baltimorans.
Okay. LAMAR! is pretty awesome.
When he throws to the right catchman!
iran drone striking balmore?
Don’t look at me! I’m just rooting for Triple Overtime so I can see if they have a 2nd Halftime.
Damn, I should have worn some flannel for Lamar! today. Problem is, I don’t own any.
I have literally a dozen flannel shirts in my closet. It’s 95% of my wardrobe. I should’ve sent you one.
You gots too in the wilds of The Canadia!
When Zymm met Don T and I at the airport, having never met either of us. Don T was in a beauty suit and I was in a flannel with a toque.
WE ARE WHO YOU THINK WE ARE
DIXXON best.
Happily, I can distract myself with April 2230 Pretend Man City
Is the sky still blue in 2230?
This might be a bit early but what are the Chiefs on the money line?
Spread was 3.5, so I’d imagine was +110 to +120 (bet $100, profit from $110-120) ML
I got 4.5
That was a great TD catch. Falling backwards. Man, I am going to be insufferable today. I don’t apologize for it right now. Maybe next week.
I can’t believe (ok, I can believe but only b/c it’s Romo) they praised the THROW on that play. That was 100% Kelce.
You’re actually a Chefs fan? Otto’s eskimo brother!
WHO KNOWS what lie beneath that rasslin mask!
id be down for a swfities vs. juggalos super bowl week
TayTay has to wear the monkey mask tonight!
I think it’d be quite cromulent if the Chefs destroyed the Ratbirds.
holy shit, what a catch. Ratbirds = FUCKED with a capital F
INSUFFERABLEDOWN
Just finished all the obligations of a spouse during a family wedding weekend. And now to half watch this game once we get to the airport.
Kelce and Pacheco playing ball today!
Man. Lady Maestro unexpectedly gone all weekend for some on-call surgeries. The in-laws that were supposed to be staying with us all weekend ended up driving two hours to hang out with her in the town where she’s working. That means I’ve had the house to myself all weekend with no interruptions for the games at all.
Whoever comes out on top this afternoon, it doesn’t really matter. I’ve already won the weekend.
A little time apart is good for everybody. That’s why I go to Riverside once in a while to babysit SIL’s pets. She can easily afford a pet sitter, but Gumby and I need the breaks from each other!
4 & out! Let’s go!
Hail Gamblor! Am Chef fan for a day!
I appreciate the temporary support
Alright.
this…isn’t the most promising of starts
Got out of the shower and into me comfy chair RIGHT for the opening kickoff. Let’s do sum FITBAW!!!
In my garage doin some light carpentry and I have tunes on, and the game on mute. Who do I see? Romo! Suck it Romo, not listening today!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTlOIQHwtJU
Remember a few years ago when we were all so excited to have Romo on the broadcasts? My goodness, how the turn tables.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1wLZc-BqdM
RIP TWBS there is a Karen Carpenter joke in here.
https://twitter.com/PulpLibrarian/status/1751695835216191627
Grandma was hot.
You don’t make the cover of Fart magazine being mid.
If we are honorary Baltimorons today, do I burn my house down before or after the game?
it should already come pre-burnt
witness a murderHouse?
One man’s old refrigerator box is another man’s crack house!
-Ancient Baltimore proverb
“Luxury living!”
— Todd M., current parts unknown
I’d make a joke about Toney but I’m afraid karma will be looking and Toney will end up signing with Cincy next year.
OOF, that’s gotta sting, Equator Boiz
The original Guinea will always be the greatest of the Guineas! Onward to the quarters!
Would that be Romulus or Remus?
Eyyyy, youse didn’t see nuthin!
-Romulus and Remus, transcribed directly from Latin texts
…said see ya later boiz!
…and I’m sure the feeling is mutual.
I’m actually rooting for Baltimore
I don’t know if I would call it rooting, but I like Lamar, and find the Chefs kind of annoying. I will be rooting for the NFC contender in the Owl.
FUCK LOINS OR BUST
Gentlemen and others! We have high drama in the Battle of the Guineas! The EDI-loving Guineans were unfairly reduced to 10 men in the 55th minute, which one would imagine would lead to their doom. Nevertheless, they persevered, and won themselves a penalty kick 15 minutes later. One would think they would take advantage, but in the interest of preserving the deadlock, the EDI Guinean decided to slam the ball into the upright! Tune in now if you want to see the conclusion, as well as some colourful commentary (not raycess!).
Guinea on Guinea violence! HUZZAH
And the EDI-loving Guineans lose at the death! What a devastating way to lose!
It’s gonna be a Zay Day baaaaabbbbyyy
DFO is the label that paaaaaayyyys me
Unreadable so please don’t try to translate me
I’m weirdly proud of my Kadarius Toney hate.
I was going to ask if a banner was ever harvested directly from kontent, because that Toney line is a banger.
I think it’s been discussed and ruled out. Kind of a shame in this case.
we are potentially hours away from a detroit win and the super bowl being declared an unofficial gathering of the juggalos
where can i score some faygo pop
We used to truck it in from Michigan.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjlIFPJUL5Q&pp=ygUMc25sIGZvb3RiYWxs
If you’re so inclined, Amish Stud: The Eli Weaver Story is on Lifetime right now.
Who’s lighting up the “FUCK”
I have no idea what Mrs. Horatio is up to, but I hear a drill.
This is going to require an investigation.
It has something to do with curtain rods.
I’ve removed myself from the situation.
Good thinking-better safe than sorry.
Maybe remove the curtain rods so Lowratio doesn’t get hurt
The colon is the worst. An exclamation point is just emphasis. A colon is usually followed by reason why not.
I know that MY colon sure as fuck is the worst.
Colleagues! I do hope you’ll make some time to tune into the Battle of the Guineas in an hour from now! I have personally put all of my daily allocated shillings on the Republic of Guinea, as it would be unfathomable to support the vile Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion-loving Equatorial Guinea squadron (unless the Equatorial bit implies that they simply prefer the company of horses!). I look forward to collecting my winnings in a few hours!
Pretty sure the latter is named that way because it’s on the Equator and it’s just easier for people to find it that way, your Lordship. It’s consideration behind the name, rather than the vile DEI that is causing Boeing planes to fall apart mid-flight.
I saw a report on the news this morning that kinda reaffirmed my faith in mankind. Or in Italian drivers at least.
Speed monitoring with photo traps has been a thing here for the past 25 years. Being Italians public pressure has demanded that speed trap signs are in place 50 meters before entering the zone. The machines are obvious, this is not Germany where they get down right sneakily nazi on drivers. Also if they are active, the machines have to have their blinking light on. We lead foots get plenty of advantage over here. Still. We speed.
One town got wicked, crack me up, clever. The put plywood black cat cut outs, poised to cross the road, at the base of their traps.
And people slow the fuck down. I am in awe.
https://www.rainews.it/video/2024/01/gravellona-lomellina-pavia-finto-autovelox-con-gatto-nero-proteste-automobilisti-polemiche-13e3c536-bcaa-4ac3-bf71-6b5fc3d4f43b.html
Here is the article.
That’s pretty fucking smart!
In Alberta we have the photo ones as well as ghost cars that they just park on the side of roads with no cop in them. Also they have signs before the intersections where there are red light cameras. Sneakily they also have signs stating that there are cameras, yet there are not.
I only get tickets in playground zones in the winter as the zones run 7 am – 9 pm. It gets fucking dark here at 5 pm, the children are not frolicking!
When they first went into operation over here, they would send the ticket along with your picture to the house with the bill. Until they got sued by a dude, who won in court, because they caused his divorce by sending a picture of him with another lady in the car mind you, that wifey opened at the house. BUSTED. But I just love how they now only send the picture on demand. Italy Buddy!
Interesting – what was the basis for the lawsuit? Invasion of privacy?
Yes invasion of privacy. And men all over bowed down to the Bro for takin one for the team.
Also, I bet on KC to cover. Adjust your own bets accordingly.
Looks like a lovely day in Monza Italy from the game. We go to our man somewhere in Italy 2Pack and his bosomy co-host.
Yeah Buddy… Marika and I are just waiting to get things started here.