Good afternoon, everyone! Considering the overwhelming response to the first DFO EPL Tipping pool (18 members and counting!), we decided to create a new weekly post to remind you to put the EPL tips in, tell you who is winning, and to give you the weekend’s fútbol schedule so that you could plan your weekend activities accordingly. Without further ado, let’s begin:
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EPL Tipping Pool Standings
| Place | Tipper | Round Tips | Round Margin | Total Tips | Total Margin |
| 1 | 8 | 0 | 8 | 0 | |
| 2 | SonOfSpam | 7 | 0 | 7 | 0 |
| 3 | Balls | 7 | 0 | 7 | 0 |
| 4 | King Hippo | 6 | 0 | 6 | 0 |
| 5 | Game Time Decision | 6 | 1 | 6 | 1 |
| 6 | Fronkenshteen | 5 | 1 | 5 | 1 |
| 7 | KBS52 | 5 | 1 | 5 | 1 |
| 8 | Reverend Mayhem | 5 | 1 | 5 | 1 |
| 9 | Horatio | 5 | 1 | 5 | 1 |
| 10 | Mr. Ayo | 4 | 0 | 4 | 0 |
| 11 | Yeah Right | 4 | 0 | 4 | 0 |
| 12 | Litre_cola | 4 | 1 | 4 | 1 |
| 13 | Sharkbait | 4 | 1 | 4 | 1 |
| 14 | nomonkeyfun | 4 | 3 | 4 | 3 |
| 15 | Don T | 4 | 3 | 4 | 3 |
| 16 | Spur | 4 | 3 | 4 | 3 |
| 17 | Blaxxabath | 4 | 13 | 4 | 13 |
| 18 | Herodotus | 2 | 2 | 2 | 2 |
Big congratulations to , who stormed out of the gates with a solid 8 tips out of 10 and a 0 goal margin!
If you want to join the pool, there is still plenty of time as we’ve only just begun Round 1. It’s free to play and all you have to do is create an account with ESPN Australia. It’s a different ESPN from here, so your normal ESPN login will not work: https://www.footytips.com.au/competitions/?ff=settings&competitionId=573249
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EPL Weekend Schedule
I’m being told that Canadian viewers only need to sign up for DAZN and they can get all the coverage of all the fútbol leagues in one place. In the US, NBC holds the rights, so you’ll be able to see games on their networks and the NBC Sports Gold package. Here are the games on tap this weekend (all times Pacific and home teams always listed first):
Saturday, August 17, 2019
4:30 AM – Arsenal v Burnley
7:00 AM – Aston Villa v AFC Bournemouth
7:00 AM – Brighton & Hove Albion v West Ham United
7:00 AM – Everton v Watford
7:00 AM – Norwich City v Newcastle United
7:00 AM – Southampton v Liverpool
9:30 AM – Manchester City v Tottenham Hotspur
Sunday, August 18, 2019
6:00 AM – Sheffield United v Crystal Palace
8:30 AM – Chelsea v Leicester City
Monday, August 19, 2019
12:00 Noon – Wolverhampton Wanderers v Manchester United
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For those of you that like your fútbol with a little more latin flair, La Liga kicks off this weekend with Round 1! In the US and Canada, BeIn Sports is the rights-holder for La Liga, so you can find all the games there. Here is this week’s schedule (all times Pacific and home teams always listed first):
Friday, August 16, 2019
12:00 Noon – Athletic Club v Barcelona
Saturday, August 17, 2019
8:00 AM – Celta de Vigo v Real Madrid
10:00 AM – Valencia v Real Sociedad
11:00 AM – Mallorca v Éibar
12:00 Noon – Leganés v Osasuna
12:00 Noon – Villarreal v Granada
Sunday, August 18, 2019
8:00 AM – Deportivo Alavés v Levante
10:00 AM – Espanyol v Sevilla
12:00 Noon – Real Betis v Real Valladolid
12:00 Noon – Atlético Madrid v Getafe
Monday, August 19, 2019
No game scheduled
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For those of you that like your games with even MORE Latin flair, here is the schedule for Liga MX (all times Pacific and home teams always listed first):
Friday, August 16, 2019
5:00 PM – Puebla v Pachuca
7:00 PM – Atlas v Cruz Azul
Saturday, August 17, 2019
3:00 PM – Atlético San Luis v Tigres UANL
5:00 PM – León v Guadalajara
7:00 PM – América v Morelia
7:00 PM – Monterrey v Toluca
Sunday, August 18, 2019
10:00 AM – Pumas UNAM v Veracruz
3:00 PM – Necaxa v Santos Laguna
5:00 PM – Juárez v Querétaro
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For those of you that like your fútbol with a Teutonic edge, the Bundesliga also begins this weekend! In the United States, Fox Sports has the rights, so you can find games on the Fox Sports networks. Here is the weekend schedule (you know the drill..):
Friday, August 16, 2019
11:30 AM – Bayern München v Hertha BSC
Saturday, August 17, 2019
6:30 AM – Borussia Dortmund v Augsburg
6:30 AM – Bayer Leverkusen v Paderborn
6:30 AM – Wolfsburg v Köln
6:30 AM – Werder Bremen v Fortuna Düsseldorf
6:30 AM – Freiburg v Mainz 05
9:30 AM – Borussia Mönchengladbach v Schalke 04
Sunday, August 18, 2019
6:30 AM – Eintracht Frankfurt v Hoffenheim
9:00 AM – Union Berlin v RB Leipzig
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Finally, for those of you that prefer crêpes in the morning, Ligue 1 continues with Round 2. BeIn Sports is the rights-holder. Luckily, BeIn Sports has like 8 channels through their BeIn Sports Connect app, so you can see most of the games live:
Friday, August 16, 2019
11:45 AM – Olympique Lyonnais v Angers SCO
Saturday, August 17, 2019
8:30 AM – Nantes v Olympique Marseille
11:00 AM – Metz v Monaco
11:00 AM – Toulouse v Dijon
11:00 AM – Nîmes v Nice
11:00 AM – Amiens SC v Lille
11:00 AM – Bordeaux v Montpellier
Sunday, August 18, 2019
6:00 AM – Saint-Etienne v Brest
8:00 AM – Reims v Strasbourg
12:00 Noon – Rennes v PSG
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For those of you that are curious, yes we will be covering Serie A in this post, but they don’t begin until next weekend.
As I like to say on the AFL Beat:
DON’T FORGET TO PUT THE FOOTY TIPS IN!
Enjoy the weekend!
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Wait just a second…. I’m getting someone in my ear telling me that this post is also supposed to serve as the Open Thread tonight!
Alrighty then!
What’s on the TV?
IT’S THE BLAX BOWL!!
Live on ESPN at 5:00 PM Pacific, it’s the Las Vegas Raiders against the Arizona Cardinals!
I don’t think I need to go any further, do I? Blax Future vs. Blax Past. WHO YA GOT?!?
(96/69)
[…] good imaginary buddy Balls done got you covered on the matches – so Hippo keeps it short and sweet. After Everton hosts the Moose Hornets in the 10a […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRx58DgOxeg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWdZEumNRmI
BOOOO!!!!! Worst DJ evah!
Adjustable Cats. That’s a million dollar idea!!!!!
Haha. Stupid cats.
So I haven’t had a (non-liquid) carb in about 2.5 weeks. Down around 12 pounds. Tonight’s dinner was lettuce-wrapped carnitas with cheese and sour cream. Dieting is hell, except when it’s not.
Also, the Angels are terrible (the ones who haven’t mysteriously died yet), but Trout hit #40 tonight.
Lucky
Actually, no, I think Trout’s just really good.
Nice
These guys agree.
https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1000565682088632320.html
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
Fuck yeah! The league is full, baby! Good luck everyone!
“And you want to be my latex salesman.”
Sorry, wrong sitcom.
Physical comedy: John Ritter vs. Chevy Chase vs. John Cleese — WHO YA GOT? I’m going with Jack Tripper all the way.
Ritter
He was so committed to the craft that he died as a pivotal moment between acts of the 8 Simple Rules series.
Go Trojans!
That’s a tough one, but yeah I’d give it to Jack Tripper.
I MEAN IT’S RIGHT THERE IN THE NAME!
Ritter. He’s up there with Dick Van Dyke and Larry Hagman.
Hagman’s an interesting mention. From his I Dream of Jeannie days?
Nah, from his attempts to get through life with his original liver.
Exactly. All those scenes of playing off an invisible Jeannie. Great stuff.
BeerGuyRob apparently made a gif last winter.
Haha. Stupid dogs.
Mom! My weiner got wet!
Senor still plays Pokemon Go?
I hit Level 39 yesterday!
Put a helmet on your weiner
Appreciate the Phillies honoring the coming football season by fucking another Chicago team
Boooooooooo
Going from a 4k monitor to a HD monitor feels like HD to SD TV
It’s like going from 3-strip Technicolor down to some crappy 16mm work print.
Look at the latches on that access door. It looks like an Apollo CM hatch.
So what do we think of this?
If it’s a new body-switching comedy, I’m up for it. Haven’t had one of those in a while.
Ooh, and I’ve got a title for it:
“One of the Goodell Ones”
Damn. That’s brilliant.
Uncle Carter
Agreed
Ginger Hammer has a black friend now? That makes everything ok ,, obvs
Did an intern have to tell the National Disgrace that he wasn’t meeting with a player about a suspension for an “off field incident”?
Goodell, like all good henchmen, recognizes wealth on a preternatural level.
“If you can’t buy em, what’s the point?”
–The Ghost of Jerry Richardson
Earlier on Facebook I linked to a tweet of a video from the UK’s Channel 4 where aa PRC spokesman tells the host that China does not give a fuck what the UK says or thinks about what’s going on in Hong Kong. “The UK is in no position to bluff China … Those years and that historical period have passed by forever.” https://twitter.com/FunkButcher/status/1157282862720307200
All empires fall. And sometimes the new boss has not easily forgotten old crimes. And certainly not forgiven.
Anyway, I just felt like mentioning that and this seems like the best place. Good night.
Folks
Sir.
Koach Kliff is going to be fired before the bye week.
he seems like the kind of guy with enough self-awareness to keep Keim awash in good booze
He’s also probably got a buddy with a Cessna with a false floorboard to it.
Go ahead. Go Kliff already impregnated half of Scottsdale
TEDDY FELL INTO THE SANTA TRAP! I REPEAT, TEDDY FELL INTO THE SANTA TRAP!
Oooh, pickles!
file:///storage/emulated/0/Download/tumblr_ne4zaaqG441qbr3fho4_500.gif
TAke a look, y’all
I love that episode.
“That’s a stupid place to keep bowls”
https://overthecap.com/position/long-snapper/
Oh, I thought the traditional way to cheat at tipping was to lower your score.
Four (4) more slots available in my DFO Fantasy Football League. Entry is free, and the winner gets $100 Amex gift card.
https://fantasy.espn.com/football/league/join?leagueId=70181198&inviteId=c0aadb44-4eea-4c22-8a2d-fe169ecfd269
Grab a team. Don’t cost nothin’.
I’m in. Just thinking of the bestest name in all the lands.
Is “Jeffrey Epstein’s towel was a hand-me-down from Aaron Hernandez” too long?
That is banner worthy.
Oh thats good.
I know I’m not around much any more. Ok if I get in?
The #metoo movement is really making a difference!
They’re my plants, and I’ll cum wherever I goddamn well please.
You fucking youngsters don’t know about the really difficult times! We had to fucking WAIT for an image to download.
Downloading multiple binary files on a newsgroup that you had to combine to build one 36KB jpeg.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1So-BxmQy3c
http://www.historyofwar.org/articles/battles_medway_1667.html
NEVER FORGET!!
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
Blax Future is kicking Blax Past’s ass.
THIS GUY BLAX I CALL HIM LOOPER.
and
THIS GUY BLAXITO I CALL HIM POOPER.
So after my double workout yesterday, I’ve done nothing today. Almost literally nothing, actually.
My 5-hour nap gave me the GREATEST sens of accomplishment
Shit’s goin’ down, man.
Sigh.
found a funny:
me: son, today you become a man
“are you gonna teach me how to shave?”
[cutting up hot dogs and stirring mac and cheese] even better
1. What about BSC Young Boys?
2. Puebla is as mediocre as it gets which suits my fandom.
3. Mighty Whitey plays Chesterfield tomorrow.
4. We should really feature an obscure team that Hippo bets on. THIS 3RD DIV TEAM FROM BELARUS REALLY ATTACKS FROM THE GET GO.
1- Young Boys are #1, as usual – J. Sandusky
2- Yes, they are. At least the food in Puebla is amazing.
3- I thought only Hippo followed lower division sides…
4- I’m all for it. Your move, Hippo!
For #1; it had to be done.
Midtylland and Riga FC both fucked me over today in Europa preliminaries.
Midgetland? I don’t think that is cool nowadays.
hey man don’t sweat teh small stuff imo godbless
Next question needs to be some variety of either “How many flags will be thrown tonight?’ [3-25, 26-50, 51-75, 76+] or “how many calls will Lil Hochule fuck up tonight?” [same set of options]
[*Redacted] s Bungles FEEL THE EXCITE!
“IT’S THE BLAX BOWL!!”
Dude, put away your MAGA hat and call it the Celebration Bowl.
Hey what about the MLS schedule?
I would post a picture of the American female soccer fan, but they are all 12 year old fans of the USWNT, and I’m not Jeffrey Epstein.
Since the MLS is the best league in the world, the author just assumes we already know the schedule. All hail Ibra and the LA Galaxy!
Nobra wins
All times Pacific? I’m sick of this left coast bias!
Can’t hear you over all the moaning hot babes and earthquakes.
“I’m not getting any sports readings, just a bunch of soccer talk…”