Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
The world is so unpredictable. Things happen suddenly, unexpectedly. We want to feel we’re in control of our own existence. In some ways we are, in some ways we’re not. We are ruled by the forces of chance and coincidence [in bed].
Paul Auster

As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.

Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/42043231/tyrique-stevenson-taunts-commanders-fans-seconds-bears-lose-hail-mary-td

This is Peak Bearsenscheisse.

Instead of watching the play, dumbass was taunting fans with his back turned.
WCS

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Just got my Flu and COVID vaccines. Per the DFO Bylaws, I’ll report any superpowers or increased thirst for human flesh/or blood.
Redshirt

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Ever seen an egg hatch? There’s nothing and then you witness life enterring the world.

This week 8 2024 is the birth of the Cardinals’ next era of bottom-half of the division meddling. I’m telling you, it’s all here.

-Kyler finally LEADING!
-Gannon being TOUGH! Says the word “Violence”!
-Marvey gonna pop
-GOT KICKER FIGURED OUT
-“…and imagine how good they’ll be IN A COUPLE MORE SEASONS!”

They’re going to re-re-committ to XBJ after another flirtatious (if that’s what you call the occasional handy in Year 6) season and a few shots of, “Just make the playoffs and then we got a chance!”.

Michael Bidwills sexuality aside, you all can mark my words.
blaxabbath

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The Dr. Mrs. just described sports radio as “a bunch of white guys complaining about people” and I do not think should could possibly be more right about it.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Which of you did this?
https://www.reddit.com/r/cocktails/comments/1gexqr3/my_newest_joke_cocktail_the_gin_jizz/?utm_source=embedv2&utm_medium=post_embed&utm_content=post_title&embed_host_url=https://doorfliesopen.com/2024/10/29/subsequent-gtd-reflections-193/
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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So, New York lost a game on the equinox in:

-MLB
-NFL
-NBA
-MLS

But not in the NHL! (Because they were all off.)

In conclusion, despite it being 10 AM at me in a suit at work for a gig I should probably drink on principle.
Senor Weaselo

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Found a funny: Two nuns were riding their bikes through the Old Town. The first nun says, ” I don’t think we’ve come this way before. ” The second nun replies, ” I think it’s the cobblestones.”
Gumbygirl

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I’m back in Milwaukee for a few days to help my mom while she has surgery. Just the two hour difference is really screwing with me (I live in SD). I just thankful the surgery should be simple
Bogdanski

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FREDDIE FUCKING FREEMAN!
Mr. Ayo

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This is Mrs. Horatio. Friend of hers winds up in the hospital with a myriad of issues. She’s a caterer by trade, and has her own kitchen located below another business. She’s due for a health inspection in a week or so and is worried that her health won’t let her keep it to the required conditions.

So Mrs. Horatio is now on her second trip down to the kitchen to get it to her own standard, which I promise you will exceed anything the health inspector can come up with. She’ll be there for multiple hours and will be paid in chocolate chip cookies, which she doesn’t eat.

But which I do.

Talk about out-kicking your coverage. Way to go, me.
Horatio Cornblower

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Say what you will about the Yankees: they went pretty far for a very, very, very stupid team.

And I hope those two fucktards from last night are happy about the karmic blowback they brought on. Hope they get hit by a bus while trying to cross the street from whatever bar they drown their sorrows at tonight.
Horatio Cornblower

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Mrs Fozz: “Our 10 year old son is having 5 of his friends spend the night tomorrow night, after they go trick or treating.”

Me: “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, WOMAN?”

Mrs. Fozz: “Please stop cursing.”

Me: “DID YOU NOT HEAR ME WHEN I SAID ‘WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK’”?
jjfozz

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Roughing the snapper. Hehe.
Gumbygirl

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Decilitre got 300 pieces of candy. Over a dozen full size Coffee Crisps.
litre_cola

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I’d like to thank the Jets for their efforts at making the Yankees look like the second-dumbest team in New York(ish) this week.

It’s not working, but I appreciate the effort.
Horatio Cornblower

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When I’m elected Evil Ruler of the World, any player who drops the ball before the goal line negating an easy touchdown, shall have footballs duct taped to both of his hands for the remainder of the game. Repeat offenders will have the footballs melted to their hands.

In the meantime: BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!
Redshirt

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The Jets did a pretty good job on their ‘football team’ costume, it’s almost convincing!
Doktor Zymm

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My wife is having a BALL listening to the horrible shit I’m yelling at Aaron Rodgers.
Fronkenshteen

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Left a bowl of candy on the porch while we took the kids trick or treating. When we got back home we discovered someone took the whole bowl.

Not just the candy. They took the physical bowl. Who steals a mixing bowl??
Sharkbait

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Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go make myself something different to get this olive taste out of my mouth.

– Popeye
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Dropped off my ballot today. Had a brief moment of feeling like part of something important. Don’t think I had that in other elections. Hope it’s not a premonition of something horrible, like this being the last election where chicks are allowed to vote or similar
Doktor Zymm

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Me: [dry brining a turkey]

Wifey: “Are you going to cook it today?”

Me: “I can let it go for as long as 72 hours.”

Wifey: “But I’m kinda feeling like turkey.”

Me: “You hate turkey. What are you talking about?”

Her: “Sometimes I feel like turkey, other times it makes me want to throw up. BTW, we don’t have any potatoes or stuffing.”

Me: “YOU HATE STUFFING!”

Her: “There was that one time you made it and it was ok.”

Me: “When was that?”

Her: “I don’t remember.”

Me: [walks to bathroom, takes inventory of razors there]
scotchnaut

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Wee man was selected to walk out with the team in the Canadian Premier league final here in Cavalry country next Saturday. Much excite.
litre_cola

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Gumby has had a rough couple of days. I’m thinking tomorrow will be better, he usually perks up for the NFL games. I hope all of yinz have fun in Seattle tomorrow.
Gumbygirl

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I know every other train has priority over Amtrak, but I guess that’s life in the sticks for ya.
Unsurprised

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To long sleeve or not long sleeve, that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The stinging cold rain of Seahawks games,
Or to cover thy arms against the cold wet
And by covering warm them. Too dry – too warm,
No more; and by warm to say we end
The RAM IT chants and the thousand year old Stafford
That is the QB, ’tis a celebration
Devoutly to be wish’d. Too dry, too warm;
Too warm, perchance to drink – ay, there’s my beer…

/chugs Rainier
ThePirateSloth

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I expected more live transmissions from that LAR-SEA game, from both sections.

See if you can take a photo of each other across the stadium.
Brick Meathook

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One funny thing that happened while we were in Philadelphia was that the Dr. Mrs. tried to give a homeless guy a tupperware full of cheese and his response was “Miss, I don’t want this,” as he pushed it back into her hands.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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