Monday Morning Mock Draft: Well, That’s Just, Like, Your Opinion, Man

Guten Tag drones, and welcome to May.

All month, too.  Hopefully it will start to warm up around here soon.  I am getting well tired of 52 and cloudy.

This week we’re going to do something a little different:  You are limited to one (1) pick, and only 1 (one) pick.  The topic, and the limitation, comes from first-time contributor BC Dick, who suggested ‘Desert Island Movie’ with the stipulation that you could only make one (one) pick.

Once a movie is picked it is out for everyone.

His pick is ‘The Big Lebowski,’ which is a fine suggestion, not least because I get to post that vaguely threatening picture as the featured image, and make it work.

I have several picks in mind for my own desert island, and I am of course sorely tempted to take ‘Kelly’s Heroes’ again, just so Sharkbait can’t, again.

Look, a bit’s a bit.

That said, I am going to take a chance a trade down, try to get a feel for what you folks might take, and weigh my own choices before making the 1 (1) pick I am allowed here.

But I’m posting this one now, because the Montreal game is getting deep, I need another beer, and this thing needs to head to post.  Without further ado

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Senor Weaselo

First things first, I would want something lighthearted, so The Godfather Saga is out. Probably in the comedy genre, maybe action/comedy so it scratches the thrill itch. Something to get my mind off the being on a desert island.

So, with that, something I love, something that hits my inner child. The Sandlot it is!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

1. This is actually an easy choice for me:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us5dEocwWjw

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

By which I mean the movie “Heat” starring Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro and Val Kilmer and Tom Sizemore and Natalie Portman and…

It’s got a great story, great acting, great cinematography, a great score/soundtrack, the greatest shootout scene ever put on film, and it’s almost 3 hours long. All I need to do is figure out how to brew some coconut liqueur and carve myself some sort of rudimentary surfboard and I can live out the rest of my days in vacuum-noise-free tranquility.

Don T

I saw it again last week. Solid.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I used to watch it regularly (maybe once every 18 months or so?) but I think the Dr. Mrs. would worry about my health seeing the levels of drunkenness I normally reach by the end credits. Also it meant to be served “loud”.

scotchnaut

Look folks, if Geoffrey Epstein was good with just the one island we should be as well.*

*my strangled corpse is found in my office later this afternoon.

Senor Weaselo

It was clearly a suicide.

Don T

After applying Balls’s rationale infra (I can give only one +1 to that wtf?!), my favorite movie fits

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Senor Weaselo

That would be on my short list for desert island musical.

Prisoners of Love/Leo & Max is at the end of the show and it is a fucking pain in the ass from all the shifting back and forth. It felt like it took the full two week run for me to actually nail it.

Don T

Can’t keep our hearts in jaaaiiil

HAHAHAAHAHAHA

LemonJello

Andy Reid misread the draft topic and is frantically searching all the streaming platforms for this “Dessert Island Movie.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I always assumed that Dessert Island had regions, just like Itchy & Scratchy Land.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He’s still furious with his travel agent for not talking him out of that trip to Candy Apple Island.

ballsofsteelandfury

And still no one else has made a pick…

Sharkbait

I love how the Kelly’s Heroes bit is still going on.

LemonJello

I am excited to see who makes a second round pick.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I wonder when the Blair Witch Projects will go

ballsofsteelandfury

In advance of my pick, I’ll talk about the rationale like a talking head in ESPN or NFL Network.

The two movies that immediately come to mind have a couple of things in common: they both start with “Go” and they both drop off in the third act. This is why they didn’t get selected. I speak, of course, of the movie “Go” and “Goldfinger”. It’s really difficult to find a movie that goes hard until the credits roll. You don’t see that kind of motor very often nowadays. You also don’t see multi-tool movies that can make you laugh, give you a thrill, and make you feel good all at once.

There is only one movie I can think of that handles all of that.

Therefore, with the first overall pick in the draft (after the one in the post), I select

Grosse Pointe Blank

ballsofsteelandfury

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ballsofsteelandfury

Looks like everyone is trading down. No one wants to be the Cleveland Browns…

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Are both of them the Blair Witch Project?

LemonJello

Lowratio keeps tugging at his socks to pick Leprechaun.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Don’t waste your pick, Lowratio! Willow is so much more of an epic story!

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