Good morning Gravy Heads!

How’s everyone doing this fine [checks calendar] – holy shit, “March” day?

How about that shit? It’s fucking March already. See? This offseason shit is a doddle! We’re getting through this fast!

I’ve got just a few more weeks before the spring Paris trip and bet your ass I’m dick-deep in research for that motherfucker.

Turns out we’re staying in the “Les Marais” neighborhood of Paris. Third arrondissement I think? Super cool location, right next to everything and it turns out to be the LGBTQ+ center of Paris. While not intentional, I have ZERO issues staying in this area. It simply means we’ll be very safe and VERY fabulous! Just need to do some slight research on bar reviews in the area.

It also means, just be aware of the clientele and do pay attention to dress code while you’re at it. In case you need to wear your “cute shit.”

How the hell has your offseason been going thus-far?

C’mon! it can’t be THAT shitty can it?

I mean, we’ve got pre-season baseball going already! I’ve watched a small handful of college hoopsball games and they’ve been fine.

The very few times I’ve tried the NBA I bailed on that shit with a quickness. Not sure when it happened but over the last 2-3 NBA seasons I’ve simply fallen out of love with the game.

It’s not a goddamn tragedy or anything, I just don’t enjoy the new style of ball.

That’s no sweat off my sack though because it means I get to use that extra time to experiment in the kitchen a bit more. And holy Hot Damn we’ve got a beauty of a recipe for you today.

A month or two back I saw in the comments section that our Doktor Zymm made a Sunday Gravy request. AND it was for something that I absolutely enjoy at that! The request was for Chicken Satay and I was more than eager to give that bastard a proper go in the test kitchen.

Do wish Dok good luck on the Vegas venture.

Turns out “satay” is from Indonesia and Malaysia but it’s also frequently found in many Thai restaurants.

Hell, you can find chicken satay skewers in many basic gastropubs under the appetizers listing of the menu. Who doesn’t love sweet, spicy, savory skewers of chicken bits grilled over charcoal?

You can do bits of pork or beef too. Shit man! Use chunks of fresh fish filets and give that a go while you’re fucking around!

It’s a simple prep with a couple of slightly different ingredients than most kitchens have but it leads to a fucking delicious product.

I’m all about that shit!

See? I really do hear when folks make requests.

Although I am making a slight variation and will be pan searing then baking the chicken skewers in the oven rather than grilling over charcoal.

So sue me. It was rainy and shit.

Let’s do this damn thing.

Chicken Satay!

recipe courtesy recipetineats.com

14 oz can of coconut milk (1 can) full fat, divided – note this will go in the marinade AND in the peanut sauce.

bamboo skewers

Marinade:

1 1/4 lb boneless skinless chicken thighs (give or take on the weight I used closer to 2 pounds) cut into 4-5″ pieces

1 tbsp curry powder 

1 tsp white sugar

2 tsp red curry paste

1 tsp kosher salt 

1/4 cup of the coconut milk.

Thai Peanut Sauce:

2 tbsp red curry paste

3/4 cup natural peanut butter, smooth

1/4 cup white sugar

2 tsp dark soy sauce

1 tsp kosher salt 

2 tbsp cider vinegar

Remaining coconut milk

3/4 cup water

Not sure how your local grocery store handles Asian style foods but I can usually find coconut milk at my regular Ralph’s and I can sometimes find red curry paste and I’m sure EVERYONE can find natural peanut butter.

If you aren’t sure there’s always Amazon

Yep, that was one Amazon order.

Let’s start by making the marinade.

Add the salt, sugar, curry powder and curry paste to a bowl.

Add in the 1/4 cup of coconut milk then stir and stir until it looks like this.

Grab the chicken.

Again, we are using chicken thighs due to them being a consistently better and juicier cut than boneless skinless breasts. Of course you can use breast if you prefer. You could also use some thinly sliced ribeye or pork tenderloin but that would preclude you from making “Chicken” satay and that was the original mission, dammit. Don’t deviate from the course this late in the proceedings!

Cut that chicken up and get it in the marinade. I cut into 4-5 inch chunks for proper skewage.

You can marinate from 2-3 hours all the way up to overnight. I let this shit refrigerate overnight for INTENSITY!

Next day, soak the skewers several hours ahead of time. These are made from bamboo afterall. This would be especially key if you’re cooking the chicken on a grill.

I thought some crushed roasted peanuts would make a nice garnish for both the chicken and the peanut sauce.

I went straight to the source.

Goddamn do I love salted peanuts in the shell. Been a long term snacking addiction of mine for fucking decades!

You can almost always find a bag of these around the right house. Especially during baseball season.

Crack a handful of them peanuts and shuck out a bowlful.

How do we crush these?

Get creative.

Basic plastic sandwich bag and one heavy ass rolling pin worked just fine for me. Only needed a handful of wallops and presto.

Here you go.

To accompany our chicken satay I decided to make coconut rice. I’ve never made coconut rice before and holy hell does it have a unique preparation for a rice dish. Watch this shit.

recipe again courtesy of recipetineats.com

Coconut Rice!

2 cups jasmine rice 

14 oz coconut milk 

1 cup water

5 tsp white sugar

1/2 tsp kosher salt

This recipe makes a LOT of rice.

You’ll notice the rice interlude is happening while the chicken skewers are coming up to room temperature. 

Start with some rice.

Jasmine rice is perfect for this but long grain does fine too.

First we need to rinse the rice thoroughly.

Rinse the rice at least 5 or 6 times until the rinse water is no longer cloudy.

Next we will be soaking the rice for ONE HOUR in plenty of water.

This step removes a bunch of the glutens and it allows the rice to be fluffier instead of sticky. That’s food science, Jasper!

After an hour drain the rice then put it in a baking dish.

“What the fuck?” you say.

Damn right. We’re baking the rice! Something I had never attempted before. Trust me on this shit because it worked spectacularly.

Combine the other can of coconut milk with the sugar, water and salt in a saucepan and bring to a boil. 

Keep an eye on this fucker. You DO NOT want this boiling over and fully fucking your stove in the process.

Pour the molten lava over the rice while still hot and stir thoroughly. 

Cover the dish with foil and get it in the oven.

Good fucking luck not spilling some of the liquid on your shoes, the floor, the cat, the kitchen carpet and the inside of the oven during rice transport. Take. Your. Time! When putting this in the oven without hopefully much spilling.

Bake the rice in a preheated 400 degree oven, covered and uninterrupted(!) for 40 minutes.

Time to get to work on the peanut sauce.

You’ll need some of this.

And some dark soy. NOT your basic-ass soy sauce. Dark soy is key for color and flavor.

Add the peanut sauce ingredients to a pot or saucepan and get it simmering. Don’t forget to add the leftover coconut milk like I did. Which, in fact explains the very thick texture and the deep mahogany color.

Skewer up the marinated chicken.

Then cook them in a skillet over medium-high heat. About 4-5 minutes per side.

Turn.

And cook for another 4-5 minutes.

When the skewers have been browned put them back into that baking dish and set aside for a moment.

The rice has finally finished its 40 minute long sauna, so drag that shit out of the oven.

Take a quick peek inside the foil to make sure the cooking liquid has absorbed. You will see some coconut cream on top and that’s OK.

Now for the critical step for the rice.

After removing from the oven leave it covered with the foil on for fifteen minutes. FIFTEEN MINUTES! This is not negotiable. Adjust your cooking times accordingly.

Hell, we can finish cooking the chicken during the rice resting period!

Fucking brilliant!

Reduce the oven temp to about 350 and finish the chicken in the oven for 15-20 minutes.

Fifteen minutes later and that motherfucking rice is done. You may now remove the foil.

Fluff the rice like it’s got a porn scene coming up.

Look how the grains separate individually. Not gluey and shitty at all!

It’s goddamn perfect in fact.

When the skewers have finished baking, plate up and garnish the skewers and the sauce with the crushed peanuts.

Serve the chicken right on top of the coconut rice.

Dip the chicken in the sauce.

Man, I ain’t even gonna skewer these next time. This is a flat-out fucking delicious chicken recipe, PERIOD. It’s got sweet, it’s got heat, it’s got savory, it’s got seasoning and flavor right up the asshole! It is MAGNIFICENT!

Make this shit and some plain ass rice if you want and you’ve got some seriously healthy chicken and rice. I would eat this every goddamn week.

In fact, I bought coconut milk and red curry at the store yesterday just to have on hand because I WANT THIS AGAIN RIGHT FUCKING NOW!

Oh, and the coconut rice was flawless. It is a tad bit sweet but the flavor offset when serving with the spice-heavy (not to be confused with hot and spicy) chicken is incredible.

Killer idea for you; next time you’re going to a grill out or tailgate make these skewers in advance. Get a container of the peanut sauce ready and take these to grill over charcoal. You’ll be all like “I brought something for you to grill.”

Then they’ll be all like “Holy fucking shit, dude! This shit is fucking delicious!” Then you’ll be all smiling and shit.

MAKE THIS DISH NOW!

The Fun holidays and observances for March 1st include: International Women of Color Day, World Compliment Day, World Seagrass Day, National Black Women in Jazz and the Arts Day, National Day of Unplugging, National Barista Day, Share a Smile Day, St. David’s Day, International Wheelchair Day, National Minnesota Day!, Clean Up Australia Day, National Pig Day AND National Peanut Butter Lovers Day! LOOK WHAT WE DID THERE!

Be well everyone. Enjoy your Sunday and we can get together again next Sunday, a’ight?