Sexy Friday – 20250711

TGIF! Fuck Microsoft forever. Spent all day fixing an Exchange server that got fucked by an update that just randomly installed itself this morning. First of all, those updates are supposed to only be applied on Saturday night, and secondly, and most importantly, that update shouldn’t fucking cripple the server. I’m going to be mad about this all weekend. Totally ruined my Friday drinking schedule.

Word Count Filler Time

Speaking of common annoyances, let’s take a look at some advances in the cleaning space. (No vacuums are discussed below for obvious PTSD related reasons)

1. Window Glass
The product is “Cleartect” and it’s a self-cleaning glass. Initially made for airports and office buildings, its effectiveness soon made it a popular option for homes. The glass is coated in titanium oxide which is photocatalytic and hydrophilic. That results in with any amount of moisture and light anything on the surface of the glass breaks down and is washed away.

2. Toilet Seat
This is not about a bidet. You should already have that as it’s one of mankind’s greatest inventions. Instead, this is for a public toilet and it’s a self-cleaning toilet seat. After every use, the seat simply rotates through a washing device on the back of the seat. The washing removes such items as staph, E. Coli, hep A, and strep. I, for one, did not realize my exposed rectum was subject to such infections previously. Also, the cleaning cycle only takes 15 seconds and you can manually initiate and additional cleaning cycle if you’re paranoid.

3. Clothes
Back to the self-cleaning theme, these are self-cleaning clothes. And surprise! Titanium dioxide is is used here too. However, this only works on cotton threads. But it works the same and breaks down pollutants and with enough movement and light the cotton will stay clean.

That’s enough cleaning talk for today. It’s the weekend, let’s move on.

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Sexy Time

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!

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Mr. Ayo
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Brick Meathook

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ThePirateSloth

Can I kick it?

Doktor Zymm
ThePirateSloth

The MrsSloth just bought a few Kraken shirts and a hoodie, because “she likes the colors”.

Guess this means we have to attend a game now. So that’s gonna be a thing this fall.

SonOfSpam

Can he pay extra to move up 3 rows?

Brick Meathook

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Horatio Cornblower

Well, he’s not here tonight so I’ll fill in:

Bases loaded, Phillies hit a tough short comeback towards the mound, pitcher runs in, gloves and flips it to the catcher for the force out…THAT’S ROCKING!!

yeah right

Ridiculous week at work but home and Happy Friday!

I’ve got the MLB network and if you start the feed before the game is over you can watch from the beginning

Cubs at Yankees.

Home in time. Started from the beginning. Three innings in power surge.
Network out.
Fuck.
Half an hour later I’m past the broadcast finish and lost the recording.
Checked the score.

Is grateful the game was missed.
Now I’m gonna watch something more uplifting and lighthearted.

/ Turns on “No Country for Old Men”

Horatio Cornblower

/Turns on late baseball game

//Padres are wearing their tropical City Connect unis

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2Pack

Some things in life are a sure thing. In quality titty flicks, a girls gym class scene is always followed by a locker room shower scene. And lady number 9 can wash my car… anytime. Thank you Mr Ayo.

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Horatio Cornblower

Either Hugh Grant is the dumbest man in the history of everything, or Elizabeth Hurley is a lousy lay.

Personally I would bet heavily on the former.

2Pack

But would certainly try the later to confirm.

Horatio Cornblower

I mean yes, although the Summit Meeting between Ms. Hurley and Mrs. Horatio beforehand would be something to behold.

King Hippo

At least he already has a good stripper name if he needs a new line of work.

SonOfSpam

*just now hit a grand slam for his 2nd dong in the last two innings

yeah right

I’ll have the Dave Niehaus special please.

WCS

9-1-1 has been out Commonwealth-wide today. It’s also my scheduled day off.

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Jimbo

Article says it’s an “IT” issue. Did they try turning it off and on again?

https://www.cbsnews.com/philadelphia/news/pa-911-outage-pennsylvania-emergency/

King Hippo

Also, they should have saved it for Stillers season amirite??

Gumbygirl

Smack it with a hammer. It won’t fix it, will probably make it worse, but you’ll feel better!

Horatio Cornblower

‘Experiencing technical difficulties. Have you considered whether this is truly an emergency, or perhaps something you could handle yourself if you weren’t such a goddamn baby?”

WCS

TRUMP MAED YOU ALL MANLY ALFAMENS NOW SO PULL UP UR STRAPS AND SNOWTARDS

ballsofsteelandfury

Numéro cuatro mamá mía!!

King Hippo

9/11 Lego set? LUCKY!

Jimbo
SonOfSpam

This is very very unsurprising and kinda welcome:

https://x.com/NBCNews/status/1943717109831233549

Jimbo

Too much Botox?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I refuse to click on twitter ever again, I’m just going to assume that Kristi Noem died from a botox overdose and sleep like a happy baby tonight.

SonOfSpam

Close.

Someone in Arizona died from the bubonic plague.

ballsofsteelandfury

Fun fact: “The plague” is still alive and thriving in the squirrel population.

In CALIFORNIA…

Brick Meathook

I bet I’m the only person here who has a plague vaccine on my shot record.

I’ll drink beer and urinate on all your graves.

Horatio Cornblower

Me too.

Now, what’s all this about the plague?

2Pack

Nope. Apparently it was a thing back in the ’90’s or so says not one… but two of my yellow shot record booklets.

Last edited 7 months ago by 2Pack
Gumbygirl

Yeah, Gumby got that jab too.

Horatio Cornblower

God, please let this spread.

litre_cola

My Jim Abbott jersey has shown up for the Angels game in Sept. Very pleased. The Kolb jersey will be worn at the Eagles bar Thursday night. I believe that I am bringing Zymm the Asomugha one.

SonOfSpam

Not sure how appropriate this is, but if you’re good with it, go ahead:

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WCS

Like telling JPP and/or Najee Harris to, “Gimme three-and-a-half!”

Last edited 7 months ago by WCS
litre_cola

Spam you wanna come to the Kevin Kolbs v NGCowpersons in Venice?

SonOfSpam

Ok, was wondering what the hell you were talking about (aboot)…sounds like a watch party for the Thu game. That’s a bit of a haul for me on a weeknight, so unless I get a wild hair, I’ll probably pass. But thanks! Are you staying that night in Venice?

litre_cola

Yes. As is Dok I reckon

Doktor Zymm

Yup

scotchnaut

/at the LCBO, no word of a lie

Cashier: “How’s your summer going?”

Me: “It’s super busy as always but I took this week off to get a bit of rest.”

Cashier: “You still look completely exhausted! Oh. Oh. I’m sorry.”*

Me: [sighs] “It’s ok.”

*Lise is incapable of lying

King Hippo

She still thinks you’d be an especially vigoUroUs and talented lover.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is a short video of my former neighbor being told by Ben Affleck that she looks tired. Her response is gold.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EO1vqltTMow

ballsofsteelandfury

Tell me the cashier is Canadian without telling me the cashier is Canadian.

Sharkbait

This two year old sleep regression phase sharkbait 2.0 is in can fuck alllllllllllll the way off.

Last edited 7 months ago by Sharkbait
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Horatio Cornblower

“Fuck, Now There Are Two Of You” is so goddamn true.

King Hippo

THREE AND EIGHT OH MY GOOD BASTARD MAN JORB!!

Doktor Zymm

The preliminary report on the Air India crash is out. The fuel cutoff switches to both engines were engaged after takeoff.

 From the report:

The aircraft achieved the maximum recorded airspeed of 180 Knots IAS at about 08:08:42
UTC and immediately thereafter, the Engine 1 and Engine 2 fuel cutoff switches transitioned
from RUN to CUTOFF position one after another with a time gap of 01 sec. The Engine N1
and N2 began to decrease from their take-off values as the fuel supply to the engines was cut
off.
In the cockpit voice recording, one of the pilots is heard asking the other why did he cutoff.
The other pilot responded that he did not do so.
The CCTV footage obtained from the airport showed Ram Air Turbine (RAT) getting deployed
during the initial climb immediately after lift-off (fig. 15). No significant bird activity is observed
in the vicinity of the flight path. The aircraft started to lose altitude before crossing the airport
perimeter wall.
As per the EAFR, the Engine 1 fuel cutoff switch transitioned from CUTOFF to RUN at about
08:08:52 UTC. The APU Inlet Door began opening at about 08:08:54 UTC, consistent with
the APU Auto Start logic. Thereafter at 08:08:56 UTC the Engine 2 fuel cutoff switch also
transitions from CUTOFF to RUN. When fuel control switches are moved from CUTOFF to
RUN while the aircraft is inflight, each engines full authority dual engine control (FADEC)
automatically manages a relight and thrust recovery sequence of ignition and fuel introduction.
The EGT was observed to be rising for both engines indicating relight. Engine 1’s core
deceleration stopped, reversed and started to progress to recovery. Engine 2 was able to
relight but could not arrest core speed deceleration and re-introduced fuel repeatedly to
increase core speed acceleration and recovery. The EAFR recording stopped at 08:09:11
UTC
As per the EAFR data both engines N2 values passed below minimum idle speed, and the
RAT hydraulic pump began supplying hydraulic power at about 08:08:47 UTC.
RAT in extended position
15
As per the EAFR, the Engine 1 fuel cutoff switch transitioned from CUTOFF to RUN at about
08:08:52 UTC. The APU Inlet Door began opening at about 08:08:54 UTC, consistent with
the APU Auto Start logic. Thereafter at 08:08:56 UTC the Engine 2 fuel cutoff switch also
transitions from CUTOFF to RUN. When fuel control switches are moved from CUTOFF to
RUN while the aircraft is inflight, each engines full authority dual engine control (FADEC)
automatically manages a relight and thrust recovery sequence of ignition and fuel introduction.
The EGT was observed to be rising for both engines indicating relight. Engine 1’s core
deceleration stopped, reversed and started to progress to recovery. Engine 2 was able to
relight but could not arrest core speed deceleration and re-introduced fuel repeatedly to
increase core speed acceleration and recovery. The EAFR recording stopped at 08:09:11
UTC
At about 08:09:05 UTC, one of the pilots transmitted “MAYDAY MAYDAY MAYDAY”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Basically this but in real life.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fuel Cutoff Switch Rules

1) You can’t just be up there and just turnin’ off the fuel like that.

1a. A cutoff is when you

1b. Okay well listen. A cutoff is when you cut off the fuel

1c. Let me start over

1c-a. The pilot is not allowed to flip the switch to the, uh, off position, that prohibits the engine from getting, you know, the fuel it needs to gain altitude. You can’t do that.

1c-b. Once the plane is in the air, the pilot can’t be over here and cutting off the fuel, like, “We’re going down! I’m gonna crash the plane! You better watch your butt!” and then just be like he didn’t even do that.

…and so on

WCS

“Regicide”

Senor Weaselo

2. Do not do a fuel cutoff please

Brick Meathook

Newsflash: Scientists have linked titanium dioxide to painful rectal cancer.

scotchnaut

Cool your jets, fella. Some other scientists are working on a slightly improved titanium dioxide that can reduce that pain felt by that rectal cancer victim by up to 10%!

/#progress

BugEyedBoo

Ask your oncologist if Rektali is right for you!