Your Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

Welcome back! There was some quality participation in various threads last week and it was great seeing the usuals come hard after taking the summer off. That’s some good commentin’!

Notes:

-The Pac 12 is rising slowly from…something. Basically they offered membership to any school with State after their name and [waves hands around] a general West-ish location. So welcome aboard Fresno State, Boise State, Colorado State and San Diego State. Oregon State and Washington State breath a huge sigh of relief.

-Looks like Malik Willis starts at least one game for Green Bay after being acquired in late August. My only notion of him is that he’s really, really raw.

-Detroit Lions legend Joe Schmidt passed away at the age of 92. For those that may not know, he was one of the most prominent remaining links to the excellent Lions teams of the 50’s. As a linebacker he was the gold standard in that his no-nonsense play caused folks to compare Butkus to him when the latter first entered the league. He was an eight-time All Pro and get this, he coached the team from the mid-sixties to the early 70’s and had a career winning record!

To The Game!

Bills/Fins:

-Rodgers loves to blither about owning Chicago but Josh Allen is 11-2 vs Miami and has thrown for two or more TD’s in every game.

-James Cook’s best buddy just might be OC Joe Brady. Since Ken Dorsey was fired Cook’s usage has gone bananas though I think he’s a bit too small for this kind of work. Then again, it’s not like he gets those goal line carries. He’s a good fit between the 20’s for the most part. I figure Ray Davis would get some action there but did I get sniped? Yes.

-Mostert is out and Achane is limping and a game-timer. Are we going to get a Jeff Wilson day? McDonald brought him onboard from San Fran because he’s trustworthy in pass protection but he’s a bit of a plodder which doesn’t fit the speed-demon profile that Miami’s backs tend to have. Rookie Jaylen Wright fits that bill but it might be too early in his development.

-Ex-Bills safety Jordan Poyer and his punctured lung have been cleared to play for the Fins but not to fly home. Something’s wrong there, just can’t put my finger on it.

Do a thing in the comments.

5 4 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
367 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Doktor Zymm

At least Tua won’t remember what a bad night he had. I hope he retires and takes over Brady’s broadcasting contrac

Horatio Cornblower

Brady’s debut made me long for the quiet competence of Jason Witten.

WCS

Far too many domestic violence, a strange amount of fires, and miracle that is Narcan… not one call yet for any teenaged co-eds being systemically picked off by a masked serial killer.

comment image

WCS

The Lolphins were the only AFC East that ever seemed to really be the turd in Brady-Belichick’s punch bowl.

Bizarre that Josh Allen has become the Bernard Pollard to the LOLphins’ knees.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I love it when I’m surrounded my entire sleeping family and I can drink in peace.

Mr. Ayo

Just a reminder, we’re vacuuming the clubhouse tonight. So keep those feet up!

Unsurprised

CO is a hell of a drug

WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjBYvOsN0Vs

comment image

I think we’re in for a weird weekend.

WCS

….and it’s now Friday the 13th.

Gatoraids
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

When you said “the range” I thought you were talking about the place that I wish Thomas Matthew Crooks had spent more time.

Unsurprised

Did you ever read about the facility where he worked? The world is owned by genuine demons.

WCS

To clarify, thanks to blax I looked at my previous comment and realized how vague that was.

Anyway, I just took my first arson-related call. This is sooooo going to court.

Sharkbait

Did they speak with an Irish accent?

comment image

Doktor Zymm

Oof, arson is nasty stuff

Don T

Was it the IRS? Asking for an imaginary.

Horatio Cornblower

Yahoo passed up James Cook for me and drafted Marvin Harrison Jr. instead, then gave itself an A-.

Game Time Decision

Thanks for passing on him

Sharkbait

comment image

blaxabbath

Use our AI to complete your work projects, look up medical advice, or write a letter confessing your love durrrrrrrrrrr…….

blaxabbath

Fitz: “This brought back some memories from two years ago.”

That man is a fucking liar.

Don T

See if next week brings Fitz memories about the time he was gonna take the Jets to the playoffs until a complete bedshitting on the last game. Which, on balance is a good season. Oh look, fly on my drink. How good.

Don T

Best advice I could find, Brocky
comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The final panel reminded me of this joke, which I thought was delightful.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tu95LbKdLJI

Horatio Cornblower

Texas State calling a useless time-out here is so stupid. ASU should go for the TD.

WCS

I should be laughing at Tittay Inspector’s entrance, but instead, I’m borderline livid right now…

People can be such fucking pieces of shit to each other for absolutely no other reason than just “hey, it was funny at the time!”

blaxabbath

I mean, one of the finer points of a good joke is timing….

Unsurprised

That Money Game series makes me wish so much for the eventual lawsuit against the NCAA, conferences, schools, fucking everyone to be sued by every half-decent college athlete from the last 75 years for reparations.

Gatoraids
Senor Weaselo

I do have to watch Jojo at some point.

Last edited 1 month ago by Senor Weaselo
Gatoraids

first season very different in a Lupin Castle of Castriglio animation style, 2 gets bit different amusing and 3 is where really hits the stride

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oG7jKUHsLfY

Don T

Is there an age limit for game face painting? I’d say yes, 28 for males.

King Hippo

YAAAASSSSS. Also the “shirtless in the stands” bit.

Don T

Disagree, on tropical origin grounds.

Sharkbait

comment image

Unsurprised

It better be below the minimum age to receive Social Security, while it still exists.

Doktor Zymm

“I got my face painted like a cat, MEOW!”
-Eli

Unsurprised

Truth Biscuit Titties is in!

clint greasewood

Time for the Truth Biscuit

Doktor Zymm

I don’t think it would have helped with that particular situation, but if anyone should be wearing a Guardian helmet it’s Tua

Unsurprised

God damn it, Lauren Holly was so fucking hot in that movie.

Unsurprised

comment image

WCS

Dennis Gets Dead

blaxabbath

Texas State’s WR went total business decision there. Just gave up that ball to the safety. No fight whatsoever. Kid bailed on the play.

blaxabbath

ASU responds with a quick TOD.

Gatoraids

Skyler going to have to complete that to a Bills Defender if he wants Tuas Job

Horatio Cornblower

So many current strippers and future used car salesmen chanting ASU! ASU! ASU! right now.

blaxabbath

They think they’re gonna be models and finance managers.

blaxabbath

Texas State’s uniforms look like the output of, “Combine ASU and UA’s uniforms into a single scheme.” in whatever AI. Walmart’s, I guess.

Doktor Zymm

Shank’lor showed up, looked at the score, and just went YOLO

blaxabbath

Should I be coming over for the emergence of the Tua/Thompson debate?

Brocky

So, since this game is over, and we all have a focus on our health….

Has anyone had any experience with “IV” injections soley for dehydration?

There’s a business near my office that I spotted. I’ve been struggling with dehydration for like two years now, just can’t seem to drink enough water.

Is it pseudoscience or does it have merit? I know at least the “hangover cures” work

Gumbygirl

It can’t hurt to get some hydration.

King Hippo

My buddy’s wife was a nurse, and he had her run IVs for him a few times when he was hungover.

King Hippo

(but just drink some Pedialyte, much easier)

Brocky

Been trying some form of additive for months, no difference

Unsurprised

Try butt-chugging it

WCS

Ex-wifey did that more than thrice on this dipshit.

Don T

Total pseudo sci. Instead, take dehydrated water supplements.

blaxabbath

I followed over to this ASU/TXST 4th ground tie score.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I’ve had an IV for dehydration twice- both in an urgent care setting.

1. Yes, it works in an acute context
2. The issue may be potassium or magnesium rather than straight hydration- drinking too much water can strip those out
3. I wouldn’t trust one of those “medspa” places to give me directions, let alone plunge something into me.

2Pack

Better to do it naturally. Had IVs after sustained heavy training and they do perk you right back up. But the better way is always have a water bottle near by and take a good drink every 20-30 minutes. Try that with pediolite (sp?) if water is not working or too boring. No soda, sports drinks get expensive. Get a hydration pack it practical for you. But really just water slowly all day.

Doktor Zymm

Are you having actual negative effects from dehydration? It really takes quite a bit to end up with kidney problems, if you just aren’t peeing as often as they say is ideal you’re probably fine

Don T

I’m getting moiderd by Achane and the Bills D on Freezer Vodka. But NAWT gonna tank for Lowratio.

Horatio Cornblower

You don’t have to tank, you just have to pay the union-negotiated ra…

Oh, right the fantasy football thing.

Carry on.

Sharkbait

I got fucked by Saquon in week one, got fucked by Cook this week.

Unsurprised

What are you, Polynesian?

Bogdanski

Well, you can’t be playing me because I have achane and was so smart thinking the dolphins were a high scoring team that I benched the buffalo d. Oh well

WCS

So… the JV-former-Fightin’-Herm-Edwards-and-new-Big-12-16-member-Sun-Devils are tied with future Pac-132 member Texas State, 28-28 in the fourth.

comment image

blaxabbath

The fucking deuce Herm left for that place to clean up would have tanked the program for a decade, in the old conference format.

Now their coach goes on the radio and is like, literally, just calling for more money because that’s the remedy – the only remedy – to any woes in CFB. He’s saying, give me money and I’ll take care of the rest. The Ghost of Herm Edwards wasn’t spotted on the edge of Sun Devil Stadium for even a day.

clint greasewood

Live look at Brain Flores replying the Tua injury
comment image

fleshwound_NPG

hopefully, next week ends in the dumbest tie

Wakezilla

Could Miami off the BC LioUns a quick million to take Nathan Rourke off their hands?

He’d be a great fit for Miami, and VA can be the undisputed #1 again. Seems like a win/win

Gatoraids

Ross already consulting the insurance for burning the stadium down and if it will pay more if he does it with all the fans inside

litre_cola

Tanneyhill back to Miami.

Gatoraids

Ak-47s for everyone

litre_cola

Sorry, totes forgot about that killing machine in my trunk teehee.

Gatoraids

no charges filed, no wonder why

Unsurprised

Besides it being a shithole state?

Unsurprised

Of all the times for Jamie Foxx not to do his Trump impressions. I can’t think of a more fitting instance than to mock that snake oil salesman than in a gambling ad.

Bogdanski

It took them a whole six minutes to diagnose him with a concussion?

Unsurprised

They had to find a sober doctor.

WCS

Doc was just snorting blow since 05:00. He never had any booze.