By the time this posts I should be off to the SIL’s where thar be the usual turkey and ham and beans and all the other fixin’s. There’s also a gift exchange and a game night. (hope it’s trivia-I do goodly at that) I needn’t remind anyone that if you’re out and about, limit the drinkies to one or zero. Up here in the boonies you can count on roadside checks everywhere all evening. The one that surprised me the most was the 6am one on January 1st that I ran into a few years ago. Them coppers are smart.
To The Game!
Ravens/Texans:
-Does Houston even have a signature win as they head towards the postseason? They beat the Bills by a field goal but that was way back in week 5. Their last few W’s have been vs the dregs that are the Colts, Jags, Cowboys and Fins. Hardly a Killer’s Row there. During that time they’ve also lost to the Jets and Fins.
-If you’ll recall last year, due to a phenomenal draft they closed the talent gap with pretty much every team in the league but Baltimore was not one of them. The latter is a gaudy 12-2 vs the Texans.
-Houston grabbed Diontae Johnson to pick up the slack now that Dell and Metchie aren’t available. They also picked up a ton of shitty attitude in the bargain. From here on in I think he’s just a training camp body unless he starts seeing himself differently. How much has this cost him? Perhaps 40 million? Perhaps. Yikes!
-This is what good teams do: Remember when (weeks 1-9) when you could pass on the Ravens all game long? Their EPA per dropback was 28th in the league during that span. Since then they’ve attacked the problem and have been the very best regarding that same metric. That’s apples-to-apples dramatic improvement.
Have fun digesting!
Aw
My spirit guide.
Just landed in Chicago, drank quite a bit of airplane wine as my seat mate was drinking the same as I and between the two of us refills were aplenty!
It’s only 4:30p here. I’m not sure how I’m going to get through this day.
https://youtu.be/j_6aJKHdTYk?si=FzCkkmUa1Ol4EvQs
I have operated under the assumption you were ginning up a “Hank Scorpio”-ish operation on the big island. Don’t worry, won’t blow your cover.
He’s welcome to borrow one of my smaller subs
Me trying to make room for dessert.
https://giphy.com/gifs/wwe-wrestling-l3mZ6dTY9MpszWdI4
Homemade apple pie, here (kid brought back from family gathering). I powered through.
was a tru hero and ate the 2nd piece of key lime pie for those that could not.
We had some cake that we bought in Chinatown yesterday. It was a bit of a letdown. But our dinner in Koreatown was nice.
Now all that’s left is to kick back and hang out in Snuggletown with the pets.
There is a seperate stomach for cake and ice cream
Chiefs/Steelers: Stocking Stuffer
Ravens/Titans: Great Present (that you already have one of)
Seahawks/Bears: Fruitcake that has been passed around for 15 years
Beaty got me 4 fucking points. At least I kept the Sreelers D on the bench. They were in negative numbers. You are going to kick my ass, Boo, and I can’t even be mad at it. I’m just grateful I don’t have blood coming out of my dick too, the way things have been going!
Holy shit, you had me cackling. Thanks.
Still plenty of time for my guys to shit the bed.
Mitch Trubisky’s favorite Christmas song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywkwpoJYx3Q
BeerBrother just sent me a link to the Snoqualmie Pass cam. It looks like he’s stuck at his in-laws for a few days.
https://wsdot.com/travel/real-time/mountainpasses/snoqualmie
“I have to transfer you to state police; stay on the line, do NOT hang up.”
My crazy draft idea is that Balmer should use their 2nd on Jalen Milroe. He’d be the perfect Lamar! understudy/backup. Can run the same offense to a t.
Here’s Professor Brainard’s Flying Murder Car, with bonus footage at the end.
Press the link above the title, make sure audio is not muted, and don’t fuck it up
https://www.facebook.com/cris.shapan/videos/10214824403099171
https://ibb.co/5nNT2Jp
(Cris Shapan)
You’re gonna need bigger guns for that boat. Or torpedoes.
Lamar’s off to poop.
You could tell by the joyful skip. A man’s gotta have his simple pleasures.
Lamar!’s poopin’ again!
He probably had some Texas BBQ
earned it, too!
I mean, hard to run effectively when you’ve got a food baby in there
The worst part? 31-2 isn’t even a scorigami.
38-2? Or would we need the backup to get us all the way to 45-2?
38-2 and 44-2, but not 45-2.
I am glad I don’t have an MVP vote this year, and I’m as opinionated an asshole as there is.
I would go Saquon or Henry because runningback revival, or Josh Allen over Lamar! just because they both deserve one and he hasn’t gotten one yet
All 4 are very, very deserving. Could even make a case for Baby Buster.
1. Elway
2. Elway
3. Elway
4. Battleship Manning
5. Jim Valvano
You submit the same ballot every year.
I have had drunken fights that bordered on fisticuffs, for each of “Elway v. Marino” and “Elway v. Montana.”
Lord Palmerston!
PITT. THE. ELDER.
LORD PALMERSTON!!!
PITT. THE. ELDER.
Excellent work, the both of you. Hit the showers and grab some beers.
NFL is going to give it to Mahomes because “Merica
This in-flight banana pudding has ‘interestified soybean oil’ in it, which can only assume is MUCH more interesting than regular soybean oil
Is that just below extreme soybean oil?
Nuclear soybean oil. Now with 10% more Zoomies!
You may get a hankering for vegan flesh, so try to scope out the least-patchouli’d hippie on the plane.
Save the salt.
Meanest challenge ever?
This almost has to end in a scoragami right?
Need 38-2.
500s getting that safety seems to have pissed Lamar! off.
/also to the wayback machine – I was one of many honkies who doubted he would translate at the NFL level. Oopsie. The fuck. Doodle.
So this is your fault?
quite possibly!
The 500s have 3 yards this quarter. Houston took more dick than that measurement in her feature film.
I guess I’m not going to bother watching, since I just saw the score.
I’ll watch standup instead and eat my Thai.
I napped but I feel bad I didn’t drive around even though it’s raining and shitty.
The 500s are nawt very good.
the foreshaowing in the pregame about the offensing unit fighting one another? Seems apt
Eh. So-so
To be fair, the Ravens ARE very good.
easily the best they’ve been offensively. Kinda scary.
All y’all that recommended Christopher Moore, THANK YOU!
I just finished The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove and it was so good I’m going to get the rest of his books.
I’m amazed we had a contingent that was unaware of his books and delighted that we could spread the word!
I swear to Sweet Baby WASP Jesus, I’d never heard of him at all. Dunno how, but I ain’t.
The first time I read A Dirty Job, there was a scene where I had to put the book down to laugh hysterically.
Just wait until you read Lamb.
I did read that one.
Very entertaining.
(We’re talking about trips out on the Island)
Madre: And I had that flight of whites.
Hermana: (taking the piss) What, are you anti-woke? White flights? What are you, some kinda racist?
Madre: The reds don’t sit well with me. [She gets sick from red wines.]
Hermana: Yeah, like a racist!
Me: Yeah, look at Andrew Jackson over here!
Aaaand I broke Hermana Weaselo.
anytime you get an opening for an Andy Jackson reference, you simply MUST take it. You can always find another sister!
This halftime is longer than the game.
It ain’t over til the fat lady sings
methinks the kids say thicccccc nowadays
Merry Christmas to my favorite people (as a group) (includes relatives).
Hope y’all get everything you want.
I got a mug that says;
“Bitch, I’m from Winnipeg. ”
It’s just perfect.
I got an :I AM the Danger” mug from the kid visiting from ABQ
One of my customers made a batch of homemade fudge for me.
That’s fudge alright.
Good thing I’ve got a top shelf California pinot noir to cut the sweetness.
Gods that is sweet.
The granddaughters can have the rest on Saturday. Lovely thought though.
A pinot might be ok, but you know what really cuts the sweetness of sweet confections (such as the chocolate covered caramels gifted to me)?
Whiskey.
Yep, the sweetness from the fudge will absolutely mute a light Pinot Noir.
This one punches a little above pinot noir class.
Lovely.
I made velveeta fudge one year. It was… different. Actually it showed the sour cream would be good in fudge.
I’m speechless.
But intrigued.
You get a cream cheese-ish flavor, but then that fake velveeta flavor kicks in.
There are more things in this world than we can possibly imagine, how can anyone get bored in a universe where such a thing exists?
Did you watch it get packed?
At halftime the Houston coach should tell his team to score more points, ideally more points than the Ravens. If they can do this, they stand a very good chance of winning this football game. Back to you, Jim.
What if you’re a huge Beyonce fan, have never seen her live, but play on the Ravens/Texans? Halftime is gonna suck for you.
So,… Happy Gilmore 2 is going to suck, right?
All that talk about safety below could apply equally well to your assumption here.
Harder than Lindsey Graham at an Eagle Scouts banquet.
Don’t click on the picture, click on the link above the picture:
https://www.facebook.com/reel/510406208687165
https://ibb.co/n63wx4b
Also check that that audio is not muted.
DEJA VU, I’VE JUST BEEN IN THIS PLACE BEFORE
Those are some cool cats
Russian Toonces doesn’t fuck around
Even Lowratio’s family made it for Christmas this year.
SAFETY DANCE!!!
Carry out Chinese, because the missus is prepping for her colonoscopy tomorrow.
Be there with a fresh roll of toilet paper and a book as needed.
No, baby wipes and a stack of magazines. Move a TV into the bathroom if you can.
Good for her for getting a colonoscopy.
She’s moved to the bedroom with the master bathroom and a book.
How’s your urethra doing?
TPTB found an opening for me, and I get that TURP on Friday. Might be outpatient, might necessitate a night’s stay.
He’s gonna be sent right back to the practice squad
I would like to posit that the hot turkey sandwich on the day after is superior than the turkey dinner eaten beforehand.
Which is also a sandwich of course
I think that we need to talk about the parametres of open faced sandwiches.
Yes.
No lie told.
When I was at Knotts on Monday they made a dish I’m totally gonna steal.
It was leftover turkey and dressing rolled into a large ball, dredged then dipped in panko and fried.
Served on top of mashed potatoes with a big spoon of Gravy on top.
It was fucking delicious.
Perfect use of leftovers.
It appears Baltimore has started the Not Fucking Around crew today.
Hangover gone, it is mimosa time!!
Is it a hangover if you’re just picking up where you left off?
Happy Chanukah to a smaller percentage of you than believed by Americans surveyed!
Hey, just because I’m not Jewish doesn’t mean I want to have a crappy Chanukah!
I saw that.
Wait…we think there are a lot of you?
But there aren’t THAT many banks.
“Exactly!”
– Nathan Meyer Rothschild
I’m half-Jewish on my father’s side (so I don’t officially count) but I love hangin’ with The Tribe.
Only when I’m on the clock.
I’m out and about, but in various vehicles controlled by other people, so I can drinky away!
TWBS is glued to the TV in heaven.
My cousin does not know about Te’o. The rabbit hole he’s currently heading down is gonna blow his mind.
Apparently there’s a Netflix documentary about the whole thing.
Poor kid has his sitcom plot social awkwardness aired for the whole country
What we’re watching right now instead of sportsball:
“Insider Trading Christmas”
That’s what Kevin’s dad did in Home Alone
Insider? Trading? Rex Ryan barely knows her, but sure, he’s always up for a good ol’ swap!
2 credit-worthy Netflix items:
1) Picture quality and reliability has been impeccable.
2) Easily the best analysis panel I’ve seen all season (and for several seasons) – smart to let Adams and Kimes drive the train.
https://www.facebook.com/reel/510406208687165
And a Wookie in a pine tree!
That could be almost any of the DFO crew
It’s actually what all of us in the Pacific Northwest look like.
I love that Pickens interrupted the end of game interview.
Oh, good grief, what are these goobers wearing?
That was truly the ending that game deserved.
yeah, Stillers at 500s will 100% be the “4:30p on Saturday” game of the WC round
Not if the Seahawks get their fir-
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I almost made it through that sentence.
yeah, having to rely on Xbox, Jr. and the Qards – on the road – ain’t very hope-inspiring.