Hey, best of luck to everyone in both DFO fantasy leagues except for Ayo, who can rot in hell. (why yes, he is my opponent this week) JK, Ayo-may your freezer always remain cold. Let’s get at it.
To The Games!
Fins/Colts:
Two teams on the precipice but one of them is no longer under the thumb of a pill-addled nepo man. Was that harsh? (I think that may have been harsh) There’s enough talent there for both teams to get over the hump but I think both coaches don’t survive the season. Daniel Jones will play behind a somewhat competent offensive line since, since ever? It won’t make any difference though-he’s been ruined in a way that only David Carr can truly understand.
Cards/Saints:
Wait a sec. Shouldn’t this unwatchable tilt be hidden in the late slate? Easier to hide it here? Ah, I get it now. New Orleans will be in QB hell all season, having to rely on Rattler or rookie Shough to guide them after Derek Carr’s retirement. I can’t see them getting to 4 wins.
Raiders/Pats:
Of all the second-year QB’s in the league, it seems that no one is under more pressure to succeed than Maye. Belichick is long gone but organizational malaise is still apparent with respect to the wr spot. A washed Diggs is your answer? All starters less than 6′ and under 200 pounds? The only receiver room that might be worse is TA DA! them Raiders.
Steelers/Jets:
“Revenge Game” narrative rears it’s ugly head. But, but Rodgers’ base personality is ‘petty dipshit’ though. It’s funny to me that Green Bay finally drafted a wr in the first round after Aaron left and that Pitt traded away Pickens as well. It’s as though GM’s unconsciously want The Precious One to fail.
Giants/Commies:
Welp, we’ll find out early how New York is going to fare in their division. If Daniels takes another leap forward in his progress the entire league will be on notice, never mind the NFC East. He is well-suited, given his running ability, to deal with the Giants pass rush so I can’t see Washington losing here.
Panthers/Jags:
Usually an afterthought, this is my pick for under-rated game of the day. The O/U sits at 46.5 as the defenses will struggle all year long and the respective offenses could be sneaky good.
Bengals/Browns:
Love that Cincy offense but that D will make too many games too close to call. Will Cleveland be the first team to dress 4 QB’s once Watson comes back? Make it happen, Browns.
Bucs/Falcons:
I think there’s a wild card spot available to each of the teams here so this tilt has outsized importance for the participants. Don’t sleep on that Tampa offense if Mayfield can continue on the path he forged last year.
Give me all of your good stuff.
Yeeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhh!
TOMLIN BULLSHIT!
Tomlin bullshit vs. Same old Jets? Inevitable.
The finest bullshit!
Just your normal win.
16 more to go.
/lights a candle and prays for Redshirt
The Redzone crew is fucking rusty.
Fronk’s logic was (bet-wise) well constructed but it relied on the Giants being competent. Ah well…
Spot on with the Colts tho
Ok, THAT was voodoo!
Jimmy proud of Penix with hat first down
…
Do you taste copper.
Talk to us buddy
ELITE interception!
Receiver’s Frog Hands gotta be an INT substat.
Oh Browns. Never change
“If you give the Commies another Touchdown.”
-worst kid’s book ever
–Neil Armstrong
IT’S FLACCO TIME!!!
2 minutes to shine.
I’m in Hell.
Been drinking with DFOers for 4 days? Me too.
Question:
Were you ever out of it?
Say hi to Kissinger for me!
And there it is. Someone on social media saying the bears should have kept Justin fields
tbf, he would’ve gotten them another tank for another first overall pick
How long before this Szmith kid is deported?
think his performance is warranting a cabinet position
/South Sudan BBQ Express van parks in lot
Counter protester to the usual Jesus freaks outside.
Syzmt not only needs a vowel, he’s going to need a new job too.
He’s gonna get a bowel movement inside his locker
Cleveland’s kicker (Zzyzx I think) is costing them this game and lol
Just get him to say his name backwards and you can void his contract.
Pauls gonna Paul.
SHANK’LOR!!!!
SHAN’KHLOR is not fucking around this season.
Oh my god cleveland.
football game unrelated
ZACH WILSON ALERT HIDE YOUR MOM
hi zach
I have decided not to purchase pantaloons today, but will wait for the rain to end and walk the dog instead.
But I am doing some actual work.
Bengals Offensive Line just folded like a bunch of cards!
Myles Garrett: Pretty good
https://bsky.app/profile/marcofoster.bsky.social/post/3lybe4ybn722g
Director: “Cut the feed! Cut the feed!”
Love to see that fat fuck play a set of tennis.
No you wouldn’t , it’s gross.
Goddamn. Thanks for sharing.
Sorry! And for the hat, soUrry!
Coutnerpoint, he’d almost certainly have a heart attack, and I’m willing to take one for the team for that to happen.
He couldn’t put on and tie a pair a tennis shoes, much less play the sport.
Could we hit him with one of those magic powered shots from Mario tennis?
BOOOOOOOOO
This is the most boring slate of early games on an opening Sunday in quite some time.
Keep in mind my memory sucks
I’m debating going to the store to buy pants.
Please! God. NO!
Did you fall and hit your head?
Nothing is that bad, let’s talk about this first
Let’s not overreact here!
Clearly, you’re being held hostage and this is a way to signal us that you need help?
What did you do that got Lowratio that mad at you?
Tomlin Voodoo makes it’s 2025 debut.
How many innocent chickens had to die?
Enough.
I worked on a poultry farm in college.
There are no innocent chickens.
Please. They live for sacrifice. Ever see a hen in the rain? Exemplary chick protection.
The 2025 Stillers are Brady era P*ts calibre despicable. And equally prone to bullshit luck, it would seem
.https://youtu.be/-ZrrWj_y3Mc?si=PoBwkZMSI4jhcPsh
“Love this. I need more,”
-Unmitigated hatred mixed with trenchant analysis
surprised McDaniels isnt going for the charity FG to avoid a shutout
less than SEVEN minutes left in lolphins/clots
the got the running clock on the phins
Coming on Fox Sept. 16: 50 ways to catch a waistline
Just a reminder, the Colts Defensive Coordinator was the Bengals DC last year.
¡Palo +3 en Atlanta!
Younghoe the hero we don’t deserve, but NEED
On one hand it’s funny watching the dolphins fall apart.
On the other, colts fans don’t deserve nice things
DOINK! in Atlanta
Bengals got a 4th Down Stop? We can do that?!
THESE COLTS I CALL THEM THE JAPANESE SCHOOL LUNCH PROGRAM BECAUSE THEY ARE DEVOURING ALL THE DOLPHINS
Banner?
So watching the Patriots game, (because there was a pitching change in the Yankees game), and I just learned that a “bull rush” is apparently getting stood up by the tackle, but then moving slightly to the side and tackling the QB as he runs towards you when the rest of the pocket collapses.
Colts been gifted with a 5th preseason game to get a good look at the 2nd stringers in action
..
thought Colts were lining up in victory formation there with 10 mins to go
Reasonable
Refs should invoke the Little League rule.
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
Yeesh
I think that’ll buff right out.
Baker really hoping for that promotion to pastry chef this year
His name is Bucky and he likes to fucky?
My name doesn’t rhyme with any curse words
I do kinda wish we could draft Shan’khlor in fantasy
Sure Miami losing 23-0, but did you see that $10,000 watch McD is wearing, and his shoes? We’re winning the drip game, baby!
I am told the drip is in the details.
That’s that ALPHA MIAMI LIFESTYLE LAMES !!
ELITE interception