Sexy Friday – 20241220

TGIF! College Football Playoffs just kicked off! Tune in to see if #Windiana can keep it going against the Golden Domers. I heard there may be snow!

Survival – Personal Edition

Island time! Except it’s deserted, you’re stuck there, and need to survive until people notice you’re missing and come find you.

  • Water. You need to find drinkable water first and foremost to survive. Hollow out tree trunks to collect rainwater. But that has to be consumed within a day before it goes bad. Water from a coconut is also good, but in moderation. Too much and you’ll get diarrhea. Some islands will have a wetter, mountainous center, so be sure to explore as much of the island terrain as possible.
  • Protect your body. Stay in the shade to protect yourself from the sun and stay away from the sun reflecting off the ocean. If freshwater is available, dampen your clothes during the hot hours to cool yourself and avoid sweating out water. Do not use saltwater for this as that will result in boils and sores.
  • Food. Your best bet is fishing. Find a forked stick and tie your shirt over the end of it to make a basket. In shallow water, hold the stick low and when a fish swims over it, scoop it out. If there’s no spiny scales on the fish, you can eat it raw. In the mood for some bird? Find some rocks and pelt them when nearby.
  • Fire. You’ll want a fire going at all times as it will be an excellent signal. Grab a flat piece of wood, a stick, and some grass. Place the grass on the flat piece of wood, then spin the stick between your palms to generate enough heat to ignite the grass. Once going, gather additional fuel for the fire and keep it fed and burning. You can even use it to cook your fish and birds.
  • Lookout. Keep a steady lookout in all directions to identify any passing ships. More than likely if you see one that will be a shipping land that more boats will follow. Make sure you can signal in that direction to get their attention.

At some point, help will come and whisk you back to civilization and then a movie deal which will make you rich and famous. Congrats!

Click here to get to commenting

Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!

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Mr. Ayo
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WCS
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Glad to see that bullshit “late hit out of bounds even though the quarterback is technically still in bounds” penalty has trickled down to the college level.

SonOfSpam

Evening everybody. Hope everyone bet on the Irish. (checks for potato famine, sees there is none) Yeah, that’s the right bet.

litre_cola

I threw 30 CAD, so 5 USD on chalk today. Paid 70 CAD so a bottle of listerine and a percocet.

Gumbygirl

Are you having a stroke? Go look in the mirror, is your face lopsided?

litre_cola

I talk with a funny accent. Does that count?

Redshirt

Welp, looks like the Irish has won the Battle for Indiana.

SonOfSpam

why on god’s green earth would anyone battle for indiana?

Doktor Zymm

to leave?

Brick Meathook
scotchnaut

Germ Skinny-Cock.

Brick Meathook
King Hippo

keep chasing that dragon, imaginary frienderino!

Gumbygirl

Is Pincay Drive named after the jockey? I guess that makes sense, that’s where Hollywood Park was. Or it’s just an amazing coinkydink

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Because Dok mentioned colonics on the other thread….

https://youtu.be/MLhW9ifc1Gc?si=wRbjk3yMfBhenWGG

BrettFavresColonoscopy

(does this count as sexy?)

ballsofsteelandfury

Yes

Horatio Cornblower

The fact that someone like Ryan Seacrest is a multi-millionaire celebrity and isn’t living under a bridge and sucking cock to fund a massive heroin habit is a real sign of Western Civilization’s decline.

Doktor Zymm

Well, to be fair we don’t actually know that he isn’t sucking cock to fund a massive heroin habit

ballsofsteelandfury

THIS

King Hippo

Speaking of, somebody needs to ask Elon and his VP Trumples who gets to be the MAN if u noe wut I mean

Brick Meathook

It might be a nice bridge.

Brick Meathook

Down by the In-and-Out, next to LAX:

https://vimeo.com/693405435

WCS

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Horatio Cornblower
Last edited 46 minutes ago by Horatio Cornblower
Horatio Cornblower

(just click it; none of them seem to post here)

ArmedandHammered

How about the name Scissor Lift Bris for a punk bad?

scotchnaut

Cherry Buzz-Cock.

Horatio Cornblower

No way Scissor Lift anything gets to play Notre Dame.

Senor Weaselo

Our fake music office punk band is Workplace Violence

Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

The ginger has to be AI.

Anyway,
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Brocky

I can not wait to see how iu screws this up

King Hippo

You made me check the score, and the score displeased me. BAD BROCKY!!

scotchnaut

I want to cheer for underdog Indiana but I’m reading Fever In The Heartland which is about the rebirth of the Klan in the 1920’s that was centered in that state.

King Hippo

I have seen a documentary about the 1920s Indiana state government footy with the Klan. Should I order this here booky-book?

scotchnaut

I think so. Lots of info that is not generally known backed up by original sources.

King Hippo

I need several books handy for this weirdo Xmas/NY period.

King Hippo

YAY, my library has it even tho we is in Teh SOUTH!

scotchnaut

Our postal strike is finally over-wifey will be upset at the dollar value of books that I’ve ordered.

True Story- the very last book in my queue is a WW1 history tome that I won by having the highest mark in my History class in high school.

litre_cola

I am still employed. There is a lot of fat to trim and my director said “Fuck you, we will need you and your team more thane ever, we will fucking fire the stamp guys.”

Very funny with his accent as he is Quebecois and got asked the same question by my peer in Ontario and in Atlantic.

Doktor Zymm

You’ve read Christopher Moore right?

King Hippo

No! Where should I start??

Horatio Cornblower

His best book is Lamb, about Christ’s missing years and his adventures with his best pal, Biff. I cannot emphasize enough how good that one is. Second best, for me, is Sacre Bleu, about demons, French impressionists, and the coloUr blue.

Then there’s ‘The Stupidest Angel’ first one I read by him, a trilogy about vampires in San Francisco, a duo about soul-eaters in San Francisco, a couple of books about King Lear’s fool, and one called The Island of the Sequined Love Nun. Oh, and a couple of noir novels.

All very funny and with a healthy amount of sex in most of them.

But ‘Lamb’ is outstanding.

Gumbygirl

Oh, you are in for a treat! Many treats! They’re all good

Doktor Zymm

I’m a fan of all his stuff, but I have a soft spot for Fluke

Horatio Cornblower

That’s one I haven’t stumbled across yet.

I own 13 of the others.

Doktor Zymm
ballsofsteelandfury

Y’all just made me buy Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove.

scotchnaut

Knowing him as I do, I think he’s fully immersed in the works of Christopher Moore-Left.

Horatio Cornblower

I’ve read that one. It’s very good, albeit grim.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah but Notre Dame is in Indiana too.

scotchnaut

I mean, I was talking about the university that hasn’t had any real success in football for quite some time.

/wait a sec…

Gumbygirl

They’re both in Indiana. Someone is going to win, I’d rather it be the Fighting Brocky’s. At least this week!

Senor Weaselo

At what point do I get to complain to my singer friend that I hadn’t seen in six years until last week to play a party about her Master’s alma mater?

/Under ZERO circumstances did I mention to contractor Senorita Weaselo that I had asked said singer out seven years ago, though obv nothing came of it and that was not the reason why I recommended her, because do you fucking want me to die?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wait, what is the complaint about? And who are you voicing it to?

Senor Weaselo

Complaining about the JV footy

King Hippo

I know from my kid that IU has a good music program but I am still piecing together the rest.

King Hippo

I had to read this a few times, but I think you are hinting at a three-way?

ballsofsteelandfury

#10 all day every day and twice on Sunday

scotchnaut

/Inspired by my joke below-

Best Punk Stripper Names:

Nancy Ripped-Jeans

Heroine Tracks

Eyeblack Hardcot

Clash Strummer

Cramp Misfit

Slit Heartbreaker

Have at it.

King Hippo

#2 wins obvs

Senor Weaselo

Deedee Ramone

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Steph Ylococcus

ArmedandHammered

Ruined Star

ArmedandHammered

Or Violated Starfish. Is this a freaky Friday thing where Balls and I have exchanged fetishes.

ballsofsteelandfury

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WCS

Bob Johnson!

Oh, wait….

Gumbygirl

My second ever boyfriend’s name was Bob Johnson. He was very cute, but deeply weird.

litre_cola

There is a bob on a johnson joke somewhere here.

Gumbygirl

Not in 7th grade there wasn’t! There was kissyface huggybear and that was it!

Horatio Cornblower

‘Kathleen Hanna’

Oh, wait…

Doktor Zymm

If you have anything shiny you can use it to signal passing planes and boats. However, if you are trying to keep your lair hidden avoid lair bling

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

But don’t avoid Blair Ling, she’s a total fox.

Senor Weaselo

But do avoid Blair Witch.

And also avoid Blair Witch.

litre_cola

Has anyone ever said that The Blair Witch Project is great?

ArmedandHammered

The guys cashing the checks.

ballsofsteelandfury

But don’t avoid Blair Williams

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Last edited 1 hour ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Gumbygirl

Yeah, but is she smrt? Would you say she’s a cunning Ling?

Brick Meathook

Here’s the view from my fighter jet, departure from LAX over the ocean and then looping back over the city on my way to test pilot work in Arizona:

https://vimeo.com/800427502?share=copy

Horatio Cornblower

I want to take #1 out to dinner.

Mostly just to make sure she eats something.

ArmedandHammered

I know right? I was wondering if she was just rescued from a deserted island..

Horatio Cornblower

Or Matt Gaetz’s pool house.

Horatio Cornblower

I’M A HOOSIERS FAN!!

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King Hippo

Teevee off, playoffs ruined. FUCK EVERYTHING.

Redshirt

🎶 With an interception here and an interception there.,. 🎶

King Hippo

goddamnit, stupid Hoser quartered back.

Redshirt

.

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Brocky

Well, the iu football season was fun while it lasted

ThePirateSloth

#4 She’s a real world Lace Harding!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Here’s to hoping that today we celebrate Notrefreudendame.

King Hippo

and YES, Brocky – Hippo is wearing his IU sweatshirt. Ah has DUN MAH PART.

Brocky

I’m wearing my iu socks.

As in, they were socks I bought while at IU

King Hippo

Offer more cigars and rum to your Robert Montgomery Knight Jobu figure!

King Hippo

I am pretty sure that if I had a soul, I’d sell it for this week’s #1. Also #4, mind.

Can somebody check to see if they have REALLY low standards and Daddy issues?

Brick Meathook

Palos Verdes, California

I shot this right after I put a twin-turbo Rolls Royce Merlin V-16 engine in my Ford Explorer.

https://vimeo.com/1041266629?share=copy#t=0

WCS

As an Irish Catholic, let me be the first to state:

Fuck Notre Dame with a very used, rusty, and filth-encrusted syringe from a local shooting gallery outside South Bend.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I thought rusty coathangers were more Notre Dame’s thing.

scotchnaut

Rusty Coathanger would be the perfect name for a punk stripper.

ArmedandHammered

Or the name of an alcoholic penny royal drink. Pre-scraped before you rape. I am so going to hell, oh wait, I’m an atheist, so no.

Unsurprised

Gape the fucks with a scissor lift

Gumbygirl

As someone who is also of the pale potato persuasion, I concur.