Remember that old SNL sketch “Fecal Matter with your Host, Doug Fecal”? No? Yeah I figured it was just me. It was a solid (heh) talk show format with a specialized host and topic. Well, we ain’t exactly doing Pod Flies Open around here, but what about in written form, maybe say like a mix between Doug Fecal, Jack Handey, Balls’ 25 questions, Rev’s take on Larry King, and I don’t know, my own fucked up mind? With that backdrop I present to you the seventeenth edition of a potentially sporadically recurring irregularly scheduled Random Thoughts with BFC! Now also in open thread form! If you want to make this interactive, drop a note/question/bon mot in the comments ala my old Mouth Flies Open attempt at an advice column.

• The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem is off tonight. Look, when you’re part of the clergy, your schedule isn’t always up to you. Freaking Alanis Morrisette and Her inconsiderate skeeball schedule.
• Speaking of things that aren’t timely, how about a hockey meme?

• Not to go all Peter King but quiet car or no, a shrieking child on the Acela is a very frustrating experience.
• Even worse though is when adults are listening to TV shows/music without headphones. Don’t be complete assholes.
• Is there a word or phrase for when you send your partner a meme and then 1-3 weeks later they send it to you without acknowledgment?
• One life learning that is super weird is that you will always be a kid to your parents, even if you’re a full on adult. Or maybe that’s just in the eyes of my mother-in-law.
• I had a very unpleasant experience the other day.  I was waiting for a bus (DFO WRITERS–THEY’RE JUST LIKE YOU) and a man came up to ask me for money for food. I told him I didn’t have any cash, which was actually true.  He walked away and then when the bus pulled up, he walked back, started muttering, got on the bus behind me and said “wherever you’re going has an atm, let’s go.” I did not enjoy this. I stared at him in disbelief, at which point he repeated his intention and I made it clear that would not be happening.  At that point, he shared his views on how he asked, and other people take, and would I rather he ask or take.  Not interested in debating the finer points of false equivalency, I gave him a granola bar and told him the trip to the joint ATM may need to be an adventure he takes with someone else. The denouement was anticlimactic as he did not disembark when I did at the train station, so I only presume the granola bar won the day.
• In positive NFL news, apparently we’re all good with Michael Vick again, if I’m reading the “glad Justin Fields is spending time with former dog killer Michael Vick” articles that ran a week or so ago. The Bears invited him invited him to impart his wisdom, which hopefully had a little LT scared straight flavor mixed in with the be lightning fast but don’t forget you have an awesome arm advice, too.
• It’s also a reminder that Michael Vick, like vampires, must be invited in order to come in. Otherwise he can’t hurt your dog.
• And yes, that positive news line was sarcasm.
• Speaking of the Bears, this feels like false hope and/or a negotiating tactic, but the Sun Times is reporting that the Bears could stay in a redeveloped Soldier Field rather than move to Arlington Heights. Live look at Bears fans:

• If you haven’t been following the news of the I-95 collapse, you may not be aware that Philly sports bars are live streaming construction, and they’re cheering for heavy machinery not named Reggie White.
• We’re about a month away from “voluntary” and mandatory OTAs giving way to full on NFL training camp. I’ve been to the Bears training camp when it was in Platteville, and while I thoroughly enjoyed it as a kid, kids are stupid and it was invariably a waste or time, money, and sweat. Not that I have a better thing to do with that sweat, I  just vividly remember how damn hot it was, and I was a fat kid in a Mike Singletary t-shirt, I can’t imagine how the fully padded up linemen felt.
• Let’s end these random thoughts, as always with a full in the blank. This week’s is inspired by Brick during last night’s open thread: “Of all the DFOers, the one I most want to meet IRL to is ___________ so we could hang out and ________.
• (Let’s try to keep this PG-13). /Buddy Cole’s fly flies open

What’s on TV tonight?

Baseball, Pro and Amateur

Braves at Phillies (already started shortly before this post went live if I didn’t screw it up) on TBS
Dodgers at Angels, 9:07 pm DFO time on TBS. Ohtani isn’t pitching but Kershaw is, so that’s usually entertaining. YMMV. Fair warning, I have watched like 4 baseball games combined this season.

LSU vs Tennessee in the College World Series, 6pm DFO time on ESPN. LSU lost a squeaker last night to Wake Forest, so like Temptation Island when they’re down to two condoms and one case of beer, it’s elimination time.

Basketball (WNBA Action)

Atlanta Wings vs the Dallas Dream at 6pm DFO time on NBA TV
Connecticut Sun and Seattle Storm at 9pm DFO time on the same channel
Minnesota Lynx and LA Sparks providing the 9pm counter programming on CBS Sports Network.

Errata

What are YOU watching that’s great/you recommend to the clubhouse/are embarrassed to admit to IRL friends that you enjoy?  TO THE COMMENTS TO DISCLOSE!