Jan. 5th: The Day of The Winnowing

I guess by now you’ve heard the news about Morris, Stefanski, Carroll, Gannon, Kafka and McCoy. I think on Thursday, after more has cleared we’ll do a rundown of how other fellas managed to keep their employment going.

For now let’s do examine the draft order (just the top 8) and the advantages and disadvantages a wet-behind-the-ears rookie faces.

1. Raiders:

Advantage: The Vegas is your oyster and because you’re a QB you’ll get at least two years to develop.

Disadvantage: Does anyone in their bologna salad-loving mind think that Tom Brady is a competent team-builder at this point?

2. Jets:

Advantage: If you can make it here, under these circumstances, you’re likely a minor deity of some sort.

Disadvantage: Like any MAGA-ite, Woody will drop you to his level and there’s no coming back.

3. Cards:

Advantage: There’s a bit of talent on the O side and Kyler will likely be in the rear view mirror. (I mean, could you imagine him as a mentor?)

Disadvantage: Every level of this organization is incompetent and that’s nearly impossible to overcome.

4. Titans:

Advantage: Bits and pieces of talent are there and a QB with a year under his belt could make a considerable leap.

Disadvantage: Leadership at the owner level leaves a lot to be desired.

5. Giants:

Advantage: Ownership, while misguided, tends to be patient unless the coach has a meltdown.

Disadvantage: The press here is harder than pretty much anywhere else.

6. Browns:

Advantage: Cheap flights elsewhere?

Disadvantage: Really tough division to get a foothold in.

7. Commies:

Advantage: 2025 seemed like a one-year blip-everything is in place for a bounceback season in a weak and weakening division.

Disadvantage: The Stink of Snyder could be a legit thing.

8. Chiefs:

Advantage: Far less pressure to succeed in a well-run organization with quality coaching-you’ll find your way.

Disadvantage: You must get to the buffet table within the first ten minutes or it’s just scraps.

Tonight’s Viewing-

FCS D1 Thingy: Illinois State vs Montana State

World Jr Hockey Champeenship: Sweden vs Czechia

Do your thing.

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2Pack

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rockingdog

Found a funny:

Thinking about how Dilbert and Dogbert are also about to die

rockingdog

Still wild to me that the USA is producing the most amount of crude oil by any nation in any point of history

Seems Rocking!

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Last edited 2 months ago by rockingdog
rockingdog

Another chart

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WCS

That’s what happens when you suddenly “run” a member of OPEC.

Unsurprised

Literally, thanks Obama. Fracking put us over the top. All it cost was flammable drinking water and earthquakes in red states.

rockingdog

That’s a funny

Lmao

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’ve just left my first ever cricket match (as a spectator). AMA.

Doktor Zymm

Was it Twenty20 format?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Nope. Full test. The Ashes between England and Australia in Sydney.

Doktor Zymm

Oh neat! Were you there for the tea break? Did you drink tea during it?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I left at the tea break. What an awful concept.

Sharkbait

Do you have a commemorative “6” sign?

Doktor Zymm

And if so does it have a “4” on the other side?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yes.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I do not. Some people had fans with 6 on one side and 4 on the other. I didn’t get one.

SonOfSpam

How big were they?

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

What do you have if you’re holding one cricket ball in your left hand and another cricket ball in your right hand?

A huge fucking cricket.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

How are you still capable of speaking coherently? That’s not how live cricket is supposed to work.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I had 4 or 5 beers, a cider, and a ginger beer. I sweated it all out.

Senor Weaselo

Boots on the grounds!

Brick Meathook

I don’t know about that photo of a mountain of Skyline shredded cheddar cheese that gets posted here occasionally, but here’s a five-way Cincinnati chili from Hard Times Cafe in Old Town Alexandria VA, just outside DC. The “five-way” refers to spaghetti, chili, beans, cheese, and fine chopped white onion, and it’s pretty damn good. The chili is closer to a thick Bolognese sauce than a Texas chili (which Hard Times also serves) so it may shock chili purists, but fuck them. I hate food fascists. Put ketchup on your hot dog if you like it that way – it’s your hot dog.

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Doktor Zymm

I used to go to the one in College Park, I would usually get the chili bubba (the one that’s over corn bread)

Sharkbait

In “nobody cares about your beer league hockey team” news, the first game I played in a month ended up in a 4-4 tie. I got bailed out from allowing an atrocious 4th goal by my team.

Mr. Ayo

NEVER A DOUBT!

GO CATS GO!

SonOfSpam

Congrats on your team doing a good!

Gumbygirl

That was crazypants.

Gumbygirl

They’re crying in Missoula!

Doktor Zymm

I’ve started reading the Chief Inspector Gamache books. There’s 20 of them and they’re decently long although I’m already almost done with the 4th one. It’s so strange to me that there are people out there that make resolutions to read more, if you enjoy it how can you not?

Last edited 2 months ago by Doktor Zymm
blaxabbath

They just enjoy TV more.

Gumbygirl

Go Cats Go !!!

Horatio Cornblower

AYODOWN!!!!

Horatio Cornblower

That facemask is probably worth 45 yards.

SonOfSpam

Wheel of Fortune has a contestant named Tequila.

Doktor Zymm

Is the last name ‘Mockingbird’?

SonOfSpam

I think she said “Sonrhyze”

Horatio Cornblower

Montana State with two of the dumbest back-to-back plays you’ll ever see.

SonOfSpam

Admitting then graduating Mr. Ayo?

Horatio Cornblower

I can only imagine the rage with which he is seething right now.

Horatio Cornblower

BLOCKED!!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Okay, I finished reading Cloud Atlas. It was…

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SonOfSpam

1) Started off good, but fell off after chapter 28.3?
2) Easily sunburned?
3) Soulless?

BC Dick

Good but still mediocre?

Doktor Zymm

Giraffesque?

Horatio Cornblower

White?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

(pretty good)

Horatio Cornblower

The FCS Championship is quietly heading towards plaid status.

Horatio Cornblower

ESPN reporting that the Titans will interview Raheem Morris, if for no other reason than to shut those Rooneys up.

SonOfSpam

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Last edited 2 months ago by SonOfSpam
Redshirt

Update: The Militia has not been called up, but plans are being proposed.

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ballsofsteelandfury

OMG I LOVE BENGALS FANS!!

Horatio Cornblower

Well at least he’s not overreacting.

SonOfSpam

To be fair, Cincinnati does have reserves of oil. Due to the skyline chili. Wait, no, that’s just poop. Probably pretty oily though.

litre_cola

First they mocked my love of Malort, next they will come for my Skyline Chili.

SonOfSpam

Sounds like a pairing any oenologist would be proud to rec.

Horatio Cornblower

No one is coming for your Skyline Chili.

WCS

Rivaled only by it’s neighboring state to the west in terms of gravy oil.

Unsurprised

Is that what gives the Cuyahoga its blue flames?

(RIVERS CAN BE IN TWO CITIES, DAMMIT!)

Last edited 2 months ago by Unsurprised
litre_cola

1st day back at work, I want to play in traffic.

Horatio Cornblower

Same, brother, same.

NotShogunButShogun

Thirded

Doktor Zymm

Aye

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

I had a 0830 meeting, when I normally start at 0900, and then a day full of meetings
And, like, actual, fucking, work of my own to do. Most of which is getting pushed until at least tomorrow
Oh and 300+ emails and a zillion teams messages. If there’s something in teams that needs me, they are going to have to message me again as I’m not reading all that.
It’s bad when I like emails more than teams messages

jjfozz

Yup, my boss and I reviewed a copy and graphic intensive document in like, 7 minutes. That’s not the way to do it, but like a good grunt I shut up and followed orders. HEY WHO CARES IF IT LOOKS LIKE A SQUAD OF RETARDED CHIMPS DID IT?

Doktor Zymm

Depending on the intended audience that might be the most effective way for it to look

Brick Meathook

I’m reading an analysis of the NFL coach firings, which is six at this point. In each fired coach’s analysis, listed among his potential replacements are all the other fired coaches.

Gumbygirl

It’s a circle jerk

jjfozz

And here in lovely Mobtown, not a peep from the Ravens’ front office. Fuck.

ballsofsteelandfury

They’re not going to do anything. Just like the Steelers were not going to do anything if the kick was straight.

ArmedandHammered

Well, they are updating their wills and getaway bags.

Horatio Cornblower

Hard to make a peep while you’re sleeping with the fishes.

WCS

Still trying to come to grips with last night’s Stillers game.

Possibly the greatest regular season game in Heinz Field history.

WCS

Even if the Ratbirds’ kick had been good, it still would have be one of the best. Just bananacakes all around.

ballsofsteelandfury

One for the books, for sure. I’m not sure I’d be calling it great if the kick had been straight.

Gumbygirl

It was completely insane. I woke up muscle sore this morning from the tension of it all!

ballsofsteelandfury

I told my buddy my heart hadn’t beaten that hard in a long time….

NotShogunButShogun

Buddy Cole? What he do you?

litre_cola

What didn’t he do? Two consenting adults can get up to all sorts of mischief.

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Show us or point at it on the doll

Gumbygirl

.

1000008589
Doktor Zymm

For whomsoever is considering hiring McCarthy as HC

4983
NotShogunButShogun

I enjoy that he still lives here. He must listen to the talkosphere in glee

Gumbygirl

Go Cats Go!

SonOfSpam

-me, upon seeing any MAGA thrown into a lion den

Gumbygirl

If only

ballsofsteelandfury

5 out of the top 6 picking fired their coaches.

How the hell did the Jets keep their coach?!?

King Hippo

Woody is trying to show he’s not Das Raycess?

Doktor Zymm

Even the least functional organizations usually give a coach a second year, don’t they?

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s high praise for the Jets…

Doktor Zymm

What’s worse than least functional? It’s a superlative, by definition you can’t be less than least

ballsofsteelandfury

What’s worse? The Jets.

The Jets < the least . It's math.

Last edited 2 months ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Doktor Zymm

It would be kinda fun to do a dysfunction bracket for the shittiest teams in the league

ballsofsteelandfury

Cleveland, Jets, Raiders, Cardinals.

There’s your Mount Rushless

ArmedandHammered

Non-functional?

ArmedandHammered

Woody can’t change the coach on his Madden ’08 game.