Clash of the Titans-Your Ravens/Bills Thread

Apparently it’s going to be a chilly one today in Buffalo-she’s supposed to be around -12 Celsius. For you Los Angelenos, that’s around the temperature that your lavender and roasted pistachio gelato served up by Epiphany (“such a nice smile!”) should be at.

To The Game!

Ravens/Bills:

This is the game that Henry was brought in for. If the field ends up being slippery he’ll be even more difficult to tackle. Of the eight playoff games he’s played, he’s run for 150+ yards in half of them.

-The Bills are very fortunate in that three defensive starters that weren’t available when they last played Baltimore will be on the field today. Cornerback Johnson but much more importantly, linebackers Matt Milano (the signal-caller) and Terrel Bernard should solidify the defense.

-The Ravens have played 10 playoff teams and their record is 7-3 in those games. They surrendered an average of 18.5 points against them. The Bills played only 5 playoff teams and their record was 2-3. More worryingly, they gave up 33(!) points on average.

-That said, Buffalo is now 9-0 at home this year.

-The Ravens are the first offense to pass for 4,000 yards and run for 3,000 in the same season.

-Henry is a load of course but don’t overlook James Cook-of his 16 total TD’s, 13 of them have come after week five.

-Can Baltimore feel good if this tilt comes down to a last-second field goal? Though Jason Tucker finished at 73.3% for the year, that is a career-low for him.

Strength vs Strength: Allen is now the QB with the most rushing yards in the playoffs. The Ravens allowed the fifth-least rush yards to quarterbacks this year.

Have at it.

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Brick Meathook

Brick’s New Years Resolutions:

  • Write a post with Balls
  • Photograph a Sunday Gravy post (with DJ TAJ)
  • Lose weight blah blah blah
ballsofsteelandfury

Fuck the weight loss. We’re writing a post, baby!

yeah right

One of my favorite Sunday Gravy banner images.

Feels appropriate.

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Unsurprised

Go on

yeah right

I am absolutely planning on it.

yeah right

That was a mighty fine weekend of the football activities.

Think it’s Buffalo’s year.

Fronkenshteen

Those game were pretty goddamn good. Usually this is the weekend filled with blowouts. I still can’t believe what Washington went and did. I know for sure now that, emotionally speaking, I feel nothing whatsoever for the Commanders. I’ve been here a long time, and they’ve been dogshit most of that time. They might have gotten a Golden Ticket with this Daniels kid, and this time they’re not going to put him on shower-floor sod, the likes of which killed RGIII’s RGknee.

To be honest though, the Commanders’ post-Snyder success would be a hell of a lot more enjoyable if I believed for a fucking second that malignant little pus-bag could possibly acknowledge that the current team’s transition to a culture of respect, winning, positivity and success, and it’s transition from the culture of his ownership are not coincidental but have a direct cause-and-effect relationship.

Here’s The Band from a place called the Mosque in Yinzertown 1970. There’s four songs. Sorry to the moderator if the video is too long (18:00). These guys have a way of making everything they’re doing look really easy, but god damn. Look at these guys go. No one’s doing shit like this now, are they?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFgyD3Uk1JQ

Brick Meathook

+1 for The Band video

Gumbygirl

That was the Syria Mosque. It was beautiful, and had great acoustics. I saw Jesse Colin Young there. They tore it down, disgraceful!

jjfozz

If you try an smash a liter bottle of bourone abaingst you rhead, it will uhurt, but when it doesn’t break, it hrst even more

jjfozz

Tonight’s experiement: hw many things can yo hit with an empty liter bottle o bourbon before it breaks?

Tstay tune for detaileds!

jjfozz

I wis i did drugs, so i could od and die

jjfozz

My only hope is that someoen fucking paralyzes King Douchebag Kelce

Wakezilla

/voice over: The snow and cold did, in fact, bother Mark Andrews

https://x.com/Ravens/status/1881095073716465822

Horatio Cornblower

I was just about to post that. Man, that aged like leftover Chinese food.

Senor Weaselo

In fairness he did what the song said and let it go.

jjfozz

Oh wait, we have the ORIOLES to look forward to. No, we don’t plus fuck baseball n tehas ass with a batt cause it’s baseball, god i’m going to go breka my foot on kicking the house jesus for the love o fucking CHRIST

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

INSURMOUNTABLE!

Beerguyrob

Good night everyone. See you next Sunday.

jjfozz

I’d go burn down my city,but who whould notice? I’m getting drunker than i already am. no i have to root for those new york dickface fuckers? or fucking DC or Philly? I’m now going to follow cricket, whatever the fuck that is all about.

jjfozz

I want to kill. Goddamn fucking piece of goddamn shit. Why in FUCK DO I CARE?

jjfozz

Fuck the world.

That is all.

Go fuck me.

Fuck Harbaugh. Take the goddamn point. You dumb fucking Midwestern corn eating cock head

Beerguyrob

Get ready everyone.

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Don T

Bills feel team of destinish. God this weeds osom

Beerguyrob

Sounds like you’re ready to be Fozz’s alibi.

Horatio Cornblower

Buffalo player: “All glory and honor to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ…”

Jesus Christ: “It’s true. I’ve always hated Baltimore, something I think should have been obvious by now.”

ThePirateSloth

An idiot I know: “Hey, is Mark Andrews related to Erin Andrews? Husband? Brother? She might be single after he’s dead?!?!”
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blaxabbath

Baltimorians Welcoming Back Andrews.

1000016077
clint greasewood

Nobody Circles the Wagons like the Buffalo Bills

blaxabbath

Fly Eagles Fly!

Redshirt

Should we do a Welfare Check on Fozz or just wait for the breaking news on CNN?

ballsofsteelandfury

I think the Welfare Check should be on Baltimore Harbor bridges.

Beerguyrob

It’s called “plausible deniability”.

Mr. Ayo

He was here the whole time guys and gals.

BeefReeferLives

FOZZ’S BOURBLE SUPPLY, I CALL IT JANAY RICE, ‘CAUSE IT’S TAKING A BEATING!!!

Don T

White guy drop may cause in-law embolism

Downfield Matriculator

Only good thing about the Lions going down is that both championship games will be outside in the cold as God (and his voice here on this Earth, John Facenda) ordained

ballsofsteelandfury

On the bright side, we have some wonderful Fozz hate coming…

Gatoraids

Mark Andrews Rockbiter player of the year

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ThePirateSloth

NO DON’T YOU DARE MAKE ME THINK OF ARTAX

Beerguyrob

I have to admit – that was a helluva way to earn a trip to KC just to have the refs make you lose by four.

Unsurprised

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Redshirt

Henry, His Hands Empty, His Eyes Red!

Unsurprised

Seems apt.

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Wakezilla

Derrick Henry is on the Ravens. Derrick Henry was not given the ball at the end there. Ridiculous!

Anyway, go Chiefs!

ThePirateSloth

Romo certainly knows from EXPERIENCE what it’s like to blow a game because you couldn’t hold on to the ball.

Beerguyrob

Usual narrative: LAMAR CAN’T WIN THE BIG GAMES (when other guys drop balls)!

Downfield Matriculator

To be fair [insert Letterkenny .gif] two of those turnovers were solely his dipshitterty.

Last edited 2 days ago by Downfield Matriculator
Horatio Cornblower

I know Baltimore fans and players feel bad, but look at it this way: Jerry Jones does not own your team.

LemonJello

The coming COACH PRIME era should lift your spirits!

Horatio Cornblower

I, for one, welcome my new Tampa Bay overlords.

The Maestro

Mark Andrews has just been fired from the Dundalk McDonalds.

Horatio Cornblower

Dundalk McDonalds will have no further comment at this time.

Unsurprised

By his manager, Do—

/hooked off stage

LemonJello

Into Baltimore Harbor.