Was this my pick for most low-key entertaining game of the weekend? Why would I bring it up if it wasn’t? Why am I typing this at all? (side-eyes the word counter)
To The Game!
Commies/Bucs:
-Fireworks Alert: Right here we’ve got two top five scoring offenses (Tampa 4th, Washington 5th) vs two below-averages defenses. Veags has set the point total (highest of the weekend) at 50.5. Tampa’s record vs the over this season is 12-5.
-Rookie to Keep an Eye On: Not that one, this one-wr Jalen McMillan scored at least one TD the last five games of the season to finish with seven total in those tilts.
-The big concern when previous OC Dave Canales left for the Carolina job (oh woe is him) was that the progress made with Mayfield would backslide. Well, take your hat off to Liam Cohen, who stepped in and has done such a good job that his name is being floating around in the coaching cycle.
-Baker has a total of 16 INT’s so far (to go along with 41 TD’s) but only three in his last four games.
-Up and Down: Washington has on its CV a midseason four game losing streak as well as a five game win streak to close out the year.
-As a coach Dan Quinn sports a fantastic 18-19 record as an underdog-that’s not against the spread, that’s winning outright.
-Tampa has averaged just under 32 points since the bye and they’re 6-1 during that time.
-Tampa’s win record includes victories over Detroit, the Commies, the Chargers and the Eagles. They’ve also had close losses to the Chiefs and Ravens.
-Bucky Irving Alert: Of all the teams in the playoffs Washington has the worst run defense, coming in at 30th. Tampa’s entire backfield has averaged over five yards a carry to close out the season.
-Let’s see how the Commies backfield is holding up. Oh my. Over their last four games they’re averaging 2,2 ypc. Ouch.
Have at it.
OH BOY IT’S A TIE GAME
send that dude back to the saints
Youngest dog doesn’t have much use for me. (she gravitates towards both sons and wifey) But when I’m making a sandwich she starts humming this tune.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9NY7RJVxpk&ab_channel=LloydCole-Topic
If I am being honest, all 3 cats prefer me. Then again, I am also the last human left in the house. It’s all about defining the universe of choices, see…
I got to introduce ThePirateSloth to bacon and all-dressed chips.
Mikey likes them!
fucking hell, clock management is a lost fucking art in these 2 minute drills
especially in the final minute
fucking dumbasses, spike the ball, or call one of your MULTIPLE timeouts
“That’s fantastic clock management.” – Matt Eberflus
And here I was about to compliment the Redacteds defense.
They’re way better than expected, buuuuut still nawt good
I am far from good looking, it’s a mystery that Mrs. Fozz ever agreed to marry me.
But damn, there are some ugly actors being used in commercials these days.
Why don’t they let the players have snoopy bandaids?
The Peanuts estate couldn’t afford the marketing fee.
I keep meaning to check out the Charles Schultz museum in Santa Rosa
It’s enjoyable.
You totally should. It’s fun! Then, I suggest the Russian River brewing company afterwards. They do good work.
There are quite a few decent breweries in Santa Rosa, and a really good bakery. Haven’t actually hit up Russian River yet, not quite sure why
They do one of the quintessential west coast ipa’s (Pliney), but also a bunch of Belgique, barrel aged ales, too. (some of the ones aged in wine barrels are interesting). I liked the sampler boards, where you can get wee tasters of all of them at the brewpub.
Trade marking.
Does the nfl have a Disney deal?
ESPN is part of Disney, and they have MNF. Maybe they can get Little Mermaid bandaids on Mondays.
team with the stink of dan snyder still on it vs team that the falcons swept
Did y’all miss me during the afternoon game?
Good, because I’m not sticking around for this one either.
THIS GUY BRETTFAVRESCOLONOSCOPY I CALL HIM ASHLEE BABBIT CLIMBING THROUGH A BROKEN WINDOW BECAUSE HE THINKS HE’LL BE MISSED BUT HE WON’T.
Banner this.
BFC used to act in Japanese porno movies. He always played the landlord who told the young Japanese college kids to “Keep that racket down!” (That was his signature line through all 147 films of the “Samurai Assfuckers” franchise.
BFC is pictured here with his agent Rick Hookseat
Look Pete, if your aunt looks like Marisa Tomei get used to it and learn how to fight.
Or just get bitten by a radioactive spider. That’ll work, too.
Like he wouldn’t have said that in English to Pete IRL
For the record, all that Piratey stuff they just did was highly offensive.
Arrr!
Yarr matey!
Guybrush Threepwood agrees!
My culture is not your costume
Every morning Mike Tirico slams his nuts in between the toilet seat and the toilet.
This allows him to say, “Well, working with Cris sucks, but not as bad as slamming your balls between the toilet seat and the toilet.”
He had his testicles tightened up just like his neighbor and good friend Gary Busey, so he wouldn’t painfully sit on his nuts like their other good friend Nick Nolte.
Was it Busey or Nolte who hit a curb headfirst after a motorcycle crash when they weren’t wearing a helmet?
I want to say Busey, but they’re both solid candidates.
Busey. He’s still brain damaged.
Don’t “lose your footing” into someone’s ACL. Bastard.
Kind of rough to get called for a personal foul when the O-lineman gave you a two-handed shove in the back.
Anyone else having RGIII flashbacks?
Shut your whore mouth!
Tua, maybe.
MUCH BETTER!!
Dammit, stop calling plays to get Jayden killed!
.
That is not how you run the option, sir.
If the Commies are trying to tucker out Vita Vea, they’re doing a great job so far.
Is Dan Quinn trying to be the angry gym teacher?
He’s got the hair for it!
They’ve been decent at picking up 4ths though they don’t go for it at LioUns levels
Oh, that hit is going to leave a (several) mark(s) on Daniels.
I thought he truck-kuned Daniels into another dimension.
I know that isekai, I Woke Up and Won a Super Bowl!
Glad he got up, don’t need to to keep happening
THIS GUY MIKE EVANS I CALL HIM IVY MIKE BECAUSE HE IS STRIKING FEAR INTO THE HEARTS OF THE COMMIES.
/I know this joke is not immediately relevant but I’m pretty drunk so I need to use it or lose it.
The second Friday in January is known as “National Quitters Day,” a day when many people give up on their New Year’s resolutions.”
Hey, for once I didn’t procrastinate & was ahead of schedule.
I got you beat; I didn’t even start!
Late April or early May is the best time to start making serious life changes if we’re going to start picking arbitrary dates to begin.
Someone who is not me should be keeping a counter of how many times Tirico/Collinsworth use the phrase “on the back end” during this game.
Update: brisket was delicious. The accompanying beer was equally delightful.
Commies might want to pay attention to this Evans fellow.
Kick early, go for it late. All the experts who proclaim to go for it are coincidently not active coaches in any of the professional or amateur ranks.
Replied to wrong comment.
So glad Dallas keeps trading 4th round picks for guys that can’t get on the field so that they don’t draft some useless pile of crap like Bucky Irving.
coaches stop doing this, take the points, especially in january
4th and 2 and they run that????
Did they really ‘run’ it, though?
What a coinkydink, I, too, am lauded for my maturity and leadership! [Narrator, As if, bitch]
/voiceovarian:
“they could, in fact, hide”
Holy shit! What a catch!
McLaughlin!
JAK JAK JAK GERMANDOoooooooooo
Man were those sketches funny
“Uncle Fester!”
PATTY PATTY BUCH BUCH!
Fun fact. I had a college roommate who later worked as his personal assistant.
Neither remembered, but I do, that he yelled that out at the bulldog when we saw him walking by as freshmen.
as soon as I saw this, the phrase “Elanor, I think you’re swellinor” tumbled out of my subconscious…
Oh Cris, how I hate thee to thy very marrow. I want to shove a live toad into your skull.
but still better than Brady, damning with faint fucking praise.
That’s still too good for him
“Oh, that’s good!” – the Marquis de Sade
I suggest one in each head hole.
start with the mildly poisonous little ones and then once all holes are filled, repeat with increasingly larger species until you get to Goliath toads.
This seems very unfair to the toads.
Mike Evans: still good.
Thanks for the GAMBLOR advice! I bailed out at $249.
My pleasure
Nice hit! Go buy yourself some bubblegum vape poppers or whatever the kids are into nowadays!
That’s exactly why I decided when I saw it was giving me an option and it was jumping up quickly. It went to the point of “Just a $25 bet on six games” to “Do I really want to bet $250 on Tampa Bay and Minnesota with small betting lines?”
If it would’ve stayed around $100, I would’ve let it ride and see what happens.
Yeah, that’s the right way to think about it, I think your last two were the hardest to be confident about
Smart man.
Now go put it all in crypto.
I hear good things about the Hawk Tuah coin.
.
Holy shit, this is amazing.
Its better when you’ve seen the episode so you can read it in Paul Winfield’s deep, commanding voice.
That’s hilarious.
“Rugpull. When the memecoin fell”
Go Commies. This one’s to rub in Snyder’s stupid fucking face.
(Until Detroit purged them like the Spanish civil war)
Fun fact: I called my last night Cheap Trick and still scored.
There was supposed to be a “date” in there, but alas such is my life.
Oh no Robyn, you’re kinda all over the place.
Surrender.
Mrs. Cola demands more saxamaphone
(Wipes away tear with pride)
She is correct in her demands
On it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaoLU6zKaws
One of the all-time internet classics.
SILENTLY REFLECT ON ME YOU TAMPA BASTARDS
In all seriousness, I would open my home to help the people who lost everything in the fires.
No more than 1 or 2.
Submit modeling glamor shots for consideration.
Seriously, I would give up a couch and a place to shower and I would even cook.
This shit has been fucking awful.
What about those of us who haven’t lost anything, but just wanna hang?
Aw Prarie Shit!
Everybody!
/hopes he doesn’t realize I’m part Irish
I’m 2/3 Irish. What could go wrong?
Both of us will be drunk and probably fighting?
I’ll bring potatoes.
Oh there’s a surprise.
For food or vodka?
See ya in September!
Offer will apply!
They won’t do it, but I really wish Tampa would come out in the Creamsicles.
DO IT FOR LEROY!!!
I’m so, so sorry but Kiss is weighing in on those unis.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gcj34XixuYg&ab_channel=KissVEVO
Christ on a cracker, put the fucking makeup on! My eyes!!! It’s weed o’clock bitches, be right back
Kiss is free to tell that to Leroy Selmon, (OK, maybe his brother, Dewey), and see what happens.
other than their run in 79, that uni, tho it does look great, represents incredibly terrible football
Absolutely, but it had nothing to do with the unis.
I have been looking forward to this one! That fucking abortion yesterday, howeva…
Abortion?
This game could easily go either way and is for sure the best matchup for the Commies as a wild card. I have no expectations of a playoff run, but I’m kinda stupidly hopeful for at least this game.
SUCK ROTTEN SEAHORSE EGGS SNYDER!!
With him gone, swear to fuck I have neutral, perhaps even mildly positive intentions when watching y’all.
Really, feel that way about all today’s participants (except my Donks, who I knew had no chance going in).
Yup, now that they have an owner that isn’t completely odious (that we know of yet, at least) and they shitcanned the blatantly racist team name, they are fine with me…
However, I gotta pull for lil Baker. Feel like the Browns totally fucked him over, and the better he does, the more idiotic they look.
Yeah, I agree that the Browns fucked him over, but he got to stop being on the Browns so he’s already gotten some compensation and I’m not sure it’s actually possible for them to look more idiotic
They totally need to start another round of the Progressive “At Home With..” commercials, though. Those were fun.
Progressive is based in Cleveland, so that’s probably not gonna happen.
Although if Progressive did it in a way that made fun of the Browns it would be awesome.
Yup, the Progressive connection to the Land o’ Cleave probably means it wouldn’t happen. That, and I hear the subject of home insurance in Florida can be rather fraught.
That makes sense. You don’t want the employees of an insurance company to understand the concept of “hope”
[Stirs from alcoholic stupor] INSURMOUNTABLE!
Saving the traditional Bandana Run Through the Clubhouse for a later round victory, Rev?
.
“As opposed to that saucy lil leather English roll arm in the corner.”
-JD Vance
Brisket!
Brisket!!
Brisket!!!
Avec biere!
.
Sweet mother of CHRIST that looks perfect….
24 hour sous vide & two hours in the Bradley.
That char looks fantastic.
The Trader Joe’s coffee rub helped.
I trimmed the fat down after the sous vide. It kept it from being too greasy.
Bravo.
Looks incredible and I’ve already had dinner.
Time for 2nd dinner?
It’s 5:30. Did you hit the buffet at the Golden Corral, Pops?
That bark looks just perfect!
If I leave now, I can be there by 1 AM, assuming Air Canada isn’t late. Haha
Can someone pick me up from the airport?
Beerguy does airport pickups.
Straight to the pub crawl & then your hotel!