are you ready for…THE NIGHT OF THE LIVING HARBAUGHS! A Double-Heading NFL Football Open Thread

I’m 10 days early but that scary day is coming fast. Some games yesterday brought it, others didn’t-as always, the NFL is a mixed bag. Let’s take a wee peek at some of the goings-on.

Fallout:

Injuries, injuries, injuries-Deshaun is done with an Achilles, Jay Daniels got hit in the ribs but will probably play, Pharma willing. Xavier Newman was released from the hospital so that’s good. Aiyuk is gone with a torn MCL/ACL double play. McConnell has a fractured thumb. (hey, I had one of those!) Tua’s cerebellum is coming along wonderfully.

What The Hell, Dell?: My favorite Tank (screw off, Bigsby) was held to nothing yesterday. This despite Stroud going to him twice in the end zone early and once along the sideline but nothing connected. Stroud ended up 10-21 which for an accurate passer like him seems like an outlier. I think Nico is the key to this offense no matter what Diggs thinks.

The Jets are 2-5 just like the Giants. New York, New York, it’s a helluva town!

Enjoy the second-best season of Saquon’s career! A balanced offense guarantees that he won’t reach the heights of his rookie season but if he doesn’t get 1800 scrimmage yards I’ll be surprised.

Dave Canales has to be consoled by the fact that there was no locker room to lose. Everyone, including Dave is just treading water this year. He was that trendy guy but when a team is this far into the doldrums, I don’t think he’s got the strong, over-riding personality to pull this team into semi-mediocrity.

Jared Goff, that QB that had to be managed carefully, is averaging 12 yards per pass attempt so far this year. That’s insane and the Lions O is bananas right now.

To The Games!

Ravens/Bucs:

-As of this week Lamar is second in career rushing yards by QB’s.

-Henry has scored in every game this year [jumps into crystal ball] including this one.

-Evans and Godwin are so consistently successful I don’t think they’ll get their proper credit until 10 years down the road. As far as post-2000 pairings they’re right there with Harrison/Wayne, Jimmy Smith/McCardell, Fitz/Boldin and Holt/Bruce.

-What with Bucky Irving and Sean Tucker asserting themselves recently, the Bucs have the most wonderful of problems-three rb’s with a ton of talent.

Chargers/Cards:

-Arizonny has been doing a Jeckyl/Hyde thingy offense-wise-their first two tilts they went for 28+ but in their last three of four they’ve scored 14 or less.

-Them Chargers are the only team in the league to allow 20 or less points in all their games. Harbaugh has one side of the ball figured out and if I’m going to be truthful, he did it way faster than I expected.

-One preview I read was gushing that Herbert threw for a season high of 237 yards! Oh, how the mighty have been knee-capped by the emphasis on the running game!

-Fantasy-wise, has anyone else been sitting on Kimani Vidal? He popped last week but Dobbins has been very stubborn in that he hasn’t been injured just yet.

Hit the keyboard running!

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Redshirt

Arizona-LAC is on ESPN+? They C-USA’d a Monday Night Football NFL game?!

Doktor Zymm

Baltimore doing their Raiders imitation there

Gatoraids

Doink’lar blessing snaps as well. Praise his vision

Gumbygirl

What the hell was that?

Gatoraids

Thought Hanson was scared away by Belichick’s glowering but turns out the power of a TD brought him back

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Given some of the slack jawed pauses in the Manningcast, they should pump up the on field and crowd audio.

Brocky

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Wakezilla

Dicker? I hardly know her

Gatoraids

he shoulda been traded to the Rams

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Does he have a kid?

LemonJello

ELITE commentary coming in the 3rd – GET YOUR NON-FAT ICE MILK READY!!

jjfozz

my dad loved vodka

the ravens sucked ass in the first quarter

i started drinking vodka

the ravens stopped sucking

this proves that there is an afterlife, and that i should drink vodka all the time

SUCK IT ATHEISTS!

Doktor Zymm

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jjfozz

I tried caviar ONCE in my life and said, “An asshole from Baltimore may like seafood, but not this stuff them rich people eat.” seriously, caviar tastes like the rotten ass of a beached whale.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This guy knows from experience

jjfozz

Perhaps . . .

Gumbygirl

I love it.

Doktor Zymm

I think it’s an acquired taste, also it tastes better when it’s free

Wakezilla

“Wait, you’re supposed to kick the ball through the uprights? I thought it was just a suggestion!” — Jason Sanders

Brocky

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Spur

This Year’s GOP Senate hopefuls look very regal.

Redshirt

You are giving the GOP too much credit.

Mr. Ayo

Tractorcito ded?

Doktor Zymm

Nope, just parked

Sharkbait

I need him anytime TD scorer

Redshirt

.

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Gumbygirl

Keep him there!

LemonJello

Baker Baker the Turnover Maker is in the kitchen tonight!

Cecil Rhodes

My word! This Baker just can’t stop producing delicious turnovers! Even though he does not appear to be an Undesirable, I must assign him to my kitchen staff at once!

Wakezilla

Humphrey looking like John Allen Muhammad by sniping that Mayfield ball

SonOfSpam

Deep cut (like the hole they cut in the car so they could shoot people)

BugEyedBoo

.

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Mr. Ayo

Fumble out of the end zone! This is like a TNF football game.

Sharkbait
Gumbygirl

Needs more stabbing.

Redshirt

.

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Wakezilla

This is Toronto Blue Jays erasure

Wakezilla

NGL, that Pizza Pizza left wing/right wing chicken wing commercial is pretty good

Doktor Zymm

Wait, does that still count as an interception when Arizona got the ball back on the same play?

Doktor Zymm

Oh Bullshit! The D still gets the points for the int and doesn’t lose any for the turnover!

Redshirt

Yes. Interception and a fumble. Double Turnover.

No, Mr. Reid. It’s a football term.

litre_cola

Flowers ded too?

Gatoraids

Carr valentines day come early

Mr. Ayo

Double Turnovers in Arizona!

Paging Andy again!

Last edited 1 month ago by Mr. Ayo
litre_cola

Oh Baker that was a bit too much forcing it.

LemonJello

A real Groper Cleveland tribute!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I know I missed almost all the football yesterday, but I really enjoyed the Cleveland fans chanting “YOU DESERVE IT” at Watson.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Elementary or not, it was a good chant.

Doktor Zymm

Ruh roh, hamstring is porked

Mr. Ayo

Alert Andy Reid! There’s some fresh torn hammy available in Tampa.

LemonJello

Moons Over My Hammy is Eli’s favorite IHOP breakfast sandwich. Though he LOVES the Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity platter.

LemonJello

So many bodies laying on the field they need to call in a Medevac!

LemonJello

It’s looking more and more like ArmedandHammered is going to get the W in Lowratio League thanks to my Bearesnschiesse Barons living up to their namesakes this week.

WCS

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Spur
Senor Weaselo

I’d say in shock results I’m gonna lose this week, but in fairness, I had four on bye so I figured I was cooked. And then they also underperformed (like the Jets D)!

Spur

We got tickets for the UNLV/Boise State game on Friday. Its the biggest Mountain West this year, until the teams play again at the Mountain West Championship game.

Unsurprised

I got that short rib Costco lasagna one of you recommended instead of coming right home for the game.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That was me! I hope you enjoy it as much as we did.

Col. Duke LaCross

Got a bad feeling this is the week where the ‘Waffles start leaking oil in the Lowratio League.

WCS

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Horatio Cornblower

I had you right up until they started tonight’s games.

All I needed was Marvin Jr. and The Wee Baby Kyler to combine to outscore LaMAR! by 1 point and frankly it appears that was a bit beyond their ability.

LemonJello

I want to watch the game and hear the Mannings and Belichick talk fitbaw, you can keep the gimmicky “in studio” bullshit to a minimum, thankyouverymuch.

Brocky

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Brick Meathook

PHOTOGRAPHER: “Gimme yer war face.”

PLAYER: “Aaaaaaarrgghhhh!!!!”

Brocky

I hope his hall of fame bust is screaming like this

Spur

Lamar Sandwich!

Brocky

Speaking of matchups, who’s managing gimil’s team?

Gumbygirl

That’s Rikki.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wait, I *won*? How did that happen, I thought I was cooked!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ah, I see. It was Pickens’ big night against the Jets.

Ah…we’ll always have the Jets.

Brocky

Wait, I *won*? How did that happen, I thought I was cooked!

Yeah, try not to rub it it

I honestly don’t know how they get those percentages.

I’ve got 90% in my money league and I don’t trust it

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wasn’t I at 30% or something? That seems reasonable; I needed a pretty big game from Pickens and was lucky enough to get it.

Spur

A Harbaugh cant take much more

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Doktor Zymm

Kinda thinking I might try to go to the Bears/Lions game on Thanksgiving. Any chance someone here would want to join me?

Spur

Sorry, I have to silently contain my rage for 10 hours while have dinner with the family.

Gatoraids

Aaron is that you?

Redshirt

Good, we have an insider in case next month’s election goes south. We will have to deprogram Spur/Aaron though.

(grabs baseball bat and jumper cables)

Mr. Ayo

If they’re playing in Spokane for some reason, I’ll join!

Spur

Dallas should check if they could get Myles Garrret for a slightly used Trey Lance

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

slightly used…Lance

But enough about the Roman Empire-era relic I bought off of eBay last week…

Spur

I heard Rodgers had another blamefest after last nights game. It must be like Christmas for those New Yorker sports writers.

Spur

Evening Folks

Doktor Zymm

Is it SuperCovid? Or maybe Bird Flu? Is Deebo a bird? Whichever it is, I hope he feels better soon

Redshirt

The Script has gone too far this time!

Doktor Zymm

Green Bay D is apparently good against the pass, the NFC North is pretty nuts. Heard a stat that whoever plays Detroit loses the following week. Will be interesting to see if that holds for the Vikes.

As for tonight,
Go Tractorcito!

Gumbygirl

Don’t go too much Tractorcito! BC Dick has him in the Lowratio League, and against all odds, I can win this one.

King Hippo

both of my matchups AI think are 50/50, but I expect to lose both (one close, one badly). Think I’mma just go to bed. The best part of depression is the extra sleep. The worst part is the dreams, though.

Doktor Zymm

I also expect to lose both my matchups, though I’m surprised that I’ve got as much of a chance as I do after the soggy fart that was my WR performance yesterday

Gumbygirl

My WR’s were great yesterday. I had a full diaper blowout with my soon to be ex kicker.

SonOfSpam

I expect you to lose Freezer Vodka too, which is good news for you.

Gumbygirl

Feel better, Your Majesty. We are all counting on you!

Don T

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WCS

The UFL teams are the chef’s kiss.

Don T

Who runs that glory hole? Tom Coughlin?

Redshirt

-Mike Brown, roughly 59 minutes into visiting an escort.

WCS

O AN U NOE HE AINT PAYIN FOR DA FURS FITTY NINE BULLLEEEE DAT CHUH CHUH

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