Somewhere in Northern Ontario….
The old man grumbled. He said to himself, “What am I doing out here? This is why you have underlings!”

He muttered to himself but he knew deep down he had no choice. Some work you just had to do yourself. If you didn’t, that would mean double work and, quite frankly, this was already cutting into the Christmas celebrations. He couldn’t afford to waste more time
He parked and unloaded. It was about a 100 yards, but he was in decent shape and the load wasn’t too heavy. That’s what happens when the economy goes in the shitter. Everything becomes “lean”.
Why did he have to go into the office today of all days? I mean, there’s NFL football on the TV! And there are several games with playoff implications!
“Oh well. Might as well get on with it. The faster I do this, the faster I can get home and watch the games. Stupid work.”

TO THE GAMES!!
Bills at Browns
Much like our intro, this game is going to be a slaughter. The early line was Buffalo -10 but I think that’s generous. I say Buffalo by 21 with a guaranteed Cleveland injury. Maybe Shadeur, maybe someone in the defense. Just book the parlay.
Bengals at Dolphins
This is the “I’ve got no fucks left to give” Bowl. Both teams had their seasons ended in embarrassing fashion last week. What are they playing for? Pride? Nah. It’s all about incentive bonuses from now on. That’s why the Bengals will probably bench their starters at halftime…
Chiefs at Titans
Don T’s Glorious Tits get a golden opportunity to claim a victory over the “dynasty of the 2020s”. Yes, I know the dynasty is over, but it’s still something nice to put in the resume like the management certificate you got for attending a webinar and watching movies at the same time.
Jets at Saints
The Saints were pretty frisky last week in beating the Panthers. They should beat the Jets and give themselves a little ego boost. This will, of course, drop them in the draft order, so they clearly can’t have nice things because they touch themselves. And, honestly, who can blame them? Have you been to New Orleans strip clubs?
Chargers at Cowboys
Until last night, this was a game with playoff implications. The Chargers could have put Cowboys fans out of their misery once and for all this football season by beating the Boys in the Jerry Dome. As it is, the Eagles had that pleasure. As incentive for the Chargers, they must continue winning in order to have any chance at catching Denver for the division and the top seed in the AFC.
Vikings at Giants
The Vikes went through a rough patch but now they have McCarthy back and it looks like they are playing better. They are still eliminated from the playoffs. The Giants are actually in the same boat. They are eliminated but playing better. No one will watch this game. Not even Scotchy.
Bucs at Panthers
Here is the one game with major playoff implications. Both teams are tied atop the NFC South. Today’s outcome doesn’t provide final decisions, but it will give the winner a huge advantage. Remember these two teams play again in the last week of the season.
COMMENT AWAY!
Pickens!
Shoot I’m playing against DaAK in fantasy this week 😟
I love it when a long pass hits a really fast receiver perfectly in stride.
Good DOINK!
Found a funny:
ROOMMATE: hey what the hell happened to my corn
THE INVENTOR OF CREAMED CORN: pretty cool right
the vile mind that invented creamed corn needs to dug up and staked to ensure they stay dead.
FIGHT! FIGHT!
Don’t worry about me folks. Dallas my be disappointments but my beloved SA Spurs are looking legit. Castle is beast. They’re a fun team to watch.
We weren’t.
Insurmountable Lead in KC-TEN?
2-0?
And Minshew might be hurt
more useless zone from Eberflus. Double J needs to ask Michael Irvin to give Eberflus a “haircut”.
That was a pretty bullshit penalty on Carolina. And it took long enough to compose it. That much debate = let the boys play.
Seriously, at this point I would NEVAR try putting pressure on the kicker. There’s no way it’s anything but net-negative.
I’m a little baked right now, so yinz get to deal with my random musings..
Am I wrong in that Hopper from Stranger Things is going to the 2020s version of Phil Dunphy (Ty something) was the 2010s.
Jaxxon Dart wearing some serious bling
Insurmountable lead? Insurmountable lead.
also,
HAIL SHANK’LOR
Solid Doinkkkkkkk
https://bsky.app/profile/cjzero.bsky.social/post/3majenf5az22q
Fantasy football question:
Should I start WR Diggs (vs suspect Ravens Def) or Brian Thomas Jr (vs good Denver Def) ?
Leaning Diggs…
Follow your heart
🫡
Digg Up!
Couldn’t be just one guy, but a roomfull, like a clubhouse setting perhaps… this would be a concern.
Good God, how loud this made me laugh
“He’s got all day back there,” is an overused commentator cliche…
but…
Allen really did have all day back there, though.
Oh, right. Our defense sucks ass.
I didn’t realize Balls was on the Bengals D, but that makes a lot of sense
Uh, no. I’m pretty certain even Balls understand simple geometry and the experimental, top secret play of “HB Toss Off Tackle”.
Well he definitely understands the part about “tossing off”.
SHAD-D’OH!
Touchdown…Bengals….lead? Huh, haven’t seen that in a while.
Lookit Mike Evans doing all good after playing a key role in sinking my fantasy team!
I think they’re trying to get him 1k yards this season despite the injury
BLEERGH drops an early deuce in the Pauls’ stocking.
Throw Eberflus out of that box
-Overheard at an anonymous brothel
Joe Burrow is in full “F— it, doesn’t matter, I’m throwin’ it deep” mode.
I attend your meetings!
I follow your gameplan!
I trust your lineman!
Am NOT CRAZY!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoF_a0-7xVQ
We should update the badge!
Bills/Pauls will either slow down after this start and finish like 13-10; OR, we’re on the verge of a 44-37.
Pauls Defense seems amenable to the later.
The Dolphins are wearing the helmets with the dolphin wearing the little helmet!
That’s Rocking! 🐬 🏈
Obligatory
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrptLxy35V0
This is actually what Hell is. Just this forever.
The sounds makes it SO MUCH WORSE
What if that was the last thing you ever heard before either going deaf or just dying?
It also makes a lot of sense if you believe that dolphins are the ones who actually designed the human afterlife. As payback.
If a Fin player wears one of those big helmet hats? Does the Dolphin little helmet get the big helmet hat too?
this thing

I think they should a slightly alternate logo version of the concussion slip covers.
I’d like to see holograms get a shot.
Cowperson success that only hurts Draft positioning. Though I guess they don’t own the pick no MOAR? Still, it amuses.
Burrow is going to be great with Vikings. Smell you later Cincy!
I do look good in purple.
You would look banging in Black and Gold! So would Joe
At this point, I think the whole fanbase will go with Burrow wherever he goes.
The ones that are fully committed to masochism might stay
I think I’ve had my fill of masochism. I’m only human…
Death, Taxes and Joe Burrow being sacked in front of a confused Offensive Tackle standing over him
I’m liking those Saints unis
Same. Yea they’re kinda Rocking!
Manilla folder!
The Thrilla in Manila! Probably not so much Thrilla, Jest vs Aints. More like the Laffa in Jaffa, amirite?
Taysom fumbling up his first touch for the Saints is just so perfect…
& then the Jests being able to do fuck all with it is just
We’ll always have the Jets.
The Hashtag Pauls looked cromulent. That can’t last, right?
It was scary!
Dallas Staffer: “Here’s your booth Coach Eberflus”
Coach Eberflus: “Thanks, this will be a great view to call the game”
Coach Eberflus“What’s that ticking noise?”
Dallas Staffer: “Don’t worry about that countdown sound. Its just the air vent”
……………………
Dallas Staffer: “Ready sir”
Buffalo/pauls to remind the citizens where it all went wrong or clips/boys
the Dreary at the Erie
Buffalopauls won’t ya come out tonite….
Morning Folks.
God, I love it so much. The Kansas City Chiefs are facing the prospect of their easiest win of the season AND IT DOESN’T EVEN FUCKING MATTER! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Good. Embrase the madness. It makes things easier.
/no it doesn’t.
Washed my sheets and just finished making the bed. It’s nice to have sommet to look forward to.
Also, can’t believe Donks/Jaguras didn’t get flexed somewhere better than the 4:05 “local audience only” timeslot. This likely decides the muthafuckin’ 1 seed in the AFC!!!
Took out the trash and running the dishwasher, the two most essential tasks before going out of town for a couple weeks
Friend of mine in school’s dad accidently left raw chicken in the microwave before they went on summer vacation for a week. This was in the 90s, and they didn’t have central air conditioning.
They had to spend two nights at a hotel when they returned because the smell was just impressively horrid.
I assume they threw out the entire microwave
Throw out the entire kitchen.
Ewwwwwwwwwwww. My parents had a chest freezer in the garage, power went out while we were away. It was heaving with maggots. They threw the whole thing out. So fucking gross!
I’m going to do my big clean the day after Christmas. I’m not going up to Big Bear with the fam, the weather forecast is iffy, and I don’t want to leave my ancient cat alone. I am going to Vegas over the weekend, my SIL can come over and take care of Henry while I’m gone. My sister and nephew will be there. Two days of the nephew is all I can take, but I love my sister.
Seeing a lot of ads for Mr. Pibb lately. I’m sorry, but I insist that my weird-ass prune-flavored sodas have a doctorate.
I recall when my local convenience store started carrying “Pibb Xtra” in its fountain (where you could get like a 46-oz cup for 99 cents). \After the twins were born, I must have went there SOLELY FOAR THAT, like 5x a week for two or three years.
Man, do I miss having a metabolism.
Coke doesn’t have the Dr. anymore (owned by Keurig?!), so next man up
Mr.Pibb > Dr. Pepper. Pibb Xtreme is a failure.
Counterpoint: they are all disgusting.
Ha! I drove in whiteout conditions just yesterday.
You have some red stuff on your boots, just FYI.
I kinda figured…
Au contraire.
I will be watching Vikings Giants.
We’re running out of games over here.
Tell a muthafucka to THROW TO JEFFERSON today, please.
😢
This will totally jinx me but …
*whispers* I’m still in the ldb challenge.
(femur drums in the distance; ominous jingle bells ringing in the air)
Being a drummer adds a degree of difficulty
I usually survive since I’m an incorrigable recluse but this year I managed to get gotten.
Me too. Fucking Jimi Hendrix !
But enough about what Janis Joplin is doing in the afterlife…
Today is a meaningless game save for Draft Positioning; Joe Burrow is limping but starting and Tee Higgins is active one week after his second concussion in three weeks.
Will someone tell Zac his job is safe?!
I guess he is grinding up Burrow and Tee for the meat in his verrah special Xmas skyline chilli
What makes you think Skyline chili has meat in it?
Who would have thunk at the beginning of the season that Bucs/Panthers would be the most important of these games? Nothing against Baker, but think I am pro-kitties on this one.
Bet the Bears are having brunch and taking care of their post-improbable win hangovers this morning. Cole Kmet is a lifelong Bears fan who has played on the team since 2020 and this was his first home win against the Packers. Very nice Xmas prezzie!
New song cover for all y’all Stones fans:
Ground hobo!
How do ya taste so goooood?
Ground hobo!
Just like a fresh catch shoooouuuuuld
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Whooooo!
What should I have for lunch: Pizza, Skyline Chili, Ice Cream, Beer or whatever I find in the fridge?
YES – Clubhouse, in unison
I am fasting for tomorrow’s physical (ie, the weigh in part, to minimize the shame)
That’s me after the New Years. My cousin has a wedding in September and I’m pushing my record in weight.
Doc: “Hmmm…looks like you’ve lost a bunch of water.”
Hippo: [under breath] “How did he…?”
latest (900×633)
This is me tomorrow. Not Sunday, football is more important and cash is an acceptable gift.
…that was supposed to be today’s Garfield comic, but I guess the Grinch game early this year.
Was sitting around, waiting for the Stillers pregame to begin, thinking they’re running late…
Then I saw the game is a 16:30 kick.
Who else heard the lil “meow” upon seeing that gif?
Greetings, all! I am still hanging in there in the LDB Challenge, which frankly is better than I expected. Going to be a quiet holiday season, just making Beef Wellington for two on the 25th, and having another couple over on NYE. I’ve been mostly ignoring the NFL, which seems like the right call for a Dolphins fan. Though really that could have been said for the last several decades.
I’m still, somehow, in the LDB. Kids are home and being festive and we’ve been going out, so lotsa chances for elimination there. My family did change the song when the next one was to be LDB and I was about to enter that room. Maybe they do like me.
lookit Dunstan just casually announcing his NYE #FourOnTehFloor
Oooh, Beef Wellington! You are brave to attempt it. Make sure your duxelles are as dry as possible, to avoid the soggy pastry.
This will be the third time I’ve made it. First time I was lunatic enough to make my own puff pastry, which actually worked fine but was way too time-consuming.
That’s impressive. No sarcasm or joking; that shit’s a pain in like seven different asses.
To me, this is the new canon ending of Home Alone. Any objections?
‘SNL’: Ariana Grande channels Kevin McCallister for family reunion gone wrong
Hey Balls… The… Best… Christmas ad goin… Tezenis knows marketing.
V/O: “The Catholic Church. Pope Leo has made some changes.”
That’s wonderful!
Oh, fuck EVERYTHING.
Padre Weaselo is watching CBS Sunday Morning, their feature on Pentatonix just killed me in LDBC.
At least you have the J-E-S-T! to look forward to, amirite??
/goes into Witness Protection
(Witness Protection drops off King Hippo)
“Hi, Tzar Rhino! Welcome to Cincinnati! Here’s your Cheese Coney!”
Take two, they’re small.
Sister-in-Law is in a game where Wham’s “Last Christmas” takes the place of LDB.