An Appreciation of The Revolution and JV NFL Pseudo-Bye Week

Before we get to the footy, I just want to highly, HIGHLY recommend Ken Burns’ The Revolution (streaming free on PBS).  It doesn’t pay short shrift to the moral shortcomings of 18th century America, but it also (maybe especially so, since it doesn’t come off as hagiography – FFS, they even prominently include a LIMEY historian smgdh) vividly demonstrate why we keep fighting for both the nation and the idea that is the United States of America.  I was born here, I will die here.  The people who left so much blood in the soil to make both idea and nation happen? I won’t surrender their sacrifice to the fascists.  No matter the cost.

Also, the International Break is over, and huzzah for that.  But yeah, I understand giving the early morning feature (White Lives Matter v. Chelski, 7:330, USA) a miss.

We get a little Clubhouse intrigue at 10:00, with yeah right’s Cherries taking on Fronk’s Rum Ham (USA).  Trashbirds/Praise Beesus is a viable streaming alternative for one’s second screen.  Barcodes against City of Men (12:30, NBC) are in the spotlight, and hopefully Eddie Howe’s struggles continue and the Geordie Arabians spiral into the depths.  Probably not, though.

With no Euro-fixture in NFL terms, we get a tasty North London Derby (Spurs away to Gooners/King’s Afrikan Water Pistols, 11:30 on Peacock) to carry us into RedZone glory.  Everton go into Men Untied (PHRASING!) on MNF, but ain’t nobody want to see that.

Thank fuck we move to 9 SEC game schedule next season (PPPPAAAAWWWWLLLLLLL), because this “bye week” shit is embarrassing.

Missouri (+6.5) at Steerfuckers North (Noon, ABC)

Don’t go sucking each others’ pricks just yet, Okiehoma.  There is work left to do before that playoff ticket is validated.  This could be interesting, and will almost assuredly be physical and low-scoring.

Louisville (+2.5) at Death By SMU-SMU (Noon, ESPN2)

Not a whole lot to choose from, in terms of a flipping option.  But the Ponies could easily make the ACC title game for the 2nd time in two tries (despite a pretty shambolic non-conference performance).  That would amuse Hippo, so here ya go.

Troi Boiz (+10.5) at Quack Attack (3:30, CBS)

Your classic B1G matchup, amirite??  At least CBS gets a non-awful game this week (though still laughing about the Paedo/Sparty shitburger they ate).  Everyone will stop trying to shoehorn SC into the playoff mix once they get their shit pushed in here.

Kenfucky (+8.5) at Vanderbilt (3:30, ESPN)

Have the hunters truly become the hunted?  Lots of commentators foresee the Blue Moons fucking up Team Pavia’s Quixotic playoff quest – and yeah, they could get caught looking ahead to the Vols next weekend.  But I am not one of those.  It could be close, but I expect the ‘Dores to win.

Pirate Kansas (+8.5) at Steerfuckers South (3:30, ABC)

Can you believe the line is under 10 here?  That said, the Fightin’ Petrinos (REDUX) have been a tough out since he took over.  They just, you know.  Don’t NEVAR win none.

Unded Bill Snyders (+17.5) at Team Secular Big Love (4:00, ESPN2)

K State needs one of their last two to make a December exhibition, but the Utes have been quite the prototypical Flat Track Bully.  Outside of their two (respectable) losses, they have mostly flattened their opponents, especially in recent weeks.  Too bad it is very unlikely they can squeak into the Twaaaallllvvvve championship game, since TT and Original Recipe each hold head-to-head tiebreaker.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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scotchnaut

THIS NOTRE DAME TEAM UP 56-0 i CALL THE EINSATZGRUPPEN BECAUSE THEY HAVE THEIR FOOT ON THE GAS.

Redshirt

Actually, they’ve let up. At one point, they were on pace to win 140-0.

blaxabbath

It’s chilly today. Wet. I busted out the fireplace last night and fell asleep in front of it on the couch. May shoot for that again tonight.

This ORE USC game sucks. If have to have money on this game to care.

yeah right

Sounds lovely.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s so wonderfully nice and quiet around here.

Oh! I forgot to mention that my thumb-bashing paid off, as the trap caught a *huge* rat last night. It was even better than usual because the rat wasn’t *in* the trap, he was dead a few inches away. So I didn’t even have to mess around with the trap; all I had to do was grab the corpse and put it in a package that I FedExed to Marjorie Taylor Green to remind her to keep her mouth shut about what she read in the Epstein Files!

Mr. Ayo

Woot! Go Cats! Eat shit Griz!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

RTD: Grok, could Elon Musk drink an entire lake of piss?

GROK: Of course, Elon has the largest capacity…

RTD: [interrupting]…but the lake is named Lake Elon?

https://www.pcgamer.com/software/ai/grok-ai-temporarily-so-sycophantic-it-claims-elon-musk-is-the-best-at-drinking-pee-and-other-things-im-not-going-to-put-in-a-headline-you-cant-make-me/

scotchnaut

Believe it or not, this popped up on my YT feed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaOlPhdhsRY

BrettFavresColonoscopy

But is it a sandwich?

WCS

Believe it or not,

You’re walking on air?

Redshirt

This is why I always YouTube scroll on Incognito. You click on one weird video and the feed’s scarred for life. I clicked on one Chess video, and now every third video is something Chess related.

scotchnaut

Every third Chess video makes a hard man humble.

Senor Weaselo

Did they want you to sacrifice THE ROOOOOOOOK??

yeah right

I read this earlier in the week. It’s one of the best longform pieces I’ve read in a long time and it perfectly captures the brotherhood of metalheads.

Being a metalhead it fucking SPOKE to me.

A solid read.

https://www.hcn.org/issues/57-11/heavy-metal-is-healing-teens-on-the-blackfeet-nation/

Redshirt

The Simpsons – Stop, he’s already dead – YouTube

Live look at Syracuse vs. Notre Dame.

Redshirt

35-0 End of 1st with ND having a 3rd & Goal on the 1. We may see three-digits thrown on the scoreboard today, if the Irish is so inclined.

yeah right

Holy shit, the Oregon marching band was playing Master of Puppets.

Fuck your Seven Nation Army.

Redshirt

Nah, the remaining two legs on my “What the Hell, Its a $15 Free Bet” Parlay is Oregon -8.5 and Utah -15.5. Rooting for Oregon is going to make my stomach queasy and my eyes achy.

WCS
Redshirt

FUCK YOU TOUCHDOWN! PRAISE GAMBLOR!

blaxabbath

On an article about the Cardinals going for a QB reclamation project next year.

Which, to me, is what Kyler Murray is and you’ve already got him under [a suffocating] contract!

1000023309
yeah right

Fans got their priorities.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’M GOIN’ TO SCOTTSDALE, BABY!

Redshirt

TV: [makes jokes about former Penn State Head Coach kissing babies]

Me: “Oh, come on, ESPN. That’s too easy!”

Redshirt

Of course, Miami is the one to Garbage Time my Parlay to death.

Redshirt

C’mon, Hurricanes. Score a fuck-you-Touchdown. You know you want to..

Redshirt

Remember the Pass Interference Call that Cost you the ’02 Championship!
Remember Convicts vs. Catholics!
Future Remember your hot future ex-girlfriends that’s going to divorce you and take half your money for a balding middle-management pencil pusher from Georgia!

Damn it, worth a shot.

Last edited 3 months ago by Redshirt
Redshirt

If only I could use this power consistently instead of sporadically.

Last edited 3 months ago by Redshirt
scotchnaut

Ain’t no better time to order a #ShameTaterTotCasserole.

blaxabbath

Walmart is selling those for Christmas dinner. $60.

The War on Christmas is over! Affordability is back!

WCS
Gumbygirl

Holee shit, what is happening in the ‘ham?

WCS

The Trent Dilfer Experience!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I thought getting stabbed is the Mark Sanchez experience now.

Gumbygirl

They finally fired his dumb ass a few weeks ago. I blame Governor Meemaw and Senator ( barf) Tuberville.

WCS

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Mr. Ayo

Woah! Can’t wait to hear the details.

blaxabbath

Dude’s just finishing up his medical internship for the Chargers.

Redshirt

I would’ve bet real non-Internet money that it would’ve been the Bengals who would’ve stabbed a bitch dead.

BeefReeferLives

All the Okies have “UNITY” on their nameplates.

I do suppose being part of a hive mind would make for cohesive team play…

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scotchnaut

Ms. Mitford is smiling from the beyond as we speak.

Horatio Cornblower

Sunderland lose, Man City loses. Huge chance for Arsenal. Can’t wait to see how they bollocks it up tomorrow.

scotchnaut

For those of you that want to cross “Eating Bologna Salad” off your bucket list but don’t want to spend a lot of money, here’s an ‘affordable’ version.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9jTv4WH9pI

SonOfSpam

If regular Bologna Salad is too expensive, I’d suggest eating your own hand.

Gumbygirl

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scotchnaut

This girl ain’t fooling around-she probably elbowed three other grandmothers to the ground in the deli aisle when she realized that Oscar Meyer’s bologna was on sale.

BeefReeferLives
Last edited 3 months ago by BeefReeferLives
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This exists, and yet SNAP is considered too much of an extravagance for poor and hungry Americans.

Redshirt

If this Ohio State teams shows up next Saturday in Ann Arbor, Hail the Victors will be playing a lot.

Redshirt

Ohio State just took their Starting QB out for two plays, including a failed 4th Down conversion bailed out by BLEERGH.

While I appreciate my alma mater for getting me prepared for the Zac Taylor Experience, for the sake of the point spread, please stop farting around and murderdeathkill the Scarlet Knights.

Redshirt

White House posts photo of JD Vance at Saudi dinner with ‘strange stain on his chest’

That must’ve been one seductive couch he was eye-balling to sweat like that.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This feels like bait to me, like I’m supposed to mock Couchfucker for spilling something on his shirt at a formal dinner and it will get the redhats to accuse me of being “elitist” and rally around his couch-fucking weirdo ass instead of confronting the grim reality that Trump is a pedophile who is running the American economy into the ground.

blaxabbath

It’s true.

scotchnaut

Wife and I have begun volunteering at the local community center which is still viable despite serving a population of maybe 2500 folks. Last night we made about 300 sandwiches. Now, there’s a template that must be followed and among the most popular are Bologna Salad and Cheez Whiz/Egg Salad Double Deckers.

Older Woman: “And one of the benefits of volunteering is that if there’s any left over you can take them home!”

Me: [under my breath] “To burn in the fireplace?”

Redshirt

Whoever puts Cheez Whiz on my Egg Salad goes to the hospital. No jury would convict me.

Redshirt

Looks like something my dad passed after he downed a whole bottle of Magnesium Citrate for constipation.

thumbnail-Bologna-Salad-scaled
scotchnaut

[drives to Ohio, grabs Redshirt’s laptop, throws it into the nearest lake]

Horatio Cornblower

/Lake catches on fire

Redshirt

East Fork Lake mutates into a Flaming Bologna Salad Monster. Ohio National Guard unable to be called in due to raiding a Home Depot in Southeast Arizona.

Senor Weaselo

This would of course be after you have to go to the hospital for ingesting such a thing.

herodotus450

I think you can sprinkle those around the yard to keep the racoons away

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Me: [under my breath] “To burn in the fireplace?”

Ha ha, silly scotchnaut, she was talking about leftover sandwiches, not leftover vagrants!

Redshirt

…and the Buckeye Fox’s Pregame show did a special on had his elbow ded on him. Not like Daniels, but enough for his trochlear notch to vibrate very hertz higher than usual.

litre_cola

The Arabian gang war in Northern England is real entertaining. Just waiting on the Viking to land a punch. Or the mustached Kraut.

Mr. Ayo

BRAWL OF THE WILD (#3 U of Montana (+3.5) vs #2 Montana St) (2:00, ESPN+)

The most important game of the day to determine which squadron will be on the opposite side of the playoff bracket from ND.

litre_cola

One day I will go down there.

SonOfSpam

Oh hey, part 2 of Olivia Nuzzi cucking Ryan Lizza just dropped. An excerpt about RKF Jr:

He continued, “I mean to squeeze your cheeks to force open your mouth. I’ll hold your nose as you look up at me to encourage you to swallow. ‘Dont spill a drop’. I am a river You are my canyon. I mean to flow through you. I mean to subdue and tame you. My Love.”
I can’t say there weren’t any signs. I did find it odd that Olivia was simultaneously reading Robert Greene’s The Art of Seduction and Maureen Callahan’s Ask Not: The Kennedys and the Women They Destroyed. But the poem—let’s call it “American Canyon”—and many others, too explicit to print, changed everything. (Thanks to Bobby, I am now aware of something called felching.)

Redshirt

Anyone else just threw up in their mouth a little?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah I just updated my chore list for the weekend (I’m the protocol droid).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjkw9QaQXhk

Last edited 3 months ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
scotchnaut

[throws laptop into lake, takes long walk in the woods, hoping to be attacked by wolves]

Redshirt

🤮

IMG_0054
Senor Weaselo

If I’ve learned anything from xkcd, that’s a Winnipeg thing.

BeefReeferLives

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Redshirt

A huge thank you to Rutgers for handing back the momentum we lost by going for it on 4th & 1 on their own 35.

SonOfSpam

62 years ago, we lost a president and a Kennedy.

I’d settle for either today.

yeah right

Pretty fun to get a Shelter in Place warning at almost midnight last night.
Told me to “close all windows, lock all doors and turn off air conditioning” as well.

They towed the burning container ship out past the break water a few hours later.

Barely exciting.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s awesome that jjfozz is piloting ships now; I had thought his career in the maritime industry was kaput.

Redshirt

Joe Burrow will NOT be activated for tomorrow. It turns out playing a limited player with a foot owie twice in four days is a very bad idea.

Last edited 3 months ago by Redshirt
BeefReeferLives

Well, now what are you going to do with those zip ties?

Brick Meathook

Not my photo and not my boat although probably the same ship class.

This is a torpedo room.

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Gumbygirl

No poopysuits?

litre_cola

Huzzah you Mexican beauty!!!!!

/could also have been uttered by BC Dick last week

ballsofsteelandfury

Do we have a body count?

litre_cola

A gentleman never reveals his secrets, or his brother in laws.

Fronkenshteen

Saturday Gravy tastes decidedly bitter.

Fronkenshteen

I have a feeling those two points might be dearly missed come springtime. Why park the bus like that for the whole 2nd half?!

Horatio Cornblower

Hell of a save there to keep it even.

Fronkenshteen

Agreed. Don’t know how he even saw enough to stick a leg out at it.

yeah right

I’ll take the one, thanks.

Fronkenshteen

You should have had all 3. Terrific 2nd half.

yeah right

Hell of a game.

scotchnaut

/I giggled thinking of this Robert Caro interview

Student Newspaper Reporter: “So Mr. Caro, it says here you’re a biographer-who have you written about?”

Caro: “Well, my focus has been on Lyndon Johnson.”

SNR: “Huh. Anyone else?”

Caro: “I did a little something on Robert Moses.”

SNR: “Never heard of him. So, just the two guys then? Nothing else?”

Caro: ….

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Horatio Cornblower

AND HERE COME THE CHERRIES!!!

-All the cool kids, whenever me and the rest of the Debate Club strolled into the high school cafeteria

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I haven’t seen someone who was so interested in debate and such a vivid representation of the color red since…

Brick Meathook

Are you guys out of fucking minds?

Because I know that I am.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m into fucking butts…

litre_cola

BC Dick received his Keychain in Vallarta

ballsofsteelandfury

Sweet!

scotchnaut

/checking in on Sillycuse basketball

Squeaked by a feisty (I assume) Monmouth squad? That’s good!

Next tilt they’re being offered up as fodder to #2 Houston? That’s bad.

litre_cola

Just fucking relegate us now. Let Silva walk at the end of the season, sell our young assets, lather, rinse, repeat.

Redshirt

Big Noon Kickoff is in Cincinnati for #11 BYU? Isn’t that like holding a State Dinner before the condemned walks the Green Mile?

Horatio Cornblower

Figthin’ Horatios go for win #9 today against mighty FAU!

You know what that means!! A chance to defend our Fenway Bowl title!!

And also losing millions and millions of dollars on the football program. Again.

Horatio Cornblower

I do not agree that sacrificing the old Big East on the altar of football was, in fact, “worth it”

ballsofsteelandfury

Lowratio has a pretty good union. I’m sure his medical plan covers that.

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Redshirt

Let’s see:

  • #1 ranking.
  • Playing at Home.
  • 29.5-point favorites.
  • Michigan is next week who had their number and lunch money four years running.
  • Play against a team so imaginary they make the Texans look faintly actual.

Yeah, if this doesn’t scream TRAP GAME for Ohio State, nothing will.

Horatio Cornblower

They’ll win by 34

Redshirt

Yeah, probably right, but the biggest wildcard is one immutable truth. After factoring in the history of my favorite teams, I figure I’m either the Sports Gods’ Punching Bag or their Urinal Cake. Or both.

Fronkenshteen

With as much rain as this place gets, how the hell did the Battle of Britain ever happen?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Now you’ve got me thinking I should look up the history of instrumental flight (i.e. the artificial horizon and all that). Or make jokes about JFK Jr., probably the latter.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ooh, someone’s already done it for me!

https://www.angelfire.com/oh2/dazzlindereksjokes/jfkjr.html

Horatio Cornblower

The wrong Jr. Kennedy was piloting that plane.

Horatio Cornblower

Truly amazing that a lineage descended from all around great guy Joe Kennedy turned out to be such a pile of shit.

Last edited 3 months ago by Horatio Cornblower
Redshirt

Absolute power and influence corrupt absolutely.

Last edited 3 months ago by Redshirt
scotchnaut

The offspring never stood a chance.

scotchnaut

Hopefully done by Robert Caro and he’s kept it under wraps for several decades.

/a guy can dream…

scotchnaut

#spiritanimal

scotchnaut

How did I not know until this very morning that Joan Jett covered “Love Is All Around”?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E81cTpcmkYo

Horatio Cornblower

Joan never met a 70’s song she couldn’t shred the hell out of.

Horatio Cornblower

Joan and I are also both big fans of Subarus.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

1000001687
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hüsker Dü did a version too!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ks0to2QuJtM

litre_cola

Dreary as fuck in West London. My buddy is at Tranmere Rovers v MK Dons as his season is over here. Real futbol.