Your Bills/Broncos Semifinal Open Thread

Well, bust my plastic table, we’re starting off with a good one! But they’ve all been pretty good and I think this weekend can approach the wildcard round in quality. Every fixture is compelling in one way or another for this neutral observer.

To The Game!

Bills/Broncos:

-Some are worried that Josh doesn’t have a viable #1 receiver to play with but he’s always gotten by with sub talent so why is this game any different? (I suppose it makes a difference over the course of a season but a standalone game? nah) And besides, how much did he accomplish with the malcontent Diggs on his team?

-Nevertheless Mecole Hardman and Curtis Samuels are eligible to play today though their contributions may be minimal. The far more important addition is Ed Oliver, the defensive tackle that may help the run defense, such as it is.

-If Allen drags this flawed team to the AFC Championship and then loses I won’t be the least bit surprised.

-Rb Cook seems to be the key-of Denver’s three losses two of the opponents managed to run over 100+ yards, so there’s that.

-Can the Broncos themselves run? Their EPA per designed run sits at an abysmal -0.04 as opposed to their +0.12 per dropback. This isn’t your usual, ‘grind it out on the ground and let the D take care of business’ team. My guess is that the short passing game to Harvey and McLaughlin will function as the run game.

-As noted, that Bronc’s D is not to be messed with but hoo boy, they’ve given up 350(!) penalty yards just on pass interference penalties alone.

-Payton tracked all of the Bills losses over the last two years and determined that the key to defeating them is to win the turnover battle. Look for his defenders to be ‘punch drunk’ but in a very aggressive way.

Rev your engines.

 

 

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litre_cola

Big guy pick!!

Mr. Ayo

Great answer!

Kraken pot one to get one closer to evil Ice Jazz.

2 Ice HOX- Ice Jazz 3

Mr. Ayo

Our heroic Ice HOX have tied it up.

Eat shit Utah.

Redshirt

♪♪ Anything you can derp, I can derp better ♪♪

fleshwound_NPG

FAT MAN INT

NotShogunButShogun

Ruh-roh…

King Hippo

oh fuckshit, Bo. Don’t be doing that slapdickery!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

NOT IN-COM-PLETE!

Redshirt

Ah, someone turned the Bills switch from Suck to AssPull.

Unsurprised

Oh my god! I forgot the game!

Anyway, everyone who has ever worked at Intuit or taken money as a whore for Intuit needs to paint their houses along with everyone they know and love.

Last edited 1 month ago by Unsurprised
Gumbygirl

When the still sea
Conspires an armor
And her sullen and aborted currents
Breed tiny monsters
True sailing is dead
Awkward instant
And the first animal is jettisoned
Legs furiously pumping
Their stiff green gallop
And heads bob up
Poise
Delicate
Pause
Consent
In mute nostril agony
Carefully refined
And sealed over
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Jim Morrison / John Paul Densmore / Robert A Krieger / Raymond D Manzarek
Horse Latitudes lyrics © Doors Music Co., Doors Music CompanyWhen the still sea
Conspires an armor
And her sullen and aborted currents
Breed tiny monsters
True sailing is dead
Awkward instant
And the first animal is jettisoned
Legs furiously pumping
Their stiff green gallop
And heads bob up
Poise
Delicate
Pause
Consent
In mute nostril agony
Carefully refined
And sealed over
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Jim Morrison / John Paul Densmore / Robert A Krieger / Raymond D Manzarek
Horse Latitudes lyrics © Doors Music Co., Doors Music Company

Gumbygirl

I don’t know why it’s on there twice.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Modest Mouse likes to do that. Sing a song twice in the same recording; it’s weird but it works for them.

SonOfSpam

Song so nice it posted twice

Gumbygirl

Or maybe I’m just a dumbass. Anyway…the reason I posted it was as a warning to the Donks not to get cocky. There you are, sailing along without a care in the world, whooping up on Buffalo, when suddenly you hit the fucking doldrums. Next thing you know, the hossies are getting jettisoned. But it doesn’t matter, because Brokeback seems determined to throw himself overboard instead.

ThePirateSloth

lol this is a flyer in the women’s bathroom at my bar:

1000002618
Don T

How can you say no to love and captivity with free witnesses!

litre_cola

So uh whatcha doin in there?

ThePirateSloth

The MrsSloth couldn’t stop laughing about it. Like a lady so gonna meet the man or woman of her dreams at this shit bar and decide you know what? Imma marry this bitch RIGHT NOW

Mr. Ayo

Damn, nice knowing you imaginary folks.

https://twitter.com/MtStHelensWA/status/2012506823702815138

Last edited 1 month ago by Mr. Ayo
ThePirateSloth

My body is ready. TAKE ME HELEN

King Hippo

Look, unless Horse Cock Lock really does have to play, you win this game 999 times out of 1,000.

/even with HCL, it’s like 950/1,000

Mr. Ayo

You might be surprised

Redshirt

As a Bengals fan, I swore I would never ever root for the 49ers…

litre_cola

Reckon I count?

Mr. Ayo

Indeed. I still owe you a shipment too.

litre_cola

Hell yeah!!

The Maestro

Bills is ass

The Maestro

Bills is maybe not quite ass?

The Maestro

We now return to our regularly scheduled prograssing

Redshirt

For those of you too young to watch the Buffalo Super Bowl losses…it was kind of like this but with painfully far better talent and coaching.

King Hippo

I had a migraine during the close one. I remember prying one eye open just long enough to see Wide Right

Redshirt

All the shit Scott Norwood gets but no one looks at the Offensive Playcaller for wasting all that time with runs to barely get within field goal range.

Screenshot-2026-01-17-183237
WCS

I follow a YooToober who makes NCAA Football the video game is content. Yesterday, he was doing a 20-year simulation featuring relegation between conferences. That part isn’t important, what’s interesting/funny is Oregon made five national title games in the 20-year span, included three in four years. The Ducks lost them all.

King Hippo

did NC State get relegated?

Unsurprised

To Pop Werner?

Unsurprised

The Ducks always choke because they don’t chew their food first.

https://youtu.be/eS1_F1W2MkE?si=dGmpuvs7bphZQ4jS

Last edited 1 month ago by Unsurprised
King Hippo

Not using your pass-catching TE against us is criminally stupid

Mr. Ayo

Buffalo has been criminally stupid in many other ways, not sure why you’d think they would fix this one area of stupidity.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That “lateral” by Josh Allen was worthy of Nuremberg.

Redshirt

Denver passes up on the Kill Shot and continues strategy of Buffalo tripping over their own two feet and falling on their faces. Its a viable strategy but you think it’d be easier to end his one early and start printing those AFC Championship Game tickets.

BugEyedBoo

I think I read this on Defector – there should be a penalty kick for attempt to draw offsides. Except kicked by Defense, by their kicker, to the QB’s junk. That will put a stop to that I bet.

Last edited 1 month ago by BugEyedBoo
NotShogunButShogun

The little I’ve caught so far tells me Yay foar teh Hippo, neigh foar nfl narrative.

King Hippo

Looks like tomorrow might end up with 100% of the tension/drama

fleshwound_NPG
Redshirt

Josh Allen has gone Full Playoff Andy Dalton!

King Hippo

On-the-GROUND!!!!

/horse whinnies in GAME OVER man

Senor Weaselo

A terrible death whinny?

Mr. Ayo

SUDDEN DONKS WOO!

Beerguyrob

See about a half dozen of these so far. Seattle is way into recycling

IMG_2722
fleshwound_NPG

RIP Mike F

bafkreibjojrf5rmrcsag43yphsqwdr2vtac2heawtgiasdrck42jshmtba
Redshirt

That does support my theory that Hailee Steinfeld is a succubus who has drained Josh Allen of his talent.

Beerguyrob

Their baby’s gonna look like Kuato.

King Hippo

He should let her sleep with me, just for, you know. SCIENCE

Redshirt

We do need a comparative sample. Give her at least one minute and don’t forget to cuddle afterwards. Like a goddamned gentleman.

ThePirateSloth

I mean….
comment image

Redshirt

I mean, I still would, but I would have my Bible and all the Holy Water I can get my hands on.

Beerguyrob

I don’t know. If I’m Josh Allen I’m holding onto that ball. Can’t give up points like that, shooter.

Redshirt

Only possible reason would be if a receiver ran a route in that area, but that wouldn’t make sense because as soon as Allen started running, the receiver would run ahead of him to block.

One angle looked like he just lost control and didn’t lateral, but you don’t run up the field in that situation. Either run to the sideline or slide down and call it a hall and regroup.

fleshwound_NPG

allen once tried to throw a bomb to a FULLBACK once. during a playoff game.

at random he can be dumb as shit sometimes

ThePirateSloth

My brain is so Simpsons coded that as soon as someone says they are a Denver Broncos fan, I just hear Homer Simpson:https://youtu.be/xpOY4u8hL_E?si=uTk-l_FGcKVxpSwN

WCS

So, uh, this is why Buffalo will never win an Owl, right?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyhAJEPEHk4

King Hippo

God help me, but I think we got them fools now

Mr. Ayo

Yeah, game over. Nobody shoots themselves in the dick like the BIlls.

King Hippo

that was a lot of shooting and a lot of dick

/Buddy Cole film festival

Gumbygirl

Wow, that was crazypants!

Don T

Bonehead Brokeback Throwback!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Good Lord that has to be among the top 3 stupidest things I’ve ever seen someone do on a football field.

Redshirt

What the…?!

Horatio Cornblower

Oh no. Josh went full Brokeback.

You never go full Brokeback!

King Hippo

oh my Brain Freeze Josh is BACK!!!

Mr. Ayo

WTF Allen.

LemonJello

Are Nance and Romo literally jerking each other off in the booth?

Spur

Joining the Mile High Club

Don T

Bof. What a play call.

Doktor Zymm

Is 5280 the last 4 of Nix’s SSN?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sure, CBS’s viewers would love a drama about a rural sheriff. But casting a Brazilian-born actress as the lead? Good luck. That timeslot will be back to Matlock reruns within a month.

Beerguyrob

But but but… she was in Deadpool?!

Unsurprised

Give it a month before they bring on her husband to whiten it up.

Doktor Zymm

Upgraded right after boarding! Woohoo!

No tv on this flight though, gonna rely on y’all for updates

Doktor Zymm

And I already missed a fat guy td? That’ll teach me nawt to stream the game while boarding! And now they’re announcing the wifi might be patchy booooooo

LemonJello

That’s what you get for flying on Air Force One.

Doktor Zymm

His face looks so tiny and determined!

Don T

Tiny & Determined sounds like a Simón Bolivar TikTok

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He looks like he ate the Greatest American Hero and thus gained his powers.

Senor Weaselo

Believe it or not!

Redshirt

He’s gone Super Saiyan!

Horatio Cornblower

This looks like the last thing the monks at Lindisfarne ever saw.

clint greasewood

Bo Miss

fleshwound_NPG

holy shit a new NOT A COP SHOW on cbs!?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Followed by an ad for a new show about a sheriff.

Don T

Dropped TD catches symmetry!

Cecil Rhodes

My word! It’s Vance Joseph! Does Sergio Dipp know that he’s on the sideline today?

Beerguyrob

Cook looks like he’s hunting for concussions the way nerds hunt Pokémon.

ThePirateSloth

I see you’re drinking down south of the stadiums. How are the bars down there? I’ve always been a Pioneer Square area bar patron, except for back in the day when we tailgated.

Beerguyrob

Pretty good. I’m usually at Fast Fashion, but we needed food beforehand, so we came to Vinason which is quite decent. Hatback has a two hour wait that they’ve exceeded while I’ve been here sampling the Northwest.

King Hippo

Brokeback won’t be able to walk 10 years from now.

Doktor Zymm

Is that in binary?

Mr. Ayo

Woah, Jaxson Dart is at the Ice Jazz game with his girlfriend.

Enjoy the loss asshole. You’ll be experiencing a lot of those next season!

Don T

😆🤣
I think Dart is the Anti-Bo Nix. With Nix being cautious and good and all…