Welcome, welcome! Monday Night Football (or a somewhat reasonable facsimile thereof) will be played tonight. We have Redshirt’s Bengals vs. Dok’s Commanders, one team still struggling under the “leadership” of the teams owner vs. the team that is gaining strength after being emancipated from Danny Boy Snyder and his horrible no good management style, and let’s not forget the toxic atmosphere he engendered.
Tonight’s tilt is taking place in Landover Maryland so the Commanders have home field advantage, like they will need it. Let’s see for you degenerates out there (I mean come on, if you are betting on Bengal’s games, you have a problem) for the money line. Look for the helpline number at the bottom of the DraftKings or FanDuel ads, they are on tv constantly so you won’t have to wait long, if you can actually see the text.
ESPN has the Bengals at -4.5, O/U 43.5
Notable news about the teams:
The Bengals have injuries to the OL, huh, I wonder if they have a boiler plate they use every season for this reporting. Let us hope Joe Burrow does not start, or is only in for a short series. Probably playing QB will be (at this time), I have no fucking clue. Like I bother to keep up with the Bengals QB situation, I mean Joe Burrow is it, without him, they do not stand a chance (just like rational thought in our current government). Doubt Trey Hendrickson will play as he is trying to escape the Bengals it seems.
Washington appears to be starting their starters, no telling how long series they will play, but if both teams do start the game with their starting players, the first half may actually be fun.
I look forward to seeing everyone in the comments.
Nice
Jesus, videotape sucks. That’s from seven years ago, it looks like the Olden Days of Yore.
There is a period in the ’80’s where VHS, viewed today, was just awful. Black and white films from the ’30’s are more clear. Brick explained once the technical issues behind that. But it’s a shame because a lot of cultural history is lost.
320×400 on a CRT, with the VHS turned down to slow speed, is rough these days. Go pull a game that you really like, such as Diablo 1 or Master of Orion 2, and remember the days when that looked good.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/bTTAEtqteXA
Moar killer floof.
Last funny:
the final insult of AI is going to be forcing us all to become linux guys. we’re all going to be like oh yeah downloading stuff on linux is super easy you just juice the tarball and compile the pulp in the sudo command line. not like windows where you have to click on things
I don’t know what any of that means, but I’m nodding vigorously
Ciao tutti
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/f31bgL8-iaI
Murder floofs
All cats are…cats. +100, would totally scritch!
I got to play with lion cubs in Fourways (the same place where that Game of Thrones producer got mauled to death!) and they looked very much like the two at the very end.
All housecats look at their owners at least once and think “if I were 125 more lbs. I’d snap your neck and stuff you in a tree to eat later”
I am pretty sure my cat thinks about it constantly. She literally bit my ear hard enough to draw blood last night.
She just thought ” I bet my man would look cute with an earring!”
I am fluent in cat.
https://ibb.co/VW2q5dVg
Watching the Jason Momoa series on Apple, Chief of War, that everyone made a big deal about, but it’s just Game of Thrones moved to Hawaii and without the dragons.
Did Blax make an cameos in the background? He’s a Hawaiian native.
They do keep referring to ‘Paleskins’ so there’s a chance he gets in.
Nah, he got the Robert Downey Jr in Tropic Thunder procedure so no one thinks he’s a ha’ole.
S-M-R-T
I think I spotted him in one of the beach shots.
Surfing is cool to watch, but I would never try it. I mostly stay out of the ocean. It’s like Australia. Too many things trying to kill you.
Hasn’t he done that same show 3 times already?
Yes, but not in Polynesian with English subtitles!
Doing well.
And you?
Pretty good. I won all three of my service games in doubles tonight. I couldn’t carry us, though – we lost the set 6-4.
Not quite what I expected
Seems legit…what’s surprising?
The absolute confidence in which the Steelers get 3rd
Ravens and Bengals should be varying kinds of good, Browns may be historically awful, so I’d make that bet.
(Steelers go 17-0 to spite me)
Fair, but worse than even money for third just seems like a shitty bet to me, no matter which teams
Could see Balt 14-3, Cin 10-7, Pit 9-8, Cle 1-16.
(this will be hella-funny in about 20 weeks)
“Browns name Joe Flacco Starter”
ROTFLMAO
♫…return of the Flacc…♫
♫…return of the Flacc…♫
His taste in music is less urban, more suburban. Think Train or Jason Mraz.
Browning isn’t very good. Is he the Cinci backup with the smokeshow wife? Or was that theblad from Bama?
https://nypost.com/2024/01/07/sports/jake-brownings-girlfriend-sparks-frenzy-with-bengals-outfit/
She needs to do more squats, I question her commitment to trophy wife hood.
Eh, good enough for the participation trophy that is “backup qb wife”
She seems fun.
I bet she smells nice
The comments on that article are another sign of the apocalypse
I hear he’s prone to jamming if nawt cleaned regularly
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4h0fyPPEsA
Bengals defense do a good?
Well, more like lucked into a super shitty thrown. But, hey, credit for catching it.
Was it Josh Johnson? Or John Joshson?
Jhos Johanson I believe.
Josht Johnston.
Now just a series or two with Burrow at Middle Linebacker and Bengals will be satisfied
Don’t give Joe any ideas! He’s probably so mad, he might go two ways.
“… And that was how Burrow’s adult film career started”
(puts on gimp mask) “If it gets Trey resigned, I’ll take one for the team.”
Is that with onions and cheese? So confusing!
Well done GG.
/two way is delicious BTW. H/t Balls for sending me Skyline Chili cans
(me watching this drive)
He survived! Incredible.
The WAS D is NOT this good. Maybe it’ll move the odds for week 1 tho. Sorry Redshirt, if this holds your team is even more boned than usual
I’ve never been so pissed seeing the Bengals pick up first downs.
PULL! BURROW!!!
PUSH! BARROW!!!
always fun when Redshirt loses his mind and posts like trump
just leaving Burrow out there to collect his life insurance to pay for Hendrickson
Having the Ravens and Commies as my local TV teams ought to produce some damn good games this year.
/still getting RedZone
Youtube TV finally got their shit together, so I got Sunday Ticket and RedZone for this season. I couldn’t get it last year because I pay for Youtube TV through Google Pay, and that wasn’t allowed for some reason. But I wasn’t about to cancel and sign up again, I had too much stress going on last summer/ fall to deal with streaming shenanigans. And there are ALWAYS shenanigans! It took me 5 fucking months to cancel Peacock, and I had to call Amazon soooo many times before they stopped charging me $5.99 a month for who knows what.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=db6QIx11vMA&pp=ygUSa2lsbGluZyBqb2tlIGxhdWdo
What’s the line on Bengals D points allowed over the first few games? I’m thinking around 40
Also looks like big Daddy Drew Magary has started his annual Why Your Team Sucks! posts 🏈
He posted the Broncos today I think… 🐎
been running on defector since late july though he does have some others cover about 1 out of 3 of them but still good catalog of hate and fan self loathing available
Remember when Drew used to get on Bill Simmons for doing the same thing over and over again?
Pepperidge Farm remembers.
Found a funny:
Love the pull tab on soup. Love to pop open a Soup and chug it straight out of the can.
Go see Weapons, you gain a new appreciation for the technology.
Well, I just aged five years that play.
Wow, Burrow just ran like 400 yards before that sack
That was…something.
“Burrow still in, but Chase and Higgins are out.”
Yeah, because out of those three, you can probably live without that guy.
Whoa video of a cargo shit exploding in Baltimore Harbor in Maryland
That doesn’t seem Rocking… 😬
Is this a metaphor for something?!?!?
https://bsky.app/profile/azintel.bsky.social/post/3lwplucnrsk2f
Yeah, where is Fozz?!
What did Baltimore Harbor do to an old gypsy woman??
Thinner.
Which parts of a harbor are the genitalia? All the docks I guess? And maybe the loading cranes?
Right by that broken bridge.
Where is Frank Sobotka’s name? I’m not seeing it anywhere!
Pay. Trey. You. Cheap. Ass. Rich-Poor. Bastards!
I thought it was the Bungle’s OL that was injured?
Wow, I mean the defense does know the other team are allowed to run right?
The D isn’t injured, they’re just like that
So, why exactly do players hold out of training camp? Wouldn’t it be better leverage to participate and make yourself essential but not play in the actual season if you don’t have an agreement by then?
Injury risk is my best guess. Not sure but maybe game cheques add up to more than the max daily fines they get holding out camp?
Injury risk or risk of sucking was all I could come up with
Ahh risk of sucking, that makes sense too
Redshirt, do the Bengals know that they can tackle?
“Like fishing tackle? What does that have to do with football??”
– Bengals D
Maybe playing by 2030 NFL Rules?
Yay Jayden!
I won’t fall for you again in FF Deebo. I won’t do it
Even if there’s no WR1 in WAS?
What else ya got there?,
After McLaurin and Deebo? Noah Brown et al
I just know I will draft him somewhere and hate myself
Maybe Trey Hendrickson could hop in to the WAS lineup for a couple plays. Just for fun, or negotiating tactic or tryout or something
Found a funny:
good shirt to wear for when you’re dying in the hospital
Coping would work as well.
Burrow et al starting, someone’s gunna get killed
…and the turf is wet from rain. It’s like watching Final Destination.
PREPARE THE GROUND FOR THE CEREMOKNEEAL SACRIFICE
Long workday so getting dinner at the bar and will watch the first half or however long it takes me to eat and have a couple drinks.
Here’s to hoping Landover doesn’t eat anyone and may all the snakebites be non-venomous!
Joe Burrow is 1-9 in the first two weeks of his career so far. That…could use some improvement.
That’s why they’ve been starting him in preseason, but seems nawt advisable w/o O-line although I guess he’s used to that so who knows *shrug*
I loved being stoned as fuck and watching an MST3K of an Ed Wood “film”.
The Creeping Terror. Worst. Monster. Design. Ever.
Lowratio doing the crab walk could still out run this thing.
Albert Haynesworth could out run this thing.
I don’t know, Lost in Space had some incredibly bad stuff. I remember one that was torn up Hefty bags and like a gorilla head?
Ed Wood being its own draft category of Best Movie based on a Bad Movie(s), though probably a few others
Okay, except for the Trey Hendrickson thing, this offseason and preseason hasn’t been too horrific. Hopefully this can continue in…uh…where are we playing again?
(checks Internet)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXb0zcEM-rI&pp=ygUhZ2V0IG91dCBnZXQgb3V0dGEgdGhlcmUgc3RhciB0cmVr0gcJCa0JAYcqIYzv
cept for Collinsworth family who can have a family picnic on the Washington turf