Let’s Do This! Your First Full Slate of Games Open Thread

Hey, best of luck to everyone in both DFO fantasy leagues except for Ayo, who can rot in hell. (why yes, he is my opponent this week) JK, Ayo-may your freezer always remain cold. Let’s get at it.

To The Games!

Fins/Colts:

Two teams on the precipice but one of them is no longer under the thumb of a pill-addled nepo man. Was that harsh? (I think that may have been harsh) There’s enough talent there for both teams to get over the hump but I think both coaches don’t survive the season. Daniel Jones will play behind a somewhat competent offensive line since, since ever? It won’t make any difference though-he’s been ruined in a way that only David Carr can truly understand.

Cards/Saints:

Wait a sec. Shouldn’t this unwatchable tilt be hidden in the late slate? Easier to hide it here? Ah, I get it now. New Orleans will be in QB hell all season, having to rely on Rattler or rookie Shough to guide them after Derek Carr’s retirement. I can’t see them getting to 4 wins.

Raiders/Pats:

Of all the second-year QB’s in the league, it seems that no one is under more pressure to succeed than Maye. Belichick is long gone but organizational malaise is still apparent with respect to the wr spot. A washed Diggs is your answer? All starters less than 6′ and under 200 pounds? The only receiver room that might be worse is TA DA! them Raiders.

Steelers/Jets:

“Revenge Game” narrative rears it’s ugly head. But, but Rodgers’ base personality is ‘petty dipshit’ though. It’s funny to me that Green Bay finally drafted a wr in the first round after Aaron left and that Pitt traded away Pickens as well. It’s as though GM’s unconsciously want The Precious One to fail.

Giants/Commies:

Welp, we’ll find out early how New York is going to fare in their division. If Daniels takes another leap forward in his progress the entire league will be on notice, never mind the NFC East. He is well-suited, given his running ability, to deal with the Giants pass rush so I can’t see Washington losing here.

Panthers/Jags:

Usually an afterthought, this is my pick for under-rated game of the day. The O/U sits at 46.5 as the defenses will struggle all year long and the respective offenses could be sneaky good.

Bengals/Browns:

Love that Cincy offense but that D will make too many games too close to call. Will Cleveland be the first team to dress 4 QB’s once Watson comes back? Make it happen, Browns.

Bucs/Falcons:

I think there’s a wild card spot available to each of the teams here so this tilt has outsized importance for the participants. Don’t sleep on that Tampa offense if Mayfield can continue on the path he forged last year.

Give me all of your good stuff.

 

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Gumbygirl

Yeeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhh!

fleshwound_NPG

TOMLIN BULLSHIT!

Senor Weaselo

Tomlin bullshit vs. Same old Jets? Inevitable.

Gumbygirl

The finest bullshit!

Redshirt

Just your normal win.

LemonJello

16 more to go.

/lights a candle and prays for Redshirt

Col. Duke LaCross

The Redzone crew is fucking rusty.

Doktor Zymm

Spot on with the Colts tho

Gumbygirl

Ok, THAT was voodoo!

Gatoraids

Jimmy proud of Penix with hat first down

comment image

Redshirt

Brocky

Do you taste copper.

Talk to us buddy

Mr. Ayo

ELITE interception!

Don T

Receiver’s Frog Hands gotta be an INT substat.

litre_cola

Oh Browns. Never change

Gatoraids

–Neil Armstrong

LemonJello

IT’S FLACCO TIME!!!

2 minutes to shine.

Redshirt

I’m in Hell.

litre_cola

Been drinking with DFOers for 4 days? Me too.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Say hi to Kissinger for me!

Brocky

And there it is. Someone on social media saying the bears should have kept Justin fields

fleshwound_NPG

tbf, he would’ve gotten them another tank for another first overall pick

Doktor Zymm

How long before this Szmith kid is deported?

Gatoraids

think his performance is warranting a cabinet position

Don T

/South Sudan BBQ Express van parks in lot

Gatoraids
Tariffs boosting the Factory of Sadness
Beerguyrob

Counter protester to the usual Jesus freaks outside.

IMG_1205
Mr. Ayo

Syzmt not only needs a vowel, he’s going to need a new job too.

Don T

He’s gonna get a bowel movement inside his locker

SonOfSpam

Cleveland’s kicker (Zzyzx I think) is costing them this game and lol

Horatio Cornblower

comment image

Just get him to say his name backwards and you can void his contract.

Col. Duke LaCross

Pauls gonna Paul.

Redshirt

SHANK’LOR!!!!

LemonJello

SHAN’KHLOR is not fucking around this season.

Don T

Oh my god cleveland.

Brocky

football game unrelated

Gatoraids

ZACH WILSON ALERT HIDE YOUR MOM

fleshwound_NPG

hi zach

milfhunterdude
Horatio Cornblower

I have decided not to purchase pantaloons today, but will wait for the rain to end and walk the dog instead.

But I am doing some actual work.

Redshirt

Bengals Offensive Line just folded like a bunch of cards!

Mr. Ayo

Myles Garrett: Pretty good

Redshirt

Director: “Cut the feed! Cut the feed!”

Horatio Cornblower

Love to see that fat fuck play a set of tennis.

Gumbygirl

No you wouldn’t , it’s gross.

1000007741
BugEyedBoo

Goddamn. Thanks for sharing.

Gumbygirl

Sorry! And for the hat, soUrry!

Horatio Cornblower

Coutnerpoint, he’d almost certainly have a heart attack, and I’m willing to take one for the team for that to happen.

LemonJello

He couldn’t put on and tie a pair a tennis shoes, much less play the sport.

Brocky

Could we hit him with one of those magic powered shots from Mario tennis?

Senor Weaselo

BOOOOOOOOO

Brocky

This is the most boring slate of early games on an opening Sunday in quite some time.

Keep in mind my memory sucks

Horatio Cornblower

I’m debating going to the store to buy pants.

Gumbygirl

Did you fall and hit your head?

Doktor Zymm

Nothing is that bad, let’s talk about this first

Mr. Ayo

Let’s not overreact here!

LemonJello

Clearly, you’re being held hostage and this is a way to signal us that you need help?

What did you do that got Lowratio that mad at you?

WCS

Tomlin Voodoo makes it’s 2025 debut.

Doktor Zymm

How many innocent chickens had to die?

WCS

Enough.

Horatio Cornblower

I worked on a poultry farm in college.

There are no innocent chickens.

Don T

Please. They live for sacrifice. Ever see a hen in the rain? Exemplary chick protection.

King Hippo

The 2025 Stillers are Brady era P*ts calibre despicable. And equally prone to bullshit luck, it would seem

Gatoraids

surprised McDaniels isnt going for the charity FG to avoid a shutout

fleshwound_NPG

less than SEVEN minutes left in lolphins/clots

the got the running clock on the phins

Don T

Coming on Fox Sept. 16: 50 ways to catch a waistline

Redshirt

Just a reminder, the Colts Defensive Coordinator was the Bengals DC last year.

Don T

¡Palo +3 en Atlanta!

King Hippo

Younghoe the hero we don’t deserve, but NEED

Brocky

On one hand it’s funny watching the dolphins fall apart.

On the other, colts fans don’t deserve nice things

LemonJello

DOINK! in Atlanta

Redshirt

Bengals got a 4th Down Stop? We can do that?!

Doktor Zymm

THESE COLTS I CALL THEM THE JAPANESE SCHOOL LUNCH PROGRAM BECAUSE THEY ARE DEVOURING ALL THE DOLPHINS

Gumbygirl

Banner?

Horatio Cornblower

So watching the Patriots game, (because there was a pitching change in the Yankees game), and I just learned that a “bull rush” is apparently getting stood up by the tackle, but then moving slightly to the side and tackling the QB as he runs towards you when the rest of the pocket collapses.

Gatoraids

Colts been gifted with a 5th preseason game to get a good look at the 2nd stringers in action

Redshirt

..

IMG_1859
Gatoraids

thought Colts were lining up in victory formation there with 10 mins to go

Doktor Zymm

Reasonable

Gumbygirl

Refs should invoke the Little League rule.

Redshirt

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

IMG_1858
Gumbygirl

Yeesh

LemonJello

I think that’ll buff right out.

Doktor Zymm

Baker really hoping for that promotion to pastry chef this year

King Hippo

His name is Bucky and he likes to fucky?

Brocky

My name doesn’t rhyme with any curse words

Doktor Zymm

I do kinda wish we could draft Shan’khlor in fantasy

Wakezilla

Sure Miami losing 23-0, but did you see that $10,000 watch McD is wearing, and his shoes? We’re winning the drip game, baby!

King Hippo

I am told the drip is in the details.

WCS

That’s that ALPHA MIAMI LIFESTYLE LAMES !!

Mr. Ayo

ELITE interception