Monday Funday? What the hell? No one has ever said that before-just ask Brenda Spencer. Let’s get down to business.
Fallout:
-I do like this column by the bravest of the brave sports scribblers Mark Shofield-“The NFL’s Goal Line Fumbling Epidemic Needs To Stop Now”. Good god.
-Jerrah With The Finger in MetLife Stadium: Worst game of Clue ever or the sad story of an 82 year-old man that is losing his impulse control slowly but surely? You decide.
-The Sidewinder Sleeps Well Tonight: Spencer Rattler got his first win as a starter yesterday! His record stands at 1-10.
-Sneaky Pick For Wild Card Berth: I’ll go with…Carolina? Yes, they’re 2-3. Yes, they were blown out by the Pats. But they did blow out the Falcons and have scored 34 more points than they have this early in the season. And they showed some spunky moxie by coming back vs the Fins. Yeah, Miami’s a disaster but a previous iteration of the Panthers would have just rolled over.
-Is the entire sports media pulling for Jameis Winston to be traded to Cincy? I count McAfee, Floria, Eisen, Scheffter and Rappaport-and that’s just the bigger names. Talk about trying to wish things into reality so that they can say they were right.
To The Game!
Chiefs/Jags:
-To no one’s surprise K.C. has won eight straight in this series.
-How are the Jags 3-1? They already have 13 takeaways so far (only 8 all of last season) and that’s a lot of opportunities to put extra points on the board, even for a middling offense.
-That middling offense features a Prison Girlfriend that has hit on 1 of 11 throws over 25+ yards. Do you see the same cracks that I do?
-Hunter’s usage seems a bit wonky. On the defensive side he had but 6 on opening day and then 43 the two following weeks and then 9 last week. Seems odd? Maybe it’s situational? Swinging back and forth that much just doesn’t feel right.
-The Chiefs scored 37 points last week for the first time in two years-can they approach that number again? Seems like everyone is pining for that K.C. team that scored when they felt like it.
It’s all you now.
Weak sauce on number 80 running him down but not being able to make the tackle.
DUUUUUUVVVVBAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL¡!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!¡!!!!!
Jax off!
Ruh oh
Did… did that happen?
WHAT
SUDDEN CHANGE!
Hear that rumble? That’s the Jello household.
dennis Miller callback:
Andy Reid still has the time management call sheet from Philly, inspired by Zeno of Elea.
If Trevor Lawrence wasn’t a pro football player, he’d be the guy sitting in a laundromat at 2 in the morning with his hand down his pants while the other one held a day old chili cheese dog
Have you ever seen his brother?
Just looked him up, he’d be hiding in the dryer waiting to snatch a toddler and go to his underground lair.
Anyone else watching the Manningcast? Because I really thought they said Ina Garten was coming in next, guess Heidi Gardner makes more sense.
maybe closer thanksgiving
Damn it, Mahomes and Lawrence. You’re paid to throw the TDs not score them yourself!
Exactly
Uf. We has game
a game?!
Are we sure Lawrence isn’t a double agent or something? Because the evidence in this past half is suspect.
Two Worthy touchdowns please and thank you.
Kelce or GTFO
I’m being made to attend a party this weekend with my wife’s uber-Trump, super Christian, completely out of touch side of the family.
Expect a boots on the ground post once I sober up.
https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/f8aac763-dfa2-4917-832e-1a76e3e5d4be
No, no, no, the only real option is to live stream the entire thing.
Then we can’t tell the judge Fozz was with us during the hours his in-laws were being filleted! Do I need to think of everything?!
Spanish never fails to enliven activities. “Me cago en” is a customary introduction.
The important thing is that you bring multiple copies of Trump’s friendship letter to Epstein, you can write birthday greetings on them or something.
I like Lisa Salters as the stern librarian.
“Never took you for a Dewey Decimal System stan [😉, leans against imaginary column]”
Chevy commercial using a classic New Order song, nice.
Anyone else have this when they were a kid?
Pretty sure the gray one in the middle was my Social Sciences teacher
The caveman figures were my favorite, along with the Ankylosaurus, cause Jesus rode one in the Bible. True Story
Luke 13: 22-25
I did and we found a set off Craigslist for current kids
I was only allowed to play with a 50’s era electronic football game because my parents didn’t want me to grow up having more and better toys than them.
If I never hear another song by Elton John or David Bowie I’d be happy.
https://youtu.be/Dh8RDktOdnc?si=M-1ZcsJD3U-8mFnK
Back from watching beisbol, I see I didn’t miss much.
Ok whether or not Hunter practiced with the offense, he should know the mouth guard only works if it’s actually in your mouth.
Same sort of speech Desean Watson gives at the massage parloUr.
Like the Dr. Mrs. and the chin strap on her bike helmet!
Monken watching this game:
“Three plays in and the runs not working? WHY AREN’T THEY PASSING ON EVERY DOWN?”
I just had to be cute and added JAX +3.5 to my KC win / OVER parlay.
Well I’m at 4% to win FF with only K Hunt as playing tonite. Wanted to start Charles Manson, but got no skin on the Purgatory league.
Long Khunt run wooo! MOAR KHUNT
Break out the VAR: Vision by Angstrom Readings
I thought it was touchdown.
Absolutely not a touchdown
Prison Girlfriend doing DUUUUVVVVAAAALLLLL things….
Oh Jaggywars
The totally made up estimate for the return of electricity is 1 am EDT, this game doesn’t seem worth draining my phone battery for so I guess it’s glowing Kindle booky-book for me!
I shall read while listening to the gentle serenade of the UPSes beeping to each other
Maybe they planned it all.
It’s the Mid-Autumn Festival tonight and Senorita Weaselo’s birthday tomorrow. Moon cake and birthday cake abound!
That’s enough out of you Travis.
I realized that being a fan of a shit team is like being single amongst a group of friends with girlfriends. Cause in the beginning you’re like, “Eh, she’s ok. Maybe a 6.” Then you’re single for awhile and you look at her and say, “Damn! She’s hot.”
This explains why I was saying the same thing about the Bengals yesterday.
That’s how it starts…
jaguras gonna make me watch dirtball packers/bears at this rate
LMAO
i watched assault on precinct 13, and there’s a young actor in the first few scenes, so i’m hating on her cause she’s annoying, then in the next scene she gets completely blown away. it made me feel bad.
Both versions are pretty awesome. Intense at times, even.
I watched the original, it was intense. I noticed that the tough guy who tried to jump start the car played a minor role in “Stir Crazy.” Yet, I can’t remember my chidlrens’ birthdays.
The power has cut out in the whole area around my parents’ house, so it seems Pepco does NAWT want me to watch this game
So today I was informed, by the office goody two shoes, that mentioning one of the furloughed employees on a call could get me fired. I was like, ‘that motherfucker was the one who emailed me, he’s a grown ass man, he should know the rules.’
Seriously, this woman should be shoved up a fireplace in the dead of winter.
They’re just furloughed, they haven’t been picked up by the NKVD…. yEt!
She’s annoying as shit.
It dawned on me that we’re going to have the legendary one-point safety in one of the international games and the refs may ragequit then and there.
Lovely punting so far #Watchable
fierce punting
a QB that does not know where the line of scrimmage is
a coach that would rather be at the BBQ joint than the game
one team is on their 4th coach in just a handful of years
nice college game
High kickin’!
Low scoring!
And ties? You bet!
The Ravens aren’t playing tonight
.
Evenin’. Been going the last two days with a drink der folks drank in the 70s: whisky* with a big splash of milk and ice. Boy, that packs an undercover wallop.
* cheap whisky, but TARIFF whisky nonetheless
OLDER folks. Stupid inevriation
I’d drink that minus the milk.
Wait, doesn’t the milk curdle?
My sister’s boyfriend, ages ago, was bartending in part of the city with a black clientele.
The first time he was asked for scotch and milk, he said to the guy, “you gotta be kidding me.”
🤣🤣
“Whisky, eh? Interesting, but I’m more of a traditionalist.”
I need Worthy to outscore Kelce and Khunt and I’ll win in my money league.
I need 13 in a PPR from Worthy
pretty chill last 24 hours for philly sports, imo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85Ekaic9IiY
Tip to The Rat King of Nahlins.
That song always makes me happy!
Alright, I’m going into tonight up 9 points, I’ve got Kelce and my opponent has Better Mahomes and Gardens. How much am I going to lose by?
Alot cause I have a rolling death squad in the stands keeping an eye on that douchebag
I 100 percent want Jameis in Cincy. It would be a beautiful roller coaster.
Week 7: 425 yards passing
Week 8: 5 INT’s
/it is written
and will STILL finish above baltimore somehow
With 425 yards passing
My brain says Winston. My heart says Dalton. My ass, it’s gonna be Wilson.
“Swinging back and forth that much just doesn’t feel right.”
Hey, we all play the cards we’re dealt, OK?
-D. Favre
Pre-op trans on why they want the surgery.
Would that be Brett?
I am verklempt about Young’s performance yesterday. Based on his September regression-to-his-shitty-mean (plus, you know, still teeny), I had written him off completely. But he fought like a scalded dog (please do not scald any dogs at home, Mr. Vick), and you see how that’s the kind of dude teammates would go to war for.
Hold me scotchy, I’s scared.