As your newly-crowned King of the DFO Fantasy Football leagues, champion of the Freezer Vodka League, and Benevolent Monarch of the DFO Peoples, WE pledge to you, OUR loyal subjects, to share our knowledge and update you on the goings-on in the Realm every Saturday Night in the off-season. Tonight, WE present to you a list of things that Amuse US that start with the letter D (We shall go in alphabetical order going forward) and that OUR subjects should develop an interest in:
- Double Ds
- Doubling Down
- Double Doubles
- Donuts
- Dinero
- Dalliances
- Diners
- Drive-ins
- Dives
- Dolomites
- Dénouements
And now for something completely different…
WE so proclaim:
World Sport Update
The 2026 Winter Olympics are still going!! Coverage in the United States is primarily on Peacock.
WE decree that these events in the Old Continent shall be watched live as much as possible and preferably during work hours. WE have enjoyed the shit out of the curling, have a new-found appreciation for ice dancing, and are still wondering how Chloe Kim and Myles Garrett got together. Seriously, how did that happen?!?
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General Sports Update
The Seattle Seahawks won the Super Bowl over the New England Patriots thus ensuring two very important things: 1) The Patriots remain tied with the Steelers for the most Super Bowl wins if all time, and 2) The Patriots are now all alone in first place in all time Super Bowl losses with 6. Yes, their record is 6-6 in the Big Game.
The State of Origin game took place last night between Victoria and West Australia in the AFL. This is essentially an All-Star game where the players represent their home state. It took the place of a preseason game. The NFL should ABSOLUTELY jump on this bandwagon and organize a California v Florida game. You know you would watch the shit out of that.
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Other Updates
It’s Valentine’s Day. To those of you NOT in relationships, this should be a day of joy as you will not be forced to do something special for sometime just because of American Consumerism. To those of you IN a relationship, you better have already made plans or you are fucked and not in the good way. To the teeny tiny minority of you that are IN a relationship but do NOT have to do something special today, please consider how incredibly LUCKY you are!
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In this space, WE shall share OUR Thing Of The Week. Today’s Thing:
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OUR weekly funny:
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OUR weekly hot girl pic:
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OUR weekly music video:
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One last thing:
Somehow I managed to bork THREE separate ticket machines at Penn Station to catch the 1:54.
But more importantly, I’d say it was a successful evening.
Why is the woman in the featured picture wearing a bra? This is bugging me. That is not the kind of outfit one puts a bra underneath.
Ask 2Pack. I just work here …
Not according to everything you posted above?
Well, The King has PEOPLE….
You, more than anyone, should know how royalty works…
She’s sorta shy…
I think the photo was from a Playboy set of Frank Gifford’s mistress, who was a bit long in the tooth at the time the story broke.
This may or may not work but it is tradition.
Sunday Gravy coming, yo!
I NEED a trip out to you for an epic combo post.
I’m thinking about becoming a gamer when I retire.
Where should I start?
Last games I really got into were GTA San Andreas, Red Dead Redemption and the one with Marcus Phoenix and you’re killing aliens and shit.
Buy a bunch of cheeto’s and energy drinks.
I’ll still write Sunday Gravy though.
Soon it will be all about what you want to do. Whatever stuff improves your life and makes you happy are just fine. Something tells me we’re not going to get stuck in any ruts.
I read to much to let any of that happen.
I’ll be fine.
Might ask for some gardening tips down the road.
I’ll certainly help you blunder down that road for continued cooking tips. Gardening and cooking connections are something I’d recommend everyone experience. Gives a person a lot of peace.
GTA 6 is coming out soon-ish
Use & abuse of the royal we is my favorite prize for a FF championship. Too funny 😂🤣
I’m going to abuse the shit out of it until next season.
That’s funny, we just finished watching a Hallmark movie called The Royal We.
You had me at double D’s here Buddy
When did subtitles become the default?
I didn’t vote for that shit.
When every show and streaming service’s sound mixing and basic service went to hell.
That. That actually makes sense. Thanks.
He’s right. Sound is all over the fucking place.
Am watching SexiMexi Futbol, and Draft Kings is available in espanol ahora.
And just this last season when pickup ads started replacing debt relief commercial in español nfl broadcasts. Circle of credit life right there.
Was watching the women’s biathlon, and oh boy, the sheer comic justice at the thought of a Ukrainian competitor turning and blasting away at a Russian “Individual Neutral Athlete”
That’s disgusting
I stand corrected. This chickenshit liberal bloodlust for Russian orc blood is pretty funny in a way.
On this valentines day I am thankful and blessed…
That I’m a motherfucking bachelor with zero attachments and traveling money.
I made myself a toastie with ham, dijon and pickles on the bottom with turkey, mayo and Swiss on top.
Cook in a skillet with some quality butter and get nice and toastie.
Couple 4 five beverages?
Quality day.
Oh right. Happy Valentines Day to my right hand.
And left.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5ofVsxTPoc
As much as I’ve been glued to Olympics, I’ve somehow missed Canada becoming the heel of curling. Never saw that one coming
This year for the first time I have no American coverage on my cable tv. We’re holding fast, don’t ya know.
So I’m watching like an American. We’re always the good guys.
Also right now they have two lady bobsleighers wading into the bow river on cbc and it’s beautiful. One is very black with blonde hair and one very pale with dark hair. I might need some fresh pants.
I’ve burned out on curling. It’s on all the time, and it’s basically billiards on ice but without the shady gambling going on in the background.
Pretty sure there’s shady gambling in the curling world…
Well I should hope so!
I forgot how crazy LSU’s lady hoopsball cooch is. She is fucking nuts.
*Dials WCS for a car accident*
https://x.com/IntercontGTC/status/2022870834906268015
Lil’ WCS is not pleased that I have to work a double again.
This is really the first time she’s more angry and sad.
I suck. I hate putting them through this. I’ve decided to use a personal day tomorrow, so I can spend all day with them. Guess this is a preview for the teen years.
I’m helping others, but not my kids.
You care, which is more than a lot of parents. Keep up the good work.
and setting a great example which they pick up on thanks WCS 911
I’ve been wondering why you work so many doubles.
I mean, I wouldn’t even work singles, but are you saving up for a long vacation or something?
Staffing issues, call-offs, Princess wants a condo, just life…
I don’t intentionally ruin their weekends. Just how it is.
What really sucks is their mom is constantly at work, too.
Wanna go Gen X and tell them to suck it up, buttercup?
They’ll grow up stronger, more independent, and infinitely more sarcastic.
It’s not a bad thing.
Don’t do that. Parents work, and unless they’re very lucky they don’t get to choose the hours. You’re being a father and man and someday she’ll get that.
Probably won’t admit it, though.
Work is what adults do, especially providers. So many folks also benefit from you feeling duty-bound and being dependable. Please don’t fret too much about being a wonderful example to your children.
Is anyone else seeing USA-Germany curling? Is this Gold Zone? I just clicked on the first link on Peacock.
https://youtu.be/KTi4rSPA38A?si=iBCxvGXfDowl1eMi
Holy shit. Where have you been browsing while I was out?
The nerds at namethatpornstar are doing God’s Work (when that fucking site works).
Banner MILF: h
ttps://namethatporn.com/post/1813487-who-is-this.html
Vespa girl
h
ttps://www.tumbex.com/elamodelcollar.tumblr/post/719221919559385088
Her imginn (IG without Meta bullshit)
h
ttps://imginn.com/martagromova.magazine/
Even with those links I’m lost. She must have à Christian name you can type out
Paella success!
Salud!
Did you do a seafood one, or the chicken and sausage version?
Chicken, Spanish chorizo, and Prawns on top.
That sounds delicious!
Fuck, I’ll mail myself up there with the next scarf.
Saturday Gravy is a bit lacking in photos.
Release the laptop X files!
https://www.adelaidenow.com.au/news/victoria/laptop-x-laptop-x-sex-highs-and-videotape-leave-footy-stars-celebs-sweating-after-explicit-files-seized/news-story/0b2af1d559aca5672d5d79d7432078a4?amp&nk=8200fc097d02552e5118c91d9cd91d4d-1771120513
I’m sure they’ll get right on that. They did such a magnificent jorb with finding that Ben Gazzi guy, showing all the weird shit Hillary was into, and especially what Epstein had!
The Ozstein files
Very happy with the dinner I made for Valentine’s Day this evening. Let’s just hope it wasn’t so good that we’re both too full for any further action.
One thing I’ve learned as I’ve aged: sex first, then dinner.
Walked around SF today. Tons of ppl out for Chinese New Year & Mardi Gras celebrations!!! 🎉🧧
It’s Rockingggg!!!!
Wait, isn’t SF a liberal hellhole where you get raped every five minutes?
They’re celebrating communist China’s made up new year and can’t even use English for Fat Tuesday. That is the imagined liberal hell hole. That, and I hear they have a lot of taco carts
/thinking about the 2nd-best Finnish sniper during the Winter War of 1939-1940. I’ve no idea who he was but not surprised that he didn’t get very much credit.
Caller: “911, the renter next door? There’s a new car in the driveway. Can you investigate?”
WCS: “That’s not a thing we do ma’am. Get a life. Next!”
Caller: “I just found out that my son is watching porn. Can you come here and arrest him? He’s not of God.”
WCS: “Get lost, loser.”
Caller: “The moon is shining through my kitchen just like last month and you haven’t done anything about it. I’m calling the cops on you!”
WCS: “Stop being a drunken shithead. Next!”
Caller: “Someone has stolen the Steelers flag that I had on my porch. It cost me $4.99!”
WCS: [trying desperately to remain calm] “We’ll take care of this. ALL UNITS THERE’S BEEN A FLAG RAPE IN BETHEL PARK. THE SUSPECT HASN’T BEEN IDENTIFIED YET BUT IT’S PROBABLY A LARGE BLACK MAN THAT IDENTIFIES AS LAMAR JACKSON. THOUGHTS ABOUT WHO WE SHOULD DRAFT IN THE FIRST ROUND ARE WELCOME.”
I’m impressed you know what Bethel Park is.
However, BPK PD handles their own dispatch. As such, I’d transfer the call to them directly. Allegheny County PD wouldn’t be able to do anything, unless they requested assistance.
YOU BET YOUR CANADIAN HOBO KILLING ASS ACPD WOULD BACK THAT CALL
Maybe it was closer to South Park?
I used to go ice skating in South Park. My Grandmother lived in Mt. Lebanon after my Grandfather died, but she was originally from Mt. Oliver. My mom grew up in Brentwood. I’m very familiar with the southern burbs.
My old man grew up in Brookline, mom is from Ingram.
Dad was from Homestead. I was born there, lived in West Homestead until I was 6. My younger brother had really bad asthma, we moved out to the country so he could breathe.
It annoys me when dumb-dumbs say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. That’s the definition of persistence.
If you tried to climb a big mountain and failed a few times you wouldn’t be insane to keep trying to hike up it rather than rolling or jumping up it, would you? No, you’d be insane to try things other than the way you know works but just haven’t worked for you.
Accept your failures as sane. You cannot fly to the bottom of the pool, dumb-dumb.
“dumb-dumbs”? If you could dial the aggressive rhetoric back a little maybe. This is why we can’t have rational exchanges these days.
I say, put that on your clothesline and let it dry, friend.
salute to everyone curling them toes tonight
https://bsky.app/profile/dangartland.bsky.social/post/3metpl3efck26
Near Durango CO
32000ft, 423kts ground speed, -58°F
Can your highness put a decree forbidding dipshits who shouldn’t be driving anyway from getting into accidents, wasting all of our time?
It is important to thin the herd…
Then do it somewhere else than Allegheny County!
WCS: Confluence 911, what’s your emergency?
Dumb Yinzer (SIC: redundant): This asshole ran into my car!
WCS: (Deep sigh) Do you see any blood?
DY (SIC: abbr): Of course not!
WCS: Then it’s not an emergency. I’m transferring you to the local PD.
should’ve asked whether it was gaping
passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood
Hey, those dipshits are paying my bills!
I hereby decree that the makers of adult toys should be called by the name of Sexsmith. That is all.
LET IT BE SO!
Doesn’t apply to Morrissey.
I’m a Peter!
And I am a sexsmith!
Yep. That works.
This guy agrees. (He’s a less-depressed Elliot Smith or maybe a Canadian Nick Lowe. Wait, is Nick Lowe Canadian? Dammit, I don’t even know anymore.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IppSS_-PFGM&list=RDIppSS_-PFGM&start_radio=1