Oh dear Sweet Baby Jeebus, so many things in the (sweltering, unpleasantly musty) June air that I doooooonnnnn’t caaaaaarrrrre about:
- Infantino’s public display of self-fellatio (ie, the Club World Cup)
- Trump/Musk kayfabe lovers’ quarrel (after the first hour of mild amusement)
- fucking baseball (now that the #BFIB Prague Spring is over)
- 2025 Q-aron Yinzers (but do bet the house on 10+ losses and Mike Tomlin finally getting the sack)
- climate change (society broke from the mild stressor that was COVID, no fucking way can we tackle sommet that would require real sacrifices and real, cooperative effort)
- birthday-related shite
- NBA playoffs, or kvetching about ratings and lack of NY/BOS/LA yada yada
- fucking transfer rumoUrs
Congrats to Uzbeki-bekistan for making the 2026 World Cup, though. Hippo plans to boycott that completely, given the dumb format and the Trump/Infantino fascist cosplay exercises. Assuming Hippo, or any of us for that matter (convinced somebody launches their nukes within 5-10 years, but ain’t psychic or anything).
What are YOU not caring about these days? Do tell.
I made a perfect trifecta pick on the Belmont! Too bad I forgot to place a bet.
So tomorrow I’m going to drive down to the eastern suburbs of LA to return that shitty hammock stand. They don’t pay for return shipping and that thing is bulky and heavy so I figure it’s about the same cost or a little cheaper to drive to the warehouse plus I also get a roadtrip out of it
To the Hammock District!
Exactly how far East? Like Gumbygirl territory?
Azusa. I’m staying overnight in Covina then dropping off hammock stand on Monday
Oh, and there’s a West Covina location of Porto’s so I’m also gonna get a bunch of baked goods for the drive back
Covina > West Covina
Then I highly recommend that you go to Donut Man in Glendora. It’s right next door to Azusa and their donuts are famous for being good.
You might want to grab a box for the drive home too.
Sweet! (both literally and figuratively!)
OMG
Yeah
Oh, they’re 24 hour so I can stop there on my way in!
If you go late night, you’ll probably get the college crowd from the Claremont colleges. Assuming they’re still in session. Who knows anymore. All the schedules are weird now.
Unless things have changed, they would be well finished by now.
I am not caring about my liver today. She will get all the rye whisky Alberta can produce.
Nor will I care about my stomach. The fish and pork tacos I had sitting on my passenger seat for hours in the hot sun yesterday will not go to waste.
If I soil myself mowing the lawn tomorrow it will not be a mystery to me and will only confirm the neighbours’ misgivings.
THAT’S GOOD HUSTLE
(artist’s rendition)
We also would have accepted…
Here we are at the ballet.
Maybe hold off on being a grandparent as long as possible.
Enjoying all the meats of the cultural stew, are ya?
Torrance is incredibly diverse and the ballet troop shows it.
ALL THE MENDELSSOHN!
/It’s still Midsummer Night’s Dream, right? Arguably one of my favorite Shakespeare plays!
It was. The music was incredible.
#BFIB have held Los Doyers to 17 straight scoreless innings so far. And counting.
Tied now señor hippo.
fucking Helsley
Petards have been hoisted.
We don’t use that word anymore..oh Petards
the Devil Magick was strong enough to overcome Hippo petardery (no ofence to any Corky’s out thar)
High schoolers would appreciate Hamlet way more if we explained that this is a fart joke
https://interestingliterature.com/2020/07/hoist-with-his-own-petard-phrase-origins-meaning/
Maybe a robot or a clock would fix that? Perhaps some sort of lengthy mid-game review.
Canadia showing no mercy on the Ukrainians.
tell Mykolynko Hippo sez HAI
Who’s ready for some Albania v Serbia in the footy? I am sure it will totally be peaceful in Tirana today.
may each side finish with 8 on the pitch
I would enjoy a jug band cover of Kraftwerk’s Trans-Europa Express. WHY HAS THIS NOT MATERIALIZED.
(Jug notes in German)
How the fuck is it Saturday in America and the only sports worth watching were provided by the FUCKING FROGS?
Where were they fucking and who won?
I apologize for my outburst, I’m just in a bad mood because apparently I threw out a vacuum attachment I wasn’t supposed to when I threw out a bunch of other attachments I *was* supposed to and the Dr. Mrs. is going to be mad at me.
Ooh, that sucks.
On the plus side, VACUUM ATTACHMENT SHOPPING SPREE!
Here’s what’s going to happen. She won’t be able to get the attachment, so she’ll buy a new vacuum. But she’ll keep the old one because it’s great at picking up ________.
It’s actually what’s *already* happened. She only knew what the discarded attachment was for because a new one came with the replacement vacuum.
My CBC News feed (funded by the federal government, of course) is hitting me with constant Trump stuff. “Trump News Derangement Engagement More Clickment” is a thing.
I’m waiting for the Dementia to progress to the point where Trump rages against past shows and movies that he says has Trump Derangement Syndrome.
(watching The Ten Commandments)
“No adultery?! No murder?! I’m the President, why is Hollywood trying to limit the powers of the presidency?! Also, that voice of “God” doesn’t sound anything like me!!!”
I want the stage where he grabs his own poo out of his backside and lobs it at the press corps.
While the “new media” taint-lickers jockey for position so they receive Herr Fuhrer’s fecal blessings.
They shouldn’t have it succumb to that with all the money they get. I could do without the internet and tv cbc but I told the MP at my door cutting cbc radio funding was a non-starter for me. I need Derek Seguin on the debaters or life is not worth living.
Stop me if you’ve heard this one…
Former Bengals player Adam “Pacman” Jones arrested Saturday morning in Covington
Pacman gon’ shine. And Pacman gon’ drank.
When the definitive history of the United States is written, “Black Fellas Being Arrested For Being Black” is one of the first three chapters.
You are correct but I doubt skin color has much to do with this one. It does a little but reverse the skin color and he’s now a drunken white trash in the back of a squad car.
This was Kentucky, they don’t arrest people for being drunken white trash there, they’d be at it all night
Sure they do. I’ve seen them on cops. But they have to add some extra flair or the cops don’t bother.
Does the flair come from meth?
Hippo sounds like he needs some shoulders today…
Speaking of, I betcha whoever plays “Juliette” on Silo has killer shoulders. But I am only halfway through Book 1 (of 3) so I can nae google her.
GADZOOKS
/actual small town interaction that occurred last week while taking my mother to an institution to finalize some financial matters related to my sister’s passing
Mother: “Oh, wait. You grew up on our street! You must know scotchnaut, right.”
Bank Manager: [brief glance between us] “Uh yeah.”
Me: [lowered voice] “Of course.”
Background: We felt each other up at a few parties
four decades ago.
“I know you from somewhere but I can’t put my finger on…no, wait, there it is!!”
Did you give her a wink?
“Knowing Look” exchanged between us was as far as things went.
Old Man Stalin Alert:
“This Aryna Sabalenka woman-she is strong, has a powerful back. She could lift bales of hay into the tractor just three days before giving birth to strong Soviet boys. Her breasts could feed an entire Worker’s Council!” [adjusts pants]
Stakhavonite serve, comrade?
Gauf, more like ‘Goof’ amirite?
(I think she heard me)
Indeed she did.
I’ve taken the liberty of informing Ms. Sabalenka that you are the reason she lost.
And helpfully provided her with your address.
Fuck, don’t they test for steroids any more? I bet her balls are tiny.
I learned the Ukrainian word for ‘meteor’
the Ukes are just dope af, ain’t they?
They’re pretty awesome, I strongly considered moving to Kyiv before the Russian escalation
Going to in Chicago next week and was wondering if you have a suggestion for the best Gyro in the city?
Nothing specific but probably just go to Greektown and try places
Officially on the docket. Thank you.
Lets Go Cubbies!!
But the women are not very trustworthy as elderly care givers… Three times burned by their same old story…
Fine pole dancers however… Uhmmm… I’ve heard…
I’d totes use that if I could
“) spell it
/6 pronounce it
@ ??
[¢] profit from it
I’m pretty out on caring about people my own age who are fucked. I’ve been side by side with many of you dicks for 30+ years. You needed to get your shit straight in college. Then in your 20’s. Then your 30’s. Now we’re early 40’s and you’re freaking out at me about how hard it is. Yeah — well when you’ve lived a life seeing honest work as some kind of indignity, I can’t help but shrug because, especially the guys, you know better.
My father would have loved this. He used to say that lazy men and smelly women disgraced their respective genders. Agree on the former only.
[would object, but can’t be bothered]
I agree with you Dad on the smelly women. They should know better
Happy Belmont Day from Long Island!
/checks notes
Saratoga? The fuck?
I actually like Sabalenka, but that’s not going to stop me from making jokes about her greatest fear.
I also don’t care for WRITE PRODUCT REVIEW!!! emails. Unless I got a complaint, leave me alone dammit.
Current template for positive review, for use when I strongly agree about feeling exasperated:
Title – it works
Review – yes
Correct. If I wasn’t annoyed enough to bitch, service/goods provider should call that a win and FUCK THE FUCK OFF already.
You know how to tell that I’m satisfied?
I’m not actively trying to get back my money.
I usually give a shout out if their customer service is exemplary, since that is so rare now.
am soooooo jelly at your retained capacity to feel joy
The wife, rabbits, and DFO help.
The only time I will voluntarily leave a good review is when I know it will directly affect someone who legit did a really good job. A lot of CS agents are evaluated based on reviews and they have a horrible job anyway
You can hear that note of pleading when they ask on the phone. It’s full marks from me, comrade! I’ve done years of customer service, it frequently blows goats.
Two guys with nothing better to do than fuck around with a kid in their spare time. Just love it.
When I was washing dishes one of the cooks asked me to go to another resto in the mall and ask to borrow their ‘bacon stretcher’ but I didn’t fall for it. One kid later on fell for the ‘bag of steam for the steam table’ gag though.
I’ve only heard about getting sent next door to ask for “the long stand”.
Wife is gone for the day, wrapped up work a little earlier than usual, bugs are ridiculous and there’s an air advisory warning-Boys, the math tells me this is going to be a day-drinking affair.
Pour one for Ange not-looking-up-his-last-name-spelling. Apparently Drunken Sailing InstructoUr (h/t, Fronk) Thomas Frank will be next to general the Yid Army.
Downstream effects?
1) Praise Beesus could be in real relegation danger in 2025-26, as much as that would break Litre’s heart.
2) Does Richarlison come in out of the cold? He is a Thomas Frank-style player, an instrument of bludgeoning. At least that would stop the lazy return-to-Everton rumoUrs.
As long as the Whites keep their swarthty Portuguese man I am happy.
Howevah! The Bees going away would also bring me joy.
Social media. Never had it and never will.
BROTHER!!!!
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Never cared for them, always get miffed when referenced.
And fuck Splinter too.
“I’ve done…something similar. I wouldn’t recommend it.” – Deanna Favre
THIS DON T I CALL HIM REX RYAN BECAUSE HE TOO HAS AN AFFINITY FOR THE FOOT CLAN!
🤣 🔪
What surprised me is how dark and gritty the original comics are and how not any of that the movies and TV shows are.
Time for some Canadian Content.
If you have to question the validity of pants, you’re in the wrong Clubhouse.
I apparently don’t care about my personal health, as I took an additional four hours this morning, and still haven’t eaten anything but vitamins and my meds in the last 24 hours. Does Diet Dr Pepper count as a meal?
As long as you wash it down with a few gummy bears and some scotch.
If it doesn’t have calories it’s only at best a metaphorical meal, ‘a feast of the mind’ or some shit like that
Love me some Dr. Pepper. Have the one with cream soda too, tis pretty good as well
Pace yourself Buddy and take care.
only if you have two cigarettes with it like I did post divorce – the diet of championship losers