And we’re not talking about that blonde guy/girl bartendy that was hired for their looks trying to make a Miojito!
I’m currently reading Gulag: A History which leans heavily on Soviet documents and first-hand observations. None of this silly “One Day in the Life of Ivan Densiovich”, pablum this.
Turns out that Lenin was simply mirroring what the Czars had done, trying to isolate dissidents and put them in a bubble in the far reaches of the empire/country.
But then a Stalin comes along and realizes a prisoner work force can transform the country and leverage its natural resources. The human cost of this is of no matter whatsoever if your larger goal is a Five Year Plan.
I’d be curious to read alternate Soviet history novels post-1953 whereby the likes of Trotsky, (shudders in anticipation) Lavrentiy Beria, (shudders again) Boris Pasternak, (yawns a bit, but tries to follow the plot) Olga Lepeshinskaya (admires her haunches) and Lev Yashin (never moves the goalposts, ever!) do some things as leader.
Cincy, Making Things Tough: Look, you know those people out there that make things worse for themselves no matter how often a clearer path has been presented to them? Imagine AN ENTIRE FUCKING ORGANIZATION THAT HAS EMBRACED THIS FOR DECADES AND IT’S INGRAINED INTO THEIR DNA! Anyway, Shemar Stewart and Trey Hendrickson have yet to sign for the Bengalis.
Get at it. Lovliings.
It’s ghetto bird central here right now.
Hope the locals hold because one stupid thing…
Stay inside, lock the doors and windows.
Hang in there. All of yinz in Angel City.
What’s going on in Pedro?
Massive protest at 1st and Gaffey. Freeway is basically closed heading into town. Close to isolated.
Just about to land in Vegas, checked the MGM app and it seems my room is not yet ready.
Oh however will you find a time killer?
They put me in a different room and waived my ‘resort fees’!
Here’s the solution to everything:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqAqzIkQQXw
Also this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUs1HZIrMMQ
I needed to destress so I played some dance songs and danced.
It totally worked,
This was fun. Try not to dance when listening to this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kq2NH8Yinl8
starting a war on friday the 13th, seems bad i dunno
Certainly didn’t go so well for the Knights Templar
How quickly things can change…
Took a seemingly routine two (turns out, three) vehicle accident for a car crashing into another parked car. These happen multiple times a night; no biggie whatsoever.
When the police arrived, they were quickly able to determine why the driver crashed in the first place. It may have had something to do with the multiple bullet wounds in him.
He very ded
I can see how that would make steering difficult
No joke three blocks away is another call of mine, this ostensibly for a suicidal male locked in his bathroom and refusing to leave.
Were all the wounds in his right leg? All I’m asking for is the man to use his brakes for once.
2010:
2015:
2020:
which happens first:
-iran nuke program success
-gta 6 released
-half life 3 confirmed
-wizards make nba playoffs
Cowboys win a Super Bowl
Instead of a war put Jerry Jones in charge of Iran’s nuclear program.
Problem solved.
My city is extremely unchill right now.
Crazy tense vibe.
Think I’m gonna fire up the aromatherapy device, get lit and listen to Tame Impala to just fucking relax.
Found a funny:
Seems timely
I’m going to have to avoid the “World at War” channel for a few days. Half their shows are about Nazis and between Netanyahu bringing the world to the brink yet again and me being half German, I don’t want any unintended rationalizationing to occur.
TNT promoting the upcoming club world cup using pictures of Messi, Kane, Mbappe and Haaland. None of which will actually play in this farce of a tournament.
Um, not true. Mbappe will play for Real Madrid, Haaland will play for Man City, and Messi will play for Inter Milan.
Don’t really care about Kane although he will play for Bayern.
Trust me, they’re all playing.
Trying to con some idiot who thinks Boeing is at fault in the Air India crash into putting money on the outcome of the eventual report. I’m giving 10-1 to try and sucker them in
It was clearly sabotage by the evil genius who survived the crash.
Crazy that he just walked away from that!
The movie will be streaming in less than 10 months.
Just remember, always book seat 11A when flying on a 787 Dreamliner.
My mild flight anxiety is having a field day with this one since Im off to chicago next week
If you’ll be around Thursday we could grab a beer
Just missing me. I’m wheels down 8a Friday morning.
I fly out Friday night, but I theoretically should do work. Drop me a line if you’re around Wrigley though!
You really need to talk with Taj.
He’s there next week with guests.
Will do! My college roomates and I are doing a trip and we’re going to the Cubs game on sunday if you’re back from your latest adventure
Shitttt
Apparently Israel assassinated some Iranian Nuclear Scientists and is trying to start a war with Iran
That is Not Rocking 😞
You could have posted this at any time in the past 20 years and it would have been true so this at least is not too worrying in isolation. In context though…
In a related topic, “rocking” will likely be the casus belli of World War IV.
The parallels and similarities between the July Crisis of 1914 and right now in the Middle East are… striking.
Not really. The alliances aren’t the same. Russia has its hands full and didn’t really want Iran to have nuclear weapons anyway. It’s going to be Iran v Israel and everyone else watching like the Simpsons meme
I just hope both sides have fun.
I hope you’re right, but I see a lot of countries getting sucked into someone else’s shit, just like 1914.
Wayne Gretzky looks really annoyed at having to be up past his bedtime.
I can relate. I won’t come down from the Stanley Cup Cocaine for a couple of hours and I’ve got work in the morning!
Pickard absolutely starts game 5 right?
Of course not. They won this by starting Skinner. Run it back!
Yeah baby!! Tied up!!
SUCK IT FLORIDA
SUCK IT HARD
SUCK IT DEEP
SUCK IT ALL THE WAY TO ONTARIO
THEN GARGLE MY BALLLLLS
THIS JJ FOZZ I CALL HIM JOHN AMOS BECAUSE HE WANTS FLORIDA TO PLAY WITH HIS BALLS.
Hockey Fozz or Horny Fozz?
Florida should be used to that. Relatively minor price to pay for meth.
FUCK YEAH!!!!
(Edmonton absolutely did not deserve that win)
An own goal, no less.
EULERS! WE’RE GOING STREAKING!
OK, but I’m wearing sneakers.
Find something you love to do as much as the Eulers love fanning at the puck and you’ll never work a day in your life.
Jesus, Edmonton just cannot catch a break.
STANLEY CUP COCAINE!!! LET’S RIDE!!!
There’s about 7 things that can happen when a goalie plays the puck, and six of them are bad.
As just seen.
That’s why I dont play the puck when I’m in net.
Most kids who were steered into goaltending early on weren’t steered there because they were awesome stickhandles.
Yeah, that’s what threw me out of Mighty Ducks 3.
Not “Why would they sign the entire team and not the individual players?”
Not “How did this team win two Sports Movies and without any defense?”
Not “Why is that guy eligible to play the 2nd half of the last game? He’s not even enrolled in the school?”
Not “Oh, Dear God, I’m watching Mighty Ducks 3?! What has happened with my life?!”
But “Why would you make a Goalie a Defenseman? A Defenseman has to go all over the ice and quickly get to the puck; a Goaltender literally does the opposite of that!”
1) He turns the puck over
2) He shoots it into his own net
3) He shoots it into the crowd, causing a delay of game penalty
4) He hits the ref with the puck, causing inflammation of the perineum.
5) He tries to show off by eating the puck whole, but can’t and gets the Heimlich Maneuver from the opposing left winger, who presses too hard and the puck ends up shooting across the ice and they have to stop the game and get the Zamboni because of the grossness.
6) He misplays the puck and Israel bombs Iran which starts World War Z.
World War Z sounds pretty good right now.
Zombie Me might finally lose a few pounds.
Why do you want to leave the world to Trump Voters?
The Simpsons – BRAINS! – YouTube
More hockey cocaine!
*fires up helicopter and motorcycle*
So in one shift at work, US Senators are being arrested for asking questions and Netanyahu is trying start WW3 again. How long was that shift?!
Look, if the heads of state of Israel and Iran wanna fight to the death, that’s win-win.
But it’s your fault for going to work. Let that be a lesson.
Well, the “blank cheque” if you will was Redshirt wearing pants to work.
NOTHING GOOD HAPPENS IN THAT SCENARIO
Oh god, worse than I imagined.
Also, obligatory
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpEF6QPSVJE&pp=ygUPaG9tZXIgYXlhdG9sbGFo
You can Pickard your friends, and you can Pickard your nose, but you can’t… wait, let me start over.
But you can Pickard him to start game 5
I have to wake up early. I ain’t got time for this.
*********** WCS HAS A BRAINSMRT IDEA ***************
Since the U.S. Open is in Oakmont this week, Allegheny County is expecting somewhere around 600,000 visitors from across the globe.
What will be the most White Upper Crust Male Is Mildly Inconvenienced and Demands to Speak With the Manager of… golf… call I experience this weekend?
I don’t have a used fleshlight, but, winner can get some used Kleenex with snot from both my heads if you want as the prize. I’ve got a lot of those.
Submit yinz guesses below!
The closest BMW dealer is overcharging someone for something mundane but they need to be able to drive back to their estate
“A street person was panhandling at the corner of an intersection and threw themselves in front of my mercedes.”
This is my pick.
Having to drive through Butler or Altoona.
We always called people from Altoona “Altoids”. Not because they were minty fresh, but because they were probably failed alien experiments.
I did that last summer for a buddy’s wedding. It was pouring ass rain and dark leaving Pittsburgh to go to Altoona. It was certainly an experience.
It probably won’t be sunburn, if I recall my Yinzish summers correctly. I know, the pool was too cold!
Line for VIP parking is longer than for regular parking
“I thought these dudes were professionals? Look at the condition of this tee box!” Then point out the worst chunk with divots all around it. “YOU KNOW that’s from where I like to hit my tee shots!”
EULERS tame the kitties.
Kame the titties.
This is what we come here for, elevated discourse!
Last Friday at my brother in laws, watching hockey.
Mrs. Fozz sits down and rattles off the following questions:
“Who is in the white?”
“Are all the players on Florida from America?”
“Is this the regular season?”
My brother in law, nicest guy in the world, says, “I think you need to go outside with my wife and have a margarita. I really think you should.”
Meanwhile Sharkbait 2.0 can point to the Rangers logo and go “hockey!” despite me never explicitly telling him that is a hockey team. Also he knows what hockey sticks are and loves playing with them in the yard.
He can really do that?
Even after this season?
Surprisingly yes.
So we gonna talk about Senator Padilla getting tackled to the ground by the FBI for “interrupting” Secretary Noem’s press conference?
Yeah….not great
Have to keep your head on a swivel at ALL times. This is why you have to attend OTA’s.
Yeah, this is a red flag…however did he interrupt her talking or did he wait for Noem to ask for any questions?
So this is totally going to happen. “The Insurrection Act of 1807 allows the president to use active-duty military personnel to perform law-enforcement duties inside the US.”
It’s going to be a long , hot, stupid summer. Buckle up.
.https://youtu.be/kWdfRRtAs3o?si=4bWvznePjRyZdmlM
If I did what Padilla did I’d have been shot. He was grandstanding to provoke a reaction and he got it.
And frankly it looks like it worked, at least somewhat, so good for him.
I’m glad I wasn’t the only one to notice that. I thought it was the Repressed Conservative in me or something.
At least he did something. Schumer’s out there making terrible TACO jokes and Pelosi’s disassociating about anarchists in public.
Turns out the Inuit put their elderly and infirm on ice floes for a reason.
“No one loves the Democratic Party more than I do. I’ve spent my entire life devoted to this Party, spreading its message and doing right by the American people.”
— man responsible for losing every important national Senate election since 2010
Yeah, just picture this mixed with Ohio and you’ll kind of see why I choose the Dark Side.
Mic them up. RELEASE THE TAPES!
Gretz is giving off some serious “we saw you across the bar and we like your vibe” energy in that picture.
All 6 goals have been scored in the same net.
Tilted ice!
Not anymore
Ciao tutti
60% of the time, it works every time.*
*applies only to the post-season
Made of bits of real post-season success, so it’s guaranteed to be 100% Cowboys-free.
“Cowboys fans are bandwagon jumpers”
My brothers in Christ, the Dallas Cowboys have not won a Super Bowl in 30 years. That bandwagon is on fire and off the side of the road in a ditch filled with manure.
Which does give me an idea for Ol’ Double J’s mausoleum design…
Post-draft pizza it is. Picks were made, jokes about names were made, and I passed on a guy named Sinister Delray in the 1st round.
First major international anything in Allgeheny County during the 9-1-1 Operator/Being With Nobility stage of my time on this mortal coil. Add anti-ICE protests across town, humidity, and a dash of Friday the 13th this weekend. That’s all whipped cream, sprinkles, and a cherry on top of the US Open Sundae.
If nothing else, we’re going to learn lessons for what not to do with the Draft come spring.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atH6ik_LJ9s
Edmonton being Nursed back into it
I check the score of game 4, 3-0 after one. Now it’s 3-3. Is it me or do I smell some bananacakes cooking in Florida…
Or it’s meth. It’s Florida, so it’s probably meth.
Momentum has been swinging like an upside down pineapple.
Both its both
The Moss Pit? I don’t see Randy, smgdh
decilitre goes to public school so nothing special, we just got a form we have to sign so he can have a freezee (popsicle type thing) on water fight day. Things may have gone a bit too far in protectionism of the chill’ins.
But what if he gets brain freeze?? The horror!
That’s ridiculous
All those sugars and dyes and not a hint of essential oils. You’re leading him straight into the grave.
Honestly, im fine with putting a few more signatures on parents if it saves the teachers of various conversations/complaints on the matter. Poor women (I give men no grace, fuck men) have enough to handle without having to waste energy with an adult on “exactly understanding how Ralph was handed a sugar pop on Friday.”
That said — Deci should have a laminated hall pass.
This dude is crushing, just hit like 4 sixes in a row to round out a half century and just hit another 6!
It’s fireworks for a 6, regular fire for a wicket, and the small Indian children in the crowd know what a 4 is but I’m not sure about the difference between that and a 1 or possibly 2 if that’s a thing BLERN
Hey, I just watched the fastest century in Major League Cricket history!
This could work as a Brick signal
There are apparently power plays in this version of cricket. They get an extra fielder. Not sure if there was a penalty or if this always happens on the 6th over or if this is blernscricket
The Nuge is HUGE.
A good cricket thing happened!
Crickety!
They have LEDs in the wickets!
Is that in Oakland?!?
The ghost of Al Davis didn’t clue you in?
Yup, in the Coliseum. I’ve seen 3 sports here now
Hey Oilers, I have an idea. Quit taking dumb penalties.
They’ll have plenty of time to not take penalties after Saturday when their season ends.
Completely undisciplined.
It was just a matter of time, wasn’t it? Geeeeez.
Report: Antonio Brown Facing Attempted Murder Charge – Steelers Depot
He can be a very accomplished wide receiver in the pokey!
He’ll go in as a tight end . . .
This is less surprising than the Titan implosion.
(The submersible thing, not the Levis QB experiment)
I wonder if his lawyer will use the classic “Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?” defense.
I made this joke at my diceball draft!
These stupid fucks have everything they could ever want. everything. the rest of us are treading water, drowning, or rotting at the bottom. beat him to death with an authentic medieval mace.
OH jesus, we have to see fuckface and birdlegs even at an nhl game? fuck you nhl!
Almost literally everything can go get fucked in This Darkest Timeline.
Though some things I just want to set on fire. Just not out of love.
I’m with you. i have completely tuned out current events. let it fucking burn. i’ll light hte match
Was assuming you meant Trump and some whore.
But instead it’s Taylor Swift and some whore.
I forget, was “Fuckface and Birdlegs” a spinoff of “Jake and the Fatman,” or “Hardcastle & McCormack”?
After MASH
Scarecrow and Mrs. King. My toddler son called it Frozen Mr. King, and the show that followed it was Crazy in a Box ( Crazy like a Fox)
The Steelers’ summer would be redeemed if they could sign Trey Hendrickson from the Bengals…
It’s the summer of QAron and there’s just no polishing that turd.
At least he vibes with the HHS Secretary!
Is that the boat brick was on?
Poop deck constantly covered in seamen.
Ballsys ears just perked up
Testing out the “defense wins championships” maxim? i guess the Broncos Owl with Brokeneck Manning showed it was possible
Have you met my team???