Sexy Friday – 20241011

TGIF! We’ve got a rocking dirt ball game starting, so let’s get to it!

Survival – Personal Edition

Not a cat person? Well here’s one way to make them a more palatable option in your abode: toilet training! Let’s get that kitty using the toilet and get rid of that smelly mess of a litter box.

  • Move the litter box next to the toilet. If you have the option, do this with a seldom used toilet to make your life easier.
  • Once kitty is adjusted and comfortable with the next litter box position, start periodically raising the litter box using books or stands. After raising the litter box, leave it at that level until kitty is again adjusted and comfortable with the new position. Repeat until the litter box is level with the toilet seat.
  • The next step is to move the litter box to on top of the toilet seat. Again, leave it there until kitty is adjusted and comfortable. This is also why I suggested a seldom used toilet for this exercise, as you’ll have to remove and replace the litter box each time you want to use the toilet.
  • Now for the switch-a-roo. Remove the litter box, and replace it with a metal mixing bowl that fits securely in the toilet bowl and under the toilet seat. Fill that mixing bowl with some cat litter.
  • For the first few uses, keep a sharp on your kitty and help them position their paws when using the toilet: Two paws at the front of the seat, and two at the rear of the seat so that kitty is squatting.
  • Continue until kitty adjusts and can use the toilet comfortably and without your assistance. Then replace the cat litter with just water. Be there when kitty finishes and empty the mixing bowl into the toilet and flush while kitty watches.
  • And finally the last step: Remove the mixing bowl and let kitty go straight into the toilet bowl.

That’s pretty easy, it just requires a lot of patience because cats are notoriously difficult to train aside from feeding times.

Click here to get to commenting

Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!

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Mr. Ayo
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WCS

If yinz are also feeling down on yinzself about a mistake, a brainfart if you will, that put a damper on an otherwise good day, just know you are not the Yinzer who drunkenly drove his truck into a utility pole and cause a blackout in for the neighborhood. Also, our SMRT friend was driving on a suspended license for…? DUI.

I didn’t take any calls related to this, just watching the reports come in because I’m nebby* and it’s entertaining.

*gumbygirl, Boganski, and Downfield Matriculator know

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Still up, eh?

It’s 8:30 a.m. here in Barcelona. Thanks for the morning sexiness!

WCS

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You’re in Spain?!

yeah right

Now I found a place that pours a proper pint.

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yeah right

I dated this acidic bitch back in the 80’s..

Finally, hello peoples!

Happy fucking Friday and no, I do not have a 3 day weekend.

World thrives on us working class motherfuckers.

WCS

Utah’s quarterback Cam Rising’s 77-year-old age is starting to show.

Doktor Zymm

Is a basic bitch better than an acidic bitch?

WCS

My ex-wifey could be labeled as “acidic bitch” at times…

yeah right

By far!

Doktor Zymm

Kiss them apexes!

yeah right

They’re what the NFL is trying to be. They can stretch this shit out over close to a calendar year.

More if there’s a world cup of an Olympics.

Last edited 1 month ago by yeah right
litre_cola

Arrived safely. Wine in hand.

yeah right

Travel safe me droog.

Brick Meathook

When she’s done in there, I hope that last gal squeegees her butt prints off the shower door.

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s art, sir. I’m hanging that door on my wall.

2Pack

I’ll help.

Doktor Zymm

The doors of buttception have been cleansed

WCS

If yinz don’t want to feel quite so old, Beavis and Butthead would have been Highland High School class of 1995, provided they actually graduated.

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Doktor Zymm

I don’t usually look at the pics much, but I gotta say that it’s true that us ladies 100% enjoy our tea exactly like Miss 2. Can be awkward for work meetings tho

2Pack

Seriously.

Unsurprised

Oh,motherfucker! #6 is CGI

Unsurprised

/Old man yells at cloud

herodotus450

Damn, she was the one I had a chance with!

SonOfSpam

CGI?

Craves Genital Interplay? Cool.

2Pack

Damn it.

2Pack

Lady number 6 this week Mr Ayo, thank you for the solid effort here. She needs her back washed, and I’m here to help.

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Unsurprised

That’s the front!?!? Goodness.

Doktor Zymm

Crazy scapulas if it was the back

Brick Meathook

Are we live? Fuck!

Doktor Zymm

Don’t worry we got a fake tape delay of 2.7 seconds

Doktor Zymm

Oh! Twist on Hippo’s brilliant JV idea! Anytime and underdog of 10+ points they can rename the stadium or sell the rights for NIL monies

Brick Meathook
Unsurprised

I had to take a vicarious trauma class and I stupidly paid attention instead of just flying through it in a perfunctory manner. So instead of taking five minutes it took a couple of hours because it made me think about my own bullshit, which was the topic of my two non-work interactions with humans this week, and so that’s my day.

Doktor Zymm

Curious what a vicarious trauma class is? Don’t know what your circumstances are, but if it capured your interest then maybe not a horrible use of the time?

Unsurprised

It was basically a glorified slide show of things like compassion fatigue and burnout. My agency, and I imagine other agencies in the state, are on a big well-being kick because morale is low at the agency. I just happen to be in a position where I don’t speak to the public on the phone every day because I’m temporarily assigned to this project. But I will return there. It’s hard to explain, or maybe I just don’t want to. It is funny that all of these trauma responses, in this instance, responses to indirect trauma, are all things that I deal with all the time. I can’t remember how active I was around here at the time, but I weathered the pandemic pretty well (except that I gained a bunch of weight) and never got Covid. But as it was winding down I started feeling shitty. And I know there’s something to that because I also felt a sense of meaning I don’t have any more and didn’t before I started this job. It’s all just really like I’m trying to tell myself something and the world is, too. But I don’t listen too well.

It wasn’t a waste of time. It just wasn’t how I planned to spend my Friday/first day back after missing two days due to sinus infection awfulness.

jjfozz

What does “compassion” mean?

Doktor Zymm

That sounds heavy on the soul (and on the body if I wanted to make a fat joke which I kinda do despite having wildly fluctuating weight myself). I wish you the dual, possibly contradictory, outcomes of getting whatever you need out of that but also having a good weekend

Unsurprised

Make the fat joke.

Doktor Zymm

I just looked at a bottle of fancy rum and thought, “oooh, 2007, that’s quite old!” then realized I graduated from college in 2003 and felt even older

Unsurprised

I saw a “You must be born after this date in 2003” sign at bar last weekend and wanted to die.

Doktor Zymm

I remember when it rolled over to ‘oh you’re birthdate starts with a 1, you’re good’
I haven’t actually gone out to places that card in the past few years, and I know the millenium is an artificial landmark, but still

Game Time Decision

Youngest GTD will be able to legally drink here in a few months. Born in 2005, as drinking age here is 19.how the hell am I old enough to have a kid that old?

Doktor Zymm

You aren’t, that’s not how time works. You’re still the same age as you were and the kid somehow aged faster than time. It’s true.

Game Time Decision

Time is a flat circle

WCS

She is a doktorb.

ArmedandHammered

Wait till they hit 30, totally different kinda sucker punch.

Doktor Zymm

I still think of my parents as in their 40s, even though I’m over 40 now. It doesn’t make rational sense but there’s no dissonance there

Game Time Decision

Youngin, class of 1996

SonOfSpam

(sigh) ’91

ballsofsteelandfury

You’re a kid.

’88

ballsofsteelandfury

Wait, college? 92

SonOfSpam

Yeah, youngster.

ArmedandHammered

Class of 1984 (high school)

2Pack

I had a shot in the arm this week. Met an old acquaintance who is now a 4 star general at an event. He told me I look younger every time he sees me. Being the smart ass I am I responded, are you trying to pick me up? The multitude of other cheese eating colonels and high ranking civilians around stare all stunned as he laughed and we chatted. I’m fully at the ain’t care age in life.

Unsurprised

Just another instance of the U.S. Woke Force

2Pack

Don’t get me started…

Col. Duke LaCross

You’re just a pup!

/Class of ‘02

WCS

1902?!?

jjfozz

Then there’s this

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jjfozz

I went to go pick up dinner. It is a 20 minute round trip. In the course of that time here is what I complained about, out loud, to myself:

  • The lack of customer service at the sub shop
  • The price of a liter bottle of Canada Dry
  • The condition of the parking lot where the 7-11 sits
  • My wife’s view of me – that I am a fucking dunce

Jesus Christ. I’m my father.

Doktor Zymm

The price of crappy ginger ale IS outrageous

ballsofsteelandfury

We insulting The Hat now?

Doktor Zymm

They aren’t going to export their good stuff

blaxabbath

I called the customer service thing when Covid hit, everyone’s service went to crap, the prices all went up, and the only effort to improve was a letter saying, “everyone is busy. Thanks for accepting the new ‘value’.”

It’s gone. Don’t complain. Adapt. Like your father world.

rockingdog

Lmao ⚾️

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LemonJello

Well, Padres, there’s always game 6…wait, I’m getting something from the control room…

rockingdog

Found a funny:

Cool desire, bro. It would be a shame if it was the root of all suffering

Redshirt

What is Donald Trump telling his friends and family he’s running for president?

I’ll take Animal Genitalia Audio Clues for $500, Ghost Alex.

rockingdog

Hopefully this commercial goes viral!

That would be Rocking!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jLzYPbtklGs

blaxabbath

I’m more of a man than any of those elite Hollywood actors.

Bogdanski

Any time you can get cat training tips from one of the most influential bassists of the 20th century you gotta do it https://books.google.com/books/about/The_Charles_Mingus_CAT_Alog_for_Toilet_T.html?id=AVKbzgEACAAJ&source=kp_book_description

WCS

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Doktor Zymm

He was too good for Archer

King Hippo

There’s sommet just inherently uplifting about seeing someone enjoy needle/spoony time while wearing a tie.

WCS

It’s professional.

Unsurprised

.

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Doktor Zymm

Maybe comfortable, but doesn’t actually feel better

herodotus450

Buffalo Springton would be a great name for a Spinal Tap tribute band.

King Hippo

THERE WILL BE NO ENCORE

Redshirt

For reasons, I’ve cropped the picture. No nudity but it’s obvious what they are doing.

If Mods give the okay, I’ll post the whole thing.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Okay

Horatio Cornblower

I’m not a mod, but I approve.

Redshirt

Once again, I succumb to peer pressure.

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Unsurprised

I have my doubts

Doktor Zymm

Eh, it’s good but not the best

Unsurprised

I KNEW IT

Col. Duke LaCross

Kinda rough on the hips.

Doktor Zymm

I love 4 but I think my week was more of a 6

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King Hippo

Depending on my level of gastrointestinal discomfort, I’mma 2 or 7

WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdljmzHtFB0

Which one is the Elmer’s factory? That’s how Qaron’s week has been.

Gumbygirl

I’m 8. I’m giving all the side-eye. People are idiots, I’m sick of it. Gonna pet my cat, (not a euphemism) maybe take a bath. You guys are awesome, I’m not sick of yinz, just mad at the world. See ya later, be good!

Doktor Zymm

All the hugs

King Hippo

New GRATE idea! What if a rival college sponsoUred a school’s JV NFL stadium?

Doktor Zymm

Roll Tide at the Vandydome!

SonOfSpam

“Michigan Stadium, sponsored by THE Ohio State”

“Welcome to UCLA football at The Trojans Rule Rose Bowl”

“Gametime for Army at beautiful West Point…we’re coming to you live from Go Navy Beat Army Which Is Full Of Pedos Field”

WCS

The Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corp football team, sponsored by Mossad.

Doktor Zymm

Fuck if I’ll let Putin buy out Kiev Dinamo

King Hippo

Now THAT would be a spicy meatball World Cup final!

Redshirt

Proposed Suggestion: The Rival School chooses the name.

Jerry Sandusky Memorial Stadium

Notre Dame Stadium: Where Altar Boys are Turned Into Men

Michigan Stadium (Ohio Branch)

Unsurprised

Do you all see an increase in dogs replacing children and these dog people who let their shitty pets get fur and shit and slobber all over places that used to only be acceptable for people to shit and shed and slobber on? It’s basically Children of Men out there, and it fucking sucks.

ballsofsteelandfury

Yes, I see the pets replacing kids thing. I don’t get it.

I have neither.

Doktor Zymm

The ones who are shitty dog parents would most likely be shitty human parents as well and the dogs don’t live as long and can’t cause as much harm. Seems like a win to me

Unsurprised

Sometimes they’re both!

Doktor Zymm

Unfortunate

Unsurprised

Never mind. I don’t want to drag everyone down. We all know what we’re really here for:

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scotchnaut

Ok. Fine.

[lifts up t-shirt, exposes nipples]

SonOfSpam

Why do you have a third one Scotch-taped between the other two?

Doktor Zymm

Fine, I’ll get the sharpie

ballsofsteelandfury

Last picture for me this week.

Unsurprised

I prefer 6.

King Hippo

#Leadoff para el Hippo

King Hippo

Fun earworm! Replace “soul” with “hole” (aka The Nightman Cometh), and this is a funny anti-anal song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4go_DzY8wHc

SonOfSpam

Also! This is the song they led off with when I saw them a couple years ago. And it’s a great stadium song.

King Hippo

I bet they’s quite good live.

SonOfSpam

Yeah, worth leaving the house for, and not much is.

Redshirt

.

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Horatio Cornblower

https://twitter.com/ClassicStrips/status/1844895207470326184

Seems relevant to a discussion about personal survivors. Don’t draw straws against a smart dog.

Doktor Zymm

Gary acknowledged he drew the dog without arms

Doktor Zymm

Legs? Top legs? Front legs?

SonOfSpam

We may have read the same thing, because I remember him saying his favorite part of this cartoon was the look on the dog’s face; serious, but confident. Like he’s not celebrating, but he’s ready to make sure the rules are followed.

Doktor Zymm

Yes, it was a large format book of his comics that he annotated I think

Game Time Decision

I Gotta read the rest of his collection

Doktor Zymm

Not the only use for an artificial tongue, but a useful one for sure!

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herodotus450

Pretty sure I’ve seen that before in a video with a castle at the beginning

King Hippo

Northwestern/Maryland, reminding us it’s still 2+ hours until Secular Big Love v. Sparky.

Last edited 1 month ago by King Hippo
SonOfSpam

Were I in Vegas, I’d love Sparky plus not-quite-a-touchdown.

(Utah will obviously roll)

LemonJello

Can someone that follows the basedballs answer this question:

How gritty is Ohtani?

Unsurprised

I assume White counts for at least 99% of grit.

Horatio Cornblower

That might be a tad low.

herodotus450

He’s more…. clever than gritty. Crafty even.

LemonJello

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Unsurprised

I want to post a Cum Town clip, but I won’t.

Doktor Zymm

Kitties are both awesome and fuzzy. Even the dumb ones can learn, I cat sat for an adorable idiot for a year and she learned to drink from a dripping tap. Best kitty ever, she liked upsidedown hugs